Is co-sleeping the right thing? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 36 Old 04-25-2012, 09:26 AM
 
Annie Thibodeau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: ma
Posts: 15
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, co sleeping is usually theright thing. I start my daughter in a cradle type thing by my bed (I have found white noise, we use a humidifier, really helps keep dd asleep) and when she wakes to eat I bring her to bed with us. I usually wear her for first nap, so I can do dishes, eat something etc. And I try to put her in her cradle to afternoon nap, so her older brothers don't have to be shushed constantly. I have a boucy seat that she will sit in for a bit while I make dinner, sometimes she whines a bit, but I put herwhere she can see me and that seems to help. Also I find talking or singing helps if I'm in the shower and she cant see me. Having an infant is sometimes exhausting. But maybe that means your are doing a good job. :)
Annie Thibodeau is offline  
#32 of 36 Old 04-25-2012, 09:01 PM
 
alpenglow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,584
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 73 Post(s)

You're not alone.  My 1st daughter is now 5 and VERY confident and assertive and independent (and affectionate).  It took a while but listening and responding to her "neediness" has completely paid off.  You baby might be reaching a milestone of increased awareness and the beginning of separation anxiety from mom.  She sounds smart :)  The benefit to them wanting you with them every minute is huge...the toddler years were very easy in that dd1 never strayed far from us, and since "we" were her "sleep aid", she could sleep anywhere when travelling as long as we were there!  This is a very critical time in their life to develop TRUST and foster attachment.  Crying it out, imho, is the last resort, not the first tool used!

 

If the not-napping is getting you too worn out such that it affects your overall happiness or spouse relationship, I'd also recommend the no-cry sleep solution....or simply just trying very hard on putting her down to nap while still awake but nearly asleep (so the last thing remembered is where she was when falling asleep), pick her up when she cries, put her down when calm/relaxed/sleepy, repeat, etc. until she falls asleep where you want her napping.  This helps them learn that their sleeping spot is a safe and comfortable one.   I was too exhausted to do this with my first, but it worked well with my second who is now 6 months (although I admit I usually nurse her to sleep as it works).  With my first, I just did whatever worked (e.g. stroller naps, naps in the baby carrier, etc.).  She never napped in her crib.  

 

I would persist with the baby wearing....a little bit each day until she's used to it.  Whatever carrier is comfortable for you.   I've tried all kinds of carriers and every single time, they weren't well received...but with time and effort the baby settled in eventually.  At one point I had dd1 napping in the framed backpack (around 7-10 months), then setting the pack down and putting my feet up while she slept.  If it was too short a nap, when she first stirred, I would put her on my back again and walk around until she fell asleep again (I just did chores while she was falling asleep - actually got her bedroom painted while she was on my back).

 

So awesome to hear about dads caring about this stuff too! 

alpenglow is offline  
#33 of 36 Old 04-26-2012, 09:03 AM
 
Dr.Worm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,313
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

It's in the user agreement clear as day that Mothering doesn't support conversations about CIO.  

 

Yeah..it's a biggie here.

Dr.Worm is offline  
#34 of 36 Old 04-26-2012, 12:29 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pink Bears View Post

 Much of my philosophy was that I wanted to create a 'parenting philosophy' for myself that would work for a second and third child - and realistically, a second and third child need to be a bit more independent because they can't have your attention 100% all the time.

 

I'll leave aside the fact that crying alone is not in agreement with Mothering's User Agreement.

 

You can't create a parenting philosophy that will work for a second and third child. Children are all different. What worked beautifully with one will not necessarily work with another. And, "independence" in an infant (which is, frankly, a nonsensical idea - infants are utterly dependent on their caregivers) is largely a matter of temperament. Some chlidren are simply more comfortable with entertaining themselves for extended periods of time than others. My youngest (who actually coslept the longest, breastfed the longesr, etc.) is much, much more prone to entertaining herself for long periods of time than any of my other children were at her age. My oldest (19) simply doesn't like to be alone. He's capable of it, and doesn't dislike his own company or anything. He's simply extremely extraverted, and gets a charge out of being around, and interacting with, groups of people all the time. My second child (dd1) likes to play alone at times, but needs people around her at other times...and she was very demanding as a baby...but she breastfed for a shorter time than either of her younger siblings and weaned herself overnight. She also transitioned out of our bed very easily, because she slept better by herself (the only of four children for whom this was the case). And, my third (ds2) coslept and breastfed for quite a while, but was the easiest baby ever. I wore him a lot, and he just slept and ate, and was in a good mood when he was awake. He's now, by far, my highest needs child, and wants attention 24/7, unless he's staring at some kind of screen. He's wildly demanding, on many levels...but also has special needs (the ped's initial diagnosis was ADD and ODD - my suspciions is high functioning autism/Asperger's). They're all completely different personalities, with different needs, in terms of attention.

 

Personally, I was like my youngest...happy to just sit and read, or doodle, or whatever. My mom breastfed for about six months (this was '68, so I'm grateful I got any breastmilk at all!), but never coslept at all. I was in a crib, in another room...although I know she did sometimes bed share after she brought me in for night feedings. My sister, who was raised exactly the same way, except that she had me doing things for her and spending time with her, hated being left alone to do her own thing. It's much more about temperament than anything else.


Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#35 of 36 Old 04-26-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pink Bears View Post

and there are always 'studies' on both sides of every coin - watch out for those, because most of them are not actually legitimate studies - they are funded by the groups that benefit from whatever opinion they're pushing -

 

I am curious as to what group would benefit from finding that cosleeping/bed sharing is healthier for babies? Crib manufacturers can benefit from studies that show these things aren't beneficial, but I can't think who has benefited from my babies sharing my bed, except me and my babies.


Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#36 of 36 Old 04-26-2012, 08:44 PM
 
GoddessKristie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: AR
Posts: 1,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sounds like she's just teething to me. Could this be it?

GoddessKristie is offline  
Reply

Tags
Baby

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off