What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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#361 of 5048 Old 04-12-2003, 07:36 AM
 
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Chi-Chi Mama

and Marianne, welcome!!!!!

Thanks!!!
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#362 of 5048 Old 04-12-2003, 07:47 AM
 
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I've gotten all the same stupid comments that you guys have had, but two other things stick out in my head....

I had to make a very brief trip into a beauty supply store where a lady came over to see DD. She came over and said in one breath, "What a beautiful baby! Can I hold her?" with her arms stretched out! When I told the lady no, she looked shocked. Did it ever occur to her that SHE'S A STRANGER TO ME???? :

The second thing was when I started reading "Your Baby's First Year Week by Week". I think within the first couple of pages it says that one should gently retract the baby's foreskin to clean it! I don't even have a boy, but I couldn't return that book to B&N fast enough!

Ok, I just thought of a really stupid conversation that I had with a now former priest friend (yes, I'm ending our friendship because he's stupid). He told me that by cosleeping, I'm kicking DH out of the bed and making him resent all of us. He told us our relationship will certainly suffer because I won't just force Alicia to be in her crib. When I told him that he had an awful lot of crap to spout off for someone with no kids or a wife, he said "well I counsel a lot of couples, so I just *know*." WTFever. :
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#363 of 5048 Old 04-12-2003, 03:42 PM
 
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Great councel. *sigh*:
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#364 of 5048 Old 04-12-2003, 06:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What would possess someone to give a baby they've never met cake?

Yes, DS is fine, and YES, I gave him cake first, but ...

I am not really upset b/c I know he's ok. I just wonder why someone would give a baby cake with eggs, milk, etc etc in it without first cosulting the mom. I was standing right behind DS just not looking at him when it happend.

Sheesh...I sure am glad I knew he'd be ok.
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#365 of 5048 Old 04-12-2003, 11:29 PM
 
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Aside from the sleeping through the night question, most people ask me if my six week old is a good baby. WTF? Aren't all babies good babies? I've started answering "yes, she's very good at being a baby".
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#366 of 5048 Old 04-13-2003, 01:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by seraph
Aside from the sleeping through the night question, most people ask me if my six week old is a good baby.

No, but I got her six weeks ago and I lost the receipt!:LOL
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#367 of 5048 Old 04-13-2003, 03:29 PM
 
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These are so fun! I've also gotten the good baby, sleeping through the night, etc ones--I'm so glad to see the comebacks here. My favorite dumb thing someone (who knows me) said when I told them that I was pregnant was "was it planned?" Annoying question anyway, but the person *knows* my partner is a woman--um, be a bit difficult for it not to be, dontcha think???

Rae, mom to Maddie, 2/26/03
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#368 of 5048 Old 04-13-2003, 04:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by simcon
My favorite dumb thing someone (who knows me) said when I told them that I was pregnant was "was it planned?" Annoying question anyway, but the person *knows* my partner is a woman--um, be a bit difficult for it not to be, dontcha think???
You could've said, "No, it was immaculate conception, Jesus decided to be raised by lesbians in this incarnation." :LOL
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#369 of 5048 Old 04-13-2003, 05:21 PM
 
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I have been lmao reading these. They make my day. Here are a couple of mine:

My godmother was visiting and during dinner one night, ds was starting to fuss a bit. We had just been talking about bfing, and she said "maybe he isn't getting enough from you". I almost burst into tears. I had struggled with sore, bleeding nipples for five weeks and that was the last thing I needed to add to my worries. Besides, he's been growing like a weed, so I know this is not an issue!:

A friend of mine was pg at the same time I was and we were discussing bfing. She said she was going to bf AND ff because she didn't think babies got enough from just bfing. : I asked her how she thought the human race had survived until now. She just laughed.

I'm sure there will be more!

-lyns99
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#370 of 5048 Old 04-13-2003, 06:55 PM
 
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My sister has come up with some doozies. Just recently, I was on the phone with her, and Jonny was nursing, and he unlatched half way, and kinda bit me. She said "serves you right for still nursing him. You know if you weaned him now, mom could watch him over night so you could go out." Keep in mind, my DH is in Korea, and I have no desire to go out to some lousy bars, run into alcoholics that I went to high school with, by myself.

And then her telling me that my oldest is ADHD, and I should have him drugged. This from someone who got pregnant JUST because I was pregnant(and this is a fact, she told a friend she was going to get pregnant because I was getting all the attention)and who refused to acknowledge that her son was not doing well on regular formula(even after I got him soy formula, and he did 10x better with it)so would not ask the doctor to give her a recommendation to wic to change his formula. Oh yeah, and her 7yo(her son and mine are 3months apart) has recently started pooping his pants, and no one but me thinks that it's psychological(the poor kid has told my mother "I wish I'd never been born")

And I've been asked a couple of times now how old my "girl" is. Granted, he's got light brown wavy hair, and gorgeous blue eyes, but c'mon!! I was asked once when my oldest was with me, and he looked at me like "mom, that lady is crazy!"
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#371 of 5048 Old 04-24-2003, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just had someone tell me that their DF wants to keep their unborn child intact, but she said "the heck if I am doing that to my kid". WT Heck??? I lost it on her. I asked her if she'd be cutting off her daughter's clit if it was a girl. She looked at me like I was nuts.

I calmed down and explained. Then I sent her a BUNCH of info on intact babies.

Poor unborn baby. I really hope she has a girl, just so that they can't do that.

I am going to start collecting no-circ stuff and fill her baby shower basket with that, breastfeeding, and attached parenting stuff. I will also give her some AIOs that I make and other things.

At least I still have time to convince her that this shouldn't even be a discussion. Her family is very into their faith, and so I pitched in the GOD made him PERFECT.... I cringe
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#372 of 5048 Old 04-24-2003, 05:37 PM
 
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Woo! I've got a new one regarding circ'ing too! I've been telling a few people that we aren't circ'ing (mainly to relate a story about my MIL asking if we were and I said NO so strongly she hasn't argued with me about it!) and EVERYONE is like "You aren't? But why?" So I've been doing a lot of trying to educate others on that no, its not cleaner, no, an uncircumsized baby isn't going to get more infections, circ'ing removes a lot of a man's sensitivity, ect.

But the WORST comment I got was from a friend who actually had a discussion with his sorta girlfriend on the matter and came back saying "Me and her think that circ'ing is still the best just because it looks better. She also said 'isn't it sensitive enough'. Uncircumsized penises are ugly." : Like how in the world is his impression of my son's penis at all important?? All this in front of his best friend, my Dh who really isn't circ'ed (he was born in france, and his mom wanted them to do it, even though the doctors said they didn't really know how... so only the tiny tip of his foreskin was snipped. He still looks intact and has about 80% of the intact sensitivity remaining... only reason you KNOW its been snipped is a scar when he retracts).

This same guy was also the one who said "so the baby doesn't remember it" when I told him that they either don't numb the penis beforehand, or that the anesthesia they use isn't effective. Geez, if I get mad at my baby can I pinch him really hard to get my anger out? He won't remember it later. :

Ok end rant. Thanks for listening!

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#373 of 5048 Old 04-25-2003, 12:17 AM
 
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Along the same lines, a preggo friend due next month is having a boy. She mentioned they were going to circ him and I asked if she did any homework on it. She said she did. I mentioned "so you know it's not medically necessary nor is it even the social abosute norm any more" "yeah" "and it hurts" "yeah, but we're still going to do it" WTF? I always thought it was a parent's job to protect their kids! Silly me! I used to visit her a lot, but we obviously have different philosophies on how babies should be treated, so I'm thinking that'll be one of our last visits.

Please note, the reason this upset me is because she said she did the homework, she knows it doesn't do any good, she knows it hurts, and she's perfectly ok with it and planning ahead of time to have it done (pre-meditated abuse with no remorse). This is very different from the moms who didn't know it was an issue and didn't have an opportunity to do any research.

~Melissa
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#374 of 5048 Old 07-13-2003, 12:06 AM
 
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okay--I just have to share this one (Can't let a good thread die, right?)

I was at the pool the other morning for ds1's swimming lesson. There are, of course, a cluster of other local moms there. One asked how old ds2 was, and I responded that he was 4 months. She was shocked (he is a BIG kid--21 lbs, 27.5 inches) and asked what foods he was eating.
I told her that he was still nursing and hadn't had any solids yet
and she then asked:
"But he will, right?"



I said "Oh, yeah" before I really processed what she asked. I mean....what am I going to do, send him to college with a bunch of frozen milk??


mom to three boys:  reading.gif(18 bigeyes.giffencing.gif(10&7)
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#375 of 5048 Old 07-13-2003, 02:13 PM
 
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When my son was born, people kept telling me that he was beautiful because dh and I did a "good job". I didn't understand that. What exactly did we do, beside have sex? It isn't like I went to the baby dealership and custom ordered him.
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#376 of 5048 Old 07-13-2003, 02:31 PM
 
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I didn't tell her the exact "day" so they won't try to hold me to it Gotta love her [/B][/QUOTE]


When I told my mom I was due 2 days before my dad's bday, she told me that I had to wait the 2 extra days !: My mom, she's full of them:
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#377 of 5048 Old 07-13-2003, 08:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shenjall
Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions.

My son was a surprise at a very bad time in our lives. We had been trying for a year, had one mc , were living in Japan, and I was about to move to Vegas(where we know no one) w/o dh, who would remain in Japan for another 3 months. We stopped tyring and I was pg 2 weeks later.

Because I had mc, we didn't want to tell anyone. I was talking to a friend who worked with dh and me in a CLINIC about how I didn't know if this was a good thing. A coworker overheard us, went to dh, who I hadn't even talked to about it yet, and told him congratulations. He said on what. This guy told him I was pg! He already knew that, but pretended that he didn't. He threatened this guy with violation of the privacy act.

I could NOT believe anyone would do such a thing.
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#378 of 5048 Old 07-13-2003, 10:44 PM
 
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Gotta keep this thread going...what amazing, sad, but hilarious stories.

Here's mine:

When my dd was a week old, I took her in for a weight check to the ped's office (chosen too quickly bc we ran out of time). She had lost a half an ounce from her lowest weight (which, I might add, was nine lbs 13 oz and she was 10 lbs 9 oz at birth). He whipped out the formula so fast it made my head spin, and told me I had to supplement her after every feeding and that "since your baby lost weight, you have *no choice*, you have to supplement!" Excuse me? So, and here's the kicker, I said to him, "won't that make my milk supply go down?" and he looked me in the eye and said

"No, it won't."

I walked out of there and never went back. We went to an LLL recommended ped who pronounced dd just fine, told me to work on increasing my supply with a pump, finally (after a month with no weight gain) told me to supplement with 2 oz a day of either EBM or formula, and lectured me on how I needed to keep bf her on demand. We *love* him.

Peace,
Beth and baby Miriam 1/5/03
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#379 of 5048 Old 07-14-2003, 02:43 AM
 
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It really bugs me when those people who you just had to steal your baby back from to "feed her" come and expect you to give the baby back as soon as you are done feeding her

I really hate this. My dh's grandmother(who we will be living with for a short time) does this. She also calls him "my baby". It drives me nuts. I feel like he doesn't even belong to me.
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#380 of 5048 Old 07-14-2003, 03:05 AM
 
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Shenjall
[B]Everytime the temp drops here (like every day..) my mother will call me in the am and ask "Did you dress those kids warm?! Hat? Mitts? What about a scarf? Did you put a scarf on them?"


My mom drove me crazy with this. My son was born in December. I bundled him up good and went out for a walk everyday when it wasn't freezing. My mom called me everyday to see if I was getting enough rest(which I never did by her standards) and freaked out about me taking him out in the cold. Yeah it was cold, but I wasn't going to freeze my baby!
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#381 of 5048 Old 07-14-2003, 06:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by bens_mommie
I really hate this. My dh's grandmother(who we will be living with for a short time) does this. She also calls him "my baby". It drives me nuts. I feel like he doesn't even belong to me.
My MIL does this too! The "my baby" bit... when we found out we were expecting a boy she said "Oh I wanted a boy!" and started sobbing. When she hated the name she said "I love my baby so much already, don't do this to him", about her new tiny puppy she got (who she REFUSES to call a puppy and will correct me if I call him a puppy by saying "noooo he's a BABY") "Thats *MY* baby, and when your baby gets here, he'll be *OUR* baby too" (And the our refered to her and her 16 year old daughter from how I picked up on it. Not 'our' like oh her, my dh and myself or something). Wheeeee gotta love the possesive relatives!

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#382 of 5048 Old 07-14-2003, 12:17 PM
 
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Here are some of the winners I've gotten:

When I announced my pregnancy in my office, a woman came over. The first thing she said was, "I noticed you've been gaining weight. So that's why." (I was at 11 weeks and had gained ONE pound.) The second thing she said was, "Was this planned?" I was just too flabbergasted to answer. The third thing was, "Did it take you long to conceive?" The last two questions just hit a little too close to discussing my sex life with a relative stranger who is a little on the creepy side anyway. Bleagh!

Some others:

Upon talking about ds's weight gain and nursing pattern: "My son used to be like that, too, until he was 9 mos, but then he learned to control himself." Huh?

"You'd better start to put him down. He'll get used to being held real fast, then you'll never be able to put him down." (Fine with me!)

"It's going to be so hard for you to let him go, when he begins dating and gets married, you are so attached." (Ds is 9 m.o.)


Also, my grandmother has this thing about babies being held too much. my mom says she used to do the same thing to her. She is always saying, "When are you going to put him down?" "Put him down, so he can relax his back." "Babies need to stretch." and, if I do put him down for a second, "There, isn't that better? Look, he can stretch his back." He's usually looking to be picked up again by the time this sentence is finished!

People are wierd!
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#383 of 5048 Old 07-14-2003, 12:55 PM
 
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Right now the big issue is solid foods in my family. You know those one, when family members talk to your child and say "poor baby, mommy wont feed you real food". Yeah, and the mac n cheese you want to feed my 9 month old is "real" food!:
I've been getting this real food crap since she was 3 months old. Its so annoying! My sil has a 6 month old and they started in on her too at 3 months. Oh, dinner at the in laws these days are soooooo much fun!
Also wanted to add all the "expert" bf advice from people who didnt bf?!
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#384 of 5048 Old 07-14-2003, 05:09 PM
 
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On the subject of "real" food...everytime someone brings up the solids thing (usu. when I'm nursing), I have a couple of great true stories (aka: ammunition) that the little one so kindly provided me with: 1) His first solid food was venison stew cooked with red wine, onions, garlic and carrots that he got out of a soup spoon he constantly pulled down from his father's mouth (at 4.5 mos.) and 2) When he is teething, he likes to chew on a raw garlic clove . (I kid you not.)

So, they shut up after that.
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#385 of 5048 Old 07-16-2003, 03:41 PM
 
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I love this thread! I'm not a mother yet (any day now), but now I have a pretaste of what's ahead and some good ideas for how to respond.

For instance, my mother, who has not been happy about my impending homebirth, is certain that I won't learn from my midwives all the "valuable" things you learn when you stay in a hospital for five days. Like they will just walk out on us right after the baby pops out or something! I'm pretty sure she thinks me incredibly naive for even attempting an unmedicated birth and completely ignorant about all aspects of taking care of a newborn.

So on the phone, in a voice that clearly revealed she was trying to catch me out, she fired off question after question about various things, including breastfeeding - this was about a month ago, before I was even ready to read about that yet. As part of this, she asked me, "And do you even know that your milk won't come in right away and you'll have to supplement with sugar water for a few days??!" I knew that something about this didn't sound right, but I was still too uninformed to object or hold my own in any way. "Uh, yeah," I just said lamely.

No more lame responses! Thanks, everyone.

P.S. I am astounded at the audacity of some of the people mentioned in this thread. The comments of relatives and strangers alike are simply unfathomable.
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#386 of 5048 Old 07-16-2003, 08:05 PM
 
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at my son's fourr month check up, which i wish i hadn't gone to. the nurse told me that my 20 lb and 26 in son was underfed because he nursed every three hours and i HAD to start solids. she also, literally, yelled at me for co-sleeping. the ped's stance on it is don't because it's inconvienent to the parent. wtf???
nak
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#387 of 5048 Old 07-16-2003, 10:38 PM
 
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So many familiar phrases...:

The first one from my mom when I was nursing dd1 after she was born. "Well, you can try to breastfeed, but it will probably won't work."

My most recent, favorite is from my mother about my then 5 month old ds. "Do you think you'll be able to nurse him much longer?" my homebirthed, 10 lb, 20 inch long, intact boy who weighed about 17 lbs at the time of the comment.

uhhh, this is my 3rd child, dd2 nursed until 3 1/2 regularly and most recently a couple of weeks ago, dd1 nursed until about 3 (we did ff for about 5 months when I got pregnant with dd2 and lost my milk supply. sad time, btw, I never told my mother. she wouldn't have sympathized with my feeling of loss, but would have said I told you so.)
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#388 of 5048 Old 07-18-2003, 04:13 PM
 
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I wouldn't even know where to begin - so many stupid comments so little time.

I have noticed that although I am sensitive that everyone else has strong opinions as to whether their children should bf or formula feed; sleep in a crib or not; eat meat or not, etc etc etc that I tend to avoid these topics. I mean, hey, who am I to judge? Yet it never seems to fail that some acquaintaince or family member will ask a "question" that is nothing more than a barely disguised critiscism - for example -

Your baby doesn't sleep in her crib? No, she sleeps in our bed. What have you tried to get her to sleep in the crib? <sigh> No, see, we want her to sleep with us. WE DO IT ON PURPOSE. Well why would you do that? You know you'll never get her out if you don't get her out now. What part of - WE WANT HER IN OUR BED did you not understand? And ditto these comments for discussions about why we haven't weaned yet. Or why we don't intend to feed her meat.

But my all time favorite comments were from my mother and mil:

My MIL was SHOCKED, MAD and ready to throttle me and DH during my entire pregnancy bc we chose not to find out the sex of our baby. She insisted we were ruining the pregnancy for her. Really. Like it was HER pregnancy to begin with. She also tried to tell us formula would be better than bf'ing bc formula is fortified with vitamins and minerals.

And my mother kept mentioning that my DD must be autistic bc when she was on the verge of crawling, she would get up on all fours and rock. My mom kept telling me over and over again that the rocking was a sign of autism.
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#389 of 5048 Old 07-20-2003, 11:45 AM
 
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I just had to reply to this thread!

An acquaintance of mine, knowing that I and several of our other friends cosleep, insists on repeatedly remarking that she doesn't believe in cosleeping because "it makes the child think they are equal to the parents."

I guess by that way of thinking, when she's ready for solids, we should make her sit on the floor under the table. Wouldn't want her to think she's an equal human being, or anything.

:
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#390 of 5048 Old 07-20-2003, 01:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by bizarrogirl
I guess by that way of thinking, when she's ready for solids, we should make her sit on the floor under the table. Wouldn't want her to think she's an equal human being, or anything.


I had those reactions to reading what you were saying...you are totally right! A child is human, deserves to be treated as a human. Nothing less!!!!
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