need help....leaving baby with dad - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 12-13-2004, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi!
I'm a momma of 2 boys. I work 32 hrs a week but mostly from home. I'm at the office 3 hrs a day 4 days a week. i have been bringing my 2nd son (7mo) with me and had been working in the am. i am switching back to afternoon hrs so that dh can take the boys (oldest is in pre school at a wonderful waldorf school). today was the first day and ds 2 cried so hard when they arrived home and i wasn't there. dh called and i rushed home and as soon as ds 2 sees me hes ok....doesn't need to nurse just needs me there. i don;t know what to do....i've go to stop having him at work with me all the time 1 cause he needs more interaction than i can provide, but mainly its 2, the boss doesn't want the babies around so much once they can crawl around...i really feel a responsibility to get back to really working when i'm at the office but also to the confort of my son and the importance of his needs......i think the hardest is that i did this same thing with ds1 and he made the transition no problem
any advice?????
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#2 of 7 Old 12-13-2004, 10:48 PM
 
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What if you say goodbye and leave from home while they're still there?

If that doesn't do it, what if your husband keeps the kids away from the house the whole time you're working for a few weeks?
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#3 of 7 Old 12-13-2004, 11:48 PM
 
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its really hard I know. I teach once a week and DH and the girls go to the in laws house so that I can teach out of the house. they leave for about 2 1/2 hours. it takes about 3 times for them to see that this is going to be a normal thing and then about 12 times to be ok with it. its hard I know keep up
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#4 of 7 Old 12-14-2004, 12:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We were actually thinking about not being at the house, but it is winter and there isn't that much to do kid wise around here that isn't outside...and there is no grandmas house etc to go to for us. I can't make the transition at the house cause time wise it just doesn't work....I really appreciate the thought and ideas though srain!!!!
Really bradly method mom.....12 times?????? So you guys just kept at it? I feel so guilty.....for leaving my son.... and putting my other son and husband through it all...but like Dh says we don't really have a choice, and thinking of it that way makes me mad....why don't I have a choice that puts my kids first ya know (I know I"m preachin to the choir but it just really bugs me). We are going to try him picking Ds#2 up a bit later today and see how it goes, but I am fearing all it will do is make the crying spell a bit shorter....
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#5 of 7 Old 12-14-2004, 12:38 PM
 
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maybe your husband can get a whole week's worth of errands done?

maybe he can take the kids for a brief visit at work and leave from there?
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#6 of 7 Old 12-14-2004, 01:42 PM
 
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I know it is very, very hard to know what your baby wants and to not comfort him... BUT he is crying because he wants his mama and from what you say that just can't be right now. It may take a week or more but he has to be okay without you. It's not like you're leaving him with a stranger or just left to cry. Your DH may be haggard by the crying, but HE needs to comfort your son and have him learn that DAD is there too. I would suggest that you don't run home to comfort your son.
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#7 of 7 Old 12-14-2004, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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srain...that'd be a joy to have a weeks worth of errands done!!!!!!!

dh really wwants this to go well too....it is really hard for him cause he and ds#1 have such a close connection....he has a similar connection with #2 but #2 is mammas boy first.....it is really hard to not rush home to him....but i do understand the point of, this i sn't going to change and it is his pappa, so it might just be somethinghe needs to adjust to....it still sucks though....
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