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Lucysmama's Avatar Lucysmama 05:14 PM 11-08-2004

Anyone wanna get personal??? Just curious if anyone has DTD yet! I messed around with dh last night, and it was nice. We almost felt like real people! Till Levi stared fussing and I leaked all over my shirt, that is.

blessed2bamommie's Avatar blessed2bamommie 05:34 PM 11-08-2004
Well, I'm already in the personal room....: KATIE! are you crazy! My *tail* ain't *even* right yet! :

matter of fact, its raw right now and yeah, I'd like dh to relieve me now so I can take a bath. (too late, he's at the hospital with ils.)
kraftykathy's Avatar kraftykathy 06:16 PM 11-08-2004
Wow, Katie, I'm impressed :LOL
I'm feeling pretty close to ready. I was still spotting lightly until a couple of days ago, so hopefully soon. Of course this baby is a clingon like my others, so I guess it will depend on this kiddo willingness to cooperate by sleeping without being attached to me for a little bit :LOL

Anyone else having spotting last longer than a couple of weeks?

I was so happy to hear that Ekathrina had her boy. I posted my congrats on the old thread. I think there is only 3 October mamas left over there!!!

Are any of you using chinese prefolds? Right now I'm using some contoured flats with whisper wraps, but these contoured flats are for newborns and Willow barely fits them. I need to keep my spending down and I was wondering whether I should get the infant size prefolds or the premiums? Guess I should post this at the diapering forum too, huh?

I think Willows cold is finally starting to get a bit better. It's hard listening to a newborn coughing and sounding flemmy and not being able to help her very much.

Willow has been smiling for awhile already! It's so sweet seeing those first smiles, I'd forgotten! Can't wait for the first laugh!
OakEmber's Avatar OakEmber 07:01 PM 11-08-2004
OMG No Katie....we haven't even thought about THAT yet :LOL Then again some of you have older babies than I do My bleeding had pretty much stopped until I over did things this weekend and now it's picked up again. Kathy, I haven't passed the couple of weeks mark yet but I know my bleeding continued a long time with Ember (like nearly 8 weeks!). And I have been using infant chinese prefolds a bit, they seem pretty darn big yet on Oakley but with the bikini twist they seem to fit pretty well.

So I've been feeling really great up until now, and I had my first postbaby cry yesterday (not much of one). I think I just overdid it this weekend with Ember's birthday party on Sat. and a shower for us on Sun. I was feeling really anxious and worried about Oakley, once because his eyes looked funny to me (I think just because they are lightening up) and once because get this, he was so content and mellow that I was worried there was something wrong, :LOL. So, can baby blues/ PP appear in that form (anxiety) or I am wondering if it is from the birth, I don't remember really worrying like that about Ember and it seems like it would be more of a first time mom thing so it seems weird to me that I have been feeling like that?? I have been really having a time with Ember too, feeling really frustrated by her, and then of course feeling guilty about it. I took some EPO so hopefully that will help. How much are you supposed to take, just what the bottle recommends?
momadance's Avatar momadance 09:25 PM 11-08-2004
Congrats Ekatherina! Welcome to life with a babe!!!

Slings- I ordered a pack pack from babyfairies.com I bought the circus print (cuz it was 35) I love it!!!! It's so snuggly! I use my hotsling on occasion. I can only put Reed in there if he's already sleeping. I use my maya (tummy to tummy) also. I finally figured out the craddle/nursing position. I have to say though I prefer to use my mei tei style pack pack when taking Miles to the park, or other outings. It's totally hands free! I would have loved to get a kozy

I definately desire my dh more now that I'm no longer preggers, but with our HECTIC lives, nothing's going down (and no one :LOL)

Kathy, I would order the premiums. I use the infant as soaker style in a cover, but would never be able to fasten one around my butter ball He's 2 and a half weeks and at about 12 lbs!

Amie, I had my first post baby cry yesterday too! I was feeling so overwhelmed about how messy my house is... I'm over it now though. I just have to let it go. My cry had a little to do with the fact that Dh wasnt home at all monday or wed. of Friday, and then went out Sat, our friend came home with him sat night and stayed all day sunday, then we raced to a bday party, and dh had to leave that night, and won't be home at all today/tonight. I miss him ykwim?... I felt alot better after my weepiness.

Katie, are you saying you guys DTD!!???!!!! Yikers! Has it even been 2 weeks????
mirthfulmum's Avatar mirthfulmum 11:14 PM 11-08-2004
:LOL Thanks for asking the question Katie. I was wondering how many of us were DTD myslef. Well I'm happy to say that Dh and I managed to get our groove back this weekend. Put Harrison in the swing where he slept contentedly, Alias was out on a playdate, and Dh and I were able to get some time to just be with each other again. I was a little nervous as it was only 4 weeks postpardum and after Alias' birth we waited 'till 9 weeks and even then sex hurt quite a bit (actually didn't stop hurting for 6 months). I guess since Harrison's birth was so much less traumatic to my body, and my stitches healed up very quickly my body was just ready, so there was realy no pain to speak of. And it was so nice to reconnect and rediscover each other as a couple. Although I am wondering when I will regain my ability to climax again. Sorry if that was too much information.

I can not tell you how many times I have started a paragraph and then deleted it. Everything I write seems so silly. Perhaps it's just that my brain at the moment is taking a break and won't let me have a coherent thought. Harrison is napping, Alias is helping Dh cook dinner... I'm baby free and my brain just does not know what to do with itself!
Lucysmama's Avatar Lucysmama 12:43 AM 11-09-2004

Sorry to confuse! I didn't have sex, we just messed around! I am not ready for the actual deed yet. I did have sex at 14 days pp last time, though. With a csection, there is less to recover from down below, ya know?

grrrrr...one-handed typing!
blessed2bamommie's Avatar blessed2bamommie 12:58 AM 11-09-2004
I was really impressed so soon PP if you did... :LOL
gottaknit's Avatar gottaknit 01:26 AM 11-09-2004
Hi Everyone. I haven't posted at all I don't think since announcing Henry was born. There just doesn't seem to be time (it's a miracle if I get breakfast before noon or change out of PJs by three), and I've also been a little down and didn't feel like visiting the boards.

Henry is a dream baby, as everyone is forever reminding me. He's sleeping about six hours a night between feedings, and pretty much just eats and sleeps all day. He hardly ever cries; just has a fussy time from about 9pm-midnight. Anyway, all of this dreaminess is apparently supposed to mean that I can never comment that I am tired or that he is fussy at the moment. Comments like this bring on torrents of, "You don't know how lucky you are!!!" and comparisons to how bad other people have it.

Also, apparently all of his good looks are due to the fact that I had a cesarean birth, not just because he is a cute baby with a nicely shaped head. Maybe this is true, but I'm sick of hearing how great it is that I had a c-sec and have a cute baby.

Anyway, can you tell I'm a little emotional these days? I thought if anything I would be upset about having to have a cesarean, but that doesn't seem to ever enter my mind. I feel much more traumatized by the labor. I have nightmares about it and flashbacks when I'm in certain situations. (Like sitting on the toilet. During labor I couldn't go to the bathroom because it brought on the most painful contractions. When I went to the hospital they emptied nearly 2 liters of urine out of me with the catheter.) So now I'm horribly constipated and even nervous to pee a lot of the time.

So when do I start feeling empowered? I didn't find labor the least bit magical and I didn't feel strong or like my body was working the way it was supposed to. And I cannot imagine ever wanting to do it again. EVER. This makes me really depressed because I was expecting the most wonderful experience of my life. And now I'm totally turned off by it all.

OK sorry for the rant.
Piglet68's Avatar Piglet68 08:27 AM 11-09-2004
Nancy It's so normal to be moody and emotional during this time, please don't be so hard on yourself. And if you do need to process your birth experience, you can do that. It sounds like nobody is acknowledging your feelings: people often want to "make you feel better" when really, what we need is just for someone to listen and say "yeah, that sucks!". I will tell you that one of the things I do to fight off depression is force myself to get out of the house in the morning, get showered and dressed as early as I can. I know it isn't always easy or possible, but I cannot tell you what a huge difference it makes in my mood. Anyways, you just do what you need to do, and know that we're all behind you!

DTD...? lol, well after DD was born I had zero libido for about six months. I "took one for the team" on a few occasions, but really didn't get interested for a while. This time my libido is showing signs of early recovery, but of course I'm not supposed to be doing that for another two weeks. ;-) The biggest obstacle this time around is going to be finding the time - time that we wouldn't rather spend catching up on sleep, lol.

slings: well I have been getting alot of use out of my fleece pouch - its just so cozy. And Sasha loves the upright tummy-to-tummy hold, which Emily didn't, so I use my Maya sling for that alot, too. I have even used my brown cotton sling (a heavy denim) when I want to feel particularly colour coordinated, lol. The one disappointment is my wrap slings - I should have gone with stretchy material. The instructions I had said you could use either, and even suggested that non-stretchy was easier to manage, but I'm finding that very not true. It's harder to tie fabric when it isn't soft and stretchy, and I find the knot digs into me, and the material around my waist just feels restrictive b/c it doesn't move with me. It's also just a whole lot of material and not as easy to bunch up width-wise, so I feel like I'm just draped. I have used them around the house a couple of times for the tummy hold, but the maya is so much easier for that. What's really annoying is the wraps were so expensive b/c they called for such a huge length of fabric. I'd have been better off just ordering a Moby. Ah well! Live and learn!

One neat thing: the other day our family was taking a walk along the seawall when another mother stopped me and asked what kind of sling I had. When I said "maya wrap" she was like "oh I just ordered one" and then we talked about the moby, pouch slings, etc. I should have asked if she was at MDC since most people havent' heard of these slings if they aren't online and in the "NFL" world, so to speak. Anyways, DH was amazed at how that one topic could make total strangers talk like they knew each other, lol.

Poor Sasha has what I think is eczema. On his forehead between his eyes is a rough rash with dry, yellowy skin. I noticed today that he's also developed a similar rash on his bottom and even on his little penis! Poor dear! Our 1 month checkup is tomorrow so I'm eager to find out what the doc says. I had him in prefolds, coverless, this afternoon in an attempt to allow the butt rash to heal: it doesn't look like diaper rash but I'm sure a wet nappy doesn't feel good! Also, in some lights yesterday he was looking yellow (ie. jaundiced) but in other lights not at all. I'm more concerned about that, it's a bit late to still be jaundiced, isn't it? And it had gone away...anyways, we'll find out tomorrow. My poor boy!
mandalamama's Avatar mandalamama 12:06 PM 11-09-2004
hi mamas ... this is a sad day. i'm not sure if i'm really going to be welcome at MDC at this point. i posted to Breastfeeding about what's going on. i've had to go back on a medication i had been on for many years and had stopped during pregnancy. that insomnia started when i went off of it but i just kept telling myself i could solve it with mind over matter or trying other meds. we ran out of meds to try so i went back on klonopin. and i slept 6 hours right away. each night since i've slept 6-7 hours. that'd be good news normally ... i could wake up, nurse Willow, and go right back to sleep just like normal moms. the problem is, Willow can NOT have the breastmilk with klonopin in it. it's sedating, can cause apnea, and it is also highly addictive. they don't know the long term effects of it, even Dr. Tom Hale's book is iffy about it.

so my choices are this: pump and discard for 12 hours, then breastfeed and pump for 12 hours and hope i can get 12 hours supply from pumping. the max i've gotten per day is 4 oz. and that's using every trick in the book to increase supply. i can also *tears* supplement with formula at night, after of course giving her every drop of breastmilk that's been pumped. we're going to give her breastmilk first even if it's only a fraction of an ounce, before she gets any formula. but if she's still hungry and the klonopin is still in my system, then we have no choice.

i want to flush the damn meds down the toilet!!! i have stood there with the bottle. then i think how bad all those days were when i didn't sleep. i am able to function now, pick up my daughter, give her baths, even take her to the mall and walk around with her. i'm able to cook and clean as my energy allows, i'm able to eat because my appetite is back. i can walk around and rock her in my arms and sing to her i'm still tired, fibromyalgia will do that, but i am doing SO much better and Willow seems so much more peaceful. BUT!! i held her this morning to give her a bottle of what BM was left and i felt horrible. she gets this blissedful look on her face when she's nursing, with a bottle she just looks blankly off into space. even though i undressed her and we laid skin-to-skin. then she was still hungry ... crying and so miserably hungry! she'd also fought the bottle quite a bit, but at least she ate. i had a bottle of formula prepared in the fridge just in case she was still hungry before the 12 hours were up. i COULD NOT USE IT!! my instincts were screaming at me, so i put her to my breast and she settled down into a peaceful state right away. but it was only 8 hours after i took the klonopin so i know she got some she's zonked out now and i have no way to tell if it's sedation from the med or just a regular sleep.

i use a binky. she sleeps best in a wind-up swing. she still hates the maya wrap when i wear her, although she likes it when her daddy wears her but only a certain time of night. we want to do cloth diapers but don't have laundry facilities easily available so we're waiting til we move. i can't breastfeed her 9-12 hours out of the day. and she is going to end up being supplemented with formula if i can't pump and store enough breastmilk.

do i have any right to be on MDC at all at this point? i trust your opinions.
Momma2LiamandTara's Avatar Momma2LiamandTara 12:41 PM 11-09-2004
Melli- You most certainly belong here. You are doing what's best for you and your daughter. There is nothing bad or wrong with what you are doing. Even if you have to go to all formula you are still doing what's best for you two. Being a mom is doing what's best for all of you. Even you know you're better when you've had sleep. What is so bad or wrong with doing the best you can. You don't need to feel guilty about your decision. It's okay to feel sad but please remember you are a good mom.
3bees~1flower's Avatar 3bees~1flower 12:50 PM 11-09-2004
Meli---don't even ask such a thing... of course you are welcome...you are first and foremost a MOTHER!! and that is what this is...a place for MOTHERS!! anyone who would suggest otherwise is just being mean and judgemental. you have gone above and beyond to give your little one mama's milk...your health and well-being need to come first or you can't be the mother you want to be. please get rid of any thoughts of not fitting in. you will always fit in here with the Oct. mamas!
blessed2bamommie's Avatar blessed2bamommie 12:54 PM 11-09-2004
Meli, first I would say to get in touch with a LLL . They acutally have info about bfing and meds. Maybe there is a med that you can take that can allow you to still bf....

There *are* women at MDC who use a binky *and* swings. You want to desperately bf. Not *everyone* even in this group, cd! (cloth diaper) If I recall correctly, mamas say that AP is really being attentive to your babes needs. My observation is the mainstream parenting is all about the mamas convenience, AP is child centered. Noone here doubts that you aren't all about your child.
I'm praying to Jesus, the Prince of Peace on your behalf, Meli.

Nancy.... I was so busy with Mik and then trying to get myself roto rooted again, that I forgot to reply to you.
People are a trip aren't they! There is *no* perfect baby...well, Jesus was a mother's dream I'm sure, but I mean good grief... So, Henri has a good temperament! It bothers you if he's fussy. A mama doesn't like it when her baby isn't happy! Those comments like you should be glad...:

I'm sure that the c/s comments you. This also comes from a society now who has an alarming c/s rate. (you know yall c/s mamas, this is not a commentary on yall) But, coming from a place of education where you are its .

Nancy, have you spoken to Pam? She's seems like a wonderful, nurturing woman and she of course understands where you're coming from as opposed to your family. Maybe it would help to talk through your feelings about labor with her. That was truly a long labor... I'm sure that it had to be awfully exhausting and excruciating to have to labor for so long. I want to affirm you for having the courage to perservere in your homebirth, I'm sure, until it was best for you and Henri to transfer. I'm really in awe of the 40 hours. I was telling someone else about you! I was in labor for nine and ended up asking for nubaine!

Constipation: ask *Pam* once again about a solution! I'm in a different place from you, where I wanted the hb; but, b/c of my history with Jordan, I wasn't able to totally trust and leaned on my back up more than most hbers, I'm sure. Whereas someone would take Smooth Move tea w/o hesitation, I called to ask and of course, they didn't know and recommended colace and so I just did it b/c having suffered with IBS, I'm in agony when I get locked up, although I wasn't thrilled about the propolyene glycol and dyes in it. Last nights solution was after the colace, which the md recommends 2 in the am and 2 at night for a better response instead of 3 at once, after drink mag citrate, which usually works;but, I forgot since my IBS days, you gotta drink it quick and that usually softens everything up, which was an issue of fear for me b/c of fear of busting stitches. I'm not sure about a c/s; but, they probably, I remember after my ovarian surgery, they don't want you to strain. Well, after that and I was feeling blocked, he recommended dulcolax, lots of water and oat bran, and later this am success! Probably a combo. Poor Mik, I wonder if she got effected. She was wide open nursing this am. Anyway, I wanted to share since I empathize and maybe something might help.

Ok, we *both* were heading for a wonderful hb. All excited and I remember how excited you were for me when I decided. The outcomes for both of us was not that. You transfered and ended up with a c/s. I hadn't delivered by the 26th, had a fever and then by the wheel or my cycles its was gettin or at 42 weeks, which they want you delivered by. I went for an appointment b/c I was scared and wanted to make sure Mik was ok and *never* came home! I was admitted and they induced me. Long story short after trying everything, we came down to having to use pit! You *know* I didn't want that! I was strapped down to and IV and a fetal monitor! There was *no* water at that point! I was *slammed* into active labor by that junk! NO! *not* magical NOT wonderful! *nothing* like * had imagined and dreamed! YES! here I was and they were going to *evict* Mikayla. I was robbed of the bloody show and the early labor without being drugged into it, and I wanted to be free of that fetal monitor! And pushing! I didn't feel like I'm woman hear me roar! I was like get her OUT! I though pushing was *worse* than labor! And then the mw (remember the one who was just sooooooo lovely when I started at the md practice? ), who was on call that night, had the nerve to say that subsequent babies could be 'late' as I sit there on the birth ball a pitocin prisioner somehow under the misconception that I could be kickstarted and taken off. Right now you need to process *Henri's* birth. Don't think about Harriet's. Lemme tell ya. But you know, even through all you're feeling that every pregnancy and birth is different, even with the same mama.

You know that me and Katie can relate to you about your lost hb. I grieved when they admitted me and then once Mik came I set my focus on her. We wanted to get to this point for several years now, and then after Jordan dying to have Mik be alive and well, well....I hope that you never have to experience the joy of that b/c of the worst heartbreak you could ever bear. I did think the other day I felt robbed of the labor process. I focus on Mik and her getting know the world. I come from a different place tho. But, lemme tell ya, women take this whole process for granted, and so did I until things don't go the way you expect them....

I hope somehow you've been encouraged.

Praise God I'm roto rooted again, yall! I feel good! Now, to see if I can do what I *planned* to yesterday! : eyesroll Bath for me and Mikayla rest b/c I'm still sleepy, maybe after we're all bathed and I need to clean...I'm supposed to have company tomorrow.

\o/ my tail is feeling better today! My mamas best friend said itchin means healin. I need to soak the hemerrhoid; but, I can deal with that. My stuff being messed up was messin with my mind!

k...checking my email and all....
ameliabedelia's Avatar ameliabedelia 12:59 PM 11-09-2004
Melly, of course you belong at MDC. . You are a very attached mama and doing what is best for you daughter and your family. Even if you have to use all formula, you will still belong at MDC. Willow needs a well-rested mama who is calm and peaceful and able to take care of her. You are doing your best considering your situation. Formula is not bad or evil at all, it is merely a tool to help mamas and babies in special situations when babies need more milk. It it totally okay to use formula in your situation, your Willow needs a mama who is well and healthy.

As far as DTD goes, I feel pretty healed down there, and we actually started to try a few nights ago, but Greta woke up and kept wanting to nurse and wouldn't go back to sleep, so alas we gave up on the idea.

Nancy, I am sure you baby is just naturally cute, and it is NOT because of the c-section. My baby is super cute, and I didn't have a c-section . Besides, the difference in looks between c-section babies and vaginally babies and the shape of their heads and all pretty much evens out after the first week or so anyway.

s to everyone suffering from the baby blues. I have been feeling a little anxious and down lately as well. Nothing really serious, and I feel better if I keep busy and get out and eat well. I am also taking some EPO (just the dosage on the bottle) and hoping that helps a little. Mostly I have just been feeling a little blah and bored, but not too bad.

As far as slings go, well I haven't really been linking my homemade wraps to much either. It just takes too long to put on, and I find all the fabric confusing. Plus, my biggest problem is Greta likes to nurse so much, I really need her to be in a position where I can easily just move things and adjust them to nurse without taking the whole wrap off. So, I have been using my Kozy a lot, and my old OTSBH. I also ordered a New Native Pouch cheap off ebay, so we will see how that works. I am feeling a little sling envy and wanting to try all these slings out to see which is best. I find the Kozy really comfortable, but it does take a minute or so to put on and I am looking for something I can just slip on and slip her in and out of and nurse easily in and stuff.

Piglet, I hope the doctor's appt today goes well and Sasha is well and healthy.
momadance's Avatar momadance 01:19 PM 11-09-2004
Melly s to you! I'm so sorry for all your going through. I only breast fed Miles for 3 weeks, and it's heart breaking. I made my own formula though. I couldn't feed him that canned crap. If your interested in a recipe lemme know.

mandalamama's Avatar mandalamama 01:34 PM 11-09-2004
wannabmommie: one of the lactation consultants i have is also the local LLL leader, she's really great at helping with everything. klonopin is definitely the only med that will work (trying to think, we tried 5 or 6 total since all this started at 20 weeks pregnant) although my dr is always keeping her eye out for new meds along the same lines. the LC says i could nurse as early as 9 hours, as long as i watch her carefully. i've got a call in to the pediatrician because i want to know if there is ANY way i can still BF with klonopin in the breastmilk, like what is the exact percentage Willow is getting, is she's going to be sedated a little for 1-2 hours in the morning is it a situation where the benefits outweigh the risks, and what is the hard data on baby addiction to klonopin through breastmilk.

i have no idea how to feed with formula in the first place. someone had given me What To Expect The First Year but it only talks about boiling the water ... we always have purified spring water on hand, so i wonder if that's ok. i already boil to sterilize everything since we're at the tail end of dealing with thrush and i want to make sure it doesn't come back, so that's easy.

thank you for your kind words ... i keep telling myself "it's the thought that counts" but after having a have a c-birth it feels like it's just another loss, know what i mean? i love being able to just put her to the breast, even with the Reynauds the pain is so worth it, and we've really settled down to such a lovely routine each day i hate to upset it. this morning when she was crying hungry and i was faced with formula or klonopin-milk, i chose to nurse and i still don't know if that was wrong. i am cutting my dose down to the absolute minimum over the next 4 nights. if there is ANY way i can use the lowest possible dose and Willow can still nurse unharmed, i'm going to do that. i am just NOT a formula mom, it's the F-word around here! i'll use it as a last resort. it's too damn difficult anyway, the boob is right here and doesn't need to be boiled

: Ekatherina i'm so excited for you! seemed like such a long ordeal and i'm so happy you're holding your baby at last

momadance: i would love to have a recipe for homemade formula! the canned stuff smells awful and tastes worse!

doing the deed: yikes *lol* even with a c-birth i am just so sore! especially my hips. i think it was the long labor. here's some TMI but thank goodness for BJs! and just plain cuddling and making out. i haven't kissed someone this much since high school i'm also not sure of the BC effects since i'll be breastfeeding less, i need to talk to my gyn about the progesterone pill. frankly i am terrified of getting pregnant again after all my experiences. one wonderful baby is enough, plus hopefully adoption of an older child someday
Thia's Avatar Thia 03:18 PM 11-09-2004
{{{Melly}}} You are a fine mamma. Getting rest can make alll the difference in the world as I am finding out. Being rested is so important.
DTD: Ummmm....no. My 6 wk appt is the end of Nov and honestly, I am hoping the dr will say to wait a little longer. I am afraid of the pain. I was small to begin with and had problems due to birth control pill hormones messing things up too, so it was just before we got pg that things worked themselves out. I really hate the thought of being back to square one...
gotta run...
True Blue's Avatar True Blue 05:30 PM 11-09-2004
DTD: ha ha it's only been 9 days. I have no plans on resuming that until probably 8 weeks or so. I was so dry when we tried to resume after DS anway, it wasn't pleasant.

Took Lillian to her first Dr appt today. 9lbs 2oz already (up from 8-8)! Everything looks good except she has a little heart murmur. Dr said they usually go away by 2 weeks, so we'll go back next week. If it's still there, she'll need an echogram to rule out any problems, but she said it's usually just the heart taking longer to close up than normal and nothing to worry about. I sure hope so!!

Melly -- Of course you belong here. It's about mothering, and that is what you are doing - Being the best Mother for your child. You do her no good if you are always too tired and sore to hold her and play with her. And shoot I use a swing and a bouncy seat...is there some law that says you can't? If she's happy and I can have a few minutes to get some things good, then it's ok. I also hold her for hours and sling her.

Nancy -- I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I can totally see how that would all be traumatic. I agree that you should talk to Pam about it. And csections make cuter babies??? First I heard of that! It makes their heads look better for the first day or two if you weren't in labor a long time, but after that, what could it possibly affect?

Ok I'm tired and gonna try for a nap. No wait first I have to wake Lillian up and get her to nurse...she's been sleeping 4 hours!!
gottaknit's Avatar gottaknit 06:03 PM 11-09-2004
Thanks everyone for your support. I was pretty emotional last night. I guess having even the best MIL around 24/7 can do that to a person. I think maybe I need some Alone Time.

Meli, of course you belong here!! I don't think being AP is like belonging to a clique. The cool kids can't vote you off the island. I was on Klonopin before getting pregnant, too, and I can totally understand not wanting to go off it again. It was a lifesaver for me. Insomnia sucks. (Thankfully I haven't had that problem return yet!) You're doing what's best for you and your family. Sleep is important!

Sling Chat: I'm loving the Moby. Except, it is kind of a PITA to get all wrapped up in it. So it's great for walks from home, but if I want to drive somewhere and then put it on and put the baby in.... too complicated. And taking him out to change or feed and then back in again....

I cannot get my Hotsling to work at all. What kind of idiot can't use a Hotsling?! Maybe it's too small? But the baby looks all squished way down in there with his spine twisted around my torso. He looks uncomfortable and a little frightened when I put him in there. He really prefers to be held up higher in a tummy-to-tummy position, and the Hotsling is more like wearing my infant as a belt... Any suggestions?

OK here comes a little MIL rant, so feel free to skip this paragraph. My MIL is a nurse practioner and more than a little OCD. She is obsessed with cleanliness and germs. She is freaking out that we keep putting our finger in the baby's mouth when he wants to suck something. (We just don't want to get in the binky habit with him.) She says, "You can boil a binky! Fingers are not sterile!!" So... should I be boiling my breasts, too? Also, she just spent four hours cleaning our shower. Yes, I luuuv having someone clean my shower, but she's using paper towels. She's been through two whole rolls and for *&^#'s sake it doesn't take four hours to clean a shower. I keep offering her a rag or scrub brush instead, but she won't use them because "paper towels are more sanitary". She also won't allow us to use our regular cloth napkins at dinner, and she won't use dish towels or hand towels in the bathroom. Everything must be disposable!! What a nut. :
Lucysmama's Avatar Lucysmama 11:06 PM 11-09-2004
Nancy -

I could relate to about 90% of what you posted. I had a really really hard time during my home labor, too. Going to the hospital, and even the cesarean was so much easier than the days I spent laboring at my house. And the toilet flashbacks! I took castor oil, and I spent an entire night and part of the next day shitting (sorry) my brains out on the toilet during painful contractions. It was torture! I still feel freaked out about going, and when I sit there, I think about the pain of being in labor with hours of diarrhea. I had these intenstinal cramps - man, they were beyond Pitocin. They were rough! So I had this vision of my homelabor and homebirth, and that was NOT it. I envisioned me and dd and dh and my mw all helping me get thru my labor, me laboring in the tub, them supporting me...the reality was days and days of on again, off again labor which would not stay in an active pattern, dosing me with cohoshes, with Benadryl, with the castor oil, everyone waiting on my body, my dd being outplaced for days....I am having a hard time processing the reality of my labor, too.

Coming home from the hospital was very hard because the birth tub was still here, and the birth kit and supplies, and everywhere I went, I could feel and see the days I had spent in labor in the apartment. In the shower, there was the water bottle I was drinking from while I spent hours on my hands and knees in there. There was the Hybicleanse on the counter that I had been doing because my membranes were ruptured for so many days. The vanilla milkshake in the freezer that I had been putting the castor oil in. Just stuff everywhere reminding me of the pain and difficult time I had here.

Sorry to digress, but I wanted to let you know that I get what you are saying. I thought my labor and birth were going to be so beautiful and natural and healing, and it was so different. Much love and peace to you.
blessed2bamommie's Avatar blessed2bamommie 11:27 PM 11-09-2004
I had missed what happened with you, Katie. I can't remember the last check I did before *I* ended up at the hospital! I was hearing you mention bits and pieces and I thought you ended up transferring and having another c/s. *sigh*

Katie, Nancy course, Nancy thinking of my MIL I understand your emotions. And yeah, you *do* need some alone time. I don't know exactly your situation; but, I stagger visitors, cept I have them tomorrow and then mama is coming Thursday, but we have had back to back days here with noone, so I guess its even. After we got back from church, I noticed a note from MIL and her number in the caller id. Reminds me of last weekend when she called and got no answer and just came over.

I'm slowing down... I might get off the computer.
Piglet68's Avatar Piglet68 12:47 AM 11-10-2004
The posts by Letia and Katie to Nancy make me all weepy inside. What an amazing group of women we have here!!!

mellybean: of COURSE you are welcome here!!
I do have one suggestion - do they KNOW for a fact the amount of drug that gets into the breastmilk, and what the rate of exrection is? I'm thinking...not exactly. So, what I recommend is this: see if there is a lab in your area, or a local university, that would test it for you. You can take your meds, then pump a small sample of BM, label it with date/time after meds, etc....do this every half hour or so for 12 hours. Get the lab to measure the amount of drug in each sample. YOu will then know a) if the drug is excreted in the milk at all, b) how much, how big a dose, is in there and c) how long it ttakes to get down to a tolerable dose for your baby. It may cost you some money, but if it saves your breastfeeding, it's worth it.

And if it turns out you really can't BF b/c of the drug, don't feel a moment of guilt. Your health is important. Can you imagine your poor dD being motherless? when Ithink of how tragic that is it forces me to think about taking better care of myself. you do what you need to do, mama. willow needs you.

Turns out Sasha's "excema" was just cradle cap! Who knew it didn't have to be on his head? Doc said it's classic - he has it in the eyebrows, and the flaky skin is a very yellow colour. Classic symptoms. And down below was just a bad case of diaper rash that is already clearing up on its own.

Question for CDing mamas: what diaper rash cream do you use? Im thinking the usual drugstore stuff is NOT gonna wash out very easily....
mirthfulmum's Avatar mirthfulmum 04:15 AM 11-10-2004
I have been trying to post here since 3 o'clock this afternoon. It is now 10 at night. All that I've been writing through out the afternoon/evening has been lost. I am too tired to even re-attempt to properly address all that's been happening here recently.

I would like to say though that it has been really great to read all the honesty and support here. On crazy chaotic momma days like I had today it is so heart warming to see a group of caring and supportive women comming together and really being there for each other. Knowing that we are all going through this together some how makes days like this easier.
chantald's Avatar chantald 10:28 AM 11-10-2004
May I join you? My daughter was born October 15th.. unfortunatly via repeat C. I also have a son who is 3 1/2

momadance's Avatar momadance 11:00 AM 11-10-2004
sniff sniff Katie, Letia and Nancy. Your all so strong and open. It's beautiful.

Piglet: I used the Flanders Buttocks Ointment, it works great, BUT doesn't wash our easy.

Reed's got the sniffles It's so sad, and he's having a hard time while he nurses. Do I have to go to the Doc. for the sniffles? I've been taking more Vit. C. What else can I do for him? I hate using the bulb syringe. I feel like I'm going to damage his nose.

Melly, I'll snoop around for the EXACT recipe. I just juiced organic carrots and mixed it with organic soy.A friend of mine did the same but use goats milk instead. I also supplemented with some Floradix (sp?) vitamins. The recipe I've seen calls for oil, and maple syrup, and something else. It's a recipe from The Farm.

Ditto what you said Mirthful

Of course your welcome chantald and congrats on your baby girl!
3bees~1flower's Avatar 3bees~1flower 12:09 PM 11-10-2004
Mornin', mamas!

Ella had her 2 week check-up yesterday. she was 9lbs 4.4 oz on the 26th on Oct. when we came home from the hospital and yesterday she was 10-2!

Her jaundice is slowly going away...we had lights for a week...hate them things : !

Amie...Ella also has a very faint heart murmur...he said he'll just monitor it for now. i need to get my stethoscope out an see if i can hear it too.

i bought some EPO yesterday...i want to see if it can help me to stay a little more even keel...sometimes i get so snippy with the boys and i don't like it at all!! it's ok with bf'ing, right? i was wondering what dose you all reccomend?

Welcome, Chantal!!
bluehalo's Avatar bluehalo 12:31 PM 11-10-2004
Meli, I’m coming in late here, so I’ll just echo what has already been said. Please don’t feel guilty if you end up having to formula feed. I had to wean Ethan at 4 months to start a course of chemotherapy, and it was *so* sad ... I couldn't even talk about it for over a year without crying or at least tearing up. I really did have to give myself the permission and time to mourn the loss of our nursing relationship. But, it was non negotiable ... to be overly simplistic, a formula feeding mama is better than no mama at all ... so we did what had to be done. I guess I'm just sharing this to let you know that you may need lots of time to come to terms with it, if you do end up going that route. And Piglet had a great idea about the labwork ... at least that would give you some hard facts to work with. Knowledge is power

Nancy, s to you too mama. We weren't planning a homebirth, but things certainly didn't progress as we had imagined them. I wish I could say that I have the mindset that I used to, but I have to say that I feel less than impowered in my abilities as a "birthing mama". We're not planning on having more kids ... but if we were, I could really see this birth as an albatross of sorts, hanging over my head. And OMG, how frustrating w/ people not validating your feelings re: the challenges of new-parenthood, and being so insensitive as to remark that your baby is cute b/c of the cesarean. Geesh! *eye rolling* Your MIL would go crazy in our home as well ... we don't even *have* paper napkins or paper towels *snort*. On the bright side, at least your bathroom is clean :LOL

Someone asked about sizes of Chinese Prefolds ... Noah (somewhere between 12 and 13 lbs now) fits into the infant prefolds nicely. I've tried a premium, just for kicks, and while he wasn't *totally* swimming in it, it was pretty durn big, and would have been incredibly bulky to try to fit under clothing. So, if you can afford to invest in both, I'd start w/ the infant size. You can find them pretty reasonably on ebay too.

I'm anxiously awaiting my KKAFP ... I had one that I loved and used all the time with Ethan, and I've been unable to find it! *sob* I kept thinking, each time I'd open a rubbermaid full of his baby stuff, that it would show up, and it just never has. So, I broke down and ordered a new one. I can't wait. In the meantime I've been using my home-made ring sling, and a sweet pouch that a friend made for me. I also have a Bjorn that I use sometime too. I'd love to try a Mei Tei or similar carrier, but I can't really justify spending the $$. *sigh*

For diaper rash cream, we use either Earth Friendly Baby (their "daily lotion" cream, not the one w/ zinc oxide) or Miracle Salve from Kerry's Herbals. I really love both.

And welcome, Chantal!

Noah is asleep on my lap, and my dad has Ethan out getting his hair cut. The house is strangely peaceful. I felt *so* crappy yesterday, I had DH come home early to relieve me, I had a horrible headache and my body ached all over. I'm so grateful to be feeling better today. Whew!
mandalamama's Avatar mandalamama 12:57 PM 11-10-2004
very long story short ... Willow is now a formula-fed baby

she drinks heartily and spits up very little. i know she'll gain weight and be ok. but it is SO obvious she wants the breast. and i don't know how to formula feed. they say that for Willow's age it's every 3 hours and if you do sooner than that on a regular basis you can set them up for weight and other problems later in life. i know all she wants is the breast, i know it. she used to get a certain look on her face during and after nursing and i haven't seen anything like that look when she's eating formula. afterwards she starts rooting and gets so angry! i tried 3 oz., i tried 4 oz. even, she's still rooting desparately and chewing her fists. i tried pinky and paci. if i hold her to rock her, she is desparate for my breast. i wanted to wean her more gradually but she was showing signs of sedation and muscle tone problems so it had to be sudden.

THIS JUST SUCKS. you all have been so helpful and we had finally settled down into a really lovely pattern of breastfeeding. i want to nurse her right now!! all night i wanted to nurse her. every time she cries i want to nurse her. it was bad enough we needed a cesearean but now this?! this is a far, far greater loss than the birth stuff. i keep thinking of how i was going to see her at 3 months, 6 months, 1 years, 2 years, tugging at my breast and smiling at me. and now we have lost that. going off the meds is only an option if i want to be non-functional again. which honestly is tempting to go off them a week at a time just to nurse! but it takes 36 hours each time for the med to get out of the breastmilk.

ok. fine. i am a formula feeding mom. just like i am a c-birth mom. i have to accept it. my daughter will still gain weight and i will watch carefully for other problems like ear infections. i will never bottle-prop her. i will hold her for every feeding as if i were nursing her. she will be loved so much while she's eating. i still want to just break everything in the house out of anger and grief, though
mandalamama's Avatar mandalamama 01:06 PM 11-10-2004
Piglet: that's a good idea about testing the milk, actually. if Willow hadn't been showing signs of sedation and "hypotonia" (wide awake eyes but not moving her limbs) then we wouldn't have known she was getting it, and i definitely would have wanted a test like that.

i also forgot to add: the 12 hour on/off thing was advised by my dr's ARPN, and she was looking up another med in the same family. i called for a second opinion and that's when i found out it lasts 24-36 hours. so i ended up with 4 opinions yesterday. i'm glad i called for that second opinion! i knew something was wrong with Willow, that it was more than the normal newborn floppiness.

can anyone recommend a good pouch sling? willow still doesn't like the maya wrap when i wear it, so i'd love to try a pouch. i'm looking in the under $40 range (if they exist?).
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