Moms with 2 babies close together in age! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 08-18-2012, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please share your experiences! My baby is 6 months but I'm already intending to conceive again. It just feels like the right move for our family. I love being a mom so much and my son really seems to love other babies!

I know it'll be hard sometimes but that doesn't deter me. So I was hoping to get some feedback from moms who have had babies close together in age! How is it? What's the hardest part been, and the best part?
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#2 of 13 Old 08-19-2012, 11:16 AM
 
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So, I'm not really there yet--expecting #2 in a month, and my kids will be 2 years apart. BUT, if you're planning on conceiving again soon, you should know that if your births are 2 years or less apart, you are at double the risk of anemia that you would be if they were 3 years or more apart. I've been struggling with anemia throughout this pregnancy, and I wish someone would have told me about this--just so I could really focus on building up my iron and get it checked before I got pregnant, and really pay attention to it the whole time (I didn't know that my total exhaustion was anemia until about week 28, when my MW routinely checks it). 

 

So, just fyi, that's one way in which your body might really be depleted after having one baby. And good luck! :)


Mama to Silas Anansi, born 9/9/10 and Petra Eadaion, born 10/1/12.

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#3 of 13 Old 08-22-2012, 04:38 PM
 
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Two of my kids are 16.5 months apart. We survived and really, it wasn't too bad early on! I did hire a mother's helper for the first 6 months though. Today, the are 6 & 7 and I love witnessing their super close relationshiplove.gif


Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#4 of 13 Old 08-22-2012, 07:42 PM
 
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The other side of the coin us that being that close in age through school isn't always that great. Not to be a Debbie Downer but I hated being 13 months younger than my brother. He was always in trouble and when I would get a teacher he had, it would sometimes be difficult to shed presumption that we were similar. I also hated being known as his sister by his friends. Something to think about. It may not be at all similar for your kids.

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#5 of 13 Old 08-24-2012, 07:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View Post

The other side of the coin us that being that close in age through school isn't always that great. Not to be a Debbie Downer but I hated being 13 months younger than my brother. He was always in trouble and when I would get a teacher he had, it would sometimes be difficult to shed presumption that we were similar. I also hated being known as his sister by his friends. Something to think about. It may not be at all similar for your kids.
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 My sister and went out of our way to be completely opposite of each other to crash any stereotypes teachers and others had of us. It wasn't always pleasant. I wanted to be my own person and I always seemed to be lumped into everything with HER. That is how I felt anyway. Needless to say, we were not close and still are not as adults. Maybe in another 10 years we'll recovered from our childhood, but for now, still not enough years have passed by. shy.gif

 

 

I never wanted my kids really close together for that reason. What I ended up with though was a  range that spans almost 4 years apart down to exactly 27 months apart but with the oldest of that "set" being developmentally delayed a year so those siblings function like they are barely a year apart. Easy and fun is not words that I'd use to describe it. Maybe years down the road, but for now with them being 3 and 1 (really 2 and 1), it still feels like I am in the depths of hell. And yes we have a sitter two days a week just to function in daily life. I have four all together so dragging the youngest two around with my older kid's events so different then if you had a a 1 and 2 year old and just rarely left the house. We live on the go and it feels like the  two toddlers (OMG and I just  realized that is what I have, no wonder I feel insane!) just throw fits and scream all day long while I drag them all over town and back, probably because that is reality. 


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#6 of 13 Old 08-24-2012, 10:33 AM
 
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Yep, me and my brother are not close and do not speak. I'm sure other siblings close in age are not this way, but it was my experience.


DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#7 of 13 Old 08-24-2012, 11:41 AM
 
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My 5 siblings and I are all 18-20 months apart and it was awesome growing up with some many "friends" to play with. The only downside being the only two girls ended up 8 years apart...that was hard for my sister and me but today, we're close!


Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#8 of 13 Old 08-24-2012, 01:00 PM
 
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when i was a teenager, really from 12 on, i was in a blended family with 4 kids within less than 3 years. my sister and I are 2y 11m apart and then got 2 step brothers that fell within that (one brother was nearly my twin at just 6 weeks older than me,)

while at times it was fun to be part of what was really a gang, it was also super hard having the boys date my friends (and then break up with said friends) and like other have said i would have given anything not to be in high school with my big sister, she was a horrible act to follow. thankfully it didn't last long since she got kicked out of the in tire school system, but i once got sent out of class to the principles office on the first day of class, right during role call, to sign a behavior agreement..... just cause my last name.

 

that being said, i also used to say when i grew up i wanted to either have twins so that no one would be the little sister to walk in footsteps or i would have my kids like 5 years apart so they never were in middle or highschool together.

 

guess what i got? yeah twins, i know.

 

anyway we were at the same place you were when they were about 6 months, we totally decided that we wanted more and were thinking of spacing them about 2 years apart. then my twins started walking and being well.. little people and e have very much changed our minds and decided we are done.  so i would say that unless you reaaaaaalllllly dont want to wait, i would for a bit, only because the thought of chasing a toddler around while you are way preggo or trying to put a newborn down. i frankly have no idea how moms of closely spaced babies do it, and im sure they say the same about me.


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#9 of 13 Old 08-28-2012, 09:38 AM
 
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My boys are 15 months apart. My oldest is almost 27 months and my younger one will be 1 in less than 2 weeks.

 

I love that they are already forming a deep friendship. They love playing together. Watching them make each other giggle is one of the sweetest parts of motherhood for me. But I am a stay at home, SAHM. We currently only have 1 car which DH takes to work, so most of our time is spent at home. My boys are also really good sleepers, both STTN without any help from us, and both take at least 1 good nap in the middle of the day. This makes a huge difference because it gives me a couple of hours to get stuff done while they sleep. We also plan to home educate, so no concerns about teacher perceptions. When DS2 was newborn it was tough, as DS1 was always trying to poke him in the eyes, so we really could not leave DS2 on anything within rear of DS1, so floor time was rare. It took a few months to train DS1 out of doing that kind of thing. We love our family dynamic so much that we are already trying for another baby.

 

My older brother and I were 18 months apart, and went to public school (in Scotland) and never really had any issues because of our age gap. We were best friends growing up right through until high school. As adults we are not as close, but we do live in different continents, so no big surprise there. We do know that if we ever need the other one we will be there for them. My younger sister and I have a 6 year 4 month age gap (so almost 8 years for my brother & sister) and she struggled with insecurity her whole childhood, as she was never as close to either of us as my brother and I were to each other. Even my mum has said it felt like raising 2 different families.

 

My DH and his brother are 21 months apart, and still very close to each other. (BIL took the day off work to help support us when DS1's labor was transferred from home birth to hospital, and was the first in the family to hold DS1 (except DH & I.)

 

ETA: I have had low grade anemia for over 10 years, and it was NOT any greater an issue than normal during my pregnancy with DS2.


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#10 of 13 Old 08-28-2012, 11:16 AM
 
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I should note that plenty of moms have babies that close with no iron-related problems. It's about 50%, compared with about 20% of women who space their babies farther apart. Here's the study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9132965


Mama to Silas Anansi, born 9/9/10 and Petra Eadaion, born 10/1/12.

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#11 of 13 Old 08-28-2012, 11:17 AM
 
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Adorkable, that's really interesting to hear. We were thinking of a 2-year gap, and as we get closer to the trigger-pulling time, it seems entirely crazy. We're currently thinking we'll reevaluate when it comes time to think about a 2 1/2 year gap. But three is starting to sound even better... Much beyond that and I think we'll probably decide to keep it to two...but then there's this fear that we'll try for 3 years and then it will take too long and we'll stop. :|

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#12 of 13 Old 08-28-2012, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Awww..I love hearing these stories, the good and the bad! We are also planning to home educate.
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#13 of 13 Old 08-30-2012, 09:31 PM
 
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I've got 3 DD's. The first two are 19 months apart and the second two are 21 months apart. For the most part it has been really great. Hard, but great. DD1 is almost 4 and DD2 is 2 years and they play so well together. But when they were younger, finding the balance was not easy. I mourned the loss of my first being an only and being able to give her all my attention. And DD2 definitely cried a bit more because I was not able to meet her needs as quickly because I had a toddler to deal with too.

I am just now getting the hang of having 3 kids under 4 years old and I have to say that it has been really tough. Thank god I have a mother's helper a couple of times a week because it saves my sanity.

I don't know if you're breastfeeding, but that might be something to take into consideration. Some women loose their supply as soon as they become pregnant. Some are able to keep bf for awhile and some have to supplement.


Maegen, adventurous wife to DH, loving mom to my beautiful DD's and expecting another babe in March 2012!

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