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Old 01-29-2005, 09:49 PM
 
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Julie-- it's totally amazing, but Mike and I have a nearly identical list of priorities, with one minor adjustment. We agree that we need to present a united front to the children and not undermine one another, but we also feel that kids need to see us talking with one another and discussing things we disagree on, so that they can learn healthy communication skills themselves.

I almost never read the Family Bed forum, but then I don't have any issues there. I avoid Gentle Discipline because, well, it's just never been helpful to me. Last night, I went all around the boards reading various threads and posting occasionally, but for the most part I stick to my "regulars." I am often misunderstood in other threads, and I get called all kinds of names; in fact, I can't remember the last time I commented on a thread and *didn't* get myself or someone else into hot water. It seems like every time I post somewhere, someone decides to take it all apart and misinterpret and the next thing I know I'm getting a PM from a mod saying "I'm sorry, you haven't done anything wrong here, but so-and-so this-and-that, please edit your post/stop posting to the thread/do something else and pretend that you never even read the thread/etc." I don't have the energy for it most days, so I avoid it.

I think that support here is extreme, one way or the other. There will be people saying "that's horrible, you suck!" or "you're a totally amazing momma and I wish I was just like you!" but rarely anything in between. Just once, I'd like to see someone say "it's not my way, but if it's your's, that's cool," and really mean it (you know, say it without being snarky). I think it'll be a really cold freaking day when that happens, though. *sigh*

Anyway-- tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and my "local" team (the team that all the locals around here are rooting for) is playing. Go Eagles, Go! :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 01-29-2005, 10:04 PM
 
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Anyway-- tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and my "local" team (the team that all the locals around here are rooting for) is playing. Go Eagles, Go!
Hey....I thought the Superbowl was next Sunday! Not that I care since the Steelers are out.
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Old 01-29-2005, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yes, I thought the Super Bowl was Feb 6 this year? And I wondered about that because in my memory it has always been in Jan?!?! Just like the terrorist attacks meaning we never see the Halloween Simpsons before Halloween now, because baseball, therefore the World Series, got delayed by one week.
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Old 01-29-2005, 10:34 PM
 
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Yeah, you guys are right, I just found that out. :LOL Okay, so I'm a space case. I suppose you can tell by that little gaffe that football isn't really my thing. :LOL

It's a huge thing locally, though, that the Eagles are going. FIL has been telling me for the past 4 or 5 years that they were going to win the Super Bowl, and they never have. :LOL We'll see!

BeanBean actually learned something really cool-- when he falls asleep at the breast, he tends to clamp his teeth down on the edge of my nipple. When he does that, I pull the nipple out of his mouth because it hurts like hell (especially being thrushy all the time). Most of the time, he wakes up and cries and gets upset, but lately I've been telling him that I can't nurse him after he's bitten me, and he can have a bottle of pediasure and a cuddle. Well, the last four times this has happened, it's worked! In other words, after I take him off the breast, I offer him pediasure and he either takes it or he just goes back to sleep without it!

This is a huge thing for me, and this little thing may actually make it possible for us to CLW. I'm just deliriously happy over this! Go BeanBean!

Miss BooBah is growing up so quickly! I really wanted to have her infancy be nice and slow so I could really enjoy it, and thus stave off my desire for another child until she's really old enough. She seems to have no desire whatsoever to oblige me on that count; she wants to walk and talk and eat food and sit at the table like a big girl. My baby, my baby! She should be staying mini! :

I think it's a good thing that parents can't really decide how quickly (or slowly) their child develops, especially during the early years, because we'd all want to be shifting them to our own purposes and that doesn't really help the kids. I'm really glad that I don't have the power to, say, stop my daughter from walking or to stop my son from climbing, because I'd be holding them back a heck of a lot. Wow, that's embarassing to say! :

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 01-30-2005, 01:12 AM
 
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Rynna ~ I totally know what you mean. I was nursing Lil tonight and I realize how much her face has changed. She is really beginning to transform from baby to toddler.

It's so bittersweet. On one hand I am so excited as she becomes more communicative and fun to hang out with but on the other...I just can't believe how fast it's happening.

Julie ~ Thanks for you post. It was really great! DH and I have not taken the time to articulate our family goals. We did some pre-marriage counseling and kind of laid out our shared values but I think it would be very valuable to really set some intentions for our experience as a family.

Liz ~ I bought my very first bag of sposies this week before the big blizzard just in case we lost power and I couldn't do laundry. I felt the same as you like I wanted to tell everyone...I don't really use sposies...we CD...these are just back up.

Once we weathered the storm with no problems I was even considering returning the unopened packeage but DH convinced me to keep it...just in case. He suggested that I put a few sposies at my mom's house and in my car so if I ever get in a jam, I have them. I was curious so I used one for no reason at all....just to check it out. It was like just crossing that threashold of "never using sposies" to trying them was a relief. Like ahhh...I don't have to be the "perfect NFL mama" (that's kind of funny considering all of our superbowl talk :LOL but you know what I mean).

Yesterday we went to my dad's retirement party at a restaurant and I put her in one of the sposies and brought another to change her into. It was really nice to be able to pack so light so I think in moderation we will be incorporating sposies from time to time.
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Old 01-30-2005, 12:57 PM
 
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Erin, I buy sposies from time to time too for dd to sleep in. We also use them when travelling. We learned with dd that a long drive with a load of dirty cloth diapers really isn't that much fun! At the store I also want to say, "hey I only use one of these at night. I use cloth the rest of the time!" I also want to say things like that if dh requests that I buy some horrid junk food for him! :LOL

Does anyone know what happened to Donna (Wildthing)? Thinking about the advice some of us have gotten on other threads makes me wish she was around. She's a mama of 7 or 8, so I'm sure she would have lots of useful advice for us if we needed it. I haven't seen her around the boards at all.
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Old 01-30-2005, 01:28 PM
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Last time I heard she was having some trouble finding time to get on the boards with her business and her babies. I miss her a lot too.

I took myself off the subscription to the other thread. I am such a curious person I can't resist looking at it if it is in my email box, even when I know it is probably just going to make me mad.

You should have seen me last night! I made dh sit down and I scrolled through our recent posts saying "look, I actually said something cool!!" :LOL

I don't know if we are doing anything for the super bowl. I am pretty sure dh will be working.

We use both sposies and cloth. Oddly enough, he sleeps better in cloth-he tends to leak out of sposies, even huggies. We live in an apt and have to pay for laundry. I just can't afford to be shelling out 4.50 every 2 days just for dipes. The sposies enable me to use cloth at all, as weird as that sounds. And the cloth give his bum a break from the sposies. It works for us.

Rynna-we disagree in front of them all the time, well not fighting/yelling and we really don't have differing opinions that much but you get what I am saying. We just don't disagree about parenting in front of them. You know, writing that I am trying to remember the last time we really fought-yelled at each other. I think it was before Tain was born. Like I said before, no nicotine and no bcp make me a much saner person

Speaking of Tain and babies growing up...We just bought him a booster seat. He can't possibly be big enough or old enough to use the real seat belt! It is the kind that has a back and seat. It's actually pretty cool, it has little lights in the headrest so he can do things at night and now he can reach the window controls easier and he is so much happier being fully upright instead of slightly reclined like a carseat. Overall, it was a good choice for us but it is weird that he is a little boy now instead of a toddler/baby.

He is asking me to read a book!!!!!!! The last 3 days he has actually sat and listened to stories. He really likes curious george books. This is so special for us, he hasn't liked books until now. Dh and I are avid readers and it was breaking my heart to have a child that didn't like books.

Gotta go!!
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Old 01-30-2005, 01:35 PM
 
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There's so much to respond to. But I know I won't hit on everything.

Julie, I really love the way you talk about your DH. It sounds like you guys are on really solid ground. Also, I very quickly read your thread on the family bed forum. I just wanted to say that HBH's post is very similar to what we did with our oldest DD. I was going crazy trying to get her down at night and at nap time...I mean really getting mad crazy b/c she'd do things like poke me in the eyes as I was drifting off to sleep and just other mean things like that. In our situation, I was actually stimulating her more by being there. So we started a very structured bedtime/naptime routine which involved cuddle time in bed together, a few stories and prayer. Then I'd give her special teddy and tell her I'd be back to check on her a few minutes. Or if she asked me to lay with her, I'd do so as long as her eyes were closed and she was laying still. If she started messing around and trying to play, I'd just get up and say "even if you aren't going to sleep right now, you need some quiet time and so does Mommy". And I'd just check back every few minutes...sometimes just peeping my head in the door to make sure she was still in bed. I found that this kept me from getting angry and helped her settle too. We started this a little before she turned two. I still lie down with her sometimes but the minute she starts picking at me, I get up. But this has all been a very personal thing for me b/c I can be quite nasty when woken up and I figured it was better for her to go to sleep on her own than have her Mommy freak out and yell at her. (I once told my dh to "go away and never come back" when he woke me up from a nap and this was when we were only a few months into dating each other!)

On another note, I've been wondering about Donna too?

Gosh, I can't remember what else I wanted to say in response to other folk's posts. But I did want to tell you that Flora loves sweet potatoes! I've figured out she doesn't want me to feed her at all. And even though she's just starting solids, she doesn't need pureed food. So I over-baked some sweet potato and cubed it for her. She ate almost 1/4 of a big one and loved, loved it. So exciting to see a child really like their food (my oldest DD does not enthusiastically eat many foods). Oh and she's working on her pincer grasp too. She's not got it down yet but she's trying.

Well, I'm being asked to play so I'd better go.
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Old 01-30-2005, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Rowan really likes food but is sleeping better every night that he doesn't have solids during the day. His only solids now are bits of toast or pasta or things like that from my plate. I'll take sleeping over solids, I think. I wonder about it because he certainly enjoyed the baby food and was not really eating much cereal- mostly bananas and sweet potatoes, and his digestion was fine, but as I said, if it's a choice between sleeping and *anything* it ain't no choice at all.

Funny the conversation about disagreement over parenting in front of the kids- at my neighbor's house last night, hanging out, and the two boys (12 and 8) were told often to shower and get to bed, etc. Eventually they're bathed and the older one went off and the younger said he was starving, so his mom told him to make himself something quick. His dad was livid that she "undermined" his authority as Parent (they had both been telling the boys to get to bed, but papa is rather nasty about it IMHO) and barely spoke to her after that and nastily said goodnight to her, didn't look at me, and went off to bed. The boy quietly ate his sandwich, cleaned up, kissed his mama and said goodnight, about five minutes later than if he'd gone to bed when told. It's so weird and passive-aggressive, that by his very actions the Dad created the situation he accused her of, rather than just adding his two cents to hurry up or something. So they're perpetually in this dynamic and of course she's the one who has a rapport with her children while he's this figure that only gets more stern and they respond to him less and less. She's by no means permissive, and we have that conversation all the time at our house, anyway; everyone does. I'll say, "what are you doing? Go to bed?!" and dd'll say, Dad said I could eat something first. And I say oh, okay. I don't get all freaked out that my Authority as House Manager has been called into question or threatened. Some parents are just nuts. They try to make up in admonition and rigid "discipline" what they don't give in true support and affection.

Shameless gossip!

Rowan is eating toast as I type (does anyone else love Rudi's organic bread?!) and making a HUGE MESS. The one disadvantage to a strong-willed baby. Lots more cleaning up! And there are times when you are in a hurry, and just *have* to spoon food into a baby's mouth, you can't let them feed themselves and then clean the kitchen, bathe them, clean the bathroom, put in the newly created laundry, etc!!!!!
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Old 01-30-2005, 03:08 PM
 
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DH found them this morning...the two bottom ones! Hee...hee. SO exciting!
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Old 01-30-2005, 03:49 PM
 
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DH found them this morning...the two bottom ones!
Cool!

Julie, sposies definitely have their time and place. If I had to pay that much for laundry, I'd probably be looking for some disposable clothing! :LOL Oh, and the other thread has changed it's tune. Several of us posted there and another poster has apologized!
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Old 01-30-2005, 06:14 PM
 
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Hi everyone!!!

I have been away for a long time. I was just thinking about everyone this morning when I woke up, and I had a PM from LizD in my inbox.

Yes, life has indeed been busy. Where to start.....my home day care keeps me hopping, my on-line biz has been buzzing, and my kids keep growing. My oldest dd is in college, my second has been applying to colleges, taking her SATs and such, my oldest ds has been doing better with his school issues (not exactly ADHD, but not exactly NOT ADHD), my 11yo, 8yo and 5yo have the mellowest schedules, Gunnar turned 3yo this month and is still nursing, and has issues that we are trying to work through, and Landen...well Landen did finally get 2 teeth last week. He is still one of my smallest babies, he can still fit into 6-12 month size clothes! :LOL Here is Landen a couple of weeks ago. He is scooting everywhere, and like to get up on his hands and knees but doesn't do a proper crawl yet. He doesn't eat any table food yet, still just nursing. Last dr visit I think he was 21 pounds, right around 6 1/2 months.

I didn't get to read the entire thread here (430 replies!!! ) , but there were a few things I wanted to respond to.
AP....We co-sleep, I breasfeed my babies until they are ready to wean, I sling my babies, I cloth-diaper, I use gentle discipline, etc., etc.,.....But I don't call myself AP. I am simply a mother, parenting my babies and children the way that is most natural to me. By taking on a label such as AP, I would feel as though I need to do it *right*, or *by the book*, and then I would end up feeling guilty for some reason or another. For example, when Codey and Gunnar were babies, they grew at phenomenal rates. They both weighed 20 pounds by the time they were 8 weeks old. I simply could not physically sling them for long periods of time. I had to use the infant car seat (aka-baby bucket) when I went grocery shopping. At the time, especially when Codey was a baby (he is now 11yo, and it was then that I was first hearing the term "Attachment Parenting"), I felt like an AP failure. I was embarrassed. How insane is that? I felt as though I didn't deserve to have a baby if I couldn't carry them non-stop.
I have parented this way for 19 years. Melisa slept in our room, in our bed many nights. I was still trying to follow the mainstream when I had her, but it didn't feel right. When Kayla was born, 17 years ago, I said screw the mainstream, I am going to do this the way that is right for us, and I am not going to apologizefor it, or feel I have to explain it to anyone. Now, I still parent the way that is best for us, and most of it is what is considered *AP*. But I have my limits.
I am not a martyr, that isn't good for anyone. I take care of myself, which makes me able to take care of my kids. I have basic human needs, and if those needs are not met for myself, how can I help meet those needs for my children? Yes, my children come first, and they are my priority. But what good does it do them, if I go without eating because I am too busy, or sleeping because there is too much to do? I will be unhealthy physically and emotionally. I do things for myself. Not a lot, really. I sew, I enjoy sewing. I learned how to knit. When I really NEED a break, when I NEED to do something for myself, I tell my kids. They understand. Yes, they do understand. My 3yo understands when I say "Mommy needs to finish eating, then I will get your drink." My 14yo ds understands when I say "I need to go take a shower, please keep an eye on the baby." And my older girls understand when I say "Daddy and I need to go out and talk for a while, will you please watch the younger kids for a couple of hours." They see that self-care and self-preservation is important. They know that everything I do is for them. They are what keeps me going.
Babies have needs that are more pressing and demanding than older children. I will drop what I am doing to meet the needs of a baby, whether it be a diaper change, a nursing, or just holding them because they are fussy. A toddler can wait a little longer, I think. Gradually, as they become less egocentric, they can empathize more and consider another person's needs. So, gradually, I am able to do more for myself. In the end, I feel that they learn a lot about treating themselves with respect, which makes it possible to treat other well.

Dh and I have similar *rules*. We do not undermine each other, ever. If we disagree with something the other has done,we talk about it away from the kids. If we decide to alter some direction, we do it together, as a united front. My oldest has been trying to play us off each other lately. She is 19yo, but is still a dependent child living at home, so still has the same rules as everyone else. Curfew, etc. She was not allowed to go out one weekend because she lied to me (she said she finished her chores, which were basically just to make sure the laundry was dried before she left. Instead, she took the wet clothes and hid them in her closet so we wouldn't know. She was grounded for the weekend), and she tried to tell dh that I was wrong, that I was over-reacting, that she really needed to go see her boyfriend. He told her that if her consequences were already given, he wasn't going to change it without talking to me. As it was, the consequences stood, and we told her that we will not respond to her trying to play us against each other.
Our other rules have to do with conflict. When we argue, sometimes it is apparent to our kids that something is up. We do disagree (okay, argue) in front of our kids. But I think it is okay for kids to see their parents disagree. Darren and I never call names, we never swear at each other, and we never attack each other no matter what. We keep our comments to the matter at hand. My kids see this, but they also see us come to resolution as well. Other people may not agree with this, but I feel it is important for kids to realize that A)two people who love each other can get angry at each other and it isn't the end of the world. B)They see how to argue/fight/disagree respectfully. C)They can understand and not be afraid of their own feelings of anger. D)They see human responses to situations that come up in life.

Well, this has gotten pretty long for my first time back in months. Glad to see everyone again.
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Old 01-30-2005, 06:34 PM
 
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Donna, good to see you! I was also wondering how you were doing, and when I logged on and read that others were thinking of you too, it just struck me as very cool . Sounds like you're having a fun, busy time.

Mike and I finally went to a Friends Meeting this morning. Mike went to the actual meeting and I took the kids downstairs to the nursery, where I read the books and chased BeanBean. :LOL It was really neat, everyone was very nice, and I really liked it. Mike did too. I think we've found something worth waking up for on Sunday mornings.

The (kids) books were fascinating to me. I really like the respectful attitude that they have towards children; Friends believe that the Spirit of God comes to all people equally, regardless of age, and that really comes through in the way kids are treated in the books and in reality. It was such a nice change of pace! I'm looking forward to going next week. They have the kids upstairs for a little while, and then the kids go to First Day school and the adults have the Meeting. I'll probably stay with BeanBean for at least a few weeks, to make sure that he's comfortable and happy (the easy part) and that he won't run away (much more difficult). :LOL

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 01-30-2005, 09:52 PM
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yay donna! so glad to hear from you. I really liked the way you responded to your dd, helps me know that my current frame of mind will still work when the boys get older. Landen is so cute!! I also agree that if you are able to fight "clean" it is good for your kids to see disagreements. A friend of my mom's once told me that she thought a big reason her marriage wasn't healthy was that her parents never fought in front of them so she grew up thinking you weren't supposed to fight. She became a placator at all costs. That isn't a good or equal relationship.

Two teeth Erin! How exciting! I thought Ro was teething but there's nothing there so I guess they were either moving around or it was something else.

Rynna-how awesome for you guys! I love the way UU's treat children too. Your format sounds really similar to my UU church and very different from the Friends meetings around here. I'm glad for that, it would have been a bit of a disappointment to not have it work with your little ones.

I'll have to check out the thread again.

Ro is waking at 5 am again. My SAD doesn't work well with waking in the dark. I'm frustrated. My bro moved out again and we have a playroom!! i am so excited to be less cluttered and have some adult space. the boys still sleep with us but their dressers are no longer in the bedroom. Our bedroom now looks like adults actually inhabit it. I gave the boys the biggest room so hopefully we won't have toys everywhere. I also got some space back in the den. Ahhh, it is so nice.

I am so grateful I have you all to talk to...
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Old 01-30-2005, 10:07 PM
 
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hi donna! great to read your post! landen is beautiful!!

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I am so grateful I have you all to talk to...
definitely...don't know how i'd stay sane without all of you!

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Mike and I finally went to a Friends Meeting this morning. Mike went to the actual meeting and I took the kids downstairs to the nursery, where I read the books and chased BeanBean. It was really neat, everyone was very nice, and I really liked it. Mike did too. I think we've found something worth waking up for on Sunday mornings.
that sounds great! congrats on finding such a cool place!

susan ~ how are you doing with your solo adventure?
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Old 01-30-2005, 10:24 PM
 
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Hey Erin! Thanks for asking. I'm starting to get used to it I think. Dd wasn't feeling well during the night and then most of today. That made it a little hard. She has a stuffy/runny nose. I pumped a cup of breastmilk for her this afternoon. She drank it and took a nap and now she seems fine. Pretty interesting! I am lonely, of course. That's why I've been posting so much! After tonight I only have one more night alone. Tuesday my dad is coming and then on Thursday I'm going to my mom's house until dh gets back on Monday.

You guys might think this is crazy, but do any of you still get scared when you're by yourself at night? I don't mean scared of someone breaking into the house, but scared of silly, supernatural type stuff? I still do. It doesn't keep me from functioning or anything. It's just silly little thoughts about walking into a dark bathroom or something. It's just something I have been waiting to grow out of my whole life and I never have. Ok, feel free to think I'm completely nuts!
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Old 01-31-2005, 01:04 AM
 
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Susan, yeah, I still get scared about stuff. Including would-be intruders. And ghosts too. I have a dog and two cats that are all the time freaking out about stuff that kind of feeds my anxiety. I actually stay out of certain rooms when I'm up super late at night by myself or DH isn't here...they don't have good drapes and I don't want people (ie the boogieman) to be able to see that I'm home alone.

Hey Donna!

Julie, yay about the space! I bet that just puts you on cloud nine.

Not much time to post but I have a question for those of you with older children. How do you keep your older children from interrupting when you are trying to get your babies to go to sleep? I have asked, pleaded, yelled, diverted, bribed, etc to keep Isabel from disturbing Flora when I'm trying to get her down and at least once every other day she ruins a would-be nap. Sometimes I am able to be real cool about it and just let it roll off. But other times it makes me mad as a snake. Tonight being a mad as a snake night. I mean, she has TWO parents at home. I'm upstairs in my room nursing Flora, and Flora is drifting off...and in barges Isabel "MOM WHERE'S MY ...". And the child only has one volume and that's LOUD. So of course Flora startles awake. And the thing is I am very consistent about reminding her to be quiet, telling her to go get Dad, giving her attention when I'm done, etc. Then an hour and a half later, when I think Isabel is asleep, I go up to try to nurse Flora down again and not five minutes into it Isabel is calling me, loudly, "Mom...Mom....Mom...MOM!". Of course DH has the game on downstairs so I have to abandon Flora and go see what Isabel needs. So now, Flora is still awake. I'm just too pissed off to lay there anymore. She's in the kitchen with DH listening to the game. Arrgh!

So what is your trick guys? I know this whole getting her to sleep thing is only going to get harder as she gets older (if she's anything like her sister).
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Old 01-31-2005, 02:42 AM
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Agh, if my dh was home, HE would be the one in hot water. It doesn't seem like too much to ask that he prevent my older one from waking the other. That said, I usually put a movie on. Most of the time he will come in at some point, but I make him whisper and be still on the bed and he gets bored. And I get mad. But at least he is able to keep his voice down. I don't know, Ro is easy to put down. I feel for you, though. Let us know if you come up with any tricks, I can always use some!

Erin- I wanted to say that I am amazed at how you remember who everyone is and what their dh's do and what is going on with them. I read the posts, but it all seems to blend together, I have a hard time remembering which dh goes with which mama! Anyway, it is really considerate and it makes ppl feel so loved.

Scared...I hate going to the laundry room at night. I have to go outside, to the end of the building and then down a flight of stairs to the basement. The light is always off and it terrifies me to unlock the door, not knowing if someone is lurking down there. AND there is a little storage space directly across from the door so when I am leaving and see my reflection, it always looks like someone is lurking in there. *Shivers*. I hate having a nightlight on in the bathroom, I don't see well and don't turn the light on to pee in the middle of the night and my hazy reflection in the mirror always creeps me out. It's worse when our toothbrush is plugged in and the light is blinking-then it is an eerie green flash reflection. Dh gets spooked worse than I do. I think most ppl don't grow out of it, even though they won't admit it. That is why Blair Witch Project scared the beejesus out of me. Ro is losing it...
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Old 01-31-2005, 03:06 AM
 
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I let Roland play a computer game while I get Caitlin down for her nap. They are interactive, so even though hes not in the same room as me, I just put the speaker volume high enough that I can hear if the game stops. As long as the game is going, I know he isn't getting into mischeif He likes the Sesame website & www.uptoten.com (Boowa & Kwala) He the computer, so it's pretty easy to get him on task.

I don't get spooked easily anymore, but I used to be scared of everything (seriously, I was borderline agoraphobic) so I've had to build a bunch of fear busting skills that I automatically flip on whenever I'm nervous. I'm more likely to be like that outside... like bringing clothes in off the line or if I forget something out in the yard & have to fetch it after dark

Kevin put the drapes up today & installed the bathroom sink!

~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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Old 01-31-2005, 09:44 AM
 
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Yay Kevin! Gosh, that kind of thing (installing sinks and hanging drapes) goes a long way in helping you feel taken care of doesn't it? My heart goes pitter-pat every time my DH does something like that.

Erin, I totally agree with Julie rwt to you remembering names and details.

Back to the getting the baby to sleep thing/dealing with the older kid. I won't let Isabel touch the computer...if we had another one, I would. But I use this machine for work and I already have to fight with DH for it and don't want to add Isabel into the competion for it. I'm surprised the thing hasn't blown up as much as it gets used. At some point, I'm hoping to get a new machine that is solely mine for work and let this one become the family computer. But back to the main topic here...I don't really worry about Isabel getting into stuff anymore...she's never really been the type and now that she's almost 4 she's pretty good about knowing what's off limits. So I feel confident leaving her downstairs to play for twenty minutes while I nurse Flora to sleep. I mean, she'll make a mess down here, but there's very little she could really hurt herself with. But she gets bored. Even when she's totally in her own little world playing, she wants me in the same room. So when she comes up looking for me, that's when she wakes Flora up. I do the movie thing sometimes and that always works. I just hate to rely on that for every single time I have to nurse Flora to sleep. I think maybe it's time to have a family meeting and just reiterate to everyone how hard it is to get Flora down and how we all have to be super quiet, yadda, yadda.

One thing that is making things harder right now is Isabel is sick. She's got a bad cough and sounds like Lauren Bacall. But she's having a hard time sleeping. She woke up at 2:30 last night...Dh went to her and fell asleep with her in her bed. She woke up at 4:30 to pee and he sent her downstairs to go...well she got sidetracked playing! So at 5:00 DH got her back to bed and just got up for the day. Of course I woke up at all these key intervals too. I'm keeping her home from school today. I pray none of the rest of us get this.

On a positive note...dh got paid! We've been very tight the past couple of months and I'm so happy to be able to go grocery shopping today. We had garbage soup last night which was good but it's hard to get excited about it. I think I'm gonna buy a chicken today.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:54 AM
 
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Kevin put the drapes up today & installed the bathroom sink!


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Erin- I wanted to say that I am amazed at how you remember who everyone is and what their dh's do and what is going on with them. I read the posts, but it all seems to blend together, I have a hard time remembering which dh goes with which mama! Anyway, it is really considerate and it makes ppl feel so loved.
Awww...this is me reading this: :LOL

Re: being scared...

I have always been an anxious person. When I was a teenager and was home alone or babysitting I would be a wreck...mainly about someone breaking in to the house. After moving out of my parents, I've always had roommates and now DH. Since having Lil and being home alone most of the time, I've gotten better. I still don't really like coming home after dark to an empty house though. I try to get home before dark or sometimes I'll make up errands to do until I know DH will be home.

Scary movies, books, and lately even the news or Oprah (she's had some intense shows lately) really affect me and give me nightmares and anxiety for weeks. So since getting pregnant I've been consciously sheltering my exposure to disturbing images, sounds, words etc.

Anyway...on a MUCH lighter note...have you guys every heard of Petit Bateau clothes?

I had a gift certificate for a fancy kid's clothes shop from my former co-workers that I just finally used. They were having a half price sale so I bought Lil a one piece creeper with feeties. It's like 80 something percent cotton and says "not intended for sleepwear" all over it so I'm assuming it's not treated with fire-retardants. She's in it now (still sleeping upstairs with daddy )and OMG it is SOOOOO cozy, soft and warm. The woman at the store said this line of clothes washes really well and holds up for multiple kiddos.

I could never afford to buy the clothes full price but I will def. be on the lookout for that brand on consignment or at thrift shops.

What else? DH and I traded chores this weekend until I got overwhelmed with his chores and called the whole thing off! Seriously I was such a big mouth. He was going out to shovel the driveway and I made a big stink about how he needed to stay inside and hang out with Lily so he was like...ok, wifey...do you want to go shovel the driveway?

I said yes without thinking and man was I regretting it. But while I was out there DH wore Lil on his back and cooked us dinner! I could see them through the window as I was heaving piles of snow.

Yesterday he was like ok...so today my chores are that I need to bring wood into the basement for the week (like 10+ wheelbarrow loads) and carry water out to the barn critters. I was like...thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate all that you do SO much more already!!! :

Last night he did a VERY thourough cleaning of the kitchen before coming to bed. I was SO pleasantly surprised this morning when I came down expecting to have to deal with kitchen mess.

Ahhh....as one of my best friends always says....appreciate the perfect moments!!

Off to make some breakfast before Lil wakes. Have a great day mamas!

~Erin
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Old 01-31-2005, 11:36 AM
 
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What a nice perspective you gained. And a good reminder for me too. I can't imagine having to drive away from my babies at 6:30am and not see them all day until 6 pm. I can't imagine having to deal with other people's teenagers all day. Poor DH. I'm glad I can work in my sweats and roll around in the bed with my babies all day.
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Old 01-31-2005, 01:25 PM
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Erin

Ro went down fine last night but woke around 11 or 12. Dh brought him in to me twice but each time he would just toss and turn and wake up. I finally got up with him at 1:30 and didn't get back to bed until 3am. I got the playroom put together yesterday so he jsut played, happy as a lark all that time. Now it is 8 and I am up with him again. Right about now I would love to strangle dh. Yesterday he got up warly with Ro but woke me and got 2 hours of sleep before he had to go to work. how much you want to bet he isn't going to get up and give that to me today? And he didn't even offer to get up with Ro this time. Like I don't have to be functional too. I know in his mind he's thinking that I can take a nap and he can't, but naps are a shaky thing over here, sometimes we have them, sometimes we don't so I can't depend on it.

Anyway, Ro is calling from the playroom...
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Old 01-31-2005, 01:52 PM
 
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Seedling, when my dh is home, he keeps dd downstairs while I'm nursing ds to sleep upstairs. It has been hard without him here. Dd has come up to the bedroom yelling and talking and she has waken up ds every night so far. So he ends up getting a 1/2 hour or 45 minute nap at around 8:30pm, then he's up until 11 or so. By 10, dd is ready for bed, so I have to lay with her with ds squirming and unhappy on the other side! Ugh. Frustrating.

Glad to know other people still get spooked and scared too. I watch the series Carnivale on HBO. I'm kind of addicted/obsessed about it. Well, I decided to catch the new episode that was on at midnight last night. I was a bit nervous because the show usually freaks me out. Bad idea! About 10 minutes into the show, I was scared sh%&less. I was actually searching for the remote with my eyes closed so I could change the channel ASAP! Now I'm left with this horrible image burned into my brain! Should've known better. I'll go ahead and admit that I'm a little bit weird like that. Always been fascinated by scary things! I love being scared, but only when I'm not alone!
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Old 01-31-2005, 02:40 PM
 
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Argh! I just had the worst night ever... Killy went to bed at the normal time, but while DH and I were BDing he woke up. That's fine, we take a break so I can nurse him, and then DH and I continue. Killy slept another couple hours, and then the rest of the night was pure hell! He woke up every little while, bit me while nursing (he's teething and has nipped me several times this week, luckily never hard enough to draw blood or anything), kicked me, scratched me, pinched me, and the final straw was when he was swinging his paci leash (very cool leash with wooden beads and a big clip with a wooden bead over it that attaches to his clothes) and hit me in the face with the big clip-end of it! At that point (I think it was about 5am) I told DH that he had to take Killy out of the room and let me get some uninterupted sleep without getting hit, or I was going to loose it. So DH took Killy down to the living room, put him in the jumper and put on a Baby Einstein dvd. Killy jumped for about 1 hr 15 min and then DH went to get him and he snuggled up and slept with me till about 10am this morning. Why did he have all that extra energy? The only new food we tried yesterday was sugar snap peas, and he napped normally during the day. It was awful! And I feel like crap today...

Rynna - thanks for the suggetion about cutting out comfort nursing to promote ovulation, but Killy has never really used me for comfort nursing - he prefers the paci. I have such a letdown, and a bit of oversupply, that he gets frustrated trying to comfort nurse because there's tons of milk. He nurses and then when he's full he grabs his paci to put it in and then falls asleep. I had awful cramps the night before last, though, so I think maybe my body is gearing back up for cycling. :

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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Old 01-31-2005, 02:46 PM
 
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Hi everyone! I feel like I haven't posted in awhile. It's been a crazy week. Maddie's birthday was yesterday so I was trying to everything ready for her parties. This year we did a kid party and a family party. She had a blast although Lauren's nose was out of joint. I think it's the first time that it really was ALL about Maddie. Lauren up to this point has been able to "help" Maddie at her birthday parties abut this year Maddie didn't need any help.

Donna- It's good to "see" you. I've been wondering about you too.

Not only does Erin remember everyone but she also remembers what you posts! I use to have a memory like that and then I had kids!! :LOL


I still get freaked out about silly things at night. Like if we have all gone to bed and I need to go back downstairs in the dark I get all spooked. Also I have a real hard time sleeping if dh is not home. I don't fall into a nice deep sleep until he gets into bed.

HBH- Congrats on the new sink and curtains!

We have to go buy a new dryer today. I'm meeting dh after work at Sears. He has been trying so hard now for two weeks to fix it and it looks like it really needs a new motor and that's not something he can do. He's really bummed. He was feeling so "cool" because he took the whole thing apart and put it back together again but it didn't help our problem. We really didn't want to spend the money on a new dryer right now but it's either that or going to the laundrymat several times a week. With 3 kids it's just not possible.

I gotta go get Lauren off the bus! HAve a good day everyone!
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Old 01-31-2005, 02:49 PM
 
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Queenie!! We had a night like that Friday night...and lo and behold...two teeth emerged Sunday. Maybe a connection?

Quote:
and the final straw was when he was swinging his paci leash (very cool leash with wooden beads and a big clip with a wooden bead over it that attaches to his clothes) and hit me in the face with the big clip-end of it!
We call that Lily's numchucks (sp?) when she starts waving her leashed paci around. Everyone needs to duck for cover!!
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Old 01-31-2005, 02:50 PM
 
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Wow, this thread has been busy! :LOL

Getting scared-- I hate to say this, but for me fearing strange things happening is a sign of impending or active psychosis, always. I am a bit superstitious, but when I become *fearful* it's usually a sign that I'm about to crack. Of course, I am a nut job for the most part, so I suppose it's a little different for me...

The older child-- well, very recently BeanBean has learned to stay quiet while his sister goes to sleep, but it only works if *he* is fairly calm and happy. In other words, I solve the problem at night by putting BooBah to bed at 9:30 or 10, when BeanBean is usually wide awake and playing happily with Mike. If I can get her to sleep early, I can snuggle up with BeanBean and he's happy. This morning, however, BeanBean woke up and SCREAMED, which woke his sister; they were both very unhappy so finally I told BeanBean that he needed to be patient and quiet and I'd nurse him as soon as BooBah fell back to sleep. She did, but when I rolled over he was already asleep, too. So I got another hour and a half of sleep myself before BooBah woke up and wanted to play. She played, ate a graham cracker, nursed some more and now she's back to sleep in the sling, and Beanbean still hasn't gotten up yet. Hopefully when he does, he'll do it quietly.

Erin-- I love shovelling snow. I will trade just about any chore with Mike (except dishes-- yich) if he'll take the kids. I'm usually thrilled to do it. In fact, Mike called me from work this morning and asked me what I plan to do today and I told him that I'm sending him and the kids out of the house for a few hours so I can get some things done. He wanted to know where he was supposed to take them and I told him that quite frankly I don't care if he stands in the backyard for two hours, just keep them out of the apartment and out of my way. I've got some things i need to sort and get ready to mail. I'm hoping to make it to the post office tomorrow morning. I've also got to get my niece's history and grammar and math lessons ready (those things never get done at my mom's house), so I'll be plenty busy.

I have heard of Petit Bateau-- all stuff I can't afford at all. :LOL That's one of those brands that you don't even find in thrift stores, like Hanna Andersson; people keep that stuff in the family.

I used to watch Carnivale. I really liked it-- what a freaky show! But I haven't seen anything past the first season, and of course we don't have cable anymore. I should see if my mom has it on On Demand and watch some tomorrow. I really miss On Demand. I *still* miss it, and it's been ages since we've had it. Ah well.

I think I hear BeanBean. That's really cool; he's not screaming, but I think he may be awake and looking out the window. He's probably looking for Mike. Poor little guy! He just hates it that Mike has to go to work.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 01-31-2005, 03:05 PM
 
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That's one of those brands that you don't even find in thrift stores, like Hanna Andersson; people keep that stuff in the family.
Oh you'd be surprised! I have a bunch of HA from the Salvation Army in the "rich section" of the city. I guess whoever "threw them out" didn't know how coveted they are!! I scoop up any HA I can find...even if it's miles to big for her.

Can you tell Lil is taking an extra long nap this morning? :LOL I'm just away while she's sleeping. I'm also cooking...and I keep needing to come in to the computer to look up recipes...while I'm here I *have* to surf MDC.

John took Lil grocery shopping for the first time yesterday. It was heavenly. I was able to really get lost in some cleaning/organizing...which I actually enjoy doing when I have the time.

Back to my creation. Trying to re-create something I had a restaurant. I think it's called potato poundies. It's mashed potatoes with all kinds of veggies mixed in.
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Old 01-31-2005, 03:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dharmama
Oh you'd be surprised! I have a bunch of HA from the Salvation Army in the "rich section" of the city. I guess whoever "threw them out" didn't know how coveted they are!! I scoop up any HA I can find...even if it's miles to big for her.
Wow, that's cool! I've never seen a Hanna in a thrift store anywhere! Although I have found Zutano and Papillon in a consignment store.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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