February 2012 Whatever Ladies and Babies - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i think it's important to tailor answers based on the readiness of the child. i wouldn't have the same discussion about religion or evolution or sex with a 4yo than i would have with a 16yo. but, i also don't think there's a set age or range when all kids are ready for this or not ready for that. it depends on each, individual child.

ethan and kellen certainly know where babies come from but don't quite get how they are made. when ethan would ask about having a baby sister, i kept telling him he'd have to ask his dad. he didn't get what dad had to do with me having a baby. lol.gif it eventually occurred to me to stop saying that if he didn't get it and wasn't asking why. i am not in any rush to explain the mechanics of sex to him.

I think Ryan was 5-6 when he started to ask about that stuff. He used to help me study for my biology courses and would ask questions.

Carrie ~ Hmm...I'm not sure what it means that you aren't ready to give up most of Finn's stuff. I'm ready to purge almost everything of Dylan's as soon as he's outgrown it. It's kind of bugging me that I can't really do it until Sean gets home. There are few choice things I will probably keep as keepsakes, but even most of my knitted longies will be for sale soon.

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#242 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 03:36 PM
 
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Back to the convo we were having a few days ago about praising kids' efforts vs praising their intelligence. Here's a link to an older article explaining how damaging it can be to praise a kid's intelligence. http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/ I thought it was especially interesting how kids start to think teachers are lying when they continually praise their intelligence. I'd love to hear you guys' opinions on that article.

 

Science stuff...yeah I'm all over the place on that one. I went to christian/protestant schools K-college. I didn't learn the evolutionary theory until I got to college because my teachers would literally skip over those chapters when our science books would attempt to discuss them. I think that's wrong. But I had lots of different teachers in college that had a variety of beliefs. Many of my biology teachers described themselves as old Earth creationists meaning that they don't believe that the Earth has only been around for 7,000 years (the fossil record/carbon dating is pretty much irrefutable on that subject) but they do believe that God created the Earth. I lean more towards intelligent design but acknowledge that evolution on both the macro and micro scale exists. That was an interesting point of discussion when we took the kids to the National Museum of Natural History in DC a couple of years ago. Even though my kids have always attended public school, they go to a very conservative baptist church with their mom and so do not believe in evolution. There is a whole wing about human development and that led to a lot of discussions. I think it's important to be exposed to all the different ideas. We are Catholic and attend church weekly. Prayer is part of our family, we pray before meals and our kids hear us talking about praying for things and others. They also attend church with their mom and get a different level of religion.

 

Sleep..we had a much better night last night! DD only woke to eat and she never really woke up. Question for you mamas that side-lie nurse at night. Do you pick your baby up? DD seemed to do much better last night when I just left her laying down and fed her that way. She only roused enough to eat and then went right back to sleep. But I feel guilty (I guess that's what I'm feeling) about not picking her up for seven hours. Also, she didn't get her diaper changed that whole time and I feel guilty about that. But if I pick her up to try to feed her, she just gets mad and it wakes her up and then she's up for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night.

 

Oh and DD ate 8 oz while I was at work and I was able to pump 11 oz. Woohoo!


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#243 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't pick Dylan up when he nurses at night unless I need to roll him over to my other side because I'm getting stiff. Even then, I don't always pick him up. Sometimes I just roll him over on the bed. Sometimes I roll him over me, which is sort of like picking him up, but I don't sit up with him in any way. I don't know why you would feel bad about that. You are still very close to your baby. She feels you there, with maybe your arm around her.

I agree a lot with that article. I was deemed as very smart at a very young age. I was put in all the gifted and talented programs. I was terrified to try anything that I wasn't sure I would be good at. Even now I do that, sort of. I'll try new things in privacy but not in front of others. When I was in school I flat out refused to write papers because I thought I was horrible at it. I choose to take 0s instead of even trying. I refused to read my own work in front of the class. Again, I chose to take a 0. I know I'm smart. I've been told that all my life, plus I come from smart people. That makes me terrified to look stupid. That's why I acknowledge accomplishments, even if they aren't up to my standards, rather than exclaim intelligence. If you think you can do anything, you will try anything. If you feel like you have to be smart about it, you won't try those things that you aren't smart about.

There are so many different kinds of intelligence but most people only focus on one kind, academic. I was watching the history of the presidents the other day and they were talking about George W. Bush. A lot of people ridiculed him for not being very intelligent because he wasn't an eloquent speaker and couldn't really think on his toes about technical matters. One guy brought up that he had emotional intelligence. He could size up a person and figure out what they were about and the best way to deal with them very quickly. That's a very important type of intelligence to have but you can't grade or score it and most people don't see it's importance.

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#244 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 04:10 PM
 
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MW - I found the subscribe and save on Amazon with sposies. I do not get the organic ones. Which probably isn't the best thing in the world shy.gif

 

Here:
http://www.amazon.com/Luvs-Ultra-Leakguards-Diapers-Count/dp/B004RFF0O0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329868027&sr=8-1

 

When you do the subscribe and save (you can even cancel before ever getting the shipment again and still get the savings) you get about 15 dollars off. I have only had to buy about 4 boxes which is probably closer to 110 I have spent. I think there was an additional 10 or 15 percent I was getting before for being an amazon mom. Not sure. Obviously I am sure you don't REALLY care since you do cloth!

 

I am very Catholic. Go to church every Sunday, teach the kids catechism etc. I am a very traditional catholic though. Only Latin is spoken at mass (except the sermon of course) the altar is not facing toward the people, etc. 
 

I was actually quite traumatized when I went to Rome and saw the english mass going on in all of the beautiful basilica's I had heard about my entire life lol.gif

 

I don't know much about evolution. I don't think the earth is millions of years old and I don't believe we evolved from monkeys. However, I do think that you can be Catholic and believe in evolution. 

I remember one time in my high school catechism class at my church there was a convert (someone who became Catholic) who was a seminarian (someone thinking about becoming a priest) and he was a geologist. He said something about being able to believe in evolution (he obviously did) as long as you believed that God made the very first speck or whatever it is you think came first........or whatever. LOL


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#245 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 04:23 PM
 
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Sleep..we had a much better night last night! DD only woke to eat and she never really woke up. Question for you mamas that side-lie nurse at night. Do you pick your baby up? DD seemed to do much better last night when I just left her laying down and fed her that way. She only roused enough to eat and then went right back to sleep. But I feel guilty (I guess that's what I'm feeling) about not picking her up for seven hours. Also, she didn't get her diaper changed that whole time and I feel guilty about that. But if I pick her up to try to feed her, she just gets mad and it wakes her up and then she's up for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night.

 

Oh and DD ate 8 oz while I was at work and I was able to pump 11 oz. Woohoo!

That's great about the pumping! Every time that happens it's progress!

 

I'm no good at the side-lying, I can't use it for a whole nurse, only if I've put her down, and she's woken up, and then I bring her back into bed with us, but she needs to nurse for a minute or two to fall back asleep. It's too uncomfortable for me, and I wouldn't last a whole nursing session, so I'm no help. She gets picked up every time, because I have to. But I would think that if she needed more (to be held, moved, cuddled), she'd let you know. That's the relationship you've cultivated through attachment parenting her, is that she knows that if she needs something else, she can ask, and you'll do it for her. Likely, she's fine with just the food, and will get her cuddles and holding in during the day. 

 

RE: Diaper changes, I was the same. I had it in my head that no, she could -not- sit all night in one diaper, it was just too long. And so she would get changed around 11pm, and then again at either 2-3 or 5-6 when she woke up, and then again at around 8-9. And I found exactly what you did- it upset her, and would mean she was up for much longer stretches at night. Then I realized people on here were always talking about night diapers, and loving co-sleeping because they didn't have to get out of bed, and concluded that they weren't changing their babies at night. I tried it, and she sleeps so much better at night now when we don't try to change her unless she's obviously pooped or has soaked through. I felt bad about it, but again, I'm trusting that if it was bothering her, she would tell me. 


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#246 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 04:23 PM
 
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Sleep..we had a much better night last night! DD only woke to eat and she never really woke up. Question for you mamas that side-lie nurse at night. Do you pick your baby up? DD seemed to do much better last night when I just left her laying down and fed her that way. She only roused enough to eat and then went right back to sleep. But I feel guilty (I guess that's what I'm feeling) about not picking her up for seven hours. Also, she didn't get her diaper changed that whole time and I feel guilty about that. But if I pick her up to try to feed her, she just gets mad and it wakes her up and then she's up for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night.

 

Oh and DD ate 8 oz while I was at work and I was able to pump 11 oz. Woohoo!



What do you mean by "pick up?" A sleeps right next to me in a crib. When I used to nurse her I would grab her out of the crib and then have her lay by me and nurse and then I would put her back in the crib when I (usually) woke up from being uncomfortable. 

Uhhhh - I don't ever change kids during the night. Unless they poop. If I smell it. bag.gif


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#247 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[quote name="annie2186" url="/community/t/1343936/february-2012-whatever-ladies-and-babies/240#post_16886140"I don't believe we evolved from monkeys.[/quote]

This is a major misconception about evolution. Evolutionists do not believe that humans evolved from monkeys, either. We do share a majority of our DNA and characteristics, especially when compared to other species, so we most likely had a common ancestor. Not the same at all as us directly evolving from monkeys.

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#248 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 04:39 PM
 
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What do you mean by "pick up?" A sleeps right next to me in a crib. When I used to nurse her I would grab her out of the crib and then have her lay by me and nurse and then I would put her back in the crib when I (usually) woke up from being uncomfortable. 

Uhhhh - I don't ever change kids during the night. Unless they poop. If I smell it. bag.gif


If I don't already have milk pumped and waiting, I pick her up and we go out in to the living room. She has to sit in her rocker while I pump and then I used to feed her on the couch and she would fall asleep and I would put her back in her bed. Then she started refusing bottles that way so she would have to sit and wait while I pumped and then we would go back in the room and I would lay her down and then give her the bottle. If she gets full before she falls asleep, well then we're awake for the next hour or so. Last night, because I had pumped so well at work, I was always ahead of her intake so I always had a bottle waiting when she would stir. I would just give her the bottle, she would not even really wake up while eating and then go back to sleep after she ate the 2 oz or so.

 


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#249 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 05:12 PM
 
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[quote name="annie2186" url="/community/t/1343936/february-2012-whatever-ladies-and-babies/240#post_16886140"I don't believe we evolved from monkeys.[/quote]
This is a major misconception about evolution. Evolutionists do not believe that humans evolved from monkeys, either. We do share a majority of our DNA and characteristics, especially when compared to other species, so we most likely had a common ancestor. Not the same at all as us directly evolving from monkeys.


That's correct MW. Here's a link to the exhibit at the National Museum of Natural History http://humanorigins.si.edu/. MW, I bet your boys would really enjoy that hall, and the whole museum. It's free so when you guys get back up here, you should definitely check it out. You could spend days there checking everything out.


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#250 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 05:14 PM
 
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I am very Catholic. Go to church every Sunday, teach the kids catechism etc. I am a very traditional catholic though. Only Latin is spoken at mass (except the sermon of course) the altar is not facing toward the people, etc. 
 

I was actually quite traumatized when I went to Rome and saw the english mass going on in all of the beautiful basilica's I had heard about my entire life lol.gif


I didn't realize you went to TLM. That's very cool. I've been wanting to go to a TLM but they are offered so infrequently around here. The past few months, I'm lucky to get to Mass once a week. I'd like to go more frequently to get DD used to sitting quietly through it. She does well so far as long as we are sitting close enough for her to watch the priest. She's such a nosy butt!

 


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#251 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's correct MW. Here's a link to the exhibit at the National Museum of Natural History http://humanorigins.si.edu/. MW, I bet your boys would really enjoy that hall, and the whole museum. It's free so when you guys get back up here, you should definitely check it out. You could spend days there checking everything out.


I grew up in NOVA and have been there many times. my mom lives in vienna so i try to take the kids every time we visit. last time kellen was a baby so ethan was probably 4 or 5. they boys always prefer the air & space museum, though, which I find soooo boring!

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#252 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 05:44 PM
 
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I grew up in NOVA and have been there many times. my mom lives in vienna so i try to take the kids every time we visit. last time kellen was a baby so ethan was probably 4 or 5. they boys always prefer the air & space museum, though, which I find soooo boring!


I'm not a big fan of the air & space museum either although the Udvar-Hazy out at Dulles is pretty cool. My kids really enjoyed the natural history museum but they are all older readers so it might not be fun for younger ones.

 


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#253 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a good page to read: http://humanorigins.si.edu/resources/intro-human-evolution

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#254 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not a big fan of the air & space museum either although the Udvar-Hazy out at Dulles is pretty cool. My kids really enjoyed the natural history museum but they are all older readers so it might not be fun for younger ones.

 


Even when Ryan was older he still prefered the Air & Space museum.

I can't wait to move back up there so I can take the boys to Mount Vernon and Jamestown and Thomas Jefferson's place (can't believe I can't remember what it's called). My mom has a timeshare in Williamsburg (don't ask me why since she lives only a few miles away) and it's so fun to take the boys there almost every year. Old Town, Alexandria, the National Zoo, all the monuments in D.C.. So much life and history.

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#255 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 06:04 PM
 
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Even when Ryan was older he still prefered the Air & Space museum.
I can't wait to move back up there so I can take the boys to Mount Vernon and Jamestown and Thomas Jefferson's place (can't believe I can't remember what it's called). My mom has a timeshare in Williamsburg (don't ask me why since she lives only a few miles away) and it's so fun to take the boys there almost every year. Old Town, Alexandria, the National Zoo, all the monuments in D.C.. So much life and history.


Monticello! I live 10 minutes from Monticello! That's one of my favorite things about living here. We can access so much history, free history, in day trips. And Baltimore isn't too far away either and there are fun things to do there as well. I've never been to Annapolis but I've heard it's really fun too.

 


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This is a good page to read: http://humanorigins.si.edu/resources/intro-human-evolution


Yes, that was a good page. The whole exhibit hall is really well done and really walks you through the timeline of humans.

 


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#257 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Monticello, yes! When we move back up there we should plan a visit together. Maybe even before we move if we come up to visit again.

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#258 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 06:31 PM
 
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Monticello, yes! When we move back up there we should plan a visit together. Maybe even before we move if we come up to visit again.


Absolutely. I haven't been up in a few years but it is always interesting to go. We have lots of fun things to do in C'ville, especially when the weather is nice.

 


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#259 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 06:45 PM
 
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Wait - I've been to Williamsburg and Jamestown settlement!  Chris and I also love going to Busch Gardens.  Oh, we should meet up with the kids!!!


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#260 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 06:51 PM
 
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Wait - I've been to Williamsburg and Jamestown settlement!  Chris and I also love going to Busch Gardens.  Oh, we should meet up with the kids!!!


DC/Baltimore wouldn't be that far for you. There's the best children's museum in Baltimore, Port Discovery. http://www.portdiscovery.org/ Even my older kids still love this place. Well, DSS 17 has pretty much outgrown it but the other kids still love it!

 


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#261 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 07:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wait - I've been to Williamsburg and Jamestown settlement!  Chris and I also love going to Busch Gardens.  Oh, we should meet up with the kids!!!


Yes! It would be so much fun. Ok, I have to check this with my mom, but maybe we could use her timeshare in Williamsburg. She can usually get more than one apartment. She has a ton of points. One apartment sleeps 8-10 people, 2-3 bedrooms and a fold out couch plus a full kitchen. The rooms vary, like 1 room with a king bed, 1 room with a queen or full and one with 2 twins plus the sleep sofa or some other combo. I'm sure they also have cots and cribs. The complexes have pools and playgrounds and discounts on local attractions.

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#262 of 407 Old 02-21-2012, 07:45 PM
 
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That would be so much fun MW! I love timeshares, especially ones that have good kitchens/dining areas so you can cook your own food. So much cheaper.


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I loved the Air and Space Museum! and the Museum of Natural History. There is so much to do in that area. I've never been to colonial williamsburg, but we have done Old Salem in NC.

 

I've been to Busch Gardens, but I liked Kings Dominion better. I loved Water Country USA . . .but I love water, period. Kids would have so much fun!

 

Sidelying nursing. I don't pick DD up at all. I turn her to face me, because sometimes she needs help. and if I get stiff and don't feel like nursing from the top boob (which isn't all that comfortable a position for me anyway), I either move her to my other side, or move myself, depending on where there is room in the bed.

 

Also dont change diapers in the middle of the night. We probably do DS more because he's a heavy wetter and sometimes it wakes him up.

 

Every day is a little bit better. I know coughs tend to linger, but she's in much better spirits. Love the nosefrida, even if she doesn't!


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#264 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 05:34 AM
 
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Ooh we had a rough night last night.  Makes me appreciate the good ones we've been having!  I also took some cold/cough medicine before bed b/c Im coming down with a dry cough/sniffles, and I figured what little sleep I got would be deeper.  Well.  It just made me groggy.  So - coffee is necessary this morning!!

 

Side-lying, I might feed him from the same boob twice if the other one isn't uncomfortable.  Usually though, the top boob is rock hard and ready to go.  It'll just be a leaky mess if I don't pick him up and switch him to the other side.  I do it in a body hug kind of way so he doesn't completely wake up.  I don't worry about not holding him/picking him up for that long.  He's held and played with all day long, I don't think he's suffering or needing anything.  If he needed something, he'd tell me (as Ava would tell you, Annie).  

 

PS Annie - I keep meaning to applaud you on your exclusive pumping with Ava.  I can't imagine waking up a bunch of times during the night to pump.  Somehow, I didn't realize (or maybe I did and forgot) that when she wakes up, you need to pump right then and there.  Duh - I don't know how else you would do it - but still.  I think you're a breastfeeding rockstar.  You're doing the work of both a bottle feeding mama and a nursing mama - there is a whole new category of dedication, I think, for a mama like you.

 

Is anyone dealing with an acrobatic nurser lately?  Finn is all over the place.  If I weren't a staunch bf'ing advocate, I could almost see how a mama would think about giving up about now.  His latch can be a real mess and he likes to chew.  Once he's on, he head butts my boob (which is usually painfully full of milk) and man, that hurts.  Then he yanks his head around this way and that, scoots down my lap or kicks with his legs upwards, throwing his weight around.  He can't sit still!  He's constantly wiggling or flailing, shoving hands in my mouth, or even worse PINCHING or scratching my boob, back, or arms.  

Nora didn't do any of this.  I *thought* she was an acrobat based on the description, but no way.  This kid is a wiggle monster! 

Usually once the milk is flowing he gets a little quieter.  But not always.  Sometimes he still keeps going nuts and chokes and sputters, popping on and off to look around the room.  He's super distractible!  It's insane.  Totally insane.

Makes it hard to be discreet!  I end up shielding his face with my hand or trying to engage him by singing softly.  I hold his free hand or offer him a soft toy to hold.  I mean, I have tricks but it's just so different now than it was even a few weeks ago.


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#265 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 06:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, yeah, once baby stops pooping all the time during that newborn stage, I stop changing diapers at night unless he's soaked or poops.

Carrie ~ Dylan does the same thing but maybe not quite as much. He kicks his legs and twists his head this way and that. He grabs my face and pinches and scratches. It's so hard to keep his nails clipped. He doesn't really throw his whole body around. He even does it at night while we're all trying to sleep. That's why it's been so hard for me to get good sleep most of the time. He never settles and lays still to nurse. I bought a nursing necklace the other day to see if it would help. He hasn't shown any interest in it at all.

OK, if you guys really want me to try to set up a timeshare, we'll have to work out a few things first. I can go whenever and stay however long I want. Whether or not Sean would be able to go is anyone's guess. I usually just plan things and then invited him. I would like to wait until he's home and has checked in at his new job and see if he can get a set time that he can take some time off so he could come.

So, I'd need to know from all of you when and for how long you could go. I'm pretty sure you can make reservations for either 4 or 7 days (or more). Off-season is usually easier for short-notice. I don't know when the off-season is at Williamsburg, if there is one.

The next question is how much space/how many apartments we would need. All of my family would most likely stay in one bedroom. But if there are other older kids, my boys might be happy sharing a room full of kids. (Not sure we'd be happy with that when they stay up half the night giggling. lol.gif) I'm thinking 2 families with older kids would work in a 3 bedroom apartment and 2 families with littler ones would work in a 2 bedroom apartment, depending on what the beds are. I think we could ask for specifics, like no twins if everyone plans to bedshare.

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#266 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 10:58 AM
 
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Norah is very distractable - pops on and off - part of it is due to her runny nose - but she is going to be an acrobat. as it is, she doesn't lay still; she likes to lay twisted out.

 

MW: I am pretty flexible time wise; but for us we would probably want to do like the end of summer ish or early fall (need to save up $$!) I don't know when is good for anyone else? space wise: we are fine all in one bedroom too, though Gabe is prettty flexible about where he sleeps. He hasn't slept in bed with us in months, but might be willing; otherwise he can set up on the floor or a couch.


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#267 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 11:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Is anyone dealing with an acrobatic nurser lately?  Finn is all over the place.  If I weren't a staunch bf'ing advocate, I could almost see how a mama would think about giving up about now.  His latch can be a real mess and he likes to chew.  Once he's on, he head butts my boob (which is usually painfully full of milk) and man, that hurts.  Then he yanks his head around this way and that, scoots down my lap or kicks with his legs upwards, throwing his weight around.  He can't sit still!  He's constantly wiggling or flailing, shoving hands in my mouth, or even worse PINCHING or scratching my boob, back, or arms.  

T isn't acrobatic yet, but I can totally see her being so once she's able to move a bit more. Right now she's just nasty with her hands, and the last week she's been horrible at sucking for 5 seconds, letting go, sucking for 10 seconds, letting go, etc etc. She'll go like that for 5-10 minutes, and by the end of it, my nipples are on fire. She's still slightly teething, so while she's opening her lips nice and wide... she's clamping down with her jaw, and teething on my nipple. Not a fan. 

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We had another good night.
JJ ~ Can you get those? If so, you have got to try them. They work wonders for Dylan.


Yay sleep!

 

I checked out a couple of the colic type tablets last time I was at the health food store, and they all said 6month+ on them. I've got to do more research. If she was closer to that weight wise, I'd feel better, but she's really not. We did pick up some of the hylands teething gel, and that seems to help when it looks like her gums are bothering her. 


 

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JJ - how hard is it to ship food to canada?  I have access to TONS of good dairy free chocolate.  I wish I could just ship you a box!!

Usually super expensive :( We're going shopping tomorrow, so I'm going to check in the 'whole foods' section to see if they have something dairy free. I'm sure they do. If not, the health food store will for sure. It's just nice to go with brands that I know other people have tried, since some of these more healthy options tend to taste like chalk! lol And then they're also twice the price, so now you have expensive chalk! lol

 

Quote:

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I'm going to get my new stroller for my birthday next month.  I'm just going to bite the bullet and get the new 2012 Bob Revolution.  I just want to find a coupon or a deal so it doesn't hurt as much.

My reasoning is that here I am looking for a cheap used one or a cheapER stroller, and DH decides, oh I need/want a new macbook air laptop.  Boom.  $1000 on a laptop w/o thinking about it.  If he can do that, then hell yeah I can get a good stroller!

Yay new stroller! I agree. I put so much thought into my purchases and feeling guilty about spending money, etc etc, and then DH will be like "But i really wanted it," or "it was a good deal" and not feel bad. ie right now, I keep hemming and hawing over a new carrier, feeling bad, because as DH pointed out, we keep buying and trying new things for her, and they don't work, so we're spending so much money for no benefit. And I get it... but... at the same time, something has got to work, right? Anyways, so he had voiced his hesitation at spending another $50-80 on another carrier... but then went out and bought a new tool off ebay that was $75, just because it was a really good deal. So I'm pretty much telling myself the same thing-- if he can buy tools, I can buy a new carrier!

 

Of course, now just to decide on which one...


 

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I had a great time in college.  I read great books, had such fun, lived on my own, found out who I was.  I held jobs and just had a good time.  Was it worth the student loans???  Hm.  I think about that every time I make a payment.

I wanted to just go to school for esthetics.  My mother didn't like the idea, so I applied to Rutgers College and Douglass, both part of Rutgers University.  I got wait listed at Douglass, so in the meantime I went to register at our community college.  Right before choosing classes, I was accepted into Douglass.  I made the choice to go there and deal with the cost and looked very forward to moving out.  My home life was so unhappy and stressful.

ITA. I'm not a fan of uni/college just as an expectation, ie I think you should go into it with an idea of what you want to do. DH knew what he wanted to do, and it didn't involve university, but his mother basically made him feel like dirt for not going, so he went anyways. Worst year of our combined lives. It was a waste of money, and even in classes that he knew backwards and forwards, he did very poorly. It was a waste of money, and terrible for his self esteem. On the other hand-- for me, university was a huge growth experience. I went to the local uni, with a huge student population, which was very different from my school experience, and it was terrific for me. I feel like I really learned how to be an adult, and responsibility, and it's opposite from what they tout as being 'good', but I loved being a face in the crowd. Especially if you get the dorm experience, I think college is very good educationally, but also socially. 

 

I didn't do dorms in uni, but I did spend grade 12 at boarding school, where I was an RA, so I had a lot of freedom. It was hands down the most transformative year of my life, and has been a big discussion in my head about what to do when our children reach that age. I would love for her to have that experience, but at the same time, cringe at her being away from me. I was like Carrie at that age, where home life was just... not pleasant, so for me it was a good thing to be away. 

 

And if you're smart (in many facets of the word), school doesn't have to be that expensive. Mine was around $4000 a year with books, give or take. I took out a loan first year, but didn't take out any others, and with what I got from scholarships, bursuries, and then my own part time jobs, I was able to graduate completely debt free. Now I had help in that I lived with family for free, and received $300 a month from my parents for groceries/to chip in with bills, but still. It's doable, especially if parents are able to contribute. 

 

Speaking of, I'm guess that most of you are not setting up college funds then? I've always been of the opinion that if we can help, great, but if not, I don't think it's a parent's responsiblity to help with college. But I was doing our taxes last night, and one of the 'helpful hints', was to take your child care credit and put it into an account for the child themselves. Here we have two big child credits-- the general child tax benefit, which is based on income, but right now we get abour $97 a month, and that goes I think until she's 18. And then you also get a child care tax benefit, which is a flat $100 per month, and lasts until age 6. So if you put just the child care benefit in a bank account for her, that's $7200 by the time it's done. Almost 2 years of school...  We're going to do it, and then add in little bits when we can. 


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#268 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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JJ ~ That doesn't make sense that colic tablets would be for 6+ months since colic, by definition, is not supposed to last beyond the first 3 months. My Hyland's colic tablets have directions for children up to 2 years and then children over 2 years, so you can safely give it to newborns/infants. It's homeopathic so there aren't any side effects or contraindications, as far as I know. They are tiny sugar tablets that dissolve instantly in the mouth so there's no worry about choking.

I don't know much about college savings funds. My FIL said he would pay for Ryan's college after the fact but when he spoke to his financial advisor, he was told not to save ahead of time in a specific college fund because it would preclude Ryan from getting the most out of financial aid. Too much saved in a college fund could mean you are not eligible for grants or loans. I'm not sure about scholarships. I do have regular savings accounts for all my boys. I put money in every month (It's not much at all) plus any additional money that they or we get that no one wants to spend.

I would like to pay for any and all of their college educations if they choose to go. I do think it's a parent's responsibility to pay for college, especially if they are the ones pushing their kids to go (which most do), if they can. Totally unfair to tell your child you expect him to go to college and then tell them they are on their own in paying for it. I don't think people should come out of college in debt. I'm not sure exactly how we'll do that since we aren't financially independent. They might have to get loans and then we'd pay the loans as much as possible. Grants and scholarships would be a nice bonus but I am not going to count on them.

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#269 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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talking about being distracted while nursing, dylan nursed around 8-8:30 this morning then slept until about 10-10:30. i tried to nurse him when he got up but he was too busy watching ethan and kellen so he wouldn't. we went out for a bit and it was about 12:30 when we were ready to head home. i knew dylan wold fall asleep in the car so tried to nurse him again before driving home. he still wouldn't because he was too busy looking around, even in the car. sure enough, he fell asleep in the car and napped for about 2 hours. he just woke up and nursed for maybe 5 minutes. so he went about 6 hours between nursings and still didn't nurse long. what gives? shrug.gif

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#270 of 407 Old 02-22-2012, 01:41 PM
 
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I know, it didn't make sense to me about the colic remedies, but I had Tenley with me, and didn't have time to talk it out with the worker there as to why they wouldn't be good for younger babies. 

 

Ok so I know we have Boba owners here-- Beco anyone? I'm liking the mei tai, but Rob still thinks it's a lot of work to put on, and wasn't comfortable at all. He felt like the straps dug in too much. So... *sigh* hunting again possibly. I found a Beco Butterfly 2, for $90, which seems like a good deal to me. I know they come high recommended, but it's always different hearing personal reviews, you know?


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

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