My baby uses me as her dummy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 10-03-2012, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
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My baby has been crying a lot and sleeping poorly since she was about 5 weeks old (she's also always had problems pooing). Out of pure survival instincts I have started feeding her to sleep. I have manage to break that habit during the day if I take her for a walk in the stroller instead. She will not sleep in her bed without me feeding her. She used to let go of my nipple when she was done eating but by now (she is 7 months) she needs to be fast asleep before I can leave her. She also wakes up about every 2 to 2.5 hours most nights.


I have tried about 6 different shapes of silicone dummies and 3 shapes made from natural rubber, she will not take any of them.


We have taken her to an osteopath, a mircro kinesist, the regular pediatrician a homeopath, a chiropractor and our GP. She has been on anti-reflux medication (which made her better for a little while), laxative to help her poo (without that I generally needed to give her a suppository to help her) and various drops that are supposed to help with colic/wind issues.


Last week I decided to take her off all medication. She is finally pooing more often and spontaneously and has less problems with gas. However, she is still a very poor sleeper and persistently refuses a dummy.


Any tips from anyone who recognises some of the issues? Thank you.

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#2 of 7 Old 10-04-2012, 03:14 PM
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I think this is completely normal. All of my boys have nursed to sleep, and I rarely can sneak away before they are in a deep sleep.It is frustrating and really annoying, but I dont think that it is a serious issue. I never really tried to get them to take a paci, but when I would give them one they would almost always spit it out. I don't have a set nap time for my kids either. I wait for them to show me signs that they are tired (yawning, rubbing face, crying, general crabbiness) and then put them to sleep. If I try before they are showing signs of tiredness they don't sleep well. Hope this is helpful. :)

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#3 of 7 Old 10-04-2012, 03:24 PM
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I agree that she sounds totally normal. I know there is a whole world full of people out there that believe it's bad for babies to fall asleep at the breast, but the fact that all -- and I'm pretty sure that's ALL -- babies do it makes me think it is perfectly natural and the way it's meant to be.

Both of my kids followed the same path with the night waking thing. Up until somewhere around a year they'd last a couple of hours without me, but would sleep much better once I was in bed next to them. As they got older the time they could go got longer. Now my younger one is 3 1/2 and he almost never wakes up before I go to bed and often sleeps through the night w no waking at all.

Eta: You used the phrase survival instinct and I think that's exactly right and great! You should follow your instincts. And it also sounds like a great call on all the meds. It sounds like she's doing fine without them.

Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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#4 of 7 Old 10-05-2012, 12:33 PM
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Just wanted to agree with everyone else.... sounds totally normal. My DD is sleeping right now with my breast in her mouth for the past hour. She loves sleeping this way and its the only way she sleeps at night. She wakes several times and all she wants is to nurse, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot and them she's back asleep. smile.gif I think your baby is very smart to prefer her loving warm mommy over a plastic artificial nipple. Just saying. Ive also been reminded by my midwives and other friends that this whole first year of our babies' lives includes so many changes and new experiences for such little people. They are so open at this age and going through a heck of a lot that I personally believe if they need extra TLC or extra breastfeeding, then why withhold that from them? I can get really frustrated with people around me pressuring me to treat DD practically like an adult and to expect that she should just get along fine on her own or follow the cookie-cutter image of the 'perfect baby' who sleeps alone in her crib for hours according to her perfect schedule.' Some babies may do that but some babies certainly don't. I think that you're doing the best that you can and doing a great job loving your LO. And since you're picking up on your baby's cues that she wants to/needs to nurse to sleep... then IMHO continue to do so. smile.gif your baby is only a baby for such a little while, and all the love and sacrifice you invest in her upbringing will bear much fruit. smile.gif

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#5 of 7 Old 10-05-2012, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for your supportive words. It does make me feel so much better to know that other babies have very similar sleeping preferences. I have an older son (he is 4 now), he cried a lot less and would easily fall asleep in the sling and not wake up while transferring him into his bed. I will stick to co-sleeping and forget the pacifier for now. She's seems to be taking quite well to a little soft toy sheep that I give her to hold while she nurses, she used to cling to my t-shirt which made it even harder to pull away.

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#6 of 7 Old 10-05-2012, 08:38 PM
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Many babies won't take a pacifier and that's ok. It's not something that you have to teach her. If anything, it's nice that you won't have to find a way to get her off of it when she's older.

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#7 of 7 Old 10-06-2012, 07:31 PM
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Same exact scenario here with my 9 month old. I am nursing round the clock...he had reflux and constipation until 6 months too! He wakes every 1-2 hours at night. I still think I am doing something wrong. Other moms complain how their babies still wake once at this age. I would give anything to only wake once to nurse! He only sleeps 30-45 minutes (first sleep cycle) alone. After that, he will not sleep without movement or latched! This is for both naps and overnight. We had to hire a mothers helper because he is so needy for me in order to sleep!

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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