Happy New Year!
We had our movie date. Kevin brought home Finding Nemo for Roland, which we watched before dinner, then he got his teeth brushed (no puter plan worked ) and fell asleep during the news. Caitlin boobed & napped while we watched Spiderman 2. It was good.
~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.
Our oldest woke up this morning and started throwing up. I was already concerned about her because she has a cough that just won't go away! SHe's had it for 2 weeks now(I know bad mommy!) so I think that we are taking a trip to ugent care. I spoke w/ our doctor this afternoon and he is worried about pnemonia(sp?). She doesn't cough that much during the day but she will cough ALL night long and really hasn't been sleeping well for three or 4 nights. This morning her cough sounds different too. Dh is also not feeling well. His stomach hurts and he's currently in bed. It looks like I'll be at least taking Lauren and Lily to Urgent care. I hate having to drag Lily w/ me but I don't know how long I'll be gone and I don't haave anything pumped for dh to give her. I just hope everyone gets better SOON!!! It's been a long couple of weeks.
About toddler brushing-- we don't have a problem with it at all. Of course, I've got weird TCS issues surrounding it all. I figure that it won't hurt him if he doesn't brush every now and then, and more importantly I know that he's willing to let me or Mike do it as long as we let him hold the toothbrush first. So it's all good for us. Of course, BeanBean doesn't have any dental issues and as a family our teeth are fairly healthy (read: not extra-prone to carries) so it's much less of an issue for us than for some.
I think Miss BooBah is growing-- she looks taller and feels heavier. She's also throwing up a lot less since she started solids! The more I think about it, the more I think that her nephrologist transposed two numbers and that's why he thought she wasn't growing well. I'm feeling good about her growth today.
Oh, and the best news of all! Mike said I could take $25 off of our charge payment this month and get myself some jeans. Well, I was able to get a whole outfit for that!! Including ( drumroll ) A BRA!!!!! : : You may think I've gone too far with the smilies this time, but this is a *HUGE* deal-- it was only $6.77, and hanging on the rack. I saw it and thought "wow, that bra is enormous, I've never seen one that big in a store before..." I got closer and saw that it was a nursing bra, and picked it up. It was almost too good to be true-- it's labled a 42 G, but I think it's actually more like a 40 I (which would explain why it was returned). I tried it on and it fits me like a dream; my boobs are perkier than they've been since before BeanBean was born! I'm so happy and so excited and I'm wearing it right now and you wouldn't believe the difference it makes in how I feel, just wearing a bra that fits so well and is flattering on me. HOORAY!!
The jeans are cute too- they were $7.82, and they're roomy in the thighs and seat but not in the waist (because I don't have a waist anymore : ) and they're very flattering and cute. I got an adorable sweater top with the remaining money and I'm just so pleased with the world! I knew it was depressing, but I couldn't have told you how demoralizing it is to wear clothing that doesn't fit until I finally got some that does. Life is decent today, for sure. And there's Miss BooBah, who's just put herself to sleep for the second time today. Sweet! :cool
Killy woke up at 4:30 crying his eyes out and completely congested, took almost an hour of propped up nursing till he fell asleep able to breathe. His nose is a bit runny today, but he's better. He was super fussy yesterday, but it was my fault because I've drunk milk the last two days. Our pediatrician said it would probably be okay to add milk back to my diet after Killy was 6 months, but it still seems to bother him. Ah, well... at least I love Very Vanilla Silk. (skim milk is just so much cheaper!)
To chime in on the recovery-from-birth issue... Everything is back to normal, mostly. I had lost all the weight at 4 months postpartum, but have since gained 8-9 pounds! Eek! So now I'm going to have to make myself buckle down and exercise every day. I'm also working on cutting out refined sugar and flour from my diet. My new year's resolution is to loose 20 pounds and then get pregnant!
To be honest, though, DH and I are not doing anything to prevent pregnancy now. We both can't wait to have another baby! I don't think I'm fertile yet, though. No AF so far, Killy is still nursing at night and eating very little solids, BUT I've started having some cervical mucous and (sorry if this is TMI) natural lubrication during sex - so I guess my hormones are starting to get back to normal. Anyone know if this means I should start taking a hpt once a month to check?
Kevins brother just stopped by to get the trailer & dropped off a present for DH & Roland's birthdays. A digital camera... I guess this is a hint to take more pictures!! Theres going to be a link to a picture of Caitlin as soon as she wakes up from her nap!! She's only a teensy bit rashy this week. I don't have any picturesof her on the web yet without rashes. Squee! This is exciting!
~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.
James is on his second day of being clingier and fussier than usual and fighting sleep harder. I think perhaps more teeth are imminent.
ETA: Rynna, I bounced up and down with glee when I heard about your new clothes. Congratulations!
i just bumped into my neighbor at the store and I asked her if she thought her 12 yo dd would be interested in coming over 1-2 afternoons a week to help me. She said she *knows* her dd would be THRILLED to do it. I told her I'd stop by this week and we could work out the details.
First of all
I am so excited about this. I have been feeling like I need some support during the week (DH works LOOOOOONG hours) for a while now. I think this could really help me to get some housework/cooking done. Yay!!
And now a question...
Any one else have a helper? What's the going rate these days? Around here babysitters get $10 per hour but I'm thinking a helper might get a litlle less because I'll be there and she won't have to do as much (dinner, baths, bed etc). But I also don't want to be too cheap?
I was thinking maybe $6 or a$7/hr...does that sound reasonable?
I'd *love* a helper, but Kevins hours are a little odd. Our day starts at 5 -5:30am, but he's home from school by 4pm, so an afterschool helper wouldn't do me much good. Now, if there was a homeschooled kid around here, maybe he/she would be available during the day... ? Now you've gone & gotten me thinking!
Anyway... heres some pics from our new camera (I'm going to be driving you all nuts with this, be warned)
Perplexed about the flash:
He's a ham! http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...ture%20006.jpg
The Tooth: http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...tlin_tooth.jpg
I'm done now.
~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.
I'm intrigued by the mother's helper idea, I've been thinking of one myself for months. I'll be interested to hear how it works out.
Uh oh, awake baby..
We're thinking of waiting until Lil turns one to TTC so I don't have to stress about my milk supply during pregnancy and...plus I'd really prefer not to have a winter baby (I'm so spoiled now after having a June-bug) but if it happened ahead of schedule, we'd be thrilled...especially after it took us 9 mos to conceive Lil.
HBH: great pics! What a great gift...a digital camera!
Hmmm...a mother's helper..wow! and $10/hour...that seems like a monumentous wage for a pre-teen!..but maybe i'm responding emotionally b/c i can't imagine the luxury of having a "helper", let alone paying $10/hour...and although it may seem that not having a dh/dp and a 'helper' might lead some to be prone to postpartum depression, I can only speak for myself in saying that frankly it's often empowering knowing that you are making it all happen and its all you...sure it's exhausting to feed your dc every few hours all night and to be the only one changing all the diapers, doing all the diaper and other laundry, cooking all the meals, and nurturing your child. I'd say it does leave me pretty clear on why most single/unsupported mommas would not choose to breastfeed...but when your child is your priority, you don't have the "luxury" of self-indulged depression...
oh, and kava kava is not terribly expensive...try a tincture version and you will get the most direct impact...Herb Pharm makes a good one...after this post, i'm thinking i'd better go take some myself...
Originally Posted by freegirl23cat
...and although it may seem that not having a dh/dp and a 'helper' might lead some to be prone to postpartum depression, I can only speak for myself in saying that frankly it's often empowering knowing that you are making it all happen and its all you...sure it's exhausting to feed your dc every few hours all night and to be the only one changing all the diapers, doing all the diaper and other laundry, cooking all the meals, and nurturing your child. I'd say it does leave me pretty clear on why most single/unsupported mommas would not choose to breastfeed...but when your child is your priority, you don't have the "luxury" of self-indulged depression...
Which means I ought to get to sleep, and get it while I can. I doubt we will have any pregnancy/-threatening action until after dh has the big V, since one of us will die or be divorced if I get pregnant again.
I still get annoyed with my neighbor over her comment at the delivery but that's kind of irrational; I am more annoyed with myself for either inviting her in the first place or being annoyed with her itself. Mostly I enjoy thinking back over the birth and wish I could do it again someday but I am going to have to work on accepting that's not happening. And truthfully, a few hours after Rowan was born I said to dh, you don't have anything to worry about because I don't think I want to go through that ever again.
QoC -- If you visit the TTC threads, someone will be able to post a link to a site where you can buy loads of pregnancy tests for super cheap. I am hyper-aware of my fertility signals (and mine also spell imminent return of ovulation, though I can re-suppress by enticing BeanBean to nurse more, which isn't exactly difficult) so I probably won't be testing often. We are still actively avoiding pregnancy as best we can, so I will test immediately if I suspect, but other than the occasional bouts of paranoia... I'd reccommend getting a copy of "Taking Control of Your Fertility" (or the cheaper option: borrow it from the library and memorize what you want to know :LOL) and a basal thermometer before I suggest testing once a month, just because it's less expensive and I get the added bonus of filling in a chart. (I love charts. )
A mother's helper-- sometimes, I really wish I had one, like last week when Mike had to take a day off work because I was hallucinating from the Prozac. Some days, I wake up and just think "I wish I had someone to chase the kids while I ______." Then there are times when I feel like super mom: I've got both kids latched on, and then I stand up and maintain both latches while I find the telephone and toss it onto the kids using my toes, and then answer it with my nose and wriggle it up to my ear. Sometimes I feel like super mom for smaller things, like when BeanBean has a booboo and just needs a quick nursie or BooBah will only settle for me (a rare occurance; it usually means that something is wrong and only I am aware of it, i.e. poopy pants).
At the super mom moments, I think it'd be fabulous to have a dozen kids. At my less super times, I feel that I am a less than adequate parent to two. In my "I've got loads of money and can do whatever I want" fantasies, I have loads of kids and I have helpers, but sometimes I wonder: If I need help, does that mean I can't handle the kids and therefore shouldn't have them, even if I can "afford" them? But even in my fantasies, I need helpers. I need someone to do the dishes and cook the food and clean the house while I'm doing all the fun things with the kids. Someone to come along with us when we go out so that the toddlers can be taken to play areas and someone can walk the 8 year old back to the car when they forget their sweater and I still have enough hands so that noone gets lost when we cross the parking lot.
I'm going to talk to my doctor about getting some BuSpar, because the Wellbutrin is helping my depression but certainly not my temper. Perhaps once I have my brain well in hand (wow, that's an image! :LOL) I will feel differently. But I'm really curious about this. Would it mean that I can't handle so many kids if I felt the need for a helper? Would it mean that I could handle them any better if I didn't have a helper? I dunno. Maybe I'll start a thread.
As far as how much they earn-- I have no clue. You've got a number in your head; why don't you ask her what she thinks is fair, and then compromise? Perhaps money isn't terribly important to her, but she'd like a ride to the mall every now and then who isn't her mother, kwim? You never know what she'll ask for, cash or otherwise, but I don't think it can hurt to ask.
|when your child is your priority, you don't have the "luxury" of self-indulged depression...|
I grew up with a single, clinically depressed mother. She used to sit down on the couch literally for weeks at a time, never moving to do more than get something to eat or use the bathroom. She'd sit with the remote in front of the TV and not say more than three words, unless they were angry or demanding. It wasn't luxury or self-indulgence that drove her to that state, or even that her children weren't a priority, it was her refusal to seek help or even admit that there was a problem. Admittedly, the drugs for depression back then were very limited, and the fact is that admitting that there was a problem when we were very young would have put her in an awkward position-- that of having to potentially give up her children to become a better parent. Still, I believe that there were things she could have done, if there hadn't been so many people (as there always are) saying things like "it can't be that bad," "just get up and do ___," and "it's all in your head." That's the legacy of thinking of depression as a "luxury" or "self-indulgent behavior."
Sorry for the rant, but that's a bit of an issue for me.
Originally Posted by eilonwy
Is BooBah the only Junebug with no teeth yet?
Rynna- Congrats on your clothing score! That's great! I love it when I find great bargins!!!
HBH- Your pics are cute! Your dd's rash is so much better!
Dh let me sleep in this moring. I woke up at 10:00am! It felt so nice! He let me sleep in yesterday too. I don't know how I'm ever going to get LAuren on the bus tomorrow by 8:40. It's going to be a tough week. The time off has been nice.
I have hired a mother's helper a few times. I pay her around $5 an hour and I usuallu pay her at least $15. She's a great kid and is a certified babysitter. She just turned 13 so I haven't left the kids w/ her yet although I might leave the older two w/ her and run errands. I had thought about doing that this week but everyone was sick.
Lily has become "mouthy"! She YELLS all the time. Like this morning at 7:00am she was awake and felt that everyone else should be awake too so she kept yelling until dh decided to take her downstairs to play. She usually smiles after she yells. She's so proud of her voice! She's yelling inbetween nursing right now. She nurse a little unlatch yell smile and then latch back on. Is she complaining because the milk isn't coming out fast enough? Or is she saying thank you for the yummy milk or something else? I just don't know! Silly baby!
After staying up until 4 a.m., during which time he flung the Xmas tree lights all over the livingroom floor and dumped my chair massager into the playpen, thus creating huge hazards in both of the places where I always lay James down, dh refused to take his turn at getting up with James this morning.
For fuck's sake. He hasn't been to the office since Thursday. He doesn't have to go on Monday. All the baby wants is a jar of fruit puree and a couple of hours of largely self-directed play before he goes down for his nap, and MY PIECE OF SHIT HUSBAND CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS ON ALTERNATE HOLIDAY DAYS?
We are throwing down about this. I will not tolerate it.
Gotta go, he's about to pull the air purifier down on his head. Since he's not in his playpen, you know, since it's filled with my chair massager.
(bangs head on desk)
Sorry if I brought up a sensitive issue about having/affording/needing outside help. I was just about what's going on in my world.
QoC ~ I understand the essence of what you were saying. As someone who has experienced debilitating depression (though not PPD) I have often felt the key to me staying healthy has been my family support (including dh). I don't know how I could have made it through some days if not for calling my mom, who raced over to help.
Jodi ~ I appreciate your reminder that not all families have two parents. Likewise...not all mamas have their own mama to depend on. One of my best friends lost her mom before having children. I often wonder how she got through the tough times without being able to call her mom for support/advice.
Smitie ~ DH and I had a patch like that last week : : It was bad. But we finally talked about all the stuff that has been building up and made up which was good!
We have some bigger projects around the house and for that I might ask dd to watch Rowan and pay her $5 an hour- a week's allowance- for doing just that. We already made clear this arrangement does not extend to a half hour here or there while we are making dinner! But I need to finish the walls I started taking down when I was pg and so on, and of course he always wakes the second we get to the point of no return with any project, so I figure dd can make some extra money, which she loves. And her $5 weekly allowance has $1 deducted for her charity envelope, which she saves all year and then makes a donation, usually to an animal welfare organization, like orangutans.
FIL is in town and already at work. Dh is at legitimate work today so our friends, who are also AV engineers, are doing a photo session of FIL with his suit and his bassoon. They were fighting with him about photos being in focus so I left and came home. I know they were going to force him into a turtleneck (it is JAZZ he is playing, but he refuses to look cool), and I haven't heard from them yet. After this we are supposed all to do something together, but who knows how long he will overstay his welcome there. Dd wants to go to the beach, so perhaps we will manage a late-afternoon jaunt to the ocean. It is very hot here again. But the beach should be lovely.
Rynna, you've really got me wondering now about hallucinations. I had a few after Roland was born, around the time I started on Paxil. It's pretty blurry, but I think I remeber thinking that it was a good thing I'd getton on them, because my depression was obviously worse than I'd thought. IF the hallucinations were caused by the medicine, would they have continued? or stopped eventually (there were only a few weeks where I was having them)
I didn't tell anyone about them at the time, because Kevin doesn't beleive in depression (I know!! ) and it would've really pissed him off. The scariest hallucination was when Roland woke up crying & when I went to him, bugs were crawling all over him, so I started running down the hall to get a can of Raid. I only took a few steps & then realized what I was about to do & ran back to brush the bugs off with my hands. When I got back to him they weren't there anymore.
Anyway, the way I look at having a mothers helper is, maybe some people can't afford NOT to have one. Even if it causes financial hardship. It's sort of like part of an alternative treatment option for PPD. Medication is necessary sometimes, but other things can make a big difference, too. The medication gives you the drive back to do all the things for yourself that help reduce the depression. Like personal hygene, and getting out of the house for some fresh air & sunshine, and preparing healthy meals. A person with PPD is likely not being self-indulgent enough. The medication has always set off that domino effect for me, and then I'm able to wean off the meds. I don't need them again as long as I can maintain healthy levels of activity, nutrition & sleep (I'm lacking on the last at the moment!)
If I had a mothers helper, I could take a shower & a nap during the time she was here. I'd try to arrange it so that Caitlin would be awake while the helper was here, so Roland could have 1 on 1 time during another part of the day (Caitlin has me 1 on 1 all evening every evening) Yep... I've been thinking about this alot. I have an easier time eating healthy foods this time around, because I've got to feed Roland, and I just eat when he eats. Food was a big issue when Roland was a baby... Kevin called on his lunchbreaks to remind me to eat! :LOL
One thing I have done, that most people could probably afford if it's availible where they are, is grocery delivery. I go on a website, click on all the foods I want for the week & it shows up on my doorstep! Theres a $5 delivery charge, but I'd burn at least $3. in gas (Canada... something insane like 50% taxes on gas here) so really, it's just $2. It takes 20 minutes to get an order in, so it's a monumental time & hassle saver. I do it once a week, so we always have plenty of fresh veggies & fruits in the house. Before we started this, we'd put off grocery shopping until the cupboards were bare, the freezer was empty, and we'd ordered pizza as a last resort... so far less healthy than now. The groceries come in cardboard boxes, so theres built-in entertainment for the rest of the afternoon for Roland as a bonus :LOL
Everyone is sleeping here. Caitlins taking her nap & Roland crashed out on Kevin on the couch. As soon as Caitlin wakes up, we're heading over to my moms house for supper.
~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.
And babysitters...I don't know why they usually make under minimum wage. Maybe because it's traditionally done by young women? We've still never had to pay anyone but if I did I think I'd go with $10 an hour for a sitter and minimum wage for a helper, and to me their age shouldn't depend on how much they are paid.