HELP! ALWAYS cries before sleep....any ideas??? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 02-08-2013, 10:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
ladyleah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

HI Mammas...

 

I have a beautiful 16 week old boy who is a happy, cooing, drooling guy during his wakeful periods.....but cries like hell before all naps and bedtime. And cries usually when he wakes up. And I mean CRIES....not fussing...but crying like a crazy train. Like out of control.

 

And I don't mean that we put him down and walk away and he starts crying (we know that would cause crying, of course!!!)- I mean that he cries in my arms, while I am nursing him down-- or in my husbands arms.....we are holding him the whole time until he passes out!!! Sometimes he doesn't cry while nursing down- but often he does (and no, he doesn't cry at all while nursing when he is not approaching sleep). When he was little bouncing on a ball or other things could distract him to break the crying cycle on occasion- but now, not so much. Like I said- it doesn't matter if its a nap- or bedtime.....he usually has some sort of cry fest before hand sometimes short- sometimes like 15 minutes long!!!!!

 

I am pretty militant about putting him down before he gets over-tired---so I just don't get it. Perhaps this is just what he "needs" to do???

 

It feels awful! He is easily comforted btw by holding, rocking, nursing if he is not going to sleep-- and didn't have colic.

 

My first didn't do this...so its making me crazy. I feel like am damaging him...but I don't know what to do! He is happy and "normal" in every other way as far as I can see....the only other issue he has is screaming bloody murder when he is in the car. He hatessssss it. He appears totally pissed that I can't pick him up (read my other post from a few months ago)- and trust me,,,,I AM totally pissed that I can't pick him up. ;) That is also misery that has us staying home often!!!

 

Any ideas?

ladyleah is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 02-08-2013, 10:42 AM
 
Frioct3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son used to do this, for him it was being overtired. I know you said you don't think that is the problem but maybe try putting down earlier anyway?
Frioct3 is online now  
#3 of 8 Old 02-08-2013, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
ladyleah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I will try that for bedtime- but for naps it's tough. He is only awake approx. 1 1/2 hours usually before nap starts and he's tired for sure. It's a tricky notion to figure out what his nap sleep window is these days...
ladyleah is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 02-08-2013, 11:59 AM
 
susanmary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi ladyleah,
I actually can't believe I'm replying to this post as it wasn't long ago that we went through the same.

My DS used to cry hard in our arms before every nap as well. It was such a difficult time. By 14 weeks he would take much longer to fall asleep if my husband tried to put him down for a nap. From 16 weeks onwards I started walking/rocking him while nursing him at the same time and this helped him fall asleep much easier. We also had blackout blinds and heartbeat sounds playing as he's a very light sleeper. At 16 weeks I also decided to come out of the room if his crying got very intense. I would then walk around the house, DS in arms, boobie in his mouth, and return to the bedroom after a few minutes to try again. By 20-22 weeks the intense crying before each nap had passed. But YES .... naps became all on me and still are. So I suppose I'm just sharing our story rather than giving advice.

Also from 11weeks my son started crying after 10 mins in the car. I know how limiting it can be!!! For us, I am pretty certain he cried because the car made him sleepy but he couldn't transition to sleep in the car seat and then cried from tiredness. Back then if we had to travel someplace further than 15-20 minutes i would sit in back of car, lean into the carseat and allow my son breastfeed when he started to get fussy and he was often asleep within minutes. i KNOW how crazy that must sound to people bur it was the only way we could travel safely. My DS is now 14 months and we have done trips up to 90minutes with me in front driving and husband in back entertaining DS with books, songs, toys, DVD etc. we make sure we leave for the journey shortly after a nap so he isn't tired.

Just a glimpse into my crazy world!
susanmary is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 02-09-2013, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
ladyleah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Susanmary- I totally can relate! I posted back in December about a long car trip where I spent 3 hours laying over the darn infant bucket seat so that my LO could nurse while we were driving down the road! Not fun- but i was desperate on a 9 hour car ride! And also really dangerous, I know!
ladyleah is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 02-09-2013, 11:57 AM
 
susanmary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Anything to stop the crying though! It's so distressing for everyone, isn't it! When my son was almost 1 yr we invested in an in car DVD player which gets us longer in the car without him fussing. I'm generally anti tv, but in this case it's well worth it.

The only other thing I can say is that it really does get easier as they get older and need less sleep. My DS first 6 - 8 months were so much more difficult than I ever imagined, but he's worth every tough moment. :-D
susanmary is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 02-09-2013, 12:32 PM
 
mamalisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Germantown WI
Posts: 8,427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My first nursed to sleep and never cried.  Dd HAD to cry before she went to sleep.  It didn't matter what we did, cuddling, nursing, rocking, they all made it worse.  Finally we just started putting her down and letting her be and guess what?  She just cried for a few minutes and went to sleep.  It was almost as if she needed that release before she could relax enough to fall asleep.  Even now at 7 she's highly emotional (and still flips out before bedtime and cries, hmm).  I still don't know how to parent her, because she goes against a lot of what I feel comes naturally as a mom. 

 

It used to take us 3+ hours to make an hour and a half drive.  I turned her ff at 14 months because I just couldn't take the crying anymore.  Like magic she was just fine.  A big change from keeping ds rearfacing until after his 3rd birthday :(  Sanity won out over safety on that one.   She HATED the car.

mamalisa is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 02-10-2013, 06:01 PM
 
heatherdeg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Everywhere... thanks, technology!
Posts: 4,888
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

I had a former foster daughter that we had for the first 10 months of her life.  She did the same thing to me.  It was short-lived, but it was a good cry.  And same thing--we didn't leave her, she wasn't scared or anything.  And I'm going to bet I probably have an old post here trying to figure it out, too, because the LAST thing I wanted (especially for a child that wasn't with her mama already) was to have this little one suffer any more trauma.

 

And she totally napped during the day, plus she slept well after that 3-5 min. spout.  Someone suggested that maybe she was just one of those kids that needed to release the energy of the day and in her own little body--this was how she could do it rather than kicking or something else.

 

I forget how old she was when she stopped, but when she left us at 10mo, she was no longer doing it.  (she is almost 6yo now luxlove.gif )


Heather - Wife , Mommy  & Health & Wellness Educator, Speaker & Consultant 
 
Dairy, soy & corn free with limited gluten... yes, really. And journeying towards peace.  Blogging about both.
 
Let me guide you to find the food and lifestyle choices...
heatherdeg is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off