We thought our 8 week old baby had colic, or some sort of digestive issue. About 30 minutes after a feeding (keep in mind that sometimes I feed him for up to an hour because he'll doze at the breast, I'll burp him, change him, walk with him, then feed some more)....anyways, 30 minutes after this, or sometimes even right after, he would get really fussy and cry inconsolably. We couldn't comfort him by holding him, unless we were walking with him and he could look at things, but that seemed to only put a Bandaid on his crying/wiggling/figiting. We couldn't just hold him in a rocker to calm him, in any position, he would wiggle and cry. When we'd lay him on the floor, he would figit like he has gas.
Anyways, I finally have relented and started laying him in his crib. It seems like what you shouldn't do..... when they are crying hysterically and wiggling.....he is clearly not tired, I thought. Most of the time, no yawning or eye rubbing. Just an unhappy baby who figits. I thought, he must be uncomfortable. He must need me (note that I wasn't wearing him, see below).
Well, it seems like he needs the opposite of me? Because I discovered that when I lay him in his crib, on his tummy (took me awhile to have the courage to do that, but discovered on accident that he likes it)......he is quiet in about 1 minute flat, once I walk out of the room. And sometimes he just lays there awake, or with eyes a little droopy, but quiets right down.
I think he was just in need of a nap, all those times? And was overstimulated? It is all coming back to me now.....all the things I've heard and read about one reason for crying being "they need a nap," or "overstimulated." I guess I never thought my QUIET house (no other people, no TV), with zen, minimalist home decor....scarcely even a pattern.... was overstimulating to him.
We weren't using a sling or babywearing.There is a possibility that he would have fallen asleep in a sling, but we hadn't gotten one yet, because of my bad back. But logic would have told me that if he doesn't want to sleep in my arms, a carrier wouldn't help. Can a sling or other unstructured fabric carrier be better for these situations vs trying to hold a baby that doesn't want to be held? Or should I just leave the issue alone, and let him have the crib, every hour and a half?
I know he loves me; he smiles at me when I get him up from sleeping, and when I change his diaper. But maybe I just need to accept that he needs his alone time, to either zone out or sleep. He doesn't want me talking to him all the time. I don't need to be trying to get him to smile an hour after his feeding. Thoughts?
Babies go through so many changes (sleep regressions, separation anxiety, etc.) that this might not last long and he'll want to be held. Or this might just be his personality. It's hard to tell at this age. I say go with it until it's not working and then look for a new solution. That's parenting in a nutshell.
Mama to my beautiful Ana Carolina (2/07), Isabel Cristina (6/10), and #3 on the way in August 2013!
Haha, you are so right! I kinda had that thought after posting this......that that's him today, we'll see later on. :) Yeah, I need to go with the flow...... I am very grateful I can put him down somewhere and take a shower!
My cousin's daughter was like this since birth. If they didn't give her alone time then she would become inconsolable. Some children need to recharge by themselves.
SAHM to DS BuggaBoo 12/07, and DD Doozer 03/10. Sharing life with The Hubby since 01/05.
I'm expecting, no kiddo yet, but I wanted to pipe in and say that I've been reading lots of Montessori/RIE resources on babycare in preparation for my wee one (rather than exclusively AP books), and all those folks emphasize that that sort of behavior is totally normal. They rather focus on encouraging it, actually. The idea is that babies need independent wiggle room to explore their bodies and figure themselves out. So if you want to be a Montessori mom, you're ahead of the curve!
I think perceptions of normal are easily skewed by what we read --- given MY reading, I probably now expect my babe to be more independent than s/he well be! Just wanted to bring that point up.
Mine does too. I think she feels more secure and I think it is more restful for her because I find if hard to just hold her for any length of time so I'm always shifting her around. Also, when she's in the carrier I sort of forget she's there and just get on with my jobs so that may be less stimulating than when I am focused on her.
Every baby is different but I would still give the carrier a try if you want to.
Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012
My son is 4 months old and he is very independent sleeper from the start. He needs his crib. He has gotten more comfortable in the carriers within the past 2 to 3 weeks. I have a Babyhawk mei tai and a Storch wrap. If we are home and he gets fussy, I put him right in his crib and he calms down and goes to sleep. If we are out and about, he will not settle down properly, until we reach home and he's in his crib. The handful of times he slept in our bed, he tossed and turned and slept terribly.
This is the complete opposite of our 5 year old daughter. She still sleeps in the bed with us. As a baby, she was so comfortable being worn, that I thought she was literally attached to me. She would not sleep in her crib. She was perfectly content to be in her carrier and would sleep anywhere.
My son has been a huge learning curve for me to go with the flow. He just so incredibly different from my daughter, yet I see him changing all the time. Good luck Mama. You're doing an excellent job.