Does holding your baby ALWAYS soothe them, or are there times when it doesn't??!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-04-2014, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
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Does holding your baby ALWAYS soothe them, or are there times when it doesn't??!!

Hey there!

FTM here. I have a beautiful 2-month old dd that, besides from some bad bouts with acid reflux (under control with meds), is generally content and very alert! However, she is not always soothed by being held - in fact, sometimes she prefers being set into her swing or sat up on her boppy across from me looking into my eyes. My mother in law is visiting, and just said that ALL babies are soothed when held, and that there must be something wrong with her! She said that all of her children's bodies got nice and relaxed when held, while my dd's tends to tense up when held, especially if she is already fussy. Everywhere I read online, it mentions how holding your baby close, or picking them up, is soothing to them. My dd likes to be held close somtimes, especially when she is tired, but when she is fussy, it seems like holding her (various positions) just makes it worse, as she gets all tensed up and cries! Does anyone else have any experience with this? Is it true that your baby is ALWAYS soothed by being held??!!
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#2 of 11 Old 08-04-2014, 07:22 PM
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Babies are people and people are individuals. Sounds like you're doing a great job of reading Baby's cues!

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#3 of 11 Old 08-04-2014, 08:00 PM
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Some babies are overstimulated by being handled too much. I agree with pp- sounds like you are reading your baby well.
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#4 of 11 Old 08-04-2014, 08:11 PM
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My babies generally liked being held, except for those occasions when it wasn't what they wanted at all, and they acted like I was torturing them.

I agree that it sounds like you're doing a great job reading your girl's cues, and you should carry on.
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#5 of 11 Old 08-06-2014, 09:32 AM
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I have a 2 month old too! Also, 2 other kids. I think your MIL is over-generalizing in a way that is not at all accurate, especially for a 2 month old. My baby is also very happy and alert, but there are, of course, times when he's not. There is at least an hour total a day that I spend holding, bouncing, dancing, swaddling, un-swaddling, burping, changing, feeding, facing inward, facing outward, laying on back, laying on tummy, patting, rubbing, etc. During that time, he's almost impossible to soothe and I'm sometimes surprised by what calms him down. Like yesterday I bicycled his legs and grabbed his hands and crossed them over his body and he stopped screaming and laid calmly for 5 minutes. I think he's totally normal.

I can't wait for 3 months, because with my previous 2 kids, that was the age when I could almost always soothe them quickly and reliably (usually by holding). However, just being held in general wasn't enough because even at 3 months, I'd give them to someone else and they'd keep screaming. I think you're doing a great job!

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#6 of 11 Old 08-06-2014, 11:41 AM
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I agree with everyone else. There is no one soothing technique that works every single time. Babies are different. Do what works for you and ignore what other people say. Congratulations on your new baby!

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#7 of 11 Old 08-12-2014, 06:08 PM
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I would consider food intolerance especially if she's on reflux meds. Any red blotchy areas? Patches behind the ears or diaper rash?
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#8 of 11 Old 08-12-2014, 07:03 PM
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Agree with all the others - most of the time, for most babies holding them will be soothing. But some of the time, for some babies it won't work.

Some babies that don't like being held are easily overstimulated or particularly sensitive. Sometimes this is cause for concern but most times it's not.
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#9 of 11 Old 08-18-2014, 09:28 PM
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I've met a few babies like this. I had a friend whose baby fussed in arms and seemed calmer when put down to "kick it out." I also have another friend whose baby is colicky and nothing soothes her, not even snuggles. My own daughter went through a phase when she hated being cradled and began to resist rocking to sleep. I had to nurse her to sleep without even touching her and sneak off as slowly as possible!

I was os worried my baby would somehow miss out on some critical window of learning how nice cuddling is, but it was a needless worry. Eventually she began to like caresses and snuggles again, and now she is such a cuddle bunny!

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#10 of 11 Old 08-19-2014, 08:12 AM
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I think it's likely your MIL is remembering what she wants to remember. I think most babies sometimes just want to be put down and left alone and sometimes want to be held and sometimes are just miserable for no reason. Totally normal. Your MIL is kinda rude.
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#11 of 11 Old 08-20-2014, 06:46 PM
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I say do what makes your baby happy and that is all you need to worry about.

Sarah- sahm to a little boy and girl with a third blessing due in Feb.
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