What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 02:51 PM
 
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"Last night my sister told my dad that punishing a dog for doing something wrong was reinforcing the bad behavior.

My dad just had the dog get off the couch where she was growling at my 7mth old son. She'd already nipped at him once and is in the bad habit of growling and barking viciously in ppl's faces. "


I'm very confused by this. Maybe it is the use of the word 'punishment'.

You've gotta make the dog know it is doing wrong. I've had dogs all my life, including sleddogs and gotten some really interesting lessons from people who do fostering of wolves and wolf hybrids seized by police and others. Dogs need to be 'punished' occasionally as they occasionally step over the bounds in the 'pack'. The dog shouldn't bite the Alphas' baby. No discussion on that. I don't agree with spanking a dog (yr. right, lots of dogs don't get it) but I have been known to GENTLY bite a dogs ear and 'get in its face' and hold it down in a submissive position. I also once made a friend do that to my dog because, for some reason, my dog of the time was trying to dominate her. They finally worked it out.:

Yr. sister has NO clue. The dog does not think the baby is a monkey. The baby smells like you and the dog knows it is your 'puppy'. There is some domination issue here and yr. sister refuses to recognize it. I am so very sorry. Better to keep her away from the baby.


P.S. DON'T try the ear biting at home until you get some lessons in dog pack behaviour. I'll try and come up with a good book to start you off. (I just learned myself growing up around working animals.)

P.P.S. I just reread yr. message and realized it is your SISTER'S dog! Egads! This dog is definately insecure and, therefore, in my books probably untrustworthy. Could be retrained with love and security and knowing its place in the pack, but don't leave it around your child (or anyone else not prepared for an unreliable dog.) I adopted a very insecure dog nine years ago and she is still with us today, now happy, healthy, secure (relatively) and fiercely protective of the Alpha female's 11 month old son who climbs all over her and pulls her ears!!!
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#302 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 03:02 PM
 
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I can't agree more, dogs communicate in ways humans don't understand...except some humans have figured it out! sohj is quite right!

Hey, I had a guy over fixing our washing machine and he told me when I wean the baby I could use cow's milk and some kind of special corn syrup He told me his kids grew like weeds on the stuff from day one! Formula is so expensive afterall....

I had this sample of Enfamil A+ powder....new product from Enfalac advertising essential fatty acids are added now......I figured I'd add some water to it and see if I could use it for cooking...there was no cow's milk in the ingredients...just whey....so I could use it to bake cookies? I was just feeling like experimenting

BUT, when I mixed it with the proper amount of water a horrible smell rose up! I figured I would at least tate it, and it tasted like cod liver oil!!!!!

Ughghgh!
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#303 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just heard someone say that her baby *IS* going to learn to sleep on her own!

She said that it's fine if she cries, and that she won't let her cry for more than 30 mins, but she's not going in there just b/c her MIL spoiled the not-yet-3-month-old. She said she'd go in there when the baby actually needed her, but wanting to be held is not a need, so she'd have to learn to deal with it.

Poor baby!

She's also said that Gary Ezzo is a genius and she believes in him whole-heartedly. "He knows exactly what he's talking about."

I did retort with something like, "Well, I believe his methods kill children and he's a quack."
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#304 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 04:14 PM
 
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I've been forming a theory that people who adopt Ezzo as their mentor have real problems about affection and probably have terrible modes of expressing any kind of physical affection to their partners.

That poor little baby.
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#305 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 05:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by kater07
She's also said that Gary Ezzo is a genius and she believes in him whole-heartedly. "He knows exactly what he's talking about."

I did retort with something like, "Well, I believe his methods kill children and he's a quack."
http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/hfamily.htm this site is amazing! this woman is on another list and she used to be the biggest advocate of the Ezzos. from now on if anyone talkls positively about ezzo, i will direct them to that site!
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#306 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 06:34 PM
 
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Blessed81902, Thank you so much for that link! I could cry for hours after reading the heart wrenching stories

http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/hsieh.htm

Quote:
Please, don't just take our word for it. Do your own research. When you are finished, we be-lieve you will draw the same conclusions we have. We thought we were following sound parent-ing information and doing what was proclaimed to be in the best interest of our son. We could not have been more wrong, and we will always live with that knowledge. We now believe nurs-ing on demand, especially in the early months of life, is among the most critical things one can do for the long-term health and well-being of their child. The harm that has been associated with the Ezzos' parent-directed feeding schedules is not always easily undone, and is simply not worth the potential risks. No other child or parents deserve to endure what we have suffered.

It is our sincere prayer that as awareness of the controversies and problems with the Ezzos' Preparation for Parenting and Preparation for the Toddler Years (On Becoming BabyWise, books 1 & 2) programs increases, the followers will decrease.

.
If anyone ever mentions that to me, I won't say a word, but give them the link to this site.
I hear a lot about "scheduled feedings" and thankfully always ignored it. Now I'm ever so grateful and relieved that I went with my instincts rather than "advice".
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#307 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 07:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And, I get yet another dumb comment...

Next door neighbor found out about DS's 1st tooth today. He looked at me and said, "You did stop BFing didn't you?"

I said, "Nooooo."

He said, "Oh, No! Are you crazy?"

I said, "It's not like he BITES."

From now on, I am going to make sure I use my new analogy of BFing. When a child or adult drinks from a straw, do they bite the straw while they drink? not usually, unless they are playing. Well, my nipples are just a straw in my boob allowing the same sucking action to get milk out of me.

Grrr...and his daughter is PG and planning to BF. Please pray he doesn't rub off on her.
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#308 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 07:58 PM
 
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someone said "You're still doing that? Isn't he on formula and cereal by now?! When are you going to stop?"

I replied, "Oh, he's eating steak and asparagus, but, I figured I would donate the rest to a breast milk bank so I'll be doing this in here for a while. "

And yet another round of "You still haven't bought a television!? He'll feel so out of it with his friends."
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#309 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 08:48 PM
 
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sohj--

Here's one for ya: "Oh, well, DP has gotten into the taste, and you know, whatever it takes to keep the spark in the relationship..." And then smile REAL big.
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#310 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 10:03 PM
 
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This thread is great! Happily, I havent had some of the awful comments you all have had -- good grief! I've got some less horrible ones to add:

MIL regarding a train ride I took with dd when she was 5 weeks old: "Well, you'd better bring a bottle, just in case."
Just in case.... what???

Coworker in regards to my planned homebirth: "So the midwives will do a C-section if you need one?" Um, in my living room?

Coworker in regards to continuing to BF my 6mo dd: "You know, you gave her everything useful in the first 3 weeks." And this woman is a nurse!

I generally answer people's concerns about cosleeping and rolling over on the baby with an analogy to rolling out of bed -- "you just don't roll out of bed, right? cuz you know where the edge of the bed is." Then I had one coworker who told me he does in fact roll out of the bed, not infrequently. My response: "oh. um. then you should never sleep with a baby." hmmmm....

My favorite response to how long I'm planning to BF is "oh, I dunno, 16?" -- it always shuts people up and gets at least a nervous laugh.
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#311 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 11:34 PM
 
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My MIL told me that I do not have a cuddly baby. The way to have a cuddly baby she states is to make sure you give them a pacifier. If you give them a pacifier they will then become cuddly babies. UGH

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
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#312 of 5048 Old 03-12-2003, 11:35 PM
 
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Kater, I hate to tell you this, but I do bite my straws. I always have -- flat as a pancake with my front teeth while I drink. My toddler does it too, however he nursed till he was two and never had a problem biting me.
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#313 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 01:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ok, well, most ppl don't bite their straws. lol
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#314 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 04:04 PM
 
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My sister in law was at hospital the day my baby was born. She was demanding that our son be circumcized - otherwise he would be confused later. Don't think so. A week later she stopped by with mil to put the swing together and said she wasn't leaving until she saw the baby in it. She put the baby in it and he immediately started crying so I immediately took him out and comforted. "You gotta let him cry it out" they both tried to convince me. "NO I DON'T", I said. A month later sister in law calls, first thing she says is "where is the baby" I say "in my arms", she yells, "Put that baby in the swing and walk away!" It goes on and on, unfortunately. Incidentally her two sons are both in jail right now. Thanks for letting me vent.
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#315 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 04:49 PM
 
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MaryTG, good grief!!!!!!!!!!!! I just don't get it! Honestly, it makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
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#316 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 04:50 PM
 
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Where does you sister in law get the right to "demand" that your son be circed? Um, it isn't her penis!!!!

Sounds like you need to run far far away from that woman!
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#317 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 05:03 PM
 
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This thread is soooo very depressing!!! The most annoying thing I'm dealing with lately is when I mention that dd (22mo) still wakes frequently at night. They say that it's because she's still breastfeeding. My current retort is "No, it isn't." Pretty clever, huh? (Sometimes, I do try to inform them, too.) I do feel like I've developed a much much thicker skin because of my parenting choices. I used to be much more of a people pleaser and now, I only try to please my dd and myself... (and occasionally dh.)
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#318 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 08:08 PM
 
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I get the you-hold-your-baby-way-too-much crap all the time too!
I'm also told that co-sleeping is wrong b/c she'll "never" leave my bed. My reply usually consists of some smart-a** comment about making it easier for me to wake her to get her off to work later in life.
So many small minds...
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#319 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 08:22 PM
 
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I have to toss in here that my fil said no matter what we do, (feed her wheat before 1 yr, vax or not, etc) dd would be fine because we hold her so much. I keep that close to my heart...he has five sons and none are in jail
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#320 of 5048 Old 03-13-2003, 08:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by MaryTG
Incidentally her two sons are both in jail right now.
Hey, you could always agree with your sil, just say, "You're right, if I do that then my child will turn out as wonderful as yours." That might shut her up, or she'll get pissed off & not want to talk to you, works either way :LOL

edited for typo
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#321 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 12:03 PM
 
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T Slightly

The papa was waiting outside a deli for me the other evening, holding our pixie and the dog leash (with the dog on the other end) and kissed him on the nose just as a couple was walking by. The female said "What a cute little girl! I'd kiss her, too" Papa answered "It's a boy, little boys deserve kisses, too!"

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#322 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 01:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good for him!
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#323 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 03:54 PM
 
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great thread!

I finally remembered something light I can contribute.

At the pediatrician's office when we are taking a cloth diaper off ds. She say's "wow what's that" (meaning the diaper)!!! She's been a ped for ... 20 years!
Really nice lady and she does what we want her to do, but wow!
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#324 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 05:53 PM
 
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I would have been really worried if she HADN'T meant the diaper.
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#325 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 05:57 PM
 
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:LOL
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#326 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 07:03 PM
 
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after baby #3 was born, the ped. came to see him, and it turned out to be the one dr. from our peds. office who we just can't stand - i spend time praying that he has no children of his own to screw up... anyway, when he came in, ds was sleeping in my arms. dr. dick (yes, his first name is dick - i'm not just feeling vengeful) points at ds and says "you better not let him get used to that!"
he then proceeded to eyeball the chart, then looked surprised and said - "so - you didn't circumcise him - can i ask why??" - as if it was just the weirdest thing in the world that we wanted to leave our son intact.
i said, "it's unneccessary and purely cosmetic, and we didn't want to put him through something lke that"
to which his response was "well, yes i guess, but it's really done so they don't, you know, look different" (last part said in a semi-whispery voice)
cause, you know, god forbid anyone look different from anyone else... especially when it comes to penises, since they're regularly displayed publicly (???!!!)
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#327 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 07:11 PM
 
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organicbanana...
yeah, but isn't it just FUN to put those kinds of ppl in their place??? After dd (my fourth) was born, I had the nosiest/worst resident, and I had such a fabulous time telling her to shove off everytime she questioned anything I did, like that we weren't vaxing at birth, I had also refused all other interventions during my labor, I was bfing and she stayed in the bed with me--> double eek! the worst was when she tried vilolently shaking her arm to get her to open her eyes one morning, so she could check, I don't know, pupil dilation or something stupid?? I snatched her right away and told her her bedside manner sucked and to leave my room until a real doctor was available to assist her! I finally had her banned from my room, and I'm pretty sure from the hospital soon thereafter She was so creepy, but it was fun nevertheless... maybe I just have a sick sense of humor...
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#328 of 5048 Old 03-14-2003, 07:53 PM
 
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Okay I just found this thread and have been laughing myself silly reading it!!!!!


We do not have a TV in our home and my ex-MIL puts my DD in front of movies. Well one was about a puppy who lost his family and spent the whole movie trying to find them so my DD (4 at the time) was scared to death and had nightmares, to which my ex-MIL said "if you just let her watch TV all the time she wouldn't be so sensitive".........................exactly:confuse d: I want my child to have feelings about what happens in the world, to feel upset seeing a bunch of people shot or killed, not desensitized to it!

When people ask me if DS is a good baby I always reply "Yes, he know just when to smile, when to cry and when to poop!"
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#329 of 5048 Old 03-26-2003, 05:38 PM
 
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Being a Mommy of twins I've gotten some real doozies...

When pregnant still: "Can they hurt each other?" HUH?!?!

"Are they twins?" Ummm...no....I happen to have two newborns!

"Don't you HAVE to supplement twins?" Yes...and before formula was invented I would have done WHAT?!

"Can you nurse them both at the same time?" I have two breasts don't I?!?!

"So....now you have three girls? Are you finished or are you going to try for a boy?" This doesn't even deserve an answer!

And I know this isn't a question but if I hear "Boy, you sure do have your hands full" one more time, I'm going to rip the persons tongue out!!!!!!

Karen
Haven 9/2000
Lillie & Faith 12/2002

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#330 of 5048 Old 03-26-2003, 08:02 PM
 
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dbl post
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