Overwhelmed and exhausted at 8 weeks - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 04-23-2012, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I'm not sure what to do at this point. 

 

Everything is going right.  Breastfeeding is fine, he's gaining a ton of weight, he's smiling, cooing, waving his arms and legs. 

 

He naps... ok...somedays are better than others, but mostly it's ok, and he sleeps 3-4 hours at a stretch during the night between quick in bed feedings. 

 

So by every measurable measure, he's doing great. But I am still overwhelmed and exhausted.  I'm happiest when he's sleeping. I don't think this is depression. My depression history feels extremely different than this.  This just feels...like I'm repeating the same 2 hour routine over and over and endless. 

 

I feel so guilty that I am not more grateful.  Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? Part of it may be that I don't have any real life friends in my town.  My closest friends are over an hour away. 

 

 


1st baby, born 2/25/12. femalesling.GIF. Married to environmentalist treehugger.gif husband, trying to stay calm and trust my body. namaste.gif

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#2 of 12 Old 04-23-2012, 07:13 PM
 
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Baby care is lonely and boring. I got so lonely that I take my baby by my former workplace just to visit people I know. Can you have your hour-away friends visit?

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#3 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 06:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks.  I realize now this post sounds a bit melodramatic, but that's how I feel by the end of the day. During the day it's not so bad. 

 

I try to pack my day with meetups from the online site, visits from friends, going in to work to visit (I have a very relaxed environment to go to), skyping, etc.  I think it's just the lack of routine that's getting to me these days.  I know it will get better. 

 

 


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#4 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 09:27 AM
 
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I could have written this post myself at 8 weeks. And 10. And 16. I felt guilty about it, but I wasn't even sure I was cut out for this. And I felt like I had zero identity of my own. Things are better now. I think I started feeling better about it around 4-5 months. My DD is 6 months now. Being on a routine helped me, and getting out of the house more. I get out more both with her and without and that makes a huge difference. Lean on any help you can get. Leave him with a partner, family member, friend, etc and take time for yourself. I also had to learn to take her with me more, to do the normal things in life with her and stop being afraid she would scream or something. Doing normal activities helped a lot instead of feeling like life was on hold. But bottom line, just know what you are feeling is really really really normal. No one can prepare you for what being a parent is like, and it's a huge shock to our way of life, our sense of self, and everything else.

 

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#5 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 03:47 PM
 
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I just commented to my friend this morning that I just don't feel like I'm cut out for life with a newborn. My baby is nearly 7 mos old now and I am just starting to feel the same level of joy and energy that I used to feel, once again. And this is my third baby, it was the same with the other two. It just seems like you're supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows with this magical little person in your life and I just never felt that way, and felt guilty about it every time. I didn't have PPD or anything but I just don't love caring for a newborn. It is so intense and often feels like a physical and emotional endurance test. As others said, getting out in the world and reaching out to others helps a lot. Also if there are hobbies you like it's good to find some time for those things. It gets SO much better the more your baby 'wakes up to the world' and his/her personality begins to emerge. I don't know about others, but I also start to adapt to the sleep deprivation better as long as the nights aren't too bad. Once I have my cup of coffee I feel pretty normal despite waking 3-5+ times in the night. :)

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#6 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone in this.  I know it will get better - I will just try to keep getting through the days and getting out of the house/meeting up with people as much as possible. 

 

 


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#7 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 08:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeamGR View Post

Thanks.  I realize now this post sounds a bit melodramatic, but that's how I feel by the end of the day. During the day it's not so bad. 

 

I try to pack my day with meetups from the online site, visits from friends, going in to work to visit (I have a very relaxed environment to go to), skyping, etc.  I think it's just the lack of routine that's getting to me these days.  I know it will get better. 

 

 

 

You're so right that the evenings are the worst! I feel okay during the day, but my husband works a lot of evenings and it's just me and the baby. At that point I'm counting the minutes until he gets home. I can't take it and I have no energy left to entertain the kid (who is a night owl).

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#8 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 09:14 PM
 
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It was hard when she was a newborn. I just got bored and frustrated, and she needed so much attention. It has been better even since 3-4 months or so when she has become interested in interacting with things in the environment besides me, so it's not just sleep on me, feed from me, poop, cry, repeat.

 

You can only spend so much time going "Awww so cute", you know?

 

Definitely try to make some friends in your area... getting out of the house is really helpful for me.

 

Also, I got a Nook, which is easy to read one-handed while holding a baby, and it made a difference as well. :)

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#9 of 12 Old 04-24-2012, 10:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Gracecody View Post

It is so intense and often feels like a physical and emotional endurance test. 

 

amen. 

 

i agree with what everyone else has been saying! my DS is 5 months old and now he's kind of fun company! despite the odd "setback" (example: 4 month sleep regression, grumpy teething days) things have just generally gotten easier as he;s gotten older. it's probably a combination of the baby becoming easier to care for and me getting used to caring for him. 

 

i will say this: when he was first born i was hardcore about staying home for his naps and i thought i'd be all routine-y. nope. just can't do it. if i don't get out and do things, i would be so depressed. so as a result, he comes along with me and naps in a baby carrier or in his carseat. keeps me sane! and even though he's getting less "quality" sleep during the day, i'm a better mother to him so i think it's worth it :) just do what makes you feel the best! do what feels right for you an keeps you happy, because chances are if you're happy, your baby is happy.

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#10 of 12 Old 04-25-2012, 07:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by erigeron View Post

 

Also, I got a Nook, which is easy to read one-handed while holding a baby, and it made a difference as well. :)

 


I got a Kindle after DD was born, and love it. I never thought I would read a bunch of books after she arrived, but having such a lightweight thing to read on that picks up right where I left off to attend to the nursing babe is awesome.

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#11 of 12 Old 04-26-2012, 02:44 PM
 
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I feel overwhelmed caring for baby, keeping up on housework, and making dinner at night is like an Olympic test - between prepping, cooking and breastfeeding we usually eat around 10pm :/. I keep trying to go to this new moms group my midwife recommended but either it moved and didn't update the address in the website or like today, no one was there. I moved from Seattle to San Diego in January and have no friends here. Ugh, going to try to find a different new moms group.

DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#12 of 12 Old 04-26-2012, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Everyone,  I am so glad to hear I'm not alone in this.  Just knowing I'm not a weirdo about my baby makes me feel better. 

 

@Kaydove:  I've joined meetup.com and even in my relatively small city, have found a ton of meet ups with all sorts of different mothers. We also just moved here, so I don't know anyone, but I assume San Diego would have a similar large number of groups so you can hang out with other new moms. 

 

@MNBabydust and @erigeron I am madly in love with my iPad these days.  I read, I watch Iron Chef on youtube, I watch netflix documentries.  It's saving my sanity. 

 

@tanyato I'm with you on the nap thing. If we're home, great, if not, off and away we go. It's worth it not to be stuck at home.  Anyway, when he goes into daycare, we'll have a whole other routine to deal with , so we can figure it out then.  

 

 


1st baby, born 2/25/12. femalesling.GIF. Married to environmentalist treehugger.gif husband, trying to stay calm and trust my body. namaste.gif

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