Any moms out there with babies who hate carseats? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 05:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I dont mean hate, I mean really HATE their carseats :S
Ever since day one dd has hated being in the carseat in the car. Its werid bc she slept in her carseat the first week (wouldn't sleep any other place) and she doesnt mind the carseat when in the stroller or sitting in it while I take a shower. But when we get in the car...whole other story. Sh is almost 5 months now.

I do not let her CIO. She barely ever cries. But after about 20min in the car she starts to squirm and then she turns into a really sad and upset baby. I hate seeing her this way. Its happened twice on two different trips that were about 1.5hours in length. I was a nervous wreck. I tried soothing her every way i knew how but the only way we eveutally made it home was to stop every half hour for cuddles and nursing. When she gets upset like that it throws her off for like two days. Shes a wreck when she gets home and sleeps horribly that night and is still in a funk the next day:( so its just not worth it to me.

So long story short we dont really go anywhere anymore. Family lives about three hours away and keep I sisting we go there to visit...although they visit here and I really don't understand the difference. ..and say oh she'll gwt used to it, just leave her cry herself to sleep greensad.gif no way in hell, sorry doesnt jive with me.

We've tried taking shorter trips so she'll get used to it, bringing her favorite toy and blankie, bf her in her carseat (I can't master this. My breasts are on the small side and I can't make it work) music in the car you name it.

My dh and i love roadtrips. Not long ones, just around the province to nearby beaches and trails. I am desperate to get out of our county!

Any advice fom mommas with experience? Will she eventually get used to it?
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#2 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 05:12 AM
 
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Yes my #2 and 3 HATE HATE HATED the car seat. You are not alone.

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#3 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:09 AM
 
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How old is she?

 

Our daughter HATED the car seat until around 3 months and is just starting to hate it again at 9 months.  The key for us is to schedule driving around her usual sleep time.  We have two long drives coming up (one 10 hour and one 14 hour) and we plan on doing them overnight so she'll sleep through most of it.  If your babe is on solids you can also try various "treat" foods that you wouldn't normally give her.  My daughter LOVES Baby Mum Mum and they're great for the car because they're easy to grasp and don't end up everywhere. 

 

If she's not on solids yet, you can try introducing a bottle if you haven't already and/or sitting in the backseat with her (which I'm sure you already do).  A lot of the adaptations really depend on how old she is, since different tricks seem to work at different ages.


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#4 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:28 AM
 
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Aha my third screamed in her carseat until she was around 16 months old. We got a minivan and she magically stopped screaming. Also I ff her at the same time (in 2003 that WAS extended rf!)

 

My fourth has just in the past few weeks stopped screaming in the car, and she is now 19 months old. She is of course still rf for a long time but has a mirror where she can see me. She doesn't really pay much attention to me, though. These last two kids just really hated(HATED) being held down...they also would scream in the grocery cart. Especially my toddler now, it's awful.

 

I have just tried really hard to never have to go anywhere with her besides school drop off/pick up and short rides. I don't go grocery shopping, visiting, nothing, if an older kid or dh is not with me. It sucks, really, and is really isolating, but I can't handle the hysterical crying bc she is also one of those babies who if she cries hard enough, can't get her breath and I just can't handle that anymore than I absolutely have to.


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#5 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:32 AM
 
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I actually nursed those two car-haters while dh or my oldest daughter drove. There is no stopping for cuddles or anything, if we stopped, she'd immediately get hysterical, screaming to the point of throwing up as soon as she was back in her seat. I have old-mama saggy boobs so I could lean over and nurse. I know it's not safe, I don't want to hear any preaching about it. There comes a time we do what we have to do.

moss likes this.

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#6 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:37 AM
 
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As #3 got older, we realized if we really loudly sang certain songs, she didn't cry as long as we were singing. Some of them were "Hush" by Afroman(yeah stupid lol), The Ants Go Marching, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. #4 stayed happy much longer if we played the Muppets' Mahna Mahna in the car. Not forever, but quite a few minutes!


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#7 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:43 AM
 
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My son HATED the carseat, especially in the car. Things were so bad once that I totalled the car because I was trying to distract him while driving (and failed to notice the car two cars ahead of me slow to make a turn, and I ended up rear-ending the car in front of me). Things got better after we turned his seat around (too early by today's standards). I tried putting mirrors up so he could see me, and that helped some. Mostly, I tried not to travel by car without someone else along to distract my son. Good luck, and remember "this, too, shall pass".
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#8 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:55 AM
 
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Yes, for 18 years my mom has been telling me, "This too shall pass". It certainly does! Then it's something new ;)

 

Ok Go has a cute song +video with the title "This Too Shall Pass".


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#9 of 24 Old 05-14-2013, 06:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Totally forgot to mention her age aorry. She is just a couple weeks shy of 5 months
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#10 of 24 Old 05-15-2013, 06:38 PM
 
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My DS is a year old and still hates his carseat.  We have a convertible carseat now, and it has made no difference, he hates it just as much as he hated his bucket seat.  He tolerates the car a bit better when I sit back there with him, but he still fusses and cries after anything more than 15 or 20 minutes.  Now that he's a bit older, I've had some success giving him fruit or veggies in those mesh teether things, but if he's tired or cranky, there is no soothing him in the car no matter what.  It's really tough, I've felt very isolated with him because I don't want to go anywhere in the car and listen to him scream or pull over 3 times in a 15 minute trip.  I'm still waiting for this to pass......

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#11 of 24 Old 05-15-2013, 07:34 PM
 
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It really helps when people act all shocked bc they think all babies always like being in the car. hearing that repeatedly always lifted my spirits right up!

Not really.

drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#12 of 24 Old 05-16-2013, 06:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh that kills me. My mil is like oh she'll just fall asleep. I've heard my dh say oh she loves her carseay...im like are we on the same planey? Lol
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#13 of 24 Old 05-16-2013, 09:44 AM
 
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My son screamed in the car for the first two years.  No matter the seat, no matter the position, no matter how short/long the trip.  We tried moving him to a cushy convertible, we tried installing it at a more upright angle, moving the seat from the side to the middle and back.  Nothing helped.

 

At two, he started tolerating rides up to 15-20 minutes.  Sometimes.  A few months later, he was a dream in the car as long as he had someone sitting in back to entertain him.  (We were doing that before, but he still screamed.)

 

He RF until 4y, so it wasn't a FF/RF issue.  He loved riding the bus and the train.  He just hated being restrained, I think.  He screamed if we tried to use the carseat with the stroller as a travel system, too.  

 

At 6y, he's a brilliant traveler.


Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.

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#14 of 24 Old 05-16-2013, 11:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

It really helps when people act all shocked bc they think all babies always like being in the car. hearing that repeatedly always lifted my spirits right up!

Not really.
Lol. I love to hear this too. And then I'd love to kick the person who said it in the shins really hard.
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#15 of 24 Old 05-16-2013, 12:53 PM
 
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All 4 of mine were not find of the car seat, some truly hated it. Ds1 would cry till he gagged himself and sometimes puked, and currently #4 does ok sometimes, especially in the morning, but the later in the day it is the more he hates his carseat. Idk what's up with that!
I often think it's becuz they're rear facing, and that has got to be boring.
Or maybe they're so used to AP that they don't know what to make of this whole carseat deal...

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#16 of 24 Old 05-16-2013, 02:18 PM
 
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My son hated the car seat. He's three now and travel is better. Oh the first two years though were so heartbreaking. Many, many nursing stops.
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#17 of 24 Old 05-24-2013, 07:22 PM
 
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Yes, my Ds1 would cry until he threw up unless he was asleep when we put him in the car. We avoided travel (even within the city) as much as possible. He improved considerably when we turned him FF at 16 months so I think it was motion sickness. I had wanted to keep him RF for much longer but when we moved his seat FF to accomodate an extra car seat for a road trip with friends and he was not misersble and didn't throw up we left his seat that way.

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#18 of 24 Old 05-24-2013, 07:42 PM
 
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Yup-- DS HATED the carseat from the beginning as well. Even errands were a huge challenge. He would scream until turning blue. Basically we only drove when absolutely necessary-- and turned him around way earlier than I had planned. That seemed to resolve the issue-- he was still wiggly and got bored (and therefore upset) after a short period of time, but it was nothing like the first year. I suffer from pretty bad motion sickness, so I wonder if that was the issue? Or maybe just feeling disconnected and disoriented? We bought mirrors and toys and every gadget ever invented in hopes that it would help, but none did. 


~may all beings be free from suffering~
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#19 of 24 Old 05-24-2013, 11:57 PM
 
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My baby has always hated the car seat. Ever since we brought her home from the hospital. I can usually distract her if in in the back with her and my husband drives. Recently I mad to drive to move to our new house and she was in the back alone and flipped out. She screamed worse then she has ever before and it didn't stop. She never tired herself out. As soon as we got home and I took her out, her crying stopped instantly. She hates the straps and how she is enclosed in.
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#20 of 24 Old 05-25-2013, 04:14 PM
 
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All babes are different, so I don't want to sound overly optimistic, but my DD2, who hated the car seat with a passion when she was a newbie, is much better at 10 months.  As soon as she was interested in toys and snacks short rides got much easier.  I still try to time long trips to overlap with a nap time to decrease stops.  Love the comment about wanting to kick in the shins people who say "but oh- don't all babies love the car?"  I feel the same way.


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#21 of 24 Old 06-03-2013, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to update. We have successfully had two small roadtrips with no tears and Sunday dd actually fell asleep in the car twice after a beachday! It feels fantastic to be able to get out and about. Lets hope we are on a good path and it wasn't just a fluke :-)
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#22 of 24 Old 06-05-2013, 09:42 PM
 
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My 18 year old SCREAMED every moment he was in the car until I turned him forward facing on his first birthday.  My 2 year old, I had more information on car safety, I was determined to keep him rearfacing until at least 3... but he SCREAMED, SCREAMED, SCREAMED, no matter what I did, how I tried to comfort him, (so bad we actually had a cop pull us over one day to see if the baby was okay) so one day I finally flipped him forward facing at 18 months to see if that would work and he hasn't complained since.


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#23 of 24 Old 06-06-2013, 04:12 AM
 
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I hope things *are* getting better (and not just temporarily)! It's so difficult when a child hates the carseat.
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#24 of 24 Old 06-07-2013, 01:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope so too. We are plannng a short two hour drive trip on canada day...cross your fingers! !
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