I feel for you. I have three (6, 4, and 1) and know that post-partum period well. When my first was little, everyone would say, "enjoy it, they get big fast".... But it sure didn't seem fast then. I remember a friend saying it would get better at 6 months, and thinking, " that's forever!!"... And I survived, and it did get easier at 6 months. And they do get big fast! Really BE with her now- she will be a fiesty teen before you know it and you'll wish she'd let you hold her like that.
I agree that they won't "die" from crying, and you have to just breathe sometimes (or cry with them)- but I have discovered that holding them all the time is the #1
way to fix any issue. That and staying hydrated if you're nursing (2-3 quarts water a day).
It might sound wild, but holding your baby just about constantly for the first 6 months, will make both of you happier and healthier. You'll start to know her rhythms and cues better and will be able to meet her needs better.
Sleep with your little one (the stats show it's totally safe unless you are drunk, on drugs, or really really overweight).
Let your boyfriend know that it makes a huge difference if he spends 20 mins at night rubbing your back and listening to you talk (about baby or whatever), and that it's important he be really mellow with you and baby for a few months (no fighting with you, etc). Also, if he can take the baby for 20-60 mins first thing in morning, so u can sleep in or shower. Guys need us to tell them what's up, what to do to help us. Let him know you need him and he will hopefully feel useful, protective...
This forum is a great place to stArr reaching out. And I ditto the la leche league recommendations.