A controversial view on colic: MUST READ! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 06-05-2012, 05:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What do you think about THIS?


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#2 of 14 Old 06-05-2012, 06:23 AM
 
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i agree, though occasionally a baby could be crying with discomfort from belly aches from mom's diet. but in general the colicy times are normal development. sadly it is when many moms i've known stopped breastfeeding, as they blame the crying on not enough milk.

 

http://www.purplecrying.info/ was like magic for me to read when my 4th baby was colicy. my others hadn't been that way, but every single night at 6:00 she cried continuously til 8-9pm. i'd know when it turned 6:00 everyday.


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#3 of 14 Old 06-05-2012, 01:35 PM
 
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That definitely resonates with me. DS cried a ton when he was little, although it didn't really follow the 'colic' rule of being in the evenings only and it didn't end until 4-5 months. I also tried cutting certain foods out of my diet, and gave up after 2 weeks each time. Just like in that link, people kept insisting that I gave up too soon, and that if only I had tried harder, I could have fixed my son and made him happy. I don't know, maybe it's true, but I just keep trudging through and now I'm on the other side with an almost 10 month old that only cries for obvious reasons. He still cries A LOT, and will do it at the drop of a hat, but it's usually because of something that hurt him, scared him, frustrated him or if he's overtired and fighting sleep.

I do feel strongly that the 'advice' that people give for colic can often be a booby-trap. I heard so many times that I should try a hype-allergenic formula or that I should stop bfing for a few days and see what happens. I guess if you don't understand breastfeeding, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to just stop for a few days, but for those of us who understand the mechanics of bfing, that's not really very reasonable.

Also, I resonated with the 'blame the mom' part. If I complain about sleep I often hear that I should cut out caffeine from my diet. So, it's MY fault that my baby sleeps like crap? Actually I cut caffeine out of my diet for 2 weeks and other than being a zombie at work and giving me massive headaches, it didn't do anything. But it just HAS to be the mother's fault.

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#4 of 14 Old 06-05-2012, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#5 of 14 Old 06-05-2012, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Purplerose (love that name!), someone else just linked me to that site too. It IS so nice to see a different take on colic! 

 

As I said on my FB page, it's time to start looking spherically at colic, in all different directions other than just the ones we can touch, see, and diagnose. A LOT more could be going on...and our babies know what they are doing. 


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#6 of 14 Old 06-05-2012, 06:13 PM
 
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2 out of my 4 babies had colic. Saying it sucked, does not do it justice. It is more like a nightmare, and I totally get all her f-bombs because that is about how I feel about it. DD1 screamed her head off until right when she was turning 6 months, I always say that I don't know who cried more in that time, me or her. When my 4th baby turned out to be colicky, I wanted to throw in the towel, I felt like I had paid my dues, and I get rewarded with yet another baby who cried nonstop. I get the bitterness about a colicky baby. And oh all the comment I have heard over the years, telling me to stop the caffeine, try an elimination diet, try this, try that. I do have some SN kids so I get the same flack about them, "so-so's cousin's neighbor tried this magic herb from Peru and now her kid is normal! " Just what we all need, more mother guilt. I didn't try hard enough so my babies cry, or are not quite neurotypical. Some babies cry, some kids are not perfectly normal, it is just the way it is. wink1.gif

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#7 of 14 Old 06-06-2012, 06:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Man, Peony, 2 out of 4 ~ that CERTAINLY doesn't seem fair! I really feel that colic survivors deserve a medal. And I so agree that all the campaigns, advice, articles, agendas that promote mother-guilt need to be abolished. Every mother, and especially the ones who are in the thick of colic or other difficulties, need SUPPORT and understanding more than anything else. And so do the BABIES for that matter. We live in such a "fix-it" society. What if we just loved, hugged, supported and allowed the baby to do what it needs to do, trusting that he/she knows how to "clear it all out" and heal. Right? What would THAT look like? luxlove.gif


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#8 of 14 Old 06-06-2012, 06:51 AM
 
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I only agree somewhat. She has some points I can agree with, but after my experience, I think that some babies tummies are just exquisitely sensitive, and digestion is very slow to develop properly. My son was colicky until about 10 months. I tried cutting out all the so called common offenders from my diet, meds for reflux helped some (which I wouldn't do again after what I learned though...), CST, chiropractic, etc. 

Then I went on a TOTAL elimination diet, when he was about 6 months old. Ate only lamb, leafy greens (mostly kale and spinach), brown rice, with some coconut oil, salt, pepper. Drank water. That's all. In some ways, I was a little disappointed that it worked, LOL. All his symptoms disappeared within 4 days. We could sleep. He was happy. He completely stopped spitting up. I started to add things in slowly, but MOST things bothered him. There was a CLEAR correlation with my diet. It was hard. I'm not saying everyone can or should do this. But it saved breastfeeding for us and it made me understand all those stories that said, "It's the breastmilk, I switched mine to formula and then they were fine." I'm so glad I didn't, but I'm also glad I found some solution to save my sanity while he "grew out of it", or I probably would have. We are still breastfeeding at 16 months and both eating whatever we want and feeling fine. It was hard, but after that I would never tell a mama that diet is unlikely to play any role. It made me angry that so many people had told me that, and I wished I would have gone to the TED much, much earlier. If I ever have another colicky baby (hopefully not!) I definitely will. Of course, if I had never gone so strict on my diet, I would have concluded the same as the author...


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#9 of 14 Old 06-06-2012, 07:03 AM
 
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Nice thread.  Just took me two hours to calm the baby this morning again.  Thanks.

 

I do notice that when I am trying to comfort my screaming babies (this is my third one of this sort...), my muscles get tighter and tighter until I am practically subconsciously squeezing them.  That certainly can't help calm them.  So, I make a constant effort to relax my muscles and my touch, even when I feel like exploding.

 

Though, for my babies, it does certainly seem to be belly related.  My second couldn't tolerate wheat until well after a year old.  If I so much as ate a crouton, he'd be spitting up mucousy goo, and screaming for hours.  He does have an intense personality in general, but is was definitely the wheat.  My fourth had a lip tie that I didn't know about, and was hungry.  She was gaining okay, but was fussy all.the.time.  Basically, until she started solids she hardly slept, and was always all over the place.  She's still all over the place, but at least she sleeps, and doesn't cry all the time anymore.  Baby number 5, who is almost 3 weeks old, seems to have some reflux issues.  I'd love to think it wasn't belly trouble, but she's clearly in pain, screaming out in her sleep, and burping hugely and repeatedly.  After 5 long nights in a row, and no way to rest during the day (4 other kids), I seem to be in the early stages of mastitis.  On both sides.  Here's hoping it won't progress beyond "hot warm spot", and stays in the plugged duct category.  Off to take some gse.

 

And to be thankful that the baby is sleeping for now, and the big kids are outside.  

 

Whatever the cause, or not cause, Colic IS rough.


"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#10 of 14 Old 06-08-2012, 08:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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OSUvet and Just1more ~ wow, those are some stories. OSUvet, may this be the only colicky baby you EVER have. goodvibes.gif

 

And Just1more ~ and THREE for you? I always felt that colic survivors deserved a medal,  YOU, my Sister, deserve a trophy! And you sound so calm and matter-of-fact about it (are you really? If so, I'd love to hear you secrets). Sending healing vibes and happy baby vibes to you. 


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#11 of 14 Old 06-14-2012, 09:26 PM
 
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To this day my mum still talks about my 46 year old brothers colic-with DD #1 she was soon easy and DD#2 was like a whole different ball game. I can't really get into the details because I can't remember much (sleep deprivation) however, with all the different theories flying around about what colic "is" the one that most disturbed me in the beginning was the one that ended up giving me the most comfort- the theory that colic or extended crying is an adjustment to the world/a baby that readily expresses any and all discomfort and that this is a "good" thing, a survival tactic if you will. I mean obviously now that it has ended I can wax poetic about it. To this day she definitely has a bit of an Irish temper, and hey that's good. Let's me know what's going on with her. Strengthens the bond almost.
So now I view that time of her just being majorly whacked out from the womb to world transition. Life is hard! But I'll tell you this, that 46 year old brother of mine? He's the most mellow of us all! Maybe he just had to let it out in the beginning smile.gif

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#12 of 14 Old 06-15-2012, 06:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Love your whole post Karmamamaa! 


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#13 of 14 Old 06-15-2012, 07:19 AM
 
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My son is now 16 and we know he gets migraines grom sugarcane. He had colic as a baby, and what frustrated me most were all the people telling me nothing was wrong and it was a normal part of development.

I kept a food diary for about 5 days, writing everything I ate, since he was 100% breastfed. The answer was soon clear. Sugar was the culprit. As a sugar addict, I found reducing my sugar intake to next to none difficult (to say the least!), but I'm glad I did!! The colic stopped immediately!!!!!

When I tell others about the sugar connection, the result is usually anger and defensiveness. I just want to help end suffering, though. I have food allergies that went undiagnosed until I was in my 20's. I suffered plenty! So it pains me to think of other children suffering.

Food/symptom diaries are helpful if you don't want to do an elimination diet.

Yes, altering your diet can be difficult. Personally, I never went back to sugar, so the colic gave me a great start in a new life. Other common allergins include artificial sweetners, colors, and flavors. Corn can be hidden as cornstarch in salt, sugar, spices and baking powder.

Having a child allergic or sensitive to something you are eating does not make you a bad mother! It is no reflection on your parenting. Rather, it is simply one of the many frustrating curve balls that come our way in this life. Yet one more challenge to face.

Best wishes for all dealing with colic! It is a trying time. Whatever you do, love your child as best you can. No one can do more. Good luck.
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#14 of 14 Old 06-20-2012, 09:51 PM
 
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Oh man, that is my story with my daughter (now 14mo). That was my summer last year, and crying in arms was one of the *key* avenues for my daughter to find release and become a relaxed, happy baby. Tongue tie was in there for us too. This was my comment left on your post:

 

Quote:

 

While I could do without the f-bombs, your message is our story in a lot of ways.  Diet alleviated some issues but did not make my baby relaxed and calm. What did it was some cranial sacral therapy and two sessions of crying and crying and crying in my relaxed arms. The first time was about 30 minutes long of her just SCREAMING and RAGING and letting out SO MUCH frustration from the fast birth and probably even some of my lack of gentleness with her in the weeks leading up.  She just cried and cried and my husband and I both agreed to try it after I read something about it being a release for babies. Before, I'd shush her and rock her and quiet her, but she wasn't done being frustrated! I really feel that helped her. Pairing that with getting her body straight and loose and getting the kinks out, we had a totally different baby!! She's such a delight and a hoot at 14 months, and we turned a corner around 3-4 mo but it wasn't because we just waited it out. We worked with her and tried to understand and help her and I am so grateful to God for leading us to help our sweet daughter become a relaxed, healthy baby

 

.

 

You can see one of my posts here shortly before we tried crying in arms...I was at a very hard point!

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1320607/help-needed-following-tongue-tie-clipping-update-in-post-16

 

and the updated post after crying in arms

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1320607/help-needed-following-tongue-tie-clipping-update-in-post-16#post_16552811


Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
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