How has your parenting changed with a second baby? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 11-17-2013, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
SplashingPuddle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am often surprised how differently I am parenting my second baby, who is now 6 months. I wear her a lot less, because I am more tired, but also because I own a high chair this time around and it is a great place for her to observe me at work in the kitchen (and save my back).  Because I cannot always respond as quickly, she cries more (for a few minutes sometimes), but also has so many more self-soothing abilities. She can entertain herself happily in her crib and fall asleep on her own (unheard of for my oldest).  While it may sound like I am moving away from AP parenting, I think it is more that I have to accept compromises.  Sometimes this makes me feel guilty.  But I am wondering if she is all around an easier, better sleeper because of it? 

 

Have others noticed changes in their parenting? 

Blanca78 likes this.
SplashingPuddle is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 11-19-2013, 05:37 PM
 
vegrunr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 195
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My 2nd is only 7 weeks but I notice quite a few differences.  He can also be put down awake but tired and fall asleep, whereas my first would sometimes take hours to fall asleep!  He naps in the bassinet, not in my arms.  I do wear him a good amount still because my older one is 3 so it is nice to have hands-free when reigning in a toddler : )  I do tend to lay him on the floor more often and he enjoys watching his brother and I play.  I also don't feel like I constantly have to be entertaining or interacting with him which I did for my first. I have learned that it is okay not to be holding/nursing/laying with baby all the time.  I got very burnt out with my first and did not want to go down the same path.  I think I am more accepting of my needs this time around. 

Blanca78 likes this.
vegrunr is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 11-21-2013, 06:29 AM
 
kanani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 67
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

subbing ... i'm due with #2 in a few weeks, and have been wondering how things will be different this time around. it is a bit hard for me to imagine how life will change this time around, so i'm looking forward to hearing what others say.

kanani is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 11-23-2013, 07:31 AM
 
crunchymama19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 495
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by vegrunr View Post
 

My 2nd is only 7 weeks but I notice quite a few differences.  He can also be put down awake but tired and fall asleep, whereas my first would sometimes take hours to fall asleep!  He naps in the bassinet, not in my arms.  I do wear him a good amount still because my older one is 3 so it is nice to have hands-free when reigning in a toddler : )  I do tend to lay him on the floor more often and he enjoys watching his brother and I play.  I also don't feel like I constantly have to be entertaining or interacting with him which I did for my first. I have learned that it is okay not to be holding/nursing/laying with baby all the time.  I got very burnt out with my first and did not want to go down the same path.  I think I am more accepting of my needs this time around.

:yeah

 

And now that I am on #3 I find this even more so. And I don't feel guilty, it is just our reality right now with 3!


Granola-ey, crunchy, marathoning, natural living Christian mamatreehugger.gif down south with DHguitar.gif and DD1 (6)dust.gif, DD2 (2)energy.gif, and DD3 babygirl.gif.    homebirth.jpgwinner.jpgcd.giffemalesling.GIFgoorganic.jpghomeschool.gif
crunchymama19 is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 11-26-2013, 11:09 PM
 
expat-mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: no where/now here: Persian Gulf
Posts: 1,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SplashingPuddle View Post
 

I am often surprised how differently I am parenting my second baby, who is now 6 months. I wear her a lot less, because I am more tired, but also because I own a high chair this time around and it is a great place for her to observe me at work in the kitchen (and save my back).  Because I cannot always respond as quickly, she cries more (for a few minutes sometimes), but also has so many more self-soothing abilities. She can entertain herself happily in her crib and fall asleep on her own (unheard of for my oldest).  While it may sound like I am moving away from AP parenting, I think it is more that I have to accept compromises.  Sometimes this makes me feel guilty.  But I am wondering if she is all around an easier, better sleeper because of it? 

 

Have others noticed changes in their parenting? 

This EXACTLY. My experience has been exactly the same pretty much. It is so much harder with two, but without so much time and energy to shower on DD, she has become so independent in some ways. And YES, definitely such a better sleeper!!!

I sometimes feel guilty too, but this is just the way it goes I think. I haven't been able to be so anal about all my parenting stuff with DD and I think it's good for me too and maybe good for her after all. DD ate solids a smidge before 6 months because I was too busy to notice that she had grabbed some mashed sweet potato and had shoved it happily into her mouth. She has had way more bottles of pumped milk than DS ever had. Spends a lot more time entertaining herself (luckily she has DS to watch, which she does like a hawk) and yep, puts herself to sleep with even a little fussing beforehand. She sleeps in her own room in a crib- I thought she might sleep better that way and I was right! With DS I never would have tried it. And DS just finally started going to sleep by himself, in his room, and sleeping by himself all night.  She actually soothes herself with a lovey which we could never get DS to take to- he was strictly soothed by the boob and only the boob! And yeah, she is not so huge on nursing for comfort, she's all business when it comes to breastfeeding. 

 

I'm different with number 2, and she is different too. I'm glad to have two such distinct experiences. This time I feel things are easier and I'm more flexible.

Blanca78 likes this.

Me dreads.gif 32, loving him fuzmalesling.gif33, more each day. Rad boy, jog.gif 7/12/10 & Cool gal baby.gif  4/28/13

I'm a biracial, atheist, humanist, pacifist, anarchist, bibliophile, and educator. Rainbow.gifgd.gifwinner.jpgnocirc.gif

expat-mama is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 11-28-2013, 09:17 AM
 
MaggieLC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My kids have radically different personalities and had different temperaments as babies. I was more relaxed with my second and a lot more relaxed with my third. I found I had more energy with the two kids I had in my 20s, but I had more patience with the baby I had in my late 30s.

 

When Baby 3 was about 4 months old, I was holding her and she dropped the teething toy she was playing with. I picked it up and wiped it on my jeans and gave it back to her. My mother saw this and said, "It's obviously your third or later baby. I sterilized everything that went in your mouth when you were a baby." I vaguely remember sterilizing things with my first, and did so with my third when we had thrush, but I was a lot more relaxed with each child. You learn children are very sturdy.

 

I found my commitment to AP stronger with each child. I carried all my kids a lot, but I wore my third almost constantly and she nursed for 4.5 years. Of course, her personality and personal needs also played into that. All my children are really independent as older children and adults, with my most colicky baby the most independent. The middle one slept with us the longest, but that's her personality, she's a snuggler.


Attachment Parenting: The radical notion that children are human. bfinfant.gif
MaggieLC is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off