Getting LO to go to sleep - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 03-21-2014, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
htovjm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest, USA
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

DS2 is a great sleeper at two months old. He sleeps through the night and takes 3 hour naps during the day. It's getting him to sleep that is the major challenge. He seems to always get to the point of over-tiredness before he goes to sleep. I do everything to make him feel  comfortable for sleep as soon as I notice a tired sign: dark room, soft voices, singing, rocking or bouncing, dry diaper, burped, nursed, etc. He will get to the point where it seems obvious that he would like to nurse to sleep, but he will arch his back and scream at me when I offer. (This only happens when he is over-tired, otherwise he is a great nurser and gaining weight super well). I end up just holding him until the crying settles down and then he will nurse and pass out. (this can take an hour of off-and-on crying!) He always looks so desperate and tired at this point. Sometimes he will wake up after ten minutes and it will start over again.... It's very frustrating! This happens almost every time he needs to go to sleep.

 

I know there is the general fussiness all babies have to some degree for the first three months, and he definitely has that. Every morning and evening there is a frantic crying period he goes through for about 10-20 minutes. But it is not the same as this over-tired crying he does before sleep. Is it possible that he just NEEDS to cry before sleep and I am working too hard to keep him from doing that? Or am I missing something on how to soothe him down? It is really hard for me to handle the crying sometimes...I feel so down and tired all the time from trying to care for a toddler too.

 

I'm thinking already about cutting out dairy, but we are already a gluten-free family and I'm struggling with feeding myself as it is. I'm wondering if anyone else has had a baby like this and has some tips?

 

Thank you!


Happily married to DH 

Stay-at-home mama to DS1 (01/12) & DS2 (01/14)

htovjm is online now  
#2 of 8 Old 03-29-2014, 09:34 AM
 
HappyHappyMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,928
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 32 Post(s)

:Hug to you, OP. It looks like your post might have been missed so I'm bumping it up for attention. :bump: Anyone have a suggestion to share?


hh2.gif Head over to the Holiday Helper forum and be a part of this wonderful Mothering tradition! joy.gif

Wondering about Mothering in general? Check out Mothering's User Agreement! smile.gif

HappyHappyMommy is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 03-29-2014, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
htovjm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest, USA
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

thanks! I have read a few threads on babies fighting sleep, and it seems to be a temperament/personality type thing. He is very alert and loves any kind of stimulation, so I think he hates going to sleep. I'm reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth and I'm getting some insights on what to expect for wakefulness time and going-to-sleep timing. We don't do CIO/extinction, but the info is helpful all the same.

 

My challenge now is keeping the sleep environment NON-stimulating with a loud 2-year old when I'm home alone during the day!


Happily married to DH 

Stay-at-home mama to DS1 (01/12) & DS2 (01/14)

htovjm is online now  
#4 of 8 Old 03-29-2014, 09:29 PM
 
katelove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,780
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
Have you tried putting him to sleep *before* he shows signs of tiredness? Maybe he's not showing signs until he's already overtired. I'd maybe try an hour earlier than usual. So if he normally looks tired 3 hours after waking, trying putting him to sleep after two hours instead.

Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012  mdcblog5.gif

katelove is online now  
#5 of 8 Old 03-31-2014, 07:05 PM
 
TrishWSU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: WA
Posts: 2,118
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just read The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program (or something similar to that title) and it explains that our brains go through an active awake cycle that lasts 90 minutes. Young babies can usually only go through one of these 90 minute awake cycles before needing to sleep again. And it's so true, at least for my 3 month old. Once I started paying attention to her sleepy signals and how long she'd been awake I realized that she starts to get fussy right around the 80 minute mark. If I can get her in "napmode" (I give her a paci and bounce/jiggle/shhh her to sleep) she falls asleep with little fuss. If we go past the 90 minute mark it's very difficult to get her to go to sleep. It doesn't seem to matter how long she naps either. 30 minutes or 3 hours, she still gets tired again after 90 minutes.

So all that to say, maybe it will work to try to put him down before he seems tired. At first it felt weird to watch the clock, but once I realized her cycle it made things much easier.

Trish~mama to Kaelie 5/03 and Amelia 12/13, surro mama to Aidan 2/08 & Ellyss 6/09, 

TrishWSU is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 03-31-2014, 07:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
htovjm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest, USA
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Thank you for the replies, ladies. The info on the 90 minute awake cycle is especially helpful. I just started a sleep log today and no kidding, the only times he went down easy were when his awake time was exactly 90 minutes. The other two at a little over two hours included frantic crying/meltdowns.

 

Now, I was trying to keep his awake cycle short today after doing some reading but my MAJOR problem now is my 2 year old. He doesn't know the meaning of quiet and will blaze in the room going 90mph, making tons of noise and shock the baby out of drifting off to sleep (hence the longer awake cycles today). He also gets very "annoying/pushing my buttons" when I am paying so much attention to the baby at these times. I do try closing the door, but we have a small house and he is very loud. He is also a climber and there's just no way to baby proof everything in the house, so I'm not 100% comfortable leaving him on his own. He typically understands his boundaries, but I am still always on edge if the door is closed. How do you do it with a light sleeper and a two year old!? BTW, I do invest in my toddlers emotional cup every morning during nap-time and at any other opportunity, so I know he is getting at least SOME attention, even if it may not be what he has always been used to. He is also still nursing, and I know that helps as well.


Happily married to DH 

Stay-at-home mama to DS1 (01/12) & DS2 (01/14)

htovjm is online now  
#7 of 8 Old 04-02-2014, 10:44 AM
 
cileag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 603
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Google "Tension releaser vs. tension increaser".  There's a woman who runs the site, Ask Moxie, who has a theory that there are essentially two types of babies---those that release tension through crying or those that increase tension when crying.  Having had one of each, it has helped me quite a bit in creating a sleep rhythm.  My first nursed to sleep for over a year and would go quiet to screaming very quickly. My second would come off the breast to fuss herself to sleep.  She now goes down on her own, but would often have to fuss by herself in her crib to settle herself.  It was very unsettling to realize that but it helped so much to realize it was "a thing" and I was responding to her needs to help her sleep.  

Maybe it might help?


Mama to P. born at home 10/09, and W. born in the hospital 2/13

cileag is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 04-02-2014, 11:12 PM
 
faithrainbow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 146
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I discovered that my baby (now 11 weeks) actually gets tired before 90 minutes--she usually starts showing little signs around 45 minutes after waking up and if I start putting her to sleep then she'll drift off quite easily. If I am not able to put her down then, the process is much harder when we finally get to it. When I realized just how little she wants to be awake before sleeping again, almost all of her fussiness disappeared (except a little in the evening before going down for the night).

I don't have any great ideas for your toddler. Maybe set him up with a project he can do on his own (coloring? Looking at books?) before you head off with your babe? It probably won't keep him occupied the entire time, but it might help...or maybe sometimes he might be up for coming in the room and snuggling by your side while you nurse? I can understand being nervous about leaving him alone in the rest of the house for an extended period of time.
faithrainbow is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off