Hi there, so I am probably thinking way too much into the future on this one, but I am really getting stressed about going back to school in September. My daughter will be 5.5 months old by then. (She's 10 weeks now - I know, I should deal with it when the time comes but I am just so worried).
There's no way we can afford daycare so hopefully I'll be able to schedule classes around my husband's schedule - he may have to drop down to part-time work or take some time off work for a bit and we'll just rack up student loans. I only have one year left in my degree so it shouldn't be too bad.
Anyway right now, the baby really doesn't seem comforted by him at all - she'll usually scream and cry whenever he holds her, and she's been that way since soon after she was born. This really scares me when I think of going back to school and leaving her with him; I don't want her to be upset or feel abandoned, and I don't want him to get frustrated.
He works a lot right now (we are trying to save up) but when he is home at night he tries to take over all the parenting duties so they can bond; he changes diapers, gives baths, (tries to) carry her in a sling - we even have tried giving bottles of breastmilk because I thought he could give her the occasional feed and I could get an occasional workout! She will not have anything to do with that - she screamed like mad when we tried cup feeding also.
I often go out for a 30-60 minute run on Dad's days off and leave her with him so that he can deal with things on his own without me around, but she is always red and crying by the time I get back, even if she was sleeping when I left she seems to wake up if I am not with her in the room.
What do we do? I am sad that the baby doesn't seem to want anything to do with anyone other than me, including her Dad.
It makes me so much more worried about leaving her in the fall. Is there anything we can do now to start getting ready slowly for her to be left in her Dad's care? I want her to feel loved and safe, and I want to be able to focus on my classes when I am at school so I can do well and finish quickly. I don't want to be worried that she is screaming and crying, refusing to eat, and missing Mom. I thought that leaving her with Dad would be a fine solution but she doesn't seem to recognize him as anyone other than a stranger.
How can we feed her breastmilk other than bottles and cup feeding? We have tried so many different bottles in so many ways!
And what else can I do to start feeling better about this situation? I just feel so terrible about having to leave her even though it is still months away.
I would drop having him try to feed her for a month or two, then try it again later in the summer. A five month old is a lot different than a ten week old and she will probably be better about taking milk from him when she's bigger.
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds 11yo dd 9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds