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#1 of 14 Old 06-01-2014, 03:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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New mom

Hi I'm kristie and I have a 2 week old baby girl Sophia my boyfriend is always at work and when he's home he's sleeping I have no family or friends to help. Feeling overwhelmed... Any advice?
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#2 of 14 Old 06-02-2014, 03:38 PM
 
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Hi Kristie! to Mothering and congratulations on your new baby!
Having a new baby can be exhausting and isolating. What helped me was going to a baby and me group that my hospital had. It was free and met once a week and we went out to lunch afterwards. Does your healthcare system have something like that? You could ask your doctor or midwife. If you are breastfeeding, you could also attend La Leche League meetings to meet other new moms. You can also look on the website meetup to find local groups. Where are you located?



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#3 of 14 Old 06-03-2014, 08:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kristie4502 View Post
Hi I'm kristie and I have a 2 week old baby girl Sophia my boyfriend is always at work and when he's home he's sleeping I have no family or friends to help. Feeling overwhelmed... Any advice?
Kristen, things will get better i felt the same way 3 months ago i was exhausted and didnt get much help at all, just keep praying god can hear you and wont give you anything you cant bare once you get into a routine things will work out. If you have to keep posting in this forum other mothers will keep you positive. Dont give up
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#4 of 14 Old 06-03-2014, 11:37 AM
 
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My husband worked and traveled a lot when my son was young. I went to La Leche League meetings (free), went to a sign language class with my son, went on walks, and frequented the neighborhood coffee house enough that we made friends with the older patrons and staff there. I found support in forums and facebook pages and started a playgroup with other moms that were acquaintences - I know one well enough to trade babysitting with her. You could look into if your area has a babysitting co-op. I was surprised how a neighbor watched my son once when I was sick. The local library might be a good free place to get a change of scenery and meet other parents. I tried to take naps and have water bottles and protien bars ready and always made extra leftovers when cooking. I found it helpful to use a baby carrier to mulit-task when he wanted to be held and also started a daily journal. There is help and support out there...congratulations on your little one and for reaching out!
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#5 of 14 Old 06-05-2014, 11:17 AM
 
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Right now you might not think that life will ever get any better but it does. What was the life saver for me was when I was able to get a schedule worked out with my son so I knew when he would go down for naps, when he was hungry etc. Once I had some sort of schedule it would schedule things like showers. :-)

This may also sound mean but as I left the doctors office she told me that no baby has ever died from crying. If you are hitting your limit and your baby is still crying and you don't know what to do walk away for a minute and leave him in his crib crying. Don't do that all day but take a minute breathe and then come back.

Hope that helps.
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#6 of 14 Old 06-08-2014, 11:32 PM
 
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Hi mama,
I feel for you. I have three (6, 4, and 1) and know that post-partum period well. When my first was little, everyone would say, "enjoy it, they get big fast".... But it sure didn't seem fast then. I remember a friend saying it would get better at 6 months, and thinking, " that's forever!!"... And I survived, and it did get easier at 6 months. And they do get big fast! Really BE with her now- she will be a fiesty teen before you know it and you'll wish she'd let you hold her like that.

I agree that they won't "die" from crying, and you have to just breathe sometimes (or cry with them)- but I have discovered that holding them all the time is the #1 way to fix any issue. That and staying hydrated if you're nursing (2-3 quarts water a day).
It might sound wild, but holding your baby just about constantly for the first 6 months, will make both of you happier and healthier. You'll start to know her rhythms and cues better and will be able to meet her needs better.
Sleep with your little one (the stats show it's totally safe unless you are drunk, on drugs, or really really overweight).

Let your boyfriend know that it makes a huge difference if he spends 20 mins at night rubbing your back and listening to you talk (about baby or whatever), and that it's important he be really mellow with you and baby for a few months (no fighting with you, etc). Also, if he can take the baby for 20-60 mins first thing in morning, so u can sleep in or shower. Guys need us to tell them what's up, what to do to help us. Let him know you need him and he will hopefully feel useful, protective...

This forum is a great place to stArr reaching out. And I ditto the la leche league recommendations.
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#7 of 14 Old 06-12-2014, 07:49 AM
 
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yes,I found it helpful to use a baby carrier to mulit-task when he wanted to be held and also started a daily journal. There is help and support out there...congratulations on your little one and for reaching out!thanks
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#8 of 14 Old 06-12-2014, 03:01 PM
 
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How are you doing, @Kristie4502 ?



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#9 of 14 Old 06-12-2014, 08:10 PM
 
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aww i know how you feel i am lucky to see my husband 1 day a week now due to work and i have 3 older kids and a 7 month old and he has been working like this since she was born so it is hard but it does get better once you get into a routine it will get alot better now i just go around and get everything done

happily in love with dh blowkiss.gif and raise my three jelly beansjumpers.gif and missing my  babies in heavenangel3.gifangel3.gifangel2.gifangel1.gifangel1.gifangel1.gif angel.gif we finely got are rainbow and me and her daddy are so glad are rainbow is here  born on 11/07/2013 
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#10 of 14 Old 06-13-2014, 11:30 AM
 
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congratulation for your baby Kristie4502

Josh a personal development coach , his focus on helping serial entrepreneur and start-ups with venture capital as well as strategic programs to grow their business.
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#11 of 14 Old 06-25-2014, 06:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sunshinerose888 View Post
Let your boyfriend know that it makes a huge difference if he spends 20 mins at night rubbing your back and listening to you talk (about baby or whatever), and that it's important he be really mellow with you and baby for a few months (no fighting with you, etc). Also, if he can take the baby for 20-60 mins first thing in morning, so u can sleep in or shower. Guys need us to tell them what's up, what to do to help us. Let him know you need him and he will hopefully feel useful, protective...
Definitely!

everybody needs a break sometimes and now having been on both sides of the breadwinner/primary parent fence, I totally get both sides. As primary parent you NEED just a bit of time off. even if it's only for a shower and/or nap. once daily would be fantastic if you can get it. (being in the low-income group and finding oneself working nearly 100% of the time can also make that a challenge but it's necessary to get any time you can however you can whether it's your boyfriend or neighbor or friend/family you can bribe into baby watching for a little bit.

Your boyfriend may also need you to insist on him taking baby for a little while to learn how to handle and care for a baby. Don't forget though, that he is a grownup, smart and capable. if he needs help even learning how to hold baby, support him in learning those basics and then make a point to let him make his own routine with baby. how he diapers or plays with baby will be different from yours and his own and don't forget that that's OK too. (granted if diapers are leaking, perhaps a little teamwork to troubleshoot that is in order but otherwise, he can figure it all out just as well as you can. (believe me, this is easier said than done so bears saying!)

The other thing to work on (if you're not already) is to shill and just go with the flow. you'll find your groove eventually!

Hope you're feeling a little better as of late! Welcome to the community! you've found a great place to hang out, ask for help, share challenges and joys!

Farming mama to DD1 (10/18/07), DD2 (10/3/09) who are always DS born 8.21.14 and wife to loving hubby (6/23/2007).
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#12 of 14 Old 06-26-2014, 07:39 AM
 
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Hi I'm kristie and I have a 2 week old baby girl Sophia my boyfriend is always at work and when he's home he's sleeping I have no family or friends to help. Feeling overwhelmed... Any advice?
congratulation on your baby! It is normal to feel overwhelmed, by try to get as much sleep as possible when your bf comes home and go out with your baby during the day to get some fresh air. Also try talking to your bf about your feelings
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#13 of 14 Old 07-02-2014, 12:42 AM
 
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Hi Kristie and welcome to the forums! I know how it feels. I felt just like that a while ago. Joining a group of local moms worked very well for me. And, very important, don't fall into feeling pity for yourself. It takes a lot of energy away. Hugs!
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#14 of 14 Old 07-08-2014, 04:52 PM
 
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Hi I'm kristie and I have a 2 week old baby girl Sophia my boyfriend is always at work and when he's home he's sleeping I have no family or friends to help. Feeling overwhelmed... Any advice?
Ahh....sorry to hear Kristie! My husband is gone a lot too at work for 14 hours a day :/

Then when he comes home, all he wants to do is sleep....

Have you tried to reach out to moms in your community to hang out with? Have you talked to your husband and let him know how you really feel?

~ I am obsessed with car seat safety and advice on the best car seats!

Love you all!!
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