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Nov 2004 Mommies-Dec thread

4K views 186 replies 25 participants last post by  Grantsmommy 
#1 ·
All is well here. I tried to use my sling, but I feel so tangled up everytime I try it. I have a Baby Bjorn that she seems to like...I'll probably just use that and take her out to nurse.

I'm thinking the diaper rash may be yeast...I read in the Bragg's apple cider vinegar book about a wash to try. I'll let you all know if it works.

We have in-laws coming from Boston for Christmas. They haven't seen the baby yet, so they're excited. MIL is a big help with cooking and laundry, so I'm looking forward to seeing her!
My grandmother is visiting now and she can't do much aside from occasionally holding Ava (as long as she's asleep and happy).

Haven't thought about sex here. We waited a long time with ds because I torn and was sooo nervous. I tore a little this time, but I'm not as nervous. I'll probably wait until 6 weeks just to be sure I've healed.

I got the cutest little outfit for Ava for Christmas. I'm an all-cotton freak, so I was excited to find something cute.

That's all for now!
 
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#2 ·
Sex? Yeah right... if I had the energy it would be put to other uses right now, like sleep. Glad some of you are feeling up to it right now. I feel like physically it would be all right, but I can't even think about it. Rant ahead, which would explain that... read at your own risk:

My toddlers having a meltdown right now and I can't deal with it. Dh left me crying in the kitchen this morning. He thinks it was because I'm tired. It was actually because he was complaining about being tired and warned me not to say anything "stupid" to our toddler. He's gotten up a total of 4 times in the middle of the night since Xander was born. And he's tired because he had to get up with our toddler for 5minutes last night? He could have acknowledged that I was crying at least, but seems to just ignore it. At this rate PPD will happen again, and I was trying so hard to be positive yesterday.

Sorry so down... hopefully I'll get to nap and that will change my perspective on things. I turned down shopping with my Mom and sister because it would interfere with even the hint of a possibility of a nap. Wow my perspective has changed.

Anyhow, now baby's on verge of meltdown... must go...
 
#3 ·
Ohhh..on the all cotton...I have the same "problem" LOL. I discovered when my eldest was just a little girl that acrylics have a milk product in them that would give her rashes ...since then I've been a natural fiber freak. I do bend sometimes, but I always prefer the good stuff..which is why my kids rarely have tons of clothing! If it was all up to me, they'd wear hanna andersson constantly


I haven't been slinging because I got a clogged duct yesterday that quickly progressed into a fever and I took to bed. I'm much better today..thank heavens for the nursing 2 yr old..he helped a lot, even though nursing him is bugging me still.

Sophie is just the most beautiful child...I can't believe how gorgeous she is!! Tomorrow she has a weight check, but she's so chubby I can't imagine it will be bad..she has rolls of fat on her thumb!!

well..I have to go kiss her...she's a little lip magnet...
 
#4 ·
Oh mamas, I need support...

The in-laws arrived last night and I'm already having a hard time! MIL doesn't understand AP and is saying that holding Livi all the time is spoiling her. Then she tried to convince me that we need a stroller, and that they will buy us one for Christmas. I tried to explain about slinging and carriers and she looked at me like I'm stupid and crazy.


My SO is at work, of course, so I'm stuck with them all day and they are here for a week. I know I'm supposed to be letting MIL hold Livi, but Livi just cries when she does.. MIL doesn't know Livi's cues or what she needs so it progresses to crying. I didn't think I would have a hard time with her holding Livi, but when she is I just want to take her back. She was fussing so badly this morning so I finally took her and put her in the sling, and of course she is asleep peacefully now.

Now I feel guilty because I'm wearing her and not letting MIL hold her, and they came all this way (from OH to UT). Someone please give me a hug and tell me how to deal with this!
 
#5 ·
Annette, I can totally relate! I was mad at DH this morning when he left. He gets exactly the same way when he has to get up for a few minutes with our toddler. He'll say "I didn't get any sleep last night." I want to SCREAM! They must be completely oblivious to the fact that we are getting up several times a night and for more than just a few minutes. GRRR... So, this morning, both girls woke up around 4 and dh had to get ready for work, so I had to tackle getting both of them back to sleep when I was exhausted myself. All I wanted was a few words of encouragement from dh and he offered none, just got himself ready and then said, "bye." THAT'S IT! So, I completely understand. A nap would do wonders, but I've got several papers to write before next Tuesday, so I doubt I'll be working in a nap today, unless I fall asleep at the keyboard.
 
#6 ·
Monika, I get the in-law thing... all of my SIL are warning against babywearing, and blame the fact that ds#1 wouldn't fall asleep on his own for the first year on us not letting him CIO. It's totally frustrating when it's someone so close to you who is putting on the pressure.

Thanks for the support Alisha... this is a longstanding gripe with me about Dh, his ability to offer comfort when I'm upset. And he doesn't get how tired I am or how much work the kids are. He actually said "You were more whiney this time than you were with Owen. With Owen you just swore" about Xander's birth on the way home from the hosptial 4 hours later. I was too flabberghasted to say anything at all to that. I'm still not ready to bring that one up constructively. Phew, that's the first time I got that out. He really is a good Dad. Wonderful, actually. And is a good husband, but I think with his Dad passing away end of October, and having a son, he's a bit stressed, and I try to remember that, but right now, I just need for it to be about me and Xander for a while.

Anyhow, back to productive thoughts... Is anyone going to introduce a bottle of EBM with their babes. Dh has it in his head that that would solve my problems if he were to give Xander a bottle in the evening so I can sleep. I say it's too early, even though he's nursing like a champ and want to wait until week 4. If you have already, how did it go? Ds#1 would NOT take a bottle, period. I don't want to risk our bfing relationship, but Dh is very adament that it will work and work well for everyone. I've done the reading, and now I guess just want to hear from actual mamas what you're thoughts are.

And the good news is, both kids are now sleeping (although Xander should be waking up with 1/2 hour)... so that's where I'm headed, and I hope some of you get some sleep too....
 
#7 ·
Meg, that "sucks" about the clogged duct...I experienced that about a week ago (fever and everything) and it was awful! Luckily it cleared up in about 24 hours by heating pad, nursing, pumping, and extra rest.

I can't complain about dh. He actually says he enjoys getting up in the middle of the night to hold Ava. I nurse her and then hand her off to be burped/held so I can sleep. I usually only do it once a night, and I'm less apt to wake dh if he has to get up early the next morning. He is very understanding for the most part. Maybe that is why I haven't had many weepy moments. I hope you other mamas can get your hubbies to shape up! We need all the support we can get right now!


I hear Ava in the other room crying...time to nurse!
 
#8 ·
Hi, can I join in?
I was on (mostly lurking) the December due-date board, since I was due December 13. My daughter was born November 22 (at 37 weeks, on the nose), at home... I'm finding new baby to be incredibly easy, but old toddler/kid to be incredibly hard. We're tandem nursing, as I'd hoped to, though I'm finding that to be harder than I'd expected, mostly due to my not-great feelings towards my older nursling, but we're working it out (what else can we do but work it out?).

Seems like a lot of us have two November kids (my first was due in December, also, but was born 6 weeks early)- mine have birthdays nine days apart- i see some joint birthday parties in their future.
 
#9 ·
Oh Monica,
I didn't see your post earlier, somehow missed it. I'm so sorry and can completely relate. I visited my family when dd1 was 2 mo. old and it was exactly the same. You'll make it. The good news is that eventually they give up on trying to change you and just accept that you and your parenting styles are "wierd" or "wrong". At least my family has. I still get commemts now and then, but not nearly as bad as a year ago. I'll pray this week passes quickly for you.
 
#10 ·
Everyone with the IL problems I can totally relate. My dh is the youngest of 6 boys - so I have 5 older (therefore they believe wiser) SIL, a MIL (she passed away 3 weeks before Bronwen was born but was there for the first two) and a step-MIL. All my SIL's were induced, epidural, longest breast feeding record - besides mine - was 3 months while most didn't at all. They all CIO, stroller, crib, etc. Totally mainstream. I has to put up with a lot of 'we're older and wiser and experienced since we already have children'. It's tough, but eventually they decide you are insane and stubborn and they can't change you
- then they just talk about your parenting behind your back.

For those of you wondering about sex, here's my 2 cents - go with how you feel, each birth is different. With my first I pushed for 3 hours, was extremely sore, tore a little upwards. Had sex at 8 weeks - yuck - it was uncomfortable for months. With my second, much easier delivery, we waited the customary 6 weeks and everything was fine. This time I think I physically could have the next day if I'd had the interest or energy. We waited 3 weeks and it was fine. Listen to your body. Also remember LUBRICANT! Breastfeeding tends to dry you out - hormones blah, blah, something scientific - plus your tissues are tender so if you need the extra help get it.

Bronwen is 5 wks today. She's very congested. I've been saying it for about two weeks and everyone tells me it's just normal, small nasal passages and all that. But if we use saline and suction her, we get stings of nasty boogers. They've been yellow all along; tonight she sneezed and it was greenish. Not good. She has her 1 month appt on Monday and I'm so worried they are going to want to give her medicine. I also don't want her sick. Ahh, the worries we have as mothers.

All of you who've lost all this weight, tell me how. I haven't lost anything. I also can't figure out how I'm supposed to expercise with a 5 wk old, 2 yo and 4 yo at home.Somehow I can't picture myself slinging Bronwen while pushing almost 70lbs of kids in a double jog stroller in my current - bad - shape.
 
#11 ·
unfortunatly I spoke too soon when it came to that clogged duct and feeling better..I've been nasty all day...I'm just hoping I clear up by saturday since I have got to get the xmas shopping done!

The baby has a weight check tomorrow..she's looking quite healthy and chubby so I'm not worried..we've been dgetting these great meals from our friends all week too..so I'm not losing any weight this week either!! I have to exercise as soon as I'm better because I feel fat and I usually get fatter when I nurse instead of skinnier.

I don't have the IL problem, though they are living here with us until April..they don't try to push their views on me at all...I got that from my own mother instead..luckily my mother gave up on me years ago..and hasn't even spoken to me in 4 years. I'm OK with that, by the way. I have not got the spirit to fight with her anymore, and I'm a stubborn control freak in many ways LOL
 
#12 ·
Meg, I had a clogged duct last week and figured out that the "hole" to it was plugged and had to pop a blister (gross) to drain it. Have you tried ice in your bra after a hot shower? It really helped me get the swelling under control and feel less pressure.

Karen, I hope Bronwen isn't sick.. that would be rough to get through with other kids... and she's too little for a cold, but I don't have to tell you that.

About my dh- we had a sort of long talk last night and I could tell that he feels bad and a little lost about how to help me. He said he doesn't want another baby because all this is too hard on me. He also doesn't know what to do with me when I'm a mess, so it's the classic wife is crying, husband needs to fix it, not just offer hugs even though it's what I need. All this will be a memory in a year and we'll both be pining for another newborn because we'll have forgotten how crazy it is that our kids don't sleep for more than 1/2 hour at a time from weeks 2-6, and I become a blubbering idiot.

I'm going out tomorrow to get a soother. Never thought I'd say that, but I am. Also a new set of bottles to try. I never thought I'd want to start this early, but I need to sleep for more than 2hours at a time just once a day. If I could even get one stretch of 3hours in bed with no baby on me, I would be in heaven. So my commitment to attachment parenting just got a little weaker
: , but at least he's in the pouch sleeping on me right now (cause that's the only place he'll sleep).
 
#13 ·
Monica I just wanted to give you a
I know just how you feel. I was *especially* like that with my first with people holding him. Really though, what your mil should be doing is anything that will help YOU out. Holding the baby is not much help. You can hold the baby while she cleans the house and does laundry! That is what my mil did when she was here and it really did help.

I'm doing okay I guess. Sam isn't sleeping well at night at all and then my older two have been waking up at 5:30. I'm soooo tired and it's wearing on me. I fought with dh today- well really we IM'd back and forth so it wasn't in person. I said I was in over my head and couldn't do this alone and he took offence and listed everything he's done around the house. He really has helped but it seems like I always have to ask him to do housework and I wish he'd just do it. He says he's doing all he can and doesn't see how he can do much more and then he went on to say that he warned me that having a third child would be stressful for me as the at home parent and I'm the one who made the decision to go ahead with it
Well, that doesn't help when I'm hormonal and tired. I know things will get better and it won't always be this hard.

On a positive note, Sam is a sweetie. He's alert and happy most of the time and soooo cute
I just went to the midwife's today and she checked me and I'm all healed and can have sex (I'm less than 3 weeks post partum). I think it would do me and dh some good so I'm thinking sex is in the near future. We weighed Sam and he's gained over a pound! Go mama's milk
 
#14 ·
Well..I'm feeling a lot better today..it's like my body is running through a bunch of problems all at one time but very quickly..today I felt like I had a bladder infection so I pounded the cranberry juice..now I think I was just dehydrated because I feel normal again..weird.

However...Sophie has green poo..sorry for the TMI..but I think I am having over active let down again even though I don't even feel it..I think I'm switching sides too often and plus Eli is nursing a couple times a day too..he actually crawled up on the chair today to get nursies..he's being really cute right now, hugging his bear and saying I yub you. Anyway..I think I have to take measures even though she's gained 7 oz over the last 6 days..almost back to birthweight now at 13 days


I have to say..I just make such pretty babies..gush gush..
My DH is going to be able to take a few weeks off to round out the year so I'm going to have lots of help..which is good cuz we're horrible parents who haven't bathed the new baby yet..(that's his job but he's been really busy at work). Anyway..I'm looking forward to it since he's like the only person I can let help me without feeling inadequate..yes i know I'm a nut..
 
#15 ·
Kari - if your dh is "reminding" you that he warned you about 3 kids and you still want to have sex with him... I would have went through the roof. I hear you on the sleep, Xander had a good night last night, but it's really touch and go here, and my toddler doesn't nap usually, and when he does, Xander is wide awake.

Meg - I'm the same way with help. Unless it's my Mom or dh I get really uncomfortable about accepting it. Glad he'll be off for a bit, that will be wonderful for all of you.

I'm feeling more positive today, but it's the weekend, so dh is home and my parents are taking Owen for the day so we can Christmas shop, so it's not a normal day, and I'm looking forward to it.

Is/has anyone else going to start trying to see if their babes will take a bottle of breastmilk? Be brutally honest if you think I'm nuts because I really need a bit of reality from someone here... I don't want to mess with our bfing relationship, but I do need some uninterrupted sleep to be a good Mama to both kids.

And I thought this would be fun... I want to get to know everyone's babies better, so can we all share something about our babe's personalities that we find absolutely endearing? (alright, I know that all of us would say everything, but I mean something either unusual or your absolute favorite thing, yes, pick something :LOL )

Mine is: Xander
s to have his feet rubbed. If he's really fussy and I get olive oil and rub his feet he's calm until I stop or whatever it is settles. He has the cutest feet!
 
#16 ·
Annette, on the bottles, I think you should be fine. From what I've heard it's best to introduce the bottle around 4-5 weeks of age. After that, they may start resisting it, and before you may have trouble. But, if you haven't had any bf'ing problems/latch problems, you should be fine to introduce it a bit earlier. With dd1 I had such horrible thrush that I absolutely couldn't stand to nurse her, so when she was 2 weeks old we introduced the bottle. She had it almost exclusively for a week while I pumped and then we went back to nursing. She did just fine. With this one, we've had some latch issues, so I'm leary of introducing it yet, but she will be starting daycare full-time Jan. 3, so I have to introduce it soon.

My favorite thing about Bronwynn. She smiles in her sleep and sometimes giggles in her sleep all the time. I just
watching her sleep. She must have some really good dreams!
 
#17 ·
Warning! Vent ahead!

Yesterday was awful! I was home alone with both kids all day. That I could handle, but I got another plugged duct, have a sore throat, am sleep deprived (aren't we all), ds was a maniac, and dd wouldn't nap. Plus my grandmother is in town and I was supposed to entertain her (which I bailed on). Anyway, I went to bed at 7:30 PM and feel much better today. Ava actually slept 5 (yes, 5) hours in the pack and play from 6 PM until 11 PM!!! I couldn't believe it. Of course, my breasts felt like they would explode, but....She seems to sleep one 4-5 hour stretch at night and then it's up every 2 hours for more milk. Thank goodness dh doesn't mind burping so I can go back to sleep right after she's done eating.

I need to figure out the sling. Any advice? I have trouble getting her in and especially out. Also, she seems so contorted inside there. Is that normal? I'd like to wear her more so I can actually get some things done. I'd especially like to start exercising, but she wants to be held constantly. I mean, she's almost 4 weeks old, time to cut the cord!
Just kidding!

We have a few errands to do today, but at least I've gotten a shower already. That's how I've started to judge my days. Success=shower. :LOL

Got to figure out Christmas shopping and what to do for everyone. It will be here before we know it!
 
#18 ·
Best advice for the sling is to see if you can make it to an LLL meeting and bug someone there..I am not good at the cradle hold myself, but am OK with the snuggle hold which, thankfully she likes.

Don't worry..every day won't be like that one..I've had a clogged duct going on too..and fevers too. sigh. I don't blame you on success-shower!!

Next LLL of Cumming is not this tues but the next one if you have not figured out the sling by then, see if you can make it..lots of sling wearin' mamas at that meet. Try looking in Dr. Sears' the Baby Book if you have it..if not, I do and can lend it to you if you need it..there are sling wearing tips in there too.

I'm off to get my GA license today..finally..talk about lazy..i've lived here almost a year now


Oh..my favorite Sophie thing is she tries to smile at me when I smile at her
 
#20 ·
Quote:
but she wants to be held constantly.
yup, lol Dylan thinks mamas arms are for sleeping. which is fine when I have been able to brush my teeth and go to the bathroom. Sigh, I have been on here for like 15 minutes, and it's a race against the clock! I have to shower before he gets up! Thankfully my older two are entertained by buzz lightyear at the moment!

oh about Dylan, he LOVES to be cuddled. Matt will always think he is asleep, and really he is just relaxing with his eyes closed. Oh man, wouldn't it be nice to be a baby and have us for parents?! sleeping, eating, pooping, no worries..... lol
 
#21 ·
Hey, I haven't posted with you guys in awhile. I've just been lurking.

Well Devon is 2wks and 2dys. He is still in that sleep all the time phase, except he nurses almost constantly, even in his sleep. No wonder he is getting a second chin.
I am kinda bummin right now Dh just left on a 8 day bussiness trip, so here I am with a 2 yr old and a newborn. Man this week is going to suck

On the positive note, my fav thing about Devon is he grunts and squeeks all the time!! In his sleep, while he nurses. It is so cute

Ta for now
Sandy
 
#22 ·
okay, i'm with you guys now on the whole milk-spray thing, heh--just out of one side, though! the right just leaks sometimes, but i get a high-powered stream out of the left one if she pulls off. whee. my supply already seems a little unbalanced, so i'm trying to start her off on the right side every time, to even things out a bit.

all's well around here, generally: she wakes up to eat but sleeps well in between, and i just never tire of looking at her. my mom's here and i'm loving that. my only current concern: there were just some green bits in with the poop in the last diaper i changed; do you guys know whether that's normal? she doesn't seem uncomfortable or anything. i did have some chard for dinner last night; is it possible that the color from that would end up all the way in her diaper?

meg, i'm so sorry about your plugged duct; that sounds really uncomfortable! i was getting kind of itchy nipples yesterday, but i swear that they feel way better when i use those lilypadz things than when i use regular breast pads. i love those things. oh, i looked at your photos again and yay, the hat fits sophie so well! neat to see it on her


lessee, my favorite thing about hazel...i think maybe the little half-smiles she makes in her sleep? or maybe the small humming noises she makes while nursing (hmmm...hmmm...hmmm), or maybe the smell of her head. do i have to pick?

gush, gush, indeed...

*jennifer
 
#24 ·
Jennifer..glad you got to see the hat on
She looks adorable in it..but lately she's decided she's not crazy about hats..every time she's in the car seat whatever hat she has on manages to fall in her eyes and upsets her. Oh, and I think a little green in the poo is OK as long as it doesn't go on and on...I'm dealing with green poo now and I think it's an over active let down..working on it!

No itchy nipples here thank goodness..the cotton breast pads I had for Elijah are working just as well with this baby..they have to be changed a lot, though.

Well...Sophie finally had her 1st bath and now nak...
 
#25 ·
I just want to say thank you to e/o for their hugs and support! I am surviving okay. Mornings tend to be hard, but I brighten up by afternoon. My SO really helps... I am so in love with him!


My favorite thing about Livi... oh, there are many. I guess just the way she makes me and my SO laugh, because she is so silly. Oh, and I agree on the cooing noises she makes while nursing or when she's really content! We nicknamed her Grunty-Grunty, or Gruntylina because she grunts a lot. Not only when pooping (although that is the main grunt fest) but if she is sleeping and you kiss her or something. She grunts like "Don't touch me! I'm trying to sleep!" It's really cute.

Livi slept 5 hours in between feedings last night! Woohoo! But she had her evening melt down from midnight to two instead of from 8 - 10 like she normally does. Eeek, that was hard. We really prefer the earlier version. Does anyone else's baby have evening crying fits when there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with them?

We had to introduce the bottle around week 3 because I had fed her until one breast was empty and pumped the other one dry, then she puked and wanted more. The only milk we had to offer was what I had pumped. She did okay with the bottle, although she didn't quite get it and would only eat in little bursts. It didn't interfere with nursing at all. I'm reluctant to try again, but I also have to work up to having her be bottle fed during the day. (sigh)

As for the sling, it was really hard for me to get her in and out. All I can recommend is practice, practice, practice. Each time seems a little easier. For getting them out I've found the easiest thing is just lifting the sling over my head and lying her on the bed in the sling, then lifting her out. Usually she won't even wake up.

Love to all!
 
#26 ·
Annette, we've already introduced a bottle so that I can get some sleep in the evenings and it's gone fine. I've done that with all three of my kids after bfing is established and never had a problem.

And on dh and the comment about me wanting to have the three kids, he was just pissed because I accused him of not helping enough and he's actually been doing a lot. Once he pointed out what he's been doing it did seem like a lot. I just get overwhelmed during the day when I'm by myself so I kind of lost it with him.
 
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