What is wrong with my child???? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know if this is the right place to post this, so mods please feel free to move it.

I don't know what is wrong with my baby lately. She's been going through a phase that I can't leave the room or she cries. She just turned 6 months on the 21st of April. Now... I can't put her down... and everytime I hold her, she wants to nurse. But she's not really nursing... she'll nurse for a couple of minutes and then do that painful yank off thing, then return to nurse, etc. It's almost like she's seeking strictly comfort nursing.

She's been doing the same thing at night (the comfort nursing). Last night I counted and she woke up 18 times in 9 hours!!! This is the FOURTH night in a row that she's done this. I am a walking zombie.

I have nothing against comfort nursing, but my nipples are RAW from the sheer quantity lately.

She's been trying to get a tooth (a white bump in her gum) for 3 weeks now. But I find it hard to believe that a tooth would cause this "attachment" to mom lately.

I don't know what to do. I can't hold her all day long... I do have to go to the bathroom! I can't sling her anymore (she weighs too much and I have previous fractures to my back... it just doesn't work) I don't know what else to do....

Anyone else experience this? And any suggestions? She's so crabby because she's so exhausted.... but I just don't know what to do

: Karen, wife to my : Mad Scientist and mama to :Emma (10-21-03).
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#2 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 05:53 PM
 
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Well, I don't know about the nursing...but when you leave a room, she doesn't know where you are going and when you will be back. I'd have the same reaction if my child walked out the door without me - she may have some kind of plan, but I'd freak out and yell "Where are you going?! Wait for me!"

If you can't carry or sling her, maybe a stroller would work.
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#3 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 05:58 PM
 
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Believe it or not it probably is the tooth. My toddler went through a cranky, always want the pacifier, always scream if I left the room stage whenever she cut a new tooth and it took her forever for the tooth to break through also. I would just hold her all day and give her the pacifier at night but there were still nights we were up a lot. I have no advice, have you tried some hyland's tablets or motrin?
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#4 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 06:06 PM
 
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I don't think anything is wrong with her. I bet the nursing is cutting a tooth and the separation anxiety is just a little ahead of schedule. Most kids do that at 7-8 months I think. The fact that she's doing it now actually shows how smart she is! It is a survival lesson babies teach themselves. Things will get better. Separation anxiety waxes and wanes and teetch cut and then you get sleep for a week or so before the next tooth. You won't get more than you can handle.
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#5 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 06:11 PM
 
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My son started with the same behaviors at about that age. I kept telling myself it was one thing or another (his teething, a phase, a growth spurt, just normal attached-baby behavior, etc.) finally when it kept continuing month after month I just started thinking of him as having a high needs, fussy personality, which is a real shame now that I know what the real cause was. It wasn't until he was nearly two that a chiropractor diagnosed him with sensitivities to wheat and dairy -- and he's like a different child now. So while of course in your case it could be teething or some other phase, if it doesn't pass in another few weeks you might want to look into other causes. I really wish that I had done that much, much sooner.

Good luck!
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#6 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 07:58 PM
 
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I don't think there is anything wrong with her either. Unfortunately, there is likely much of this to come. I would suggest trying homeopathy for teething Oh, and chiroreactics really helped #3's fussiness, adjustments - but she had no allergies or food sensitivities. She had behavior like you are describing from 3-8 or 9 months old.
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#7 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 08:35 PM
 
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My story:

When my oldest was about your wee one's age, he was teething and I didn't sleep for days...it was really really tough. Along about the time I was ready to give up and after nights and nights of no sleep, one day, during the day, we both finally conked out cold. We were BOTH so very very exhausted. I had been praying over my son, asking that my hands would bring him comfort and healing and soothing energy; take away the pain so he could rest and me too.

Like I said, we both conked out. Before I knew it, I was dreaming. In my dream there was a bridge, over which I walked with my son in my arms. I watched the water and listened to it flow under the bridge...and it was very soothing to me. I began to feel better. And then there was a beautiful place....there were bushes and flowers and trees and it was so green.

Next thing, I saw was a bench, upon which I sat and held my son. I looked up, and saw my sister. Now at the time, in reality, my sister had been dead for about 5 years. She was ten years older than I and died when she was 27, of Hodgkin's disease.

But she was there and so beautiful and she took my son in her arms and held him and talked to him and he giggled and it was lovely. I was so very happy to see her and I never even thought to question her presence. Then she got a very strange look on her phase and even though she spoke, her lips never moved...and she told me how beautiful my son was, how good it was to see me, and that she had to go.

Next thing I knew I was looking down from the ceiling of our bedroom and I could see my son and myself sleeping passed out on our bed. Then it was like a blur...and I was in my body again- WHUMP! It felt just like that...like I jerked back into my body. I woke up of course and my son still slept. I burst into tears because I realized that my sister had come to me to help me...to lift the burden from me, even from beyond.

My son is now almost 24 and that was of course over 20 years ago now. But as I type my eyes brim up with tears because it was so clear and real and I will never forget it.

It was good that I woke up at the time because, soon there was knock at the door and it was my parents who had gone and gotten fresh apples and cider and were dropping some off to me and dh, who was working at the time overtime on a Saturday. I got to the door though still sobbing. I couldn't even speak I had been touched so deeply by what I had dreamed/experienced.

So, IceQueen, when you feel as if you can't handle it anymore....(and I do agree with those who feel it is the teething, because I remember such very very well, even the near biting and the tender nipples from that)....remember that you WILL eventually rest, and survive all this and more that you have not yet even begun to imagine, and it will be ok.

But also remember that with the end of teething and the continued growth and development of your wee one, you can't go back...and perhaps one day...when the wee one is older, you may wish you could go back. My babies are grown now...and while I might never want to go back to teething times...I would love a brief visit back to the nursey times, when life was simple and I could keep my wee ones safe.

Hugs and strength to you, Mama....
Joyce in the mts.

CD Labor/Postpartum (MSTM), Doula trainer (BAI), Midwifery Student/Apprentice, CPS Tech
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#8 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 08:50 PM
 
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I too think it is teething, she probably wants to nurse, but it hurts, and also, separation anxiety starts around 6 months... my son was just like what you describe and didn't stop until around 20 months or so...but still wouldn't let me leave the house w/out him until like 3 yrs or so!

My dd is also starting the sep. anx. but i can make her laugh from the other room, i just do what every funny sounds she laughs at while i'm peeing or whatever and i hear her stop moaning and start giggling... the entire time i'm away, i holler "CHLOE! MAMA'S RIGHT HERE, I'M JUST PEEING ON THE POTTY, I'LL BE THERE IN A SECOND...etc."

When i MUST get something done hands free, i put her in the high-chair and roll her right up to what i'm doing (such as dishes) and talk to her the entire time... it seems to work for me, but she has a very happy disposition...

Good luck! Sleep when she sleeps!!
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#9 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 09:12 PM
 
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Oh yes, we are there. We have actually been there for a while. Stella started that at about 2.5 months, very early, but I thought it was teething too. Now she is 5 months and teething is combined with separation anxiety and general high needs baby issues. Basically: I never put her down. She is in my arms during all waking hours and sleeps attached to me all night.

It's tiring, I know your nipples are killing you. I don't know what to tell you since you can't babywear anymore. Have you tried teething tablets or gel? Maybe even some Motrin?

I feel your pain, mama.

Amy: Certified Professional Midwife and mom to Max (11) and Stella (6).
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#10 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 09:34 PM
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Like the others have said, I think this is teething coupled with separation anxiety. It sounds so much like I went through with my first. There were days when I literally did not get even 5 minutes to myself.

My suggestion to you would be to put everything else on hold for now. Sleep whenever your baby sleeps. Try to nurse in bed with him. You might not be able to sleep, but you can at least be horizontal for a while. Also, enlist any help you can. Maybe they can play with the baby while you snooze on the couch. If you're still in the room, it might make it a little easier. Or, if that isn't possible, They can make food, do laundry, shopping, whatever. If you are alone and you need to go to the bathroom, maybe you can bring a bouncy seat, exersaucer, or some other baby containment device so your baby can still see you, but you can still have your hands.

Joyce in the mts. - your story was beautiful. It made me cry. And is the perfect reminder of "this too shall pass." I try to enjoy every moment I have with my precious babies. But I need reminders every once in a while. Thank you for sharing your reminder with us!


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#11 of 14 Old 05-10-2004, 09:57 PM
 
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I haven't read the other posts , but it is probably the tooth...actually for sure. We just came out of the exact same thing last month. Poor guy, he wanted to nurse for comfort so badly, but I think it was really painful and he couldn't understand why it didn't feel better like usual. Good grief, I thought I was gonna die! :LOL Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore from being so exhausted, his tooth came through, and it was over.
Also, the stranger anxiety thing was just kicking in as well, so I'm sure that didn't help much. A sling is really the best thing, I think that is what saved me, also dh took ds in the mornings for a couple of hours to give me uninterrupted sleep. YEY! In the words of my LLL leader...which I have grown to absolutely hate hearing :LOL "This too shall pass..." Ahhhh, but so true.
Hang on Mama! (where's the smiley "at the end of his rope" emoticon?)

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#12 of 14 Old 05-11-2004, 01:44 AM
 
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It sounds like totally normal separation anxiety stuff, especially if she's hitting a new milestone (like scooting around). It scares them to become independent and they need to know that you're still there for them always. It's hard though when you feel like you can't even pee. Also, I'm sure the teething has a lot to do with it too. She wants to nurse to comfort herself but then it makes more blood come to mouth so it hurts more, then they pull off and they end up nursing 1,000 times in one day. I won't go on and on but just know that all of this is normal. It will pass eventually. It comes and goes though w/teething and milestones etc. I'm sorry about your back. That definatley makes it harder. Good luck with everything.
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#13 of 14 Old 05-19-2004, 06:53 PM
 
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My dd did this for most all of her teeth! It really does sound like teeth. There are homeopathic remedies out there that could help her a bit if you need them.
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#14 of 14 Old 05-20-2004, 10:12 AM
 
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Joyce, I just wanted to say your story is beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.
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