I don't know what to do.
My baby's father and I have never had a great relationship. We are different in a lot of ways and used to have a lot of explosive fights. I have a lot of issues with anger and with handling emotions in general. He almost never shows emotion. Sometimes he looks and seems angry, but says he isn't. I'm not the only one to notice this. Sometimes someone will ask me why he's grumpy. It is embarrassing, quite honestly. I've asked him to try to seem less grumpy, but it never works. He says I try to change him by asking him to seem happy (as he says he is), or trying to get us to eat healthier as a family, or asking him to stop smoking.
We fought quite a bit while I was pregnant. I was so anxious about being good parents, and he just didn't seem to be getting it. I figured that it was easier for me as I was the one who was pregnant and that he would catch on after our son was born.
Well, the first couple of weeks after our son was born things were AMAZING. He was so helpful, so kind, and so loving towards me and our son. I felt so lucky and said so to him and to anyone who would listen. I was thrilled. But sure enough, as things tend to do, everything went back to normal. He went back to not being very helpful around the house, and we went back to fighting.
The fighting has been getting progressively worse. Tonight he ordered dinner for himself (I'm vegan and he's not, so I can't eat what he eats) and before I had finished feeding me and our 8mo SO was asking to go lay down. I still had to clean up, bathe our son, and get ready for bed. I got upset and we started fighting again. We fought all evening and now he's left. He doesn't drive so I guess he's just walking around. We are staying with my mom right now because our lease ended before we could find another suitable place. This puts a lot of stress on us, but I don't want to think that it's the only reason we are fighting. I feel like I hardly know him anymore. I want so badly to be a good mama, to demonstrate a healthy relationship, and show our son how to handle his emotions while still expressing them. And right now we are the opposite of good role models! It breaks my heart that our son hears us fighting, but it terrifies me that he might have a broken family. It even scares me to think I won't have more babies.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this relationship, if it's even fixable. Maybe we just aren't good together.
I have considered counselling, but it is expensive here and we don't have coverage. The ones that are covered by our province have a long waiting list.
Have you gotten through a difficult time with your partner? Did you end up going your separate ways?
Sorry for length. Thank you for reading.
My baby's father and I have never had a great relationship. We are different in a lot of ways and used to have a lot of explosive fights. I have a lot of issues with anger and with handling emotions in general. He almost never shows emotion. Sometimes he looks and seems angry, but says he isn't. I'm not the only one to notice this. Sometimes someone will ask me why he's grumpy. It is embarrassing, quite honestly. I've asked him to try to seem less grumpy, but it never works. He says I try to change him by asking him to seem happy (as he says he is), or trying to get us to eat healthier as a family, or asking him to stop smoking.
We fought quite a bit while I was pregnant. I was so anxious about being good parents, and he just didn't seem to be getting it. I figured that it was easier for me as I was the one who was pregnant and that he would catch on after our son was born.
Well, the first couple of weeks after our son was born things were AMAZING. He was so helpful, so kind, and so loving towards me and our son. I felt so lucky and said so to him and to anyone who would listen. I was thrilled. But sure enough, as things tend to do, everything went back to normal. He went back to not being very helpful around the house, and we went back to fighting.
The fighting has been getting progressively worse. Tonight he ordered dinner for himself (I'm vegan and he's not, so I can't eat what he eats) and before I had finished feeding me and our 8mo SO was asking to go lay down. I still had to clean up, bathe our son, and get ready for bed. I got upset and we started fighting again. We fought all evening and now he's left. He doesn't drive so I guess he's just walking around. We are staying with my mom right now because our lease ended before we could find another suitable place. This puts a lot of stress on us, but I don't want to think that it's the only reason we are fighting. I feel like I hardly know him anymore. I want so badly to be a good mama, to demonstrate a healthy relationship, and show our son how to handle his emotions while still expressing them. And right now we are the opposite of good role models! It breaks my heart that our son hears us fighting, but it terrifies me that he might have a broken family. It even scares me to think I won't have more babies.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this relationship, if it's even fixable. Maybe we just aren't good together.
I have considered counselling, but it is expensive here and we don't have coverage. The ones that are covered by our province have a long waiting list.
Have you gotten through a difficult time with your partner? Did you end up going your separate ways?
Sorry for length. Thank you for reading.