Help! SAHM with 5 month old. Every day is the same. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 15 Old 02-13-2014, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My baby boy and are I dying of boredom! We need help! 

 

I'm a first time, SAHM to a beautiful 5 month old boy. I used to work from home so I'm used to being a home body... but now that baby is here, I found it's impossible to keep working. He whines, cries, and fusses ALL DAY LONG. If we go out on an errand, he is calm and happy, but if we are at home (like right now), I am doomed to listen to him fuss and cry and there is absolutely nothing I can do to comfort or distract him. 

 

Every day is the same for me now. Wake up in the morning and pray he'll sleep a little longer. Scramble to eat breakfast before he wakes up. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, and remember to brush my teeth because I realize it's been 3 days since the last time I did. Beg and plead with him to take even just a 30 minute nap so I can stop panicking. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't, but he still wakes up crying. 

 

I'm not a single parent. My husband works a regular day shift and is home every evening. I also have a 9 year old stepson who is here half the time. I do occasionally get small amounts of time to myself in the evening, but that usually gets spent cleaning the cat litter box, cooking dinner, taking a shower, or some other chore. There is nothing wrong with my baby medically. He is healthy and strong. We cosleep, EBF, babywear, and he is an absolutely charmer every time we step out of the front door. But there aren't enough "errands" to keep us busy outside the house all day every day, and it's still very cold so "going for a walk" is not an option, at least not for the next several weeks. And I feel like I won't make it that long without coming completely unglued. I feel unglued already. 

 

What can I do? Each new day that looks like the last makes me want to tear out my hair even more. I'm starting to resent my son. I love him so much but he is such a source of stress for me. I really don't know what else to do right now.

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#2 of 15 Old 02-13-2014, 02:57 PM
 
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Yes, it sounds like you need some variety. Yes, too bad it is cold outside and cannot go for a walk. Humm, do you two have a reading time? Can you go to the library and get some cool touchy feel books for him? How about tummy time? Does he have a small spot in the house where you can out him down but is colorful with many sounds like bells to keep him stimulated? How about putting him in the high chair and talk to him while you are cooking? Or give him a sensory bin to play with in the high chair? How about lotion time with a massage( for him, sorry) how about singing songs. The internet is a great place for finding music. We really like charlie hope and the album alpha butt by kim ya Dawson.
Hugs to you mama!!!
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#3 of 15 Old 02-13-2014, 03:56 PM
 
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Are there any baby play places where you live like Gymboree or something like that? That could be fun. Do you belong to any new parent groups or playgroups? There are usually ways to find local groups where new moms meet up with their babies. I did one through my health care system. It meets once a week to talk about baby stuff and then they go out to lunch. It saved my sanity in the early months. I always hear people mention the website meetup to find groups. I'm also part of a Facebook group of local parents and people will post that they're going to the park or a children's museum and ask people to join them. Since you live somewhere with bad weather at the moment, perhaps folks could meet at a mall and walk around or something like that. Good luck!



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#4 of 15 Old 02-13-2014, 04:22 PM
 
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I am a SAHM to my first, as well. He is 8.5 months. We go to "mommy and me" once a week, which really breaks up the week. He loves it! It is a little pricey, but I have finally convinced myself that it's worth it. It then motivates me to get out even more.

 

Babies can sense when you are bored. So that is probably adding fuel to the fire. If you are bored, they can read it on your face, because they are very good at reading facial expressions!!! (ever seen how good they are at mimicing them?)  Have you ever hung out with someone who is bored? It's boring! :) So my advice, above all, is to find things that YOU enjoy. Don't go to a baby class that bores YOU. Don't listen to baby CD's that bore YOU. Don't play with baby toys that bore YOU. Find ones you like to play with.

 

Babies get stir crazy, just like adults. They need to get out. I would say, get out as much as you can. I like taking DS to the grocery store, one that has fun things like a coffee shop inside. Some Targets have this too. Our cart cover has opened up a whole new world to me! So work on those "sitting up" skills, to make that happen. :) Ours is just a cheap Infantino brand one. I thought he would squirm, but he LOVED being in the cart. There were so many people to look at, and the produce section...the aisles....he was in heaven. It may be another month before you can really embrace that phase, but get ready for it! :)

 

Aside from that, join a Mommy and Me class. :) Forget meetup....it's too incosistent, my opinion.

 

Things will get better soon. This phase is a lot easier, once they move more. 

 

The other thing, once spring comes, put them in an outward facing carrier like the Beco to touch plants and such in the yard or sidewalk. Take them outside on a blanket. Don't watch the clock for naps.......it's hard, but just embrace it. Lay on the floor and let them crawl all over you.....just sit back and observe them as they tinker. It gets a lot better.....

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#5 of 15 Old 02-13-2014, 04:37 PM
 
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When my LO was that old meetup.com saved my life ha!  I found a group of mamas with similar parenting style and went on playdates, hikes, story time at the library ect.  My daughter tended to be happier when we were out and lets be honest I was happier when I had some adult interaction.  Having a supportive mama network makes being a SAHM so much nicer.  I have since moved out of state and I haven't found the same level of connection, and it totally bums me out.


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#6 of 15 Old 02-13-2014, 04:59 PM
 
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My DD is older but we sign up for free programs at the library. Actually they have cool things for the under-12-months crowd that I hope I can take with the new baby like "musical babies" and "storytime social" (part storytime, part playtime and socializing with other parents). Another thing we did previously (that frankly was more fun with a baby than with a toddler) is swimming class. DD was your son's age when it was summertime so I used to wear her in the sling and go to the library, pick up a book or magazine, and walk home. She'd often fall asleep on the way home and I'd either try taking her out so I could nap too or just sit with her still in the sling in the glider and read my book. Many libraries have comfy chairs you can read in so you could drive there, walk him around till he snoozes, and plop yourself in a chair with some reading material. For that matter you could do this in a bookstore or at a mall too.

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#7 of 15 Old 02-14-2014, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the suggestions and support, mamas! 

 

I am definitely working to connect with other parents of littles in my area. I know it'll help me a lot to spend some time with other adults, and my son needs to spend more time around other small people too. :) We haven't had much luck finding an organized group or class but I know it'll get easier as the weather gets warmer! 

 

I'm really looking forward to taking him on walks, to the pool, the park, etc just as soon as we can go outside without getting frozen toes. :) As for finding more ways to entertain him at home, I'm still pretty stumped. I've tried most of the things you all have suggested and my poor little guy just doesn't bite. He is often tired/overtired from not sleeping enough at night or not napping enough, so I'm working on little ways to help him relax and get more rest, so he can be bright and cheery in his awake time... but I think he is still recovering from that 4 month sleep regression a bit, so I don't really expect the sleep thing to improve drastically for another couple of months. (We have the No Cry sleep books and the Happiest Baby sleep guide, etc.) 

 

Again, thank you so much! Sometimes it just helps a lot to be reminded that we are not the only ones dealing with this cabin fever boredom!! 

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#8 of 15 Old 02-14-2014, 10:21 AM
 
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Just wanted to remind you how very little 5 months still is. I know when my daughter was that age I didn't realize how little she'd still be able to do in terms of play. In retrospect, it would have helped me to get myself into a stronger routine back then. My daughter didn't require that, but I think a baby that age really thrives on following adult patterns. And I didn't really have any pattern for myself, so we just got bored! New mom group was really helpful, though. Have you tried La Leche League?
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#9 of 15 Old 02-14-2014, 12:27 PM
 
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Ladies - this is a great thread.  I will have a 5 month old at this time next year (1st time mom, 40yo).  I myself am going bonkers with the unrelenting winter so I can only imagine that compounded by trying to entertain a LO.  The info about having a routine, and all the mommy & me stuff is a huge relief to find.  I was really worried about cabin fever with a newborn.  THANK YOU.

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#10 of 15 Old 02-17-2014, 05:00 PM
 
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Just another voice saying you're not alone. I love my kids to pieces, but I'm not a "baby" person, so the first year is not my favorite. I really don't like to "play", talk, or sing cutesy--wootsie songs...all the things you're supposed to do with babies. Thankfully DS1 likes to entertain the baby and DS2 is pretty happy watching his antics, which takes the pressure off me to be "on" all the time.
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#11 of 15 Old 02-17-2014, 08:31 PM
 
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If your baby likes going out, go out! I live in northern Ontario so I know all about it being cold.

 

Things to do with your 5-month-old indoors:

--go to a coffee shop and order a latte and some cake. Sit and read as long as your baby feels like hanging out and making faces at people

--sign up for baby classes. Music with your baby, salsa babies, yoga with your baby, all sorts of crap for babies happens during the day

--go to libraries and museums. Chill out.

--local symphonies often have family or kid matinees! Babies love classical music!

 

You don't actually need friends with little kids the same age. I tried to make mom friends when I had a baby, but I didn't like anyone. I wanted my old, childless friends. So invite them along. Do you have any friends who are artists and have nothing to do all day? My musician friends were key in this stage. I would go to restaurants with them and have long lunches, ordering a good two glasses of wine. We would gossip and my son would nurse, chill out, fuss, be walked up and down the restaurant, etc. Restaurants are often pretty empty at, say 2 pm, and don't really care if you bring your kid and stay for hours.

 

I miss the baby stage, actually. While your son is still nursing, he's so damn portable, so go port him around! Obviously he is a social creature who does not like being at home.

 

I will also admit that I visited my workplace at least a few times a week while I was on mat leave, brought my baby, and watched everyone work. This may not be feasible for all workplaces.

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#12 of 15 Old 02-18-2014, 03:41 PM
 
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If you have a Y near you, they often provide a few hours of childcare a day while you can focus on yourself.  Also it's a good place to meet moms, read a book, work out... we make going there a part of our daily routine, it keeps me sane.  When babes is a bit older you can also probably swim with them there too, that's kind of fun.

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#13 of 15 Old 02-19-2014, 12:41 PM
 
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All of these are good ideas!

 

I'm also going a bit crazy staying home with my 6 month old. I can't wait for it to be warmer outside (also in Canada, :cold).

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#14 of 15 Old 02-20-2014, 10:13 PM
 
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I know someone who is training to become a post-pardom dula. Helping moms with this sort of thing! She has offered to come over to play with/care for baby so that I can get things done. I may take her up on that someday. Anyway, perhaps there is something like that near you that you can get connected with?


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#15 of 15 Old 02-21-2014, 05:08 PM
 
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Sign up for a Mommy & Me group- I did and it was the best money I've spent! Not only is it great to get out of the house but it is a wonderful place to get support and make new friendships. It's also so much fun to watch the babies grow together. The other moms and I usually meet in a park adjacent to where our class meets prior to class. I also found a mommy & me Pilates class, which is great! There are a lot of yoga classes like this I believe. It's nice to have a baby-friendly place where you feel comfortable stopping to nurse, change, soothe etc.

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