December already! Sept 04 Mamas - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-24-2004, 07:10 PM
 
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Busy, busy, busy. I'm trying to get everything done and I end up procrastinating more. I just get so excited when I have some free time, I don't know where to start. Anyone else have that problem?

DS rolled over yesterday!! I was very excited! He rolled from tummy to back. My baby's growing up!

I wanted to be sure and with everyone a very merry Christmas!! I'm off now. It's time to wrap gifts and prep the monkey bread for tomorrow!
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Old 12-24-2004, 07:27 PM
 
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lynsey-I am new here but please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. I am sorry for your loss.

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. I am off to finish the million tasks before we go out of town.
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Old 12-24-2004, 10:48 PM
 
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Lynsey
I am sorry to hear about your loss.

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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Old 12-24-2004, 11:24 PM
 
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So sorry for your loss Lynsey. You and your family must be devastated. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 12-25-2004, 12:52 PM
 
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Merry Christmas mamas.

Here are some Christmas pics. The kitchen got done in time - hooray! Check out the before and after. Thank you freecycle! Hope you all have a fun day with your family.

Love to you all.
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Old 12-25-2004, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Merry Christmas, mamas who are celebrating it!

Lynsey, I am so, so sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a family member near a holiday; my dad died on Easter Monday and I associate Easter with his death now. I hope that your happy memories of him sustain you during this difficult time.

Sarah that's some impressive work you did on the kitchen!!

Our train ride went fine. Tristan slept at all of the key moments, like the insane transfer in Chicago where it was elbow-to-elbow standing room only in the Amtrak waiting area. I had to roll my suitcase over some guy's toe to get through to pre-board our train to Ann Arbor. Tristan got fussy on the way there, toward the end of the ride, but we figured out that it was overstimulation so Jo walked him with a blanket over his head and he fell asleep. He has slept half of the morning today and hasn't been eating very well. His eye is also red. It's his left one which he's been rubbing for a week, but we hadn't seen anything in it so we didn't call the doc. Figures that today it's red, now that we're 750 miles away from home. Any ideas? It's not goopy or anything and it doesn't seem to be bothering him more than usual. A few squirts of breast milk, maybe?

Hope you are all well and having some peace and quiet. It's sure nice to get to hang with my sister and bro-in-law a bit *without* my mom here (she arrives today at 4).

xo, j.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-25-2004, 07:24 PM
 
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Jen, Tristan is such a cutie!! the nakey pic. I think he might've gotten that red hair you were hoping for. I hope his eye doesn't give him any more trouble. Poor little guy! I'd try breastmilk in it, sure can't hurt.

Sarah, Awesome job on that kitchen!! It looks great. Cute, cute cute kids and family!

Merry Christmas to everyone who is celebrating it today!

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 12-26-2004, 12:32 AM
 
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Lynsey, sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are doing okay.

Ok, guys, I have to chime in on c-sections. Please don't berate me for this, but I don't understand what the uproar is about people having csections. I had one due to placenta previa and I wasn't uspet about it at all. It was just the way things went. I think it is wonderful that csections have become so safe. I needed one, and I didn't have to worry about the safety of my baby or me. I think it is great that the risk to mother or child is almost the same (or the same, depending on which study you read) as a vaginal birth. And why would one care if another mom elects to have a c-section? I just don't understand. I don't mean to be argumentative, but I just don't get it.

Well, the holidays went really well for me. We had family here from the 21st to today and now the house is ours! It was so fun to have Kate with us this year. Kids make the holidays so fun- even if they have no idea what's going on!

Does anyone get depressed thinking about taking the tree down?

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday!!
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Old 12-26-2004, 02:16 AM
 
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leomom - Yes I get depressed about taking the tree down. I'm bummed Christmas is over. We will probably leave our tree up until after the new year!

I don't have issues with c-sections. I almost had to have one. I don't think what another woman does with her body is any of my business. That's all I'm going to say. I don't want to start anything either.

Sistermama - That kitchen is awesome! If I hadn't seen your ds in it, I would have mistaken it for a real, life size one!

We had a good Christmas. First one ever at our house, thanks to our new DS!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day!

What kind of stuff did your little ones get? Let's see pics!
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:37 AM
 
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Lynsey, I am so terribly sorry for your loss! I hope you and your family were able to enjoy your holiday despite your grief.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Even though for the continental US it's now over. :LOL I hope it was wonderful! We had a good day, though very long and a little stressful at times - just trying to get everything done and eat before midnight (we barely succeeded!).

The most awesome thing this Christmas (other than having two wonderful boys and family to celebrate with!): a WHITE CHRISTMAS!! It's the first in recorded history in the Houston area! In fact, a lot of the are got flurries but no accumulation - we had a true WHITE Christmas! It melted away late morning when the sun broke through the clouds, but we drove through snow to and from church. We came home to a blanketed neighborhood and when my family came over, we had a snowball fight! Gabriel made his first ever snow angel. We had so much fun!! (Thankfully Iain slept peacefully inside the open, sheltered door while we got freezing cold outside!) Anyhow, that was pretty awesome.

I'd also love to know what your little ones ended up with. I am thrilled with some of the things Iain got. He's been hanging on to a terry teether doll my sister got him - it's from Magic Cabin, called "Lil King" doll, I think. It has knotty hands, hat, head, etc., and a silk "tunic." He's been really grabbing it and holding on to it! She (my sister) also ordered two wood toys for him from Magic Cabin, and then I heard about Haba - turns out that's what they are! I was so jazzed.

It was all a little crazy with a two year old who knew just what to do with presents, and a 3 month old who had tons of things he couldn't possibly open. I barely saw my own gifts! But, it was good. I need to go through and write everything down. I'm going to attempt thank you notes! We'll see if it happens. I recently tossed the ones I wrote last year and never got sent.

Iain "gave" Gabriel a doll and accessories set from Tykie Diapers. He loves it!! He's been carrying his doll around in the sling, changing it's diapers, wrapping him up in a blanket, etc. SO cute!! I have to remember that he's practicing being a Daddy, though, and not a Mommy. :LOL I took some pictures tonight and will definitely be posting them later.

Well, everyone's finally asleep, except me, of course... I think I may go get my new PJs and some chocolate (from my sweet hubby who finally remembered I love Godiva! ), slather on some yummy lotions, and get some sleep!

As for c/s, I've had one c/s and an HBAC. I don't believe my c/s was necessary - now that I've had an HBAC, I've proved that it wasn't. Necessary c/s are a wonderful thing, but unfortunately many, many women are being coerced into c-sections without being fully informed of the risks involved (especially the risks for future pregnancies and the increasing difficulty in finding care providers and hospitals who will support a VBAC). For those of us who planned a natural vaginal birth and instead were dealt a c/s, it's emotionally and psychologically wounding, not to mention the major physical trauma. I've labored naturally twice, been sectioned once and delivered vaginally once. I would never wish a c/s on anyone. I am thankful that I have the perspective from which to offer support to those who have also had to go through the many pains of a c/s, and encourage those who wish to pursue a VBAC to follow through. That, however, is the only reason I know of for my c-section.

I'll be checking out pics and all soon... Off to slumber now!

HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
Founder of Houston Birth Alternatives: Be Informed, Encouraged, Supported birth support group and aspiring midwife.

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Old 12-26-2004, 12:27 PM
 
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Arghhh! Just lost my post, here goes again.

On c-sections, the problem I have with them is when they are preformed needlessly and when a woman elects one because she has been misled about how horrible vaginal birth is. When I transferred to the hospital with Jack (for pain relief after 36 hours of labor - not that the epi worked anyway) the attending doctor walked in the room (without having read my chart or talking to my midwives) and announced, "You are having a c-section" to which I replied, "No I am not". He then said he refused to be my dr, I said I refused to be his patient and 3 hours later I birthed Jack under the care of interns. Many other women who aren't such bitchy know-it-alls like me, would have gone ahead - because the dr told them to- and had an obviously unneccesary section.

I also think it all boils down to what I heard a doctor say on one of those "Labor and Delivery" shows talking about how as a doctor, you didn't really deliver the baby unless you did a c-section and how great he felt when he did them. I also agree with the Continuum Concept book, that discusses how birth is an important process for babies to go through, and one they expect to go through. That all said, I am OF COURSE thankful that we have modern medicine that is there to help us and our babies when things go wrong - just that we don't need it when things go right.
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Old 12-26-2004, 12:29 PM
 
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Wordy this morning...

Jack and Lucy got SO MUCH stuff, almost a little too much, so I'm putting some of Jack's stuff up and will pull it down during the year. Next year I think I will suggest that aunts/uncles and grandparents maybe give him "experience" stuff like a day at the zoo or something.

Baby crying, dh says breakfast is ready, must go...
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Old 12-26-2004, 02:15 PM
 
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Stacey, my problem with the whole c-section craze is that women are misled into believing that c-sections are no big deal and just as safe for mom and baby when they are neither. C-sections ARE a big deal and are much riskier than vaginal births to both mom and baby. Our bodies were made to birth babies and, as Sarah said, labor and vaginal delivery are best for both mom and baby. Now of course, I am grateful that there are doctors who are skilled in performing c-sections when they are necessary, I just wish they would stick to performing them ONLY when necessary.

Off to visit with in-laws.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 12-26-2004, 02:45 PM
 
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Stacey,

My cesarean was necessary, I suppose. My son was breech and didnt turn despite trying many methods. Since he was my 1st child, there was no one willing to let me try a vaginal breech delivery. I have since learned that there are several midwives in the area that would have, but I didnt know of that option at the time. The CS was scheduled for 39 weeks. He was much smaller than my other children (only 7.7 compared to 8.1 and 9.10) and had respiratory problems associated with his birth.

I actually feel that women should be able to choose a cesarean for themselves, BUT I also believe that women should be given full informed consent as to the risks that go with major abdominal surgery. And the fact is, women are NOT given true informed consent. This: http://www.vbac.com/cesareanrisks.html is a great site that gives summaries of many different studies showing the risks of cesareans. A few excerpts are:

*A study of women who gave birth in Washington State (USA) from 1987 to 1996 found that women who gave birth by cesarean were almost twice as likely to be rehospitalized as women who gave birth vaginally.

*A review of 15 studies concluded that women who had given birth by cesarean were at increased risk for placenta previa and the risk increased with the number of cesarean deliveries.

*Researchers in Finland investigated the occurrence of three long-term effects of birth by cesarean in the subsequent pregnancy; ectopic pregnancy, placenta previa, and abruptio placenta. This retrospective study compared almost 17,000 women who had a prior cesarean birth with a matched control group. The study found that cesarean section is a modest risk factor for ectopic pregnancy and an important risk factor for placental problems.

*The rate of maternal death associated with caesarean section (approximately 40 per 100,000 births) is four times that associated with all types of vaginal delivery (10 per 100,000 births).

Of course, those are just little snipets and you will have to go to the website to get actual links to the full studies........... I also just posted a link to a new study on the VBAC forum in case you are interested in reading more.

I also have a problem with cesareans being performed for a Drs convenience and a BIG problem with the fact that I AM NOT ALLOWED to have a vaginal birth in the hospital in my town! Yes, I know I could refuse and then get treated like total shit, but why would I do that to myself. I just cant believe that Drs have more of a say in how a woman gives birth then the woman herself and I will never understand why women put up with it!

Anyways, I dont mean to sound like I am irritated at you, this is just a subject that I feel extremely passionate about because of my own experiences.
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Old 12-26-2004, 08:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When I let myself dwell on it, I put a lot of coulda-shoulda-wouldas onto myself - I could have labored longer, I could have kept going without pain relief; if I had gone longer, maybe I would have dilated, but you know, this kid was 16 days late, and my body didn't seem to want to do what it needed to to get Tristan out. And you know, I don't know if I could have gone on longer. I had nothing left; I was physically drained.

I didn't want to have a cesarian birth, nor did I expect to. I did not think it was the experience intended for my son's coming into the world. I had no fear of giving birth; my mother had told me empowering stories about my own birth since I can remember. I still look at my scar and am very sad about what my body went through. But ... sigh, shrug, I dunno. What is, is; what is done is done. I do not feel, like some women do, like my birth was a "rape" of my body; all of the health care professionals I worked with were very respectful and no one even mentioned "c-section" before I did. The closest the midwife came after 11 hours at 4.5 cm was "you will have to make some decisions soon".

What makes me sad - and I'm glad that no one has done this to me (yet) - is when women are made to feel guilty about the choice they made to bring their child into the world. Yes, I chose a cesarian birth after I felt like I had done my best to birth Tristan and it wasn't working. And I still think I made the correct, informed decision, as much as I regret not having the experience of giving birth to him vaginally. Perhaps I should have labored for a few (10?) more hours to try to give my cervix a chance to dilate. And, you see, it just turns back into coulda-shoulda-woulda. And I'm not about those.

Thankfully, the strong women in my life who are very pro-natural-childbirth - Steph, my doulas Beth and Katie, and others - reassure me that I made the best decision and should not regret it because I have a beautiful son. I cling tightly to these words lest I start to second-guess myself.

My mom makes my son cry. This is hard to deal with.

j

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-26-2004, 11:22 PM
 
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Jen - you can't second guess yourself, especially when it comes to childbirth. I think it makes a big difference when you can choose and not when something is forced on you. You obviously had such caring and professional people around you. I don't think I could have managed 11 hours at 4.5 cm.

Jack got this horrible motorized toy on tracks thing today - plus my mother in law made him take it out of the box so we can't return it. I think it will get put in a bin and disappear. He just sits like a zombie and watches it go around.
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Old 12-26-2004, 11:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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- lambswool is *not* the most practical of materials for sweaters when you've got a spitty-uppy baby. But I got a lambswool sweater made by the company "Horny Toad" (no kidding, they're an outdoor outfitter).

- We are very fortunate to not only have received an Ergo baby carrier prior to Christmas (hooray for MDC and mama to mama recycling!), but we received as gifts both a day pack and a front pouch to go with it. We are SO excited to go hiking with Tristan this spring!

- Tristan received clothing off of his baby registry that I forgot still existed!

- I got the latest album by CAKE so that I can torture Jo. hee hee! Any other CAKE fans out there?

- Tristan received a knot doll from me (I will take pictures), and from his Great-aunt Doris a very sentimental gift, two "pet rocks" that my dad painted back in the 70s and gave to my grandma. They're painted as ladybugs. Sniff. Wish T could have a grandpa.

today my bro-in-law's parents came over and Tristan slept during dinner so I got to eat totally in peace. Can you believe it! He's napping now, though, and it's 8:30 - I'm worried about how he's going to sleep tonight.

Off to go enjoy myself before baby wakes.

j

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-27-2004, 02:56 AM
 
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First off Happy Christmas Everybody!!

A little belated but still heartfelt.

Lynsey- I am soo sorry to hear about your "Pa". Senseless deaths are so hard to deal with. I'm thoughts are with you and your family.

My thoughts on C-section. I've been blessed with three uncomplicated vaginal births so I don't have the perspective of experiencing a c-sect firsthand. I am thankful that they are possible and "relatively" safe. I do think they are used way to often and unnecessarily. Using MAJOR abdominal surgery shouldn't be a first option and unfortunately too many women are informed that it is their first and only option.

My SIL had two c-sects. Her first was because my niece was "breech". The doctor gave them the choice of "attempting" to force turn her which could result in breaking her arm (????) or c-sect. The thought of possibly purposely hurting my niece was unthinkable for my brother and SIL. Now the possiblity of breaking the baby's arm is very remote but that isn't the impression that they were given. : : And my SIL was only at 38 weeks. They didn't even give her the option of wait and see. So she had a scheduled c-sect and then fought infection afterwards. : She also had difficulty establishing a strong breastfeeding relationship because she was so ill after the c-sect. She didn't have any intention of getting pregnant again because the experience was so rough. They did eventually decide to have another child. She had my nephew earlier this year. Again she had a c-sect because he was "breech" and the doctor told her he wouldn't turn. Because her first child didn't. (they didn't give her time to! lots of babies turn between 35-40 weeks.) And because she really "shouldn't risk" a vaginal birth because she'd had a c-sect. : : And she was only 37 weeks that time. The whole thing makes me angry!! But not at my SIL and I would NEVER EVER say anything to her to imply that she made a mistake. I would never hurt her that way. I'm just so angry that a doctor took all her options away from her.

ANYWAYS, I'd never begrudge a woman's informed decision to have a c-section. I do think they are offered way too soon and way too often and unnecessarily.

Okay what did they get for Christmas...

I've tried to mention that the kids like wooden toys and I'd really rather not get a bunch of LOUD obnoxious toys. Most of the family on David's side did pretty good (his grandparents, 2 aunts and an uncle). One only bought them wood stuff. s

Tori got mainly clothes from us, I knew the Grandma's would get her toys. Her princess doll hasn't gotten her yet. : My mom decided to play the martyr (about her computer) and didn't get get the doll clothes that Tori wanted for "Baby" from American Girl and instead bought her some clothes instead (in pink which is now Tori's favorite color). She did get Tori the Mary Poppin DVD. Tori has only seen a couple of advertisements for it and couldn't stop talking about Mary Poppins all week. MIL got her a pink scooter, would have been nice if she'd asked us first but at least it has 3 wheels so it's stable. I'm glad we decided to wait on getting her a bike this year. David's grandparents & Aunt/Uncle sent two awful little princess play castle sets. It's really cheap plastic with LOTS of little tiny pieces (hello have to little ones in this house!)... and it plays horrible music and of course the battery is dying so it sounds even worse. I don't think you can replace the batteries. I was hoping to donate them and maybe get her a better quality castle set (at least something with pieces bigger than my pinkie... but alas MIL had to tear the packaging open and lots of little pieces went everywhere with Jack looking for them. : : I'm still thinking the set is going to disappear pretty quickly some night. (I've found most of the tiny pieces and stashed them away). The other Aunt sent a wooden puzzle set with bears where you can change their clothes. So far its a big hit.

Jackson got a Bright Eyes doll from us from JoysWaldorfdolls.com I was hoping he'd stop trying carry Tori's Baby around. Not that I have a problem with him carrying a babydoll its that Tori has a problem with him carrying HER babydoll. He seems to really like it. And a couple of wooden puzzles & some wooden blocks. He got a wooden barn sorting box from the aunt. He LOVES that, something about putting stuff inside other things... :LOL My mom got him some really neat tub toys and a couple of sweatshirt jackets. MIL got him this horrendous let me say that again HORRENDOUS powered truck with huge tires that moves back and forth. That wouldn't be so bad but it makes loud reving noises and saying some obnoxious saying over and over and over again... The Raminator!! She and her husband thought it would be funny, they knew I wouldn't like it but got it anyway... just wait until they move up here near us... that will be a wonderful housewarming present for them. :LOL It has already been designated an outside toy. Need to mention to her about wooden trains and trucks for when Jack's b-day comes up...

Aidan got a baby bunting doll also from Joyswaldorfdolls.com and a couple of Haba wooden teethers from us. A small set of wooden blocks from the aunt. A couple of wooden puzzles (that I've put away from when he's older and they won't be all roughed up). He also got a couple of plastic rattling toys. And a couple of cute sleepers and a cotton blanket.

Oh my mom also acquired this HUGE animal chair for the kids. It's a big lime green dragon. It will be going into the playroom. Really fits in nicely with the red, white & blue american theme in there.

Well, it's hard to believe that Christmas is over. It didn't really feel like Christmas until this past week and now its over. We've been so busy trying to get the house situated and unpacked to really decorate. I only got the tree done, my snowman collection and few odd decorations here and there. I didn't get to all the garland or the wreaths at all. Or the lights on the house (though that was David's job). And I didn't get to any baking either. I usually bake a ton of stuff for Christmas.

I can't believe it snowed in Houston!! : : It hasn't snowed there since the really bad ice/snow storm in Jan '97! Of course it would happen right after we leave Houston. When MIL and her husband got here Christmas Eve from Houston, there was still snow on the back of their truck. Tori got to play with it a little bit. Hopefully it will snow here in Austin sometime this winter. It was certainly cold enough this past week, just not enough moisture for snow. I miss white christmas's. I lived in New Jersey when I was in elementary school so snow was normal at Christmas. Talk about culture shock moving to Texas when I was 11. We had the A/C running on Christmas Day that first year (it was about 70 degrees out) so that we could have a fire in the fireplace. Just isn't Christmas without a fire!! :LOL

Well its late and I should got to bed while Aidan is sleeping. : : Oh I crack myself up.
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Old 12-27-2004, 11:04 AM
 
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I got an invitation to open a gmail account (google's new email system in testing phase) and want to come up with a really cool email address. Not very many people have it yet, so name opportunities abound. So far all I've come up with is [email protected], but am not neccesarily crazy about it. I don't really switch around accounts, so would like to come up with something really good. Any ideas? (although now that I saw it written out I'm liking it a little better.)
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Old 12-27-2004, 04:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2baldie
I also have a problem with cesareans being performed for a Drs convenience and a BIG problem with the fact that I AM NOT ALLOWED to have a vaginal birth in the hospital in my town!
The hospital in my town won't do VBAC's at the hospital. Once you have a c-section there, you can only give birth again in their hospital by a scheduled c-section. I'm not sure why.
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Old 12-27-2004, 09:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I did something today that I've never done, and I felt HORRIBLE about it: I was going to hand Tristan to my mom, noticed she had just had a cigarette (she REEKED), took him back and handed him to my brother-in-law. I hurt her feelings so badly... she cried. She tells me I am "fanatical" about not exposing him to any kind of smoke fumes. I felt so VERY bad about what I did. I want Tristan to have a relationship with his grandma, she's his only relative in town, but I am so obsessed with the bad effects of second-hand smoke that we hardly go over to her house and I don't want her holding him when her clothes are so smoky. She does not plan to or want to quit and constantly falls back on "well, we smoked around you and your sister and you two turned out all right".

Do any of you have experience with smoking friends/relatives and them handling your children? I could use some support. My sis took mom with her to the grocery store which gave us some necessary space, but I still feel like a total brat.

Tristan is charming his uncle right now. Yippee! Exposure to a man!! (He doesn't see a whole lotta men!)

xo, j. ps TIA for your tips about the smoking. PLEASE let me know if you have any thoughts.

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-27-2004, 10:07 PM
 
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I made my feelings known early on (when I was still preggers) about smoking, smokey clothes and nicotine on the hands when the baby is around. I grew up around second hand smoke, back in the days when mom had a baby in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I have suffered from asthma because of it. I get bronchitis 2-3 times a year. I'm hoping that being as "fanatical" as I am, maybe they will decide to stop smoking. When we go over to my parents house, we call them when we're on our way and they stop smoking in the house and open some windows to air it out. They also don't smoke in the house when ds is there. I told them I wouldn't bring him over if they did. They understand that a baby shouldn't be exposed to second hand smoke.

Stick to your guns. Your mom needs to understand that the whole "we smoked around you and your sister and you two turned out all right" thing isn't realistic. She should respect your wishes and it sounds like you feel very strongly about it. If your mom has to smoke, maybe she can wear a jacket so she can take it off and not smell so smokey. She should also wash her hands before handling him (something she should be doing anyway).

I feel like I may sound a little harsh. I hope not, but I feel strongly about it too. Babies get exposed to so much in the environment these days, why expose them to something harmful when they don't need to be. Maybe get your mom some literature on the subject??
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Old 12-27-2004, 10:08 PM
 
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Jen,
I really don't have any tips but I wanted to give you a and remind you that you are doing the right thing. One of the things that freaks me out most about second-hand smoke is that it contributes to the risk of SIDS. Maybe you could compile a list of the reasons second-hand smoke is bad for babies. Then give it to her and have a little talk. Start out with how much you love her and want her to be around Tristan and you know that she wants him to be healthy just as much as you do. Then maybe agree to some rules, like no smoking inside when he is there, always washing hands after smoking before touching him, or whatever. That way there's no questions. Everybody knows what is acceptable and you won't have to keep re-hashing it. That would be tough though.

How's his eye by the way?

Lynsey, how are you doing?

Sarah, I like the email name you chose!

Boy is misbehaving. Must need me.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 12-27-2004, 10:12 PM
 
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Yes Chrissy! I forgot about SIDS. There's the best reason not to smoke around baby.
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Old 12-28-2004, 03:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your thoughts, Mel and Chrissy. She doesn't seem to be interested in statistics, professional opinions, etc. e.g. After she asked me when I would start feeding him cereal since "you and your sister were eating cereal by 2 months and it would help him sleep through the night", I made a copy out of a book at my chiro's about the medical and developmental reasons to not start solids early - potential for allergies, tongue thrust reflex, digestive enzymes produced when teeth erupt, etc - she glanced at it and put it back down, saying "well, all those old wives can't be wrong" and "That's what your doctor told me to do".

My sister, bless her heart, took her with her to the grocery store right after our fight yesterday and allowed her some time to blow off steam. Turns out mom is just really tired of being treated like she doesn't know anything about babies. Granted, we are raising Tristan differently than she raised us - no feeding schedule, no early solids, no cry-it-out (mom wasn't exactly an attachment parent...) and we wouldn't be feeding formula if we could help it and I'm using an SNS anyway - but I can see her point, Jo is always being bossy about how she should hold him, to give him back because she's doing something he doesn't like, etc. But my mom doesn't listen to any of his cues, and she sometimes acts like she knows better than we do what he wants. She doesn't stop to figure out his cry, it's usually either "he needs to be fed" or "let me try to distract him" which usually involves bouncing or squeezing tightly. She doesn't seem to realize that he also cries when he's tired, overstimulated (which the bouncing and animated talking really doesn't help!), bored and wet. She doesn't think he should cry when his diaper is wet, either.

But she somehow raised two girls to pretty stable adulthood, so

Yet another plugged duct, the same one, it looks like. Think I already broke it loose but the nipple HURTS! on that side. Think I am the victim of a bad latch a couple days ago. Left the Lansinoh at home, though, grr.

Going to go help Heidi make cookies. xo, j

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-28-2004, 05:30 PM
 
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Jen - my mom actually orders Lucy to stop crying - yeah, that's going to work. I think most moms and mils want to prove so badly that they can make baby happy, that they just don't want to give them up, because they think it shows they "aren't good enough".
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Old 12-28-2004, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And now, to top it all off, she thinks that we don't want her to come in contact with Tristan at all, and so she's making a concerted effort to stay away from him. She has sequestered herself in the guest bedroom here.

Gosh, sticking to cats would have been so much easier.

grump,

j

: mama to T 9/04 and E 11/08
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Old 12-28-2004, 07:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sistermama
Jen - my mom actually orders Lucy to stop crying - yeah, that's going to work. I think most moms and mils want to prove so badly that they can make baby happy, that they just don't want to give them up, because they think it shows they "aren't good enough".
My mom loves to tell David to quit crying. "You don't have anything to cry about." WTF! He's a baby. That's how he communicates. My sister who claims she is never going to get married and never have kids had the gall to tell me I should start David on rice cereal so I can get a break from all the nursing. She acts like I have only had David for a week. Hello! I do have a 2 year old as well. I was so glad to see both of them go home today.

Loving Mom to DS (7) and DS (5).
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Old 12-29-2004, 12:57 AM
 
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Since I wrote a novel, I bolded the topics so you can pick and choose what you want to read. See how thoughtful a half a glass of wine can make me! Don't worry, Kate is having expressed milk tonight!


Jen, I totally understand your feelings about the smoking thing. My brother and sister once showed up here reeking of smoke after being at a bar. I freaked out and told them about second hand smoke and SIDS. I'm sure they thought I was being a b#$@!, but I figure my dd's welfare is more important than their opinions. It is hard to be the bad guy, though. I wish I had some advice. All I have is a hug.

And I can totally relate to you and Sara and moms and MIL's with the crying thing. Mine are always saying Kate is hungry, no matter which cry it is. I swear, she can still have a milk mustache and if she gives them a whimper (most likely because she doesn't like whatever they're doing with her at the time), they'll hand her to me and say, "This baby is hungry." WTF? And that "This baby" drives me nuts. Um her name is KATE!!

Speaking of...whenever I ask dh to put Kate down to sleep, he'll bring her back to me in few minutes and say she's hungry. It's like her expects to be able to say, "Go to sleep, Kate" and she will fall asleep (as if!) and if she doesn't, she must be starving. Very convenient. Oops..did I say all that outloud?

Csections- I was leaning toward choosing one until my placenta previa made the decision for me. I'm sure that sounds crazy, but my mom ;abored for 18 hours and then had to have one and Kate was breech and well...I guess I shouldn't have to justify what I do with my body. I'm glad to know where all of you who shared are coming from. I always assumed it was froma judgemental place, but from what I've read, your reasons have nothing to do with judgment. I did a lot of research, and I think a csection was right for me. I guess I was just curious as to your thoughts b/c when I tell Mamas I had a cesection, they usually respond with, "Oh, I'm sorry." And I'm really not. And if I mention that I kind of wanted one, they seem to judge me. It's confusing to me b/c most of these Mamas are pro-choice (and I'm not sure I am..completely... : ) but they act like I shouldn't be able to choose how to have a baby, only whether to or not?!?

Christmas gifts- Kate got 2 diapers from fussybutts. One is a hot pink FB with her name in white, and the other is a multi-colored monkey on an FB. I LOVE them, and Christy was great. She got them there in 2 days, even with the holiday rush. Kate also got one outfit from Old Navy, one Spanish picture book about princesas, and money for her college savings.

I can't believe it snowed in Houston!! It snowed for about 5 minutes in Dallas. The snow had pretty much melted before Kate even got up from her morning nap. :

Savannah, I got the onesie....so CUTE!!! DH loved it. I can't wait until Kate grows into it! Thank you!!!

Sorry to be so wordy. I drove 8 hours with Kate and now am halfway through a glass of wine. Ay, dios mio! Any tips on when the best time of day to drive with babies is? I thought morning, but it was sooooo rough...and afternoon was even worse...anyone know how the middle of the night is? I'm desperate!
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Old 12-29-2004, 04:01 AM
 
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Stacey - glad you're having a fun night! It really is okay for you do have a drink and breastfeed though. All in moderation! Your breastmilk stays at the same alcohol concentration as your blood.
article one
article 2

Jen - mothers, daughters, the guilt....

I'm so irritated because I am headed to NY tomorrow morning and do you think I can find the stupid muff for the carseat that I will NEVER get a chance to use even once? Of course not. Now I've wasted a damn hour looking for the thing and it is 1:00 am! I have to get up at 6:00!!! Arghhh!!!

Well anyway, hope you all have a good week.
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