two under two - how do I mother two babies at once? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 05-16-2012, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I may be pregnant with #2. It's great because we always knew we wanted more children AND having two close together means they could (hopefully) be friends and have the same friends etc. 

 

BUT, my son is only 6 months old! These babies would be about 15 months apart...

 

My question is this: how do you breastfeed, co-sleep and baby wear two babies?? I'm loving the way that I can mother my DS right now, but there's no way I'd be able to continue doing this with two babies. I always knew that I wouldn't be able to mother my second exactly as I have mothered my first (all those daytime naps together!) no matter how many years were between my 1st and 2nd, but only 15 months? I imagined doing all the things I'm doing with DS until well past 15 months, but if I have a newborn it just wouldn't happen...

 

Am I making sense? Any other mamas out there with two babies really close together? How did you adjust? Were you able to be the same "kind" of mother to your second baby? 

 

Basically, I need someone to tell me it's all going to be okay and that my DS won't be neglected the minute his sibling is born :)

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#2 of 5 Old 05-17-2012, 12:38 PM
 
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You'll never be the same type of mother again - even if your kids are 10 years apart. Every experience changes our parenting - its just natural. My kids are close together. My parenting is definitely different. The older one adapts, she definitely grew up a bit - and while that sad for me, it probably affected me way more than it did her. She enjoyed helping to take care of the little kids. She enjoyed growing into a different role. That's what families are all about - adapting to another. As for nursing - I cant really help you there as we are a two mama house and we both breastfeed. But for wearing - I was a hardcore babywearer. However, I also believed that one of the benefits to wearing over strollers was that it allowed and encouraged me to put my child down and let her explore her natural surroundings - and then pop her back in when she was done. As a result of this - my elder children can walk a lot farther without getting tired or me coercing/bribing them than most other kids their age. So, when the babies came, when we went out - the children walked. If I ever had to take all 4 kids grocery shopping, for example, it went like this: The older two walked, the third sat in the cart, and the youngest went on my back. Because they had all grown up like this, and we always talked about safety they stayed with me. Yes there were crazy times, and yes they ran away from me - often - but it works for the most part.

 

Just my two cents

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Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#3 of 5 Old 05-18-2012, 10:46 AM
 
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As someone who started out with two, I agree with what poiyt says. Your mothering will change and adapt, and there will be some mourning associated with that as you figure out that things can't go exactly as you like. But you will find a new normal and it will be great. (difficult, especially with two at different ages, but also the interactions will be wonderful and you will find ways to mother that work for the family you have.

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#4 of 5 Old 05-18-2012, 12:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by poiyt View Post

You'll never be the same type of mother again - even if your kids are 10 years apart. 

well said. I hadn't thought about this but it's such a good point! that is just what i needed to hear. it also helps to think of my sister in law whom i idolize as a mother. honestly she's amazing - and she's got 3 kids under 5. she's an incredible mother to them and they are loved loved loved and they know it and are happy kids. babies: all they need is love! :)

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#5 of 5 Old 05-18-2012, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by rinap View Post

But you will find a new normal and it will be great. and you will find ways to mother that work for the family you have.

awesome. having ONE baby required me to find a "new normal" and so will two. but like poiyt said, it'd be an adjustment weather they were 12 months apart or 12 years apart.

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