Working on a documentary about High Needs Babes and AP. - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-22-2012, 09:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone!

 

My name is Kristina and I have a 3 month baby girl. As a first time parent, whew, it's been exhausting. I am currently in the Army but have been working on getting out to spend more time with my baby. The Army is not very friendly to AP styles and I have been told by my Sgts that I should just stop breastfeeding my baby and she'll eventually take a bottle (once in a blue moon she'll take one but she really is a breast only baby) among other ridiculous things. Once I get out I plan on making a documentary about AP with a focus on high needs babies. I'm am constantly bombarded with unwanted advice telling me to let her cry it out and put her in a crib and all babies are the same type mentalities and it is driving me crazy.

 

I am working through kickstarter.com and once I have enough time to put my project together and launch it I will need lots of support to get it funded. But besides that, I will be looking for parents to share their thoughts and experiences with both topics. I will be looking for people who can answer questions and send in videos. I will be conducting interviews with parents and health professionals and just trying for an overall eye opening direction for people to accept that all babies are different and some babies are more "difficult" than others and it's not a bad thing, but it requires a more active type of parenting. So I'm wondering if anyone here would be interested in being a part of this!?

 

Ideas and advice are more than welcome! I'm still new at this parenting thing but I love AP and hope to share how good it is for both parent and baby with the world.

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Old 01-25-2012, 09:49 AM
 
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I've been told so many times that I'll 'spoil' DD by holding her so much, not letting her cry it out, etc.  People would say I should put her down, and I would reply "Do you want to hear her scream?  Because that's what will happen."  She just had a high need to be held.  Most people, especially older people, would just roll their eyes, but I had a few people tell me, "I had a baby like that too.  Some babies are just like that."  It was so reassuring to hear, especially from the older generations, because then I knew for sure that it wasn't just a generational thing, just an attitude/experience thing.

 

I'm NAK right now, so I can't look for it, but your story reminded me of something I'd read, maybe in the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding?  I think there was a short bit about a woman in the military trying to breastfeed for longer than the time she had off. 

 

Good luck!  I'm willing to help out if I can!

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Old 01-28-2012, 10:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amautik View Post

I've been told so many times that I'll 'spoil' DD by holding her so much, not letting her cry it out, etc.  People would say I should put her down, and I would reply "Do you want to hear her scream?  Because that's what will happen."  She just had a high need to be held.  Most people, especially older people, would just roll their eyes, but I had a few people tell me, "I had a baby like that too.  Some babies are just like that."  It was so reassuring to hear, especially from the older generations, because then I knew for sure that it wasn't just a generational thing, just an attitude/experience thing.

 

I'm NAK right now, so I can't look for it, but your story reminded me of something I'd read, maybe in the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding?  I think there was a short bit about a woman in the military trying to breastfeed for longer than the time she had off. 

 

Good luck!  I'm willing to help out if I can!




Thanks for the response. I try to respond as quickly as I can, but you know, babies! I absolutely HATE when people tell me I'm spoiling her. I just want to scream at them and tell them how stupid they are to think a newborn baby can be spoiled by me responding and tending to her NEEDS. I feel so lucky to have run across Dr. Sears' Fussy Baby Book so early. I was able to know that I wasn't alone. People in my company look at me like I'm stupid and naive when I mention her needs and I can't count how many times I've heard "You need to stop that right away!" So now I no longer mention anything. I don't want it to be like this. I want parents to feel free to discuss their babies without the condescending arrogance of people who are too lazy to parent their children.

 

I'll look for the bit about the woman in the military trying to breastfeed, sounds interesting! I'll let you know when I'm collecting interviews and opinions and experiences!

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Old 02-06-2012, 09:50 PM
 
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Hi Kristina!  Congrats on your first baby!  I'm sorry you haven't gotten more support, and I hope you're able to find a way to keep nursing her.

 

Two out of three of mine were high needs, but especially the third.  The first six weeks, if he was awake, he was crying.  I had to swaddle him tight, and THEN put him in a wrap and walk him around the house to get him to sleep.  Even after I got off dairy, which I figured out was bothering him at five weeks, he was still very fussy. He wouldn't nurse anywhere but lying down on my bed for six months. Every time, every position except that one, he just screamed. I couldn't nurse him in public, because he wouldn't nurse sitting up.  Plus he cried the entire time we were in the car, but especially after dark.  He was afraid of the dark as a newborn!  I barely left the house that entire time.  If I hadn't been a lactation educator, and hadn't already successfully nursed two babies, there's no way I would have continued.  I always said it's a good thing this kid came to me, cause anyone else would have had him on a bottle after two weeks of constant screaming!  But he nursed for 4.5 years after that.  :)  I could still call him "high needs" or "challenging" at age 5.  He's a highly aware, gifted, sensitive young person, who has always needed a lot of reassurance from me that the world can be trusted.  He has very high expectations of people, a natural perfectionist.  And he's definitely not afraid to express his needs. :)

 

Babies most definitely have personalities from the very beginning.  My second son was much more easy-going from the beginning, and still is.  :)   I don't know if that helps at all, but I think your film idea is awesome!

 

 

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