7 month old cries when I am out of sight - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-14-2012, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd 2 seems to have a 6 inch radar. If I walk or turn away she cries. I just don't remember dd1 doing this. I feel bad b/c at times I have to set her down- when dressing dd1 or helping her in the potty. I just feel so crappy when she cries so much & also a bit like I am suffocating.
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Old 04-14-2012, 09:54 PM
 
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Oh man, I hear you.  My DD (also 7 months) will not tolerate being put down while I do anything for more than a couple minutes tops--and that's if she's in a good mood.  Lucky for me she's my first so I can usually manage to pick her up again before she gets past the complaints into real cries, but I can just imagine.  I would feel crappy too--even though you have no reason to feel so bad!  I know it's terrible to hear your baby cry, but it's not as though you're neglecting her.  You're right there, if she really needed you I'm sure you'd pick her back up right away, and you probably hold her most of the time whenever you can.  (I tell myself that too but I still end up rushing through stuff or doing it with her in the sling, because it breaks my heart to hear her fuss.)

 

Is there a way to amuse her so she'll forget to cry and be upset that you're not right there, at least for a couple of minutes?  My DD will forget to fuss and end up smiling instead if I dance and sing (even little waves of the hand and headshakes count as dancing), or make funny faces or kissy noises or animal noises at her.  And I can get away with going (momentarily) around the corner if I play peek-a-boo and talk to her from where she can't see me.  I think it helps her to know that even if she can't see me, I really am still there.

 

The silly dances and songs are such good baby-amusers that my DD now kind of enjoys watching me from the other side of the room (at least for a few minutes...) because she can't see me dance when I'm right there with her.  My mom and my in-laws made fun of me for doing silly dances...until they realized that silly dances keep the baby smiling and that she'll tolerate being held by random (scary?) people if I dance for her.  It's worth a try... (My DD's favorites are "If You're Happy and You Know It," "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile," and "My Ragtime Gal."  I think she likes them because they're bouncy and upbeat.)


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Old 04-14-2012, 10:42 PM
 
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I understand how it feels... my dd was like that a few months ago. I didn't know what to do and didn't want to keep her crying, so ended up using carrying her in a ring sling all the time. I even took her to the bathroom with me because she'd start crying the moment I set her down. I posted about this and many mamas here assured me this separation anxiety stage will pass. She's 10 months now and it's SO much better. Hang in there!!!


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Old 04-14-2012, 10:53 PM
 
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Ds was the same way at that age.  It's a common stage when they get to the age that they are starting to move around on their own and realize you have to the power to move away from them!  I'll second the suggestion of singing/talking when you have to step around the corner for something.  It was kind of gradual for us, (well, the onset wasn't) but it does get better. 


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Old 04-16-2012, 07:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It is reassuring to hear that it will pass b/c I am going back to work in the fall. I know things changes so quick with babies but it just doesn't feel that way when you are in the middle of it. So I am trying not to stress out how she will handle a babysitter in the fall, babies are very resilient, right! I will try the if your happy & you know it song b/c dd2 does love clapping or if I say "yippee!". Also I should get my ring sling out more. I have an ergo and it is good one she's in it but just takes too much work to get on in a hurry. When dressing my 3 yr old she is prone to kicking so it really isn't safe to have the baby in arms but possibly on my back in the ergo.Thanks for the suggestions.
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:18 AM
 
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It does pass, but with my baby who had the worst separation anxiety, it peaked around a year, so it might get worse before it gets better, and it might be at its worst when you go back to work. Not necessarily, but they're all different, and that is a possibility.

I've read that playing peak-a-boo can help with this. They go through a stage where they don't understand that you still exist when they can't see you, and that scares them, so anything that helps them understand that you still exist when you're out of sight should do some good.

The one whose separation anxiety wasn't so bad had a litlte soft-sided photo album with pictures of us she'd carry around when she was between 1 and 2. Maybe that's why it wasn't so bad? 7 months is young to be holding onto photos maybe but that might be an idea as she gets a bit older and you go back to work. Something like this: http://www.lullabyebaby.com/gd-58501-baby-gund-my-family-baby-photo-album.htm although I think they make the same kind of thing cheaper too.

Good luck!
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:24 PM
 
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Just wanted to chime in to ease your fears about future babysitters. DS (8 mo) is having mega-separation anxiety right now and cries when I leave for work in the morning. But DH distracts him and after a minute or so he completely forgets that he was upset. :)


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Old 04-19-2012, 09:32 AM
 
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Mine too.  Full-blown teething and anxiety all kicked in within the past two weeks.  Whenever I feel like I have had just about enough, I concentrate on how tiny her little body feels in my arms, and how tightly she's clinging to me, and remind myself that she's scared, upset and hurting, and I'm all she has.  And I feel sympathy for her again.  But yeah, I'm there.  Two hours of sleep last night, maybe, and only if I was perfectly motionless, holding her in arms while reclining, letting her comfort nurse.  

 

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