What position and chair for sitting with your baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-28-2013, 02:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I know this sounds like an odd question, for something so simple.


I have a bad back, so that is a separate issue, but we are working on it (getting orthotics, re-using the crocs I stopped using, standing on mats instead of hard surfaces, etc).


My dear son is 4 weeks old, and I still haven't really found the perfect way to sit with him, to chill and bond. Right now my nursing chair is the Ikea Poang, which reclines me back somewhat, and "bounces" a little. It is "okay" in terms of comfort for me, but I think we are going to break down and go get a glider from Babies R Us soon, for nursing.


After nursing, once I get up from that chair, which I am eager to do since it's not the most comfortable, I find myself carrying him around the house (normally in the froggy position against my chest), looking for somewhere to plop myself down that's comfy, but finding nothing. :( I really just want somewhere to sit comfortably, to look into his eyes, and talk to him, that doesn't put much strain on any part of my body.....and a position to hold him that also doesn't put much strain anywhere. We just replaced a couch, and I'm not a fan of the new couch either. I find myself wondering where most women sit, just to rock/hold their baby. Is it your glider? Or somewhere else? And do you hold the baby in the cradle position, cross cradle, against your chest, etc???


When my mother in law was here, she would just sit at the kitchen table with him, and hold him while eating.....and I marveled at how she had the arm strength and overall energy to do that! She was using a cradle hold, with baby's head in the nook of her elbow. No armrests. She would also sit on the floor and use her laptop, and just hold him like that while using her laptop with one hand. I can't hold him in a wooden chair for more than a few minutes before I'm too tired (back or arms) and need to put him down. Same with just sitting on the floor like that....I just start to figit, and the weight bothers me. Am I just weak? What do YOU do????

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#2 of 11 Old 06-28-2013, 02:50 PM
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I didn't have the problem of getting tired and uncomfortable so quickly with my daughter. To carry her around the house or hold her while I was eating, I would just do what it sounds like your MIL was doing. If that is too hard, I sometimes used my moby wrap and just wore her while I did stuff around my house. I usually sat on my couch with my daughter, but a friend of mine has a really nice glider that I loved to sit in when I was at her house. For baby #2 I am definitely going to invest in one. I am sorry I can't be of more help. Those first few months are the hardest!

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#3 of 11 Old 06-28-2013, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks! I am starting to think it's just me.....I think the main problem is my back, when trying to hold him....my arms might be okay if my back could support his weight more. I dunno what to do. :( I feel like it's affecting how much time I spend bonding with him. My back starts killing me, so I have to put him in his crib or his bouncy seat, but it breaks my heart to do that. :( He doesn't like it either. :(


I have an Ergo but haven't started using it yet. I have the infant insert too, but haven't tried it....just been too tired. Hubby tried it and decided he was worried about the baby's neck, and/or the baby not breathing in there. I don't think I can sit while wearing him in that? Or can you? If I knew i could sit while using it, I might try it. I am actually having too much back pain to stand much, so it's gotta be sitting or laying.


Right now, I put him in his crib to give my back a break, so anything has got to be better than that.

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#4 of 11 Old 06-28-2013, 11:08 PM
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I'm so sorry! That sounds so frustrating. I can say that at four weeks postpartum, I was really not up for anything that took strength or stamina, so I don't think you're weak at all! I have a three year old girl and a six month old boy. With my little girl, when she was a newborn, I mostly sat in our recliner that also rocked when the foot rest was down. We would nurse, and then she'd drift off to sleep, and I just let her sleep in my arms. She was either nursing, or sitting in the crook of my arm facing out. We spent a serious amount of time in that recliner. It was the most comfortable recliner I've ever sat in (I thought it was more comfortable than a glider). My parents owned it, and then gave it to us when I raved about how it was the only thing I could sit down in comfortably while pregnant (I had major back pain while pregnant!). After the first three months, she was ready to spend most of her time on the floor rolling around from toy to toy, so I didn't do as much sitting except to nurse. When she wasn't playing or nursing, I was wearing her, and I don't think there is a single carrier/wrap that you can use that is truly comfortable to sit in (for you or baby). I could be wrong, but that has definitely been my experience with everything that I've tried (woven wrap, mei tei, ergo). If the baby was asleep, I could sit down and try not to wake them up, but it was never very comfortable to me.


With my little boy, he will not let me sit down. From the day he was born, he wanted me to be standing up and bouncing. I still can't sit with him. I can't even nurse him sitting down without him arching his back and screaming! I have now mastered the art of nursing while standing, but in those early days, I just laid down with him to nurse. If I wanted to be comfortable and stare into his precious face, I either laid down on the couch with my back toward the back of the couch and him nestled into the crook of my outside arm, or I laid down on the bed with him.


If your son has no problems with you sitting down with him, then I would totally invest in a real recliner or glider. I would say to definitely take the baby, and go try out some comfy chairs- whatever you can sit with him in for a while without getting uncomfortable. I like my recliner better than a glider because when you reclined in it there was serious lumbar support unlike the gliders I've sat it in, and it was big enough for DH too. But I'm sure it would be totally personal choice as to which is more comfortable!


I hope you can figure something out soon! You still need to be doing as much bonding as possible and soaking in all the newborn goodness!

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#5 of 11 Old 06-28-2013, 11:17 PM
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Do you have a nursing pillow? It really helped me with holding the kids even while not nursing. Dh used it too. Helped take pressure off my neck and back.

Good luck.

SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)

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#6 of 11 Old 06-28-2013, 11:18 PM
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I say go get a rocker/recliner like, now! I did the couch for a long time (seemed like it, probably around 3mo) and was terribly uncomfy nursing and just sitting. I had some tailbone pain from the epidural I didn't want and lots of back pain and was very sore and swollen from the pitocin, so I had trouble getting comfortable just like you.

I broke out the old recliner I got off Craigslist for "nursing" and because I liked it. The thing made ALL the difference. I used it up until we moved and my husband insisted we toss it. I used to sleep in it everyday when DD went through her "Velcro" days and it was great. I miss it.

I told him pretty much the instant I became pregnant this time, that I'd be getting another recliner. They have recliners that rock now and you can get for around $200 at LivingSpaces, Ashley furniture etc.

Edit: I love my boppy! I still use it with my 3yo! This time I'm buying a really good pillow called Luna Baby Blossom. It's a bit pricey but I used one to nurse DD at a baby shop and fell in love! Now I have an excuse to buy it with #2 coming in Sept.

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#7 of 11 Old 06-30-2013, 07:56 AM
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A cheap thing to try with little risk would be a big exercise ball. They are like $20, and if you hate it, deflate it and pass it on.


I've been told by lots of women that it was their preferred chair for cuddling and bouncing. I consider ours the most comfortable seat in the house now, at 36 weeks. Recliners and couches encourage so much slumping that I can't breathe with how high this baby is :). 

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#8 of 11 Old 06-30-2013, 08:40 AM
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Ah, sweet mama. Sorry for your conundrum. My favorite gazing and chilling position was on the bed, actually. Also, an ottoman with your couch or poang could help. I found using my bent legs to prop up babies have us great face time with a break for my arms/back/ neck. Yoga ball was great for bouncing a sad babe, and gliders are heavenly, though ugly as sin. smile.gif. Good luck!
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#9 of 11 Old 07-05-2013, 11:26 AM
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Yes, get a recliner!  We lived in ours for almost a year, including many nights.  I would wedge a buckwheat pillow tightly under my elbow, so I could cradle-hold her and totally relax my arm and body (and even sleep) without any chance of moving or dropping her.  When she was super tiny, DH and I both spent many hours in the recliner with our knees up, and baby propped on our laps so we could gaze at each other.


The exercise ball is a close second - I spent lots of time bouncing while she slept on my chest in the Moby, but it was hard on my back.

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#10 of 11 Old 07-07-2013, 10:39 PM
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A recliner always worked best for me for the first couple of months.  After that it didn't seem to matter so much.

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#11 of 11 Old 07-25-2013, 09:12 AM - Thread Starter
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This advice was all great, and made me feel not-so-strange! Thank you!!! I typed up a really long reply, and it got deleted because my computer restarted or something..... :(  Got frustrated! Anyways, thank you so much.

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