Working after baby??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 06-05-2013, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I have been unemployed since July 2012. My husband and I baught a house in October. I tried for unemploymet but no luck. Anyways I am due August 1st. and obviously no one will hire me. Ive been looking the entire time and again no luck. I want to go  back to work as soon as i can after baby because we are struggling as it is. But im already afraid of how it will be. So I wanted feedback from other working mommas on your experiences. How soon did you go back if thats what you chose. And just how difficult is it? i know it wont be easy. I get knots in my stomache already just at the thought at leaving my baby and she isnt even born yet.

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#2 of 10 Old 06-05-2013, 06:35 PM
 
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Hugs to you mama. It is hard to go back to work with a newborn. I won't lie. I did it once, and didn't last a month back to work and haven't done it full-time since. But, if it is out of necessity, it has to be done. Definitely get your supports in place and start looking for daycare options.  

Do you have a degree? Or a field where you will make significant income? It might not be worth it for you to go back full-time. You might want to look at other options--part-time evenings/weekends when partner can watch baby. What about home daycare? Watching a child or two. Before/after school care is a great option and leaves you free most of the day with baby. You could also look at working at a daycare and taking baby with you. 


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#3 of 10 Old 06-10-2013, 04:34 AM
 
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Hugs. It is hard. I wait tables 4 nights a week. That is such a great arrangement for us right now, because, like pp said, unless it is significant income, covering daycare is tricky. But, even then, it was (and still is) hard to be away from a baby. Good luck! I hope you find something that works out for your family.

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#4 of 10 Old 06-10-2013, 10:57 AM
 
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I went back to work 4 days/week in November when DS was 7 weeks. I think the hardest part was that I exclusively breast-fed and the whole pumping thing stressed me out. I couldn't pump enough so we had to supplement with formula (which I hated to do... Then I had to make peace with it otherwise it would have drove me crazy!).

 

Also my husband takes care of him while I'm away, which makes things easier too. I don't know how I'd feel with a stranger... We couldn't afford it anyway, might as well not work!

 

Don't  get me wrong I LOVE my baby and when I'm not at work I spend all my time with him, but I like working too. My family and friends are far (in another country lol!) so It's my only social break from the house! And I love riding my bike to work, it's such a pleasant break AND a work-out.

 

So yeah, it works out fine for us but it really depends of you and the situation you are in! Good luck!


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#5 of 10 Old 06-11-2013, 01:04 AM
 
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I went back to work about 10 hours after I gave birth at home...not because I wanted to, but because I went into labor 10 days early and had clients I needed to contact...it's pretty stinkola.  But that being said, I feel a little guilty about how nice it sometimes can be to say, "see ya later, suckas!" and go to work when the baby is teething and the toddler is pouting and I know I'll be home around bedtime and everyone will be glad to see me. =)  It's definitely hard, but there are silver linings.

 

In terms of jobs to look for, I would definitely look into part-time work that you can arrange around your partner's schedule, if at all possible - waiting tables, coffee barista, tutor...  Without that kind of flexibility (and if you choose to BF, the ability to pump on breaks/between clients makes BFing possible), it can start to become cost-prohibitive to pay for daycare.  My DH works 4 am - noon or 7 am-3 pm depending on the day, and I usually work 2 pm - 10 pm, so we only need to hire a sitter for 2 hours a day on the days our schedules don't mesh.  Not only is it a big cost savings, it makes it easier knowing that DH is home with the kids instead of being in day care.  But we have that luxury....
 

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#6 of 10 Old 06-13-2013, 07:59 PM
 
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This is my second day back from maternity leave and I didn't expect to have such separation anxiety.  I'm a sentimental person and baby is 3 mo's old in a home daycare setting mostly sitting in a chair not being held.  That's the nature of daycare.  He is usually energetic and talkative (making noises) but is quiet when I pick him up.  Part of it is your temperament--it might take a while for you to adjust being back at work.  Part of it is baby's temperament (high needs, etc). 

 

I work 3 days and telework 2 days.  That's helped a bit.  On the first day, the coworkers wanted to talk about the baby and look at pictures all day when I wanted to not focus on the fact that we were apart, lol.  So that was an adjustment.  Plus the round-the-clock pumping made the day go by.  People say it just takes time getting used to it. 

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#7 of 10 Old 06-17-2013, 08:38 AM
 
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I went back to work when my daughter was two months, but it was the end of November so my husband and I took a couple of days of extra leave each week so she wasn't in daycare full time until January. And we had two full weeks off over the Holidays. We did have to pay for full time daycare though, but it was worth it to make the transition easy. Even now I work full time but am able to go nurse her at lunches! This little visit helps me a lot, even if she is not very hungry its nice being able to cuddle or to play. I think she likes the one-on-one time at daycare, and seeing her mama! Somedays (Mondays) are especially difficult being at work, but I try to schedule little "stay-cations" once a month to hang out with her.
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#8 of 10 Old 06-29-2013, 10:02 AM
 
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I had to go back after 12 weeks.  It definitely sucked, but not as bad as it would have any earlier.  Thankfully, I was a teacher, so after about 3 months, it was time for summer vacation, so then I was able to stay home again for awhile.

 

I don't know if you're breastfeeding or not, but I was able to keep going until DS was about 12 months old while working full-time.  Luckily I had a really good situation/space where I could pump at work.  I also noticed that DS started doing the reverse cycling thing (taking looooong naps at daycare and feeding a lot more at night).  Although the lack of sleep was hard, it was actually kind of nice to have all that snuggle time at night to make up for what I was missing out on during the day. 

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#9 of 10 Old 06-30-2013, 08:51 AM
 
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I've been asking my friends around here the same thing, and I can say that emotionally, it really depends on the woman, and her line of work. I don't think anyone else's experience can predict yours, but I think it helps to see what's possible. 

 

I've met women who loved their jobs and made lots of money who never went back to work because family fulfilled them more, women who loved their jobs and make little money who couldn't survive without their work duties and needed to work to feel complete, one who even LOST money on daycare and didn't care, and women who hated their jobs and were thrilled to never return, and the worst case scenario (IMO) women who hated their jobs but made lots of money and felt obligated to go back to work to maintain that lifestyle. 

 

Then, I know many women for whom it was not a question at all. Their jobs are simply not satisfying enough to call them back and/or they didn't make enough money at them for the option to be worth anything. That's me right now, though I will be back to working towards a teaching certificate once my baby is 6/mo. 


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#10 of 10 Old 07-03-2013, 05:25 AM
 
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try finding a work at home job.  I've been working from home since my second daughter and it's working well for me and my kids, I don't earn much but enough to supplement our daily needs. The fact that I personally take care of kids means so much to me.  I'm sure in due time you will figure something out.  Making money for yourself is a great confidence booster.

 

Take care!

 

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