What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 21 - Mothering Forums
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#601 of 5048 Old 06-06-2004, 12:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by StarMama
Also, how exactly am I supposed to make *sure* he crawls? Its not like I can MAKE him or anything. Yeah he gets floor time, and yeah I can put his toys away from him far enough to encourage, but if he decides to skip it and walk, well not much can be done there!
Oh man, this was one of my mother's hobby-horses for quite awhile!

She also thinks that if I tell him what to say, that it will make him start talking sooner. For example, I allowed her to feed him when we last visited, because she enjoys it SOOOOO much, and ds doesn't seem to mind it. (They love each other. ) Then I hear her telling him, "Say, 'Mommy, I'm finished eating.'" I tried to tell her that this was not a great thing to do. I said, "Mom, he doesn't talk yet, and when he does, don't you think he'll be able to think of things to say without you prompting him? Does he need to memorize a phrase book in order to speak?"

My mom doesn't totally understand the idea that a child is a separate human being with his or her own needs and desires. Even when that child is 38 years old!

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#602 of 5048 Old 06-06-2004, 03:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DaryLLL
Idiot: Are they identical? (looking at a boy and girl twin set)

Mom: No, one is a boy, one is a girl.

Idiot: Well, I can see that. Are they identical?
My baby sister and I got this sort of thing when we were little. People would ask us if we were twins. We would say, "We're two years apart." Quite a few times, someone actually said, "But are you twins?"

My parenting ones:
My son's biodad's best friend's mother (so no relation to me at all, and I didn't even like her before she started calling herself my son's "honourary" grandmother) told me that he, at three weeks old, needed to have rice cereal in his bottles to help him sleep through the night. So I told her he didn't have bottles, and I couldn't think of a way to get cereal into my breasts. She actually said I needed to wean him, because he had to have that cereal, and her kids were bottle fed. Uuhhm...who the hell do you think you are, and why do you think I care?

My mother: "I'm going to buy you a crib and convince your husband to use it." Good luck, lady. She doesn't think we should cosleep, because I've always been such a light sleeper, and she thinks babies need their own space (because infants have major privacy issues, right? ). Fine, whatever, but the next time I hear about the crib we "need," I may actually scream.

When I was pregnant with my son, I gained 26 pounds. I would lose some, then gain some, and my midwives all said I wasn't gaining as much as they would like. I also carried right in front. With both of my kids, I didn't even look pregnant from behind. At nine months I still had a discernable waistline. One of my coworkers told a client (I was a hairdresser) that I "might look cute now, but in a couple of months, she'll be a piglet." She also told me she would give me a ride to my car (I hadn't asked, because I was parked only about 100 feet away), but she didn't think her shocks could handle it. She asked me every day if I hated getting fat. Every day I said, "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant."
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#603 of 5048 Old 06-06-2004, 11:26 AM
 
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I'm bummed! Try as I might, I can't get anyone to say anything stupid to me. I took DS grocery shopping in the sling the other day, and the only comments I got were "What a great idea" (about the sling) and "What a cute baby." Sigh... that's what I get for living in a liberal town, I guess.

Although, come to think of it, my mother had some dumb things to say when I was pregnant. Of course, almost everything my mom says is dumb, so I didn't pay much attention. One that I remember is that she insisted that my heartburn meant that DS would have a lot of hair when he was born. This is a woman who totally doesn't understand the concept of an old wive's tale...
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#604 of 5048 Old 06-06-2004, 12:35 PM
 
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#605 of 5048 Old 06-06-2004, 06:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StarMama
Also, how exactly am I supposed to make *sure* he crawls? Its not like I can MAKE him or anything. Yeah he gets floor time, and yeah I can put his toys away from him far enough to encourage, but if he decides to skip it and walk, well not much can be done there!
I also got this from several people that we had to MAKE dd crawl. At one point in time to a coworker, I got so annoyed, I just said "how on earth do you MAKE a baby crawl??" and she said that it can be done, and i'm not allowing her to get frustrated byt carrying her all the time in the sling I'm ruining things for her and if I just put her down on the floor and let her get mad and cry a little, she would have the motivation to crawl Whatever. Anyway, I guess all of them were wrong abou tthat because DD did eventually crawl when she wanted to, but I never had to put her on the floor and make her mad in order for her to crawl, she justed started wanting to be down.
But....people did like to tell me that she would be developmentally delayed because I wasn't allowing her to crawl.
Amy

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#606 of 5048 Old 06-06-2004, 08:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by roseselene
I also got this from several people that we had to MAKE dd crawl. At one point in time to a coworker, I got so annoyed, I just said "how on earth do you MAKE a baby crawl??" and she said that it can be done, and i'm not allowing her to get frustrated byt carrying her all the time in the sling I'm ruining things for her and if I just put her down on the floor and let her get mad and cry a little, she would have the motivation to crawl Whatever. Anyway, I guess all of them were wrong abou tthat because DD did eventually crawl when she wanted to, but I never had to put her on the floor and make her mad in order for her to crawl, she justed started wanting to be down.
But....people did like to tell me that she would be developmentally delayed because I wasn't allowing her to crawl.
Amy
I keep hearing this one, although not from anyone IRL. Back before I was a parent, I taught kids to read in an elementary school. I went to more than one conference where I heard this, but it was more like, "...hard time learing to read, and guess what, those kids also skipped crawling..." in the middle of other research and kind of as an aside. My guess is that it's less, "MAKE THEM CRAWL!" than if they don't crawl, watch more closely for difficulty learning to read. I can't imagine that a kid who had issues learning to read wouldn't have them if only they had crawled. I'm sure there's more at work there. I'm not sure I'm being as clear here as I could in person, it's hard to convey tone and emphasis in writing. I guess I think kids will either crawl or not (regardless of pushing from others) and that if reading was going to be a problem for them, it will be a problem. If it were my kid and I bought into this theory (or others around me did), I would say, "let's see if he crawls on his own and if he does, we drop this line of inquiry. If he doesn't, I'll be sure to be extra vigilant watching for learning disabilites." And tell them that I'll use if he crawls or not as an indicator, not as a preventative measure.

MY "dumb comment" for the weekend: my MIL is convinced that ds has colic. This despite the fact that he hardly ever cries. He cries and I nurse him, or change his diaper, or whatever...90% of the time if he's crying, there is a good reason that I can figure out and I fix whatever the issue is. The solution to those times when I can't figure it out is not to give ds to my MIL and LET HER WALK AWAY WITH HIM!!! grrrr. So, anyway, ds is now about 3 months old and today we went to a parade with the ILs and FIL asked dh if ds was feeling better. Dh played dumb and said, when was he sick? And FIL went on about how colicky he had been and now he wasn't crying and aren't we glad he's not crying. Dh told him he never was colicky and gave him a definition of colic and said we could usually figure out what was wrong. They just will not let go of it. He cried one time at Easter for about 15 minutes (it was hot and there were a lot of people there and I spent a lot of those first few weeks nursing laying down and wasn't really good at it sitting up yet, despite having already nursed dd for 2 1/2 years) and they will not let it go. Every time they call, they ask about his "colic." Dh told them it's no longer ok to ask about it. Hopefully they pick up on that.

R~mama to 3

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#607 of 5048 Old 06-07-2004, 11:57 AM
 
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Wow, this thread is still alive. I like that ... it stayed active long enough for me to add something!

I live in a pretty progressive area, where it's business as usual to see slings of every shape and size and meet people who homebirth and EBF, so dumb comments are essentially few and far between. But there's one thing I've gotten several times nevertheless. It's whenever my boy is wearing white or pretty pale colors, and it's happened more since I started using my pink-orange-blue-red-green-fuschia-turquoise-yellow striped Maya wrap (the fuschia's pretty dominant in there) more often: People will refer to him as "she," and once I correct them they will say, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" as if mistaking him for a girl (at 10 months no less) were extremely offensive. I think it's weird because 1) it's a mistake anyone can make; we all make these mistakes on a daily basis - it's not like babies were born with "I'm a boy" branded on their foreheads, and 2) why should it be so offensive to be mistaken for a girl, as if that were a terrible insult to my baby's manhood?? I wonder if it's the same in the other direction - do people overapologize when they've mistaken a girl for a boy? Anyway, I think this is weird. Not the apology, of course, but the vehemence of it. It's funny how uncomfortable people become as a result of (even the least controversial) gender stuff.
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#608 of 5048 Old 06-07-2004, 04:50 PM
 
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I've heard quite my share of dumb things. Here are a few:

"If you hold him a lot he'll get used to it" (NOW I'm scared )

Regarding circumcision:
"You didn't?? Did you know he'll get an infection when he gets older and they have to do it THEN? He won't be able to have an erection!" (oh PLEASE)

Regarding vaccinations:

From a relative whose daughter is 3 weeks old:
"I heard ds is not vaccinated. Could you keep him in another room so he won't breathe on my dd? She's so little.."

I actually had a come-back to that last one -- I said, "You know, I was going to tell you as well for your dd to stay away from ds since she just had her Hep B vax a couple of weeks ago"
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#609 of 5048 Old 06-07-2004, 05:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melixxa
Wow, this thread is still alive. I like that ... it stayed active long enough for me to add something!

I live in a pretty progressive area, where it's business as usual to see slings of every shape and size and meet people who homebirth and EBF, so dumb comments are essentially few and far between. But there's one thing I've gotten several times nevertheless. It's whenever my boy is wearing white or pretty pale colors, and it's happened more since I started using my pink-orange-blue-red-green-fuschia-turquoise-yellow striped Maya wrap (the fuschia's pretty dominant in there) more often: People will refer to him as "she," and once I correct them they will say, "Oh, I'm SO sorry!" as if mistaking him for a girl (at 10 months no less) were extremely offensive. I think it's weird because 1) it's a mistake anyone can make; we all make these mistakes on a daily basis - it's not like babies were born with "I'm a boy" branded on their foreheads, and 2) why should it be so offensive to be mistaken for a girl, as if that were a terrible insult to my baby's manhood?? I wonder if it's the same in the other direction - do people overapologize when they've mistaken a girl for a boy? Anyway, I think this is weird. Not the apology, of course, but the vehemence of it. It's funny how uncomfortable people become as a result of (even the least controversial) gender stuff.

I get this too, even still as my dd is 20 month. sometimes i correct them, but usually I dont. if its just someone in line somewhere, I just continue whatever conversation, and if they happen to catch her name, or hear me say 'she' they freak out, apologizing over and over! like i care! I tell them it really doesnt matter till puberty anyway, so dont worry about it....they still go on and on 'well, she is wearing brown/blue/green/red/being/perwinkle/teal/tn/black/gray so I assumed' or 'i know, i'm sorry, mine didnt have long hair at that age either'
I know dozens of babies, some have short hair, some have long, some are girls and some are boys. it isnt a gender thing (the hair gowth)

people are so caught up on gender...doesnt make sense at such a young age
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#610 of 5048 Old 07-30-2004, 05:11 PM
 
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#611 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 03:03 AM
 
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I had to give birth in a hospital because ds was 6 wks early -- even though he was totally fine their policy was for him to be in a special care nursery for a minimum of 12 hours -- I said fine but he would be in my arms the whole time -- we arrived at the door to the nursery and a nurse came out with outstretched arms and said are you here to make a drop off? he was only 3 hrs old! I don't think they liked having me sit there holding my baby b/c half hour later they decided ds was well enough to go into a room with me

a couple of days later we needed to enter the nursery again to go on bili-lites and I was sitting there next to ds staring at my huge fluid filled feet and said to dh, look at my feet, why did they do that (meaning why did they pump so much uneccessary saline into my body) The stupid nurse said -- The body sees childbirth as an unnatural attack on it's system and holds that fluid b/c of that????????
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#612 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 08:40 AM
 
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I love that this thread is still alive! I started reading it when I was pregnant, and my DD turns one in just a few days.

I have some more to add.
I have recently moved from a VERY crunchy area to a very rednecky area. In nine months I've seen one other person baby-wearing. Just one! And it was a dad! (not that it's a bad thing, of course - just surprising!)

Comments I've had about my sling/wrap/trekker:
In all kinds of weather: "She must be burning up in there", "She looks so cold, can't you put a blanket on her?"
Or, "She's so squashed, she must be in pain!" - right, that's why she's sleeping so soudly, she's in shock!

I've also had a handful of people walk up and say "my baby could never be in one of those" before they even say hello. As if I needed to know.

I didn't get any comments, but I sure got some royally nasty looks and some serious scoffing when I NIP'd my 11 month old just after she won a crawling contest in her age category. I sat down in the front row of seats that the entire stands were facing, in front of 120+ people and nursed. Scandalous! You'd think I did a striptease by the way some people were staring.
I was there for 45 minutes, and I saw every baby in all the categories eat. Every last one had a bottle. I was literally the only breastfeeding mom out of nearly a hundred.

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#613 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 09:17 AM
 
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Oh, oh, overall dumb comment from MIL!! "You take such good care of him Lisa!" (no, this wasn't sarcastic at all. It was actually said very very lovingly, almost with a tear in her eye.)

Ok, before you think I'm crazy as to why that would be a *dumb* comment, its all context. She's always saying "let him CIO to sleep, or he'll never sleep!" (she's always harping on this point), "**WHY** are you giving him that motrin?!?!?!?!" (like its crack or something), "He needs water Lisa, look how thirsty he is!!" (ummm maybe thats cuz its lemonade you're giving him and he just enjoys the *sweetness*??), ect, ect.

I mean really, if I take such good care of him, why do I need to be told all these other things I just NEED to do?? (I can get sharing her parenting knowledge, but telling me like there-is-no-other-way?)

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#614 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 01:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacarla
The stupid nurse said -- The body sees childbirth as an unnatural attack on it's system and holds that fluid b/c of that????????
:
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#615 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 02:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleteapot
I have recently moved from a VERY crunchy area to a very rednecky area.
this strikes me as a bit offensive. Perhaps your definition of redneck is totally different than mine (blue-collar, a little rough around the edges), but I don't see how social standing has anything to do with parenting styles.

Stacy,
Tennessee redneck and proud of it!
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#616 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 02:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamacarla

a couple of days later we needed to enter the nursery again to go on bili-lites and I was sitting there next to ds staring at my huge fluid filled feet and said to dh, look at my feet, why did they do that (meaning why did they pump so much uneccessary saline into my body) The stupid nurse said -- The body sees childbirth as an unnatural attack on it's system and holds that fluid b/c of that????????
Ya know? I'm going to have to take a little offense to this quote. I've seen a lot of this on MDC and I guess I have to bite my tongue. But the "stupid nurse" just really infuriates me. I am one of those "stupid nurses" who works in the hospital AND I work in obstetrics. While I'm not thrilled with everything that goes on there, and I'm currently pregnant, and I plan to deliver at a birth center instead of where I work, I do not consider myself, my coworkers or all the other nurses in the hospital on other units "Stupid". Ok....the comment that that particular nurse made to you was kind of silly...but your comment about why did they do that to you was also in error. Women have 50-75% more blood volume during pregnancy and when we are no longer pregnant, our body needs to get rid of that fluid. In a perfect world, your kidneys would filter it out right away and you would pee tons the first day or so after delivery. Sometimes, it doesn't work out so nicely and women get swollen feet, hands, face, etc.. for a few days. I've seen this phenomenon happen to women who didn't receive very much IV fluid as well as those who did...so this was not DONE to you.
I'm sorry, I was a tad offended by that post and I had to reply.
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#617 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 04:02 PM
 
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Sorry Amy -- I could have worded it differently -- I do not think nurses are stupid -- I had to sit with this one from like midnight to 7 am though and she did many offensive and probably stupid things -- the way she talked about the mothers/parents while I was sitting there was awful -- "oH that mother wants her baby " rolling her eyes constantly -- I watched her formula feed a baby when there were orders to bf only -- when another nurse asked her she said oh well -- I could go on and on but I don't want all the neg. coming out right now -- nak

I apologize for the offense --
carla
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#618 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 06:15 PM
 
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I take care of another woman's baby. She is pumping so he gets expressed milk (yay!).

However, every now and then when she brings him over, she makes a comment that really baffles me:

"Before we left he spit up a lot, so I know he's full and won't need to eat for a while."

huh??

I'm always thinking, "no...before you left he was full to the brim so he puked it all up. Now he might have a tummy ache, and will need to nurse within the next 20 minutes!" lol
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#619 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 06:23 PM
 
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My husband was walking down the street to a local coffeeshop carrying our baby. This old lady drove by and YELLED out her car window, "Put some shoes on that kid!"
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#620 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 06:46 PM
 
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when i was pg and talking about how i could deliver early or late, and i was actually agonizing over going terribly post date, my mil told me "its your first baby. youll be late." with this smug all-knowing look and a nod of her head, reassuring herself that she was correct. so apparently just because she was 3 weeks overdue with my husband, apparently *all* first time babies are "late".

my husband told me that our (then) 4 month old was manipulating me by crying after i put her in the crib and i was making her obese by bfing her whenever she was hungry (apparently i am supposed to starve her??? i dunno what my options are there.) methinks he had been speaking with his dear mother. i "explained" things to him and he hasnt said anything about it since then.

(for the record i was only 2 days late when i went into labor so mil cant really say she was right, though she probably will anyway. im visiting her in 2 weeks and im sure ill come back with a bunch more stories.)
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#621 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 09:51 PM
 
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That's ok....maybe I took it out on you, so I'm sorry for that. I've read several "stupid nurse" posts recently on MDC and while I understand the desire to avoid alot of mainstream medicine...comments like that irritate me. So...anyway...thanks for replying back about it.
no hard feelings
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#622 of 5048 Old 07-31-2004, 10:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stafl
T
this strikes me as a bit offensive. Perhaps your definition of redneck is totally different than mine (blue-collar, a little rough around the edges), but I don't see how social standing has anything to do with parenting styles.

Stacy,
Tennessee redneck and proud of it!
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend. Yes, over here the definition of "Redneck" is different (I'm in Northwest Canada). Rednecky like... hmm, how to explain. Very conservative, bible-belt, anti-natural, anti-organic... it's kind of a general term, like "crunchy" :LOL hard to explain it! I lived in a very pro-organic area where everyone practiced AP/natural style parenting, in this kind of area, NO ONE DOES.

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#623 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 12:52 AM
 
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Very conservative, bible-belt, anti-natural, anti-organic... it's kind of a general term, like "crunchy"
:LOL that's what it's like here too, although it's very mixed in w/ the jeff foxworthy sort of redneck...
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#624 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 01:15 AM
 
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My dh is from India, has dark skin, and I'm light skinned. My dds (esp #1) turned out somewhere in between with skin, but dd#1 has very dark hair (dd#1 is still somewhat bald lol!) and both have very big dark, almost black eyes. I have light hair and green eyes.

So, some of the comments we've had:

* Are you the au pair, or is she yours?
* Is your husband from Mexico?
* Is she adopted?

To which I came up with the perfect answer after one too many of these comments: I say, "Well I craved chocolate when I was pg and I guess I ate too much because this is how they turned out." That usually shuts them up.

My baby has a feeding tube in her nose that's taped to the side of her face. I get comments like:

* What's wrong with her? (to which I reply "She's perfectly fine, why do you ask?")
* Did someone bite her on the face?!
* Wish I had an eating problem, maybe I could lose some of these extra pounds!

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#625 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 01:33 AM
 
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your daughters are beautiful Darshani.
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#626 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 03:11 AM
 
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My ds is 4 weeks old on Monday and I can't believe it! None the less, I've recently had my father in law come out to visit. His favorite past time is to "bait" people into arguments. He also has way too many opinions about parenthood and I can say I do not agree with him much at all. Today he said to me "All you need to get him sleeping through the night is a pair of ear plugs". My response was that I didn't believe in doing that and that I had an article (well many) on why it wasn't a good idea. At first I was trying to be gentle and remind him who is the mother and that it is my choice in how I want to parent. He went on to say "Well my family turned out fine"... I got up and left the room. I'm a psychologist and seriously don't want to discuss his "fine family".
I personally have always disliked the way people talk to pregnant and new parents as if they are stupid or something. It's soooo unsupportive and just makes parenthood that much more difficult. I used to feel so bad for my sister and sil when they had their children and everyone had an opinion on their parenting. Anyway, right now it makes me want to isolate some more and get to feeling good and confident about things.
Thanks for "listening".
Jennifer, : to Gryphon born 7/5/04, married to Greg an incredible diapering dad :
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#627 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 03:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleteapot
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend. Yes, over here the definition of "Redneck" is different (I'm in Northwest Canada). Rednecky like... hmm, how to explain. Very conservative, bible-belt, anti-natural, anti-organic... it's kind of a general term, like "crunchy" :LOL hard to explain it! I lived in a very pro-organic area where everyone practiced AP/natural style parenting, in this kind of area, NO ONE DOES.
I'm from Canada too. I think most of us have no experience with actual rednecks so the picture conjured up is discriminatory. When I think of redneck the way it's used here in my province we would be describing a potbellied uneducated barefooted roadkill eating shotgun wielding hillbilly.

Aweful, I know.
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#628 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 04:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USAmma
I say, "Well I craved chocolate when I was pg and I guess I ate too much because this is how they turned out." That usually shuts them up.
:LOL
darshani, this had me seriously laughing out loud. what a great reply!!!
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#629 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 09:36 PM
 
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#630 of 5048 Old 08-01-2004, 10:06 PM
 
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my kid's not even here yet and i've already got some good ones:

very early in my pregnancy , i confided in my best friend when that i was in a weird state of shock/denial at times, which i later found out is perfectly normal for the first month or so after you find out you're pg.

she replied by warning me to be "happy and optimistic, but cautiously optimistic" since "so many things can happen this early on", and said that my feelings were probably "an intuitive knowledge not to get overly excited about the baby just in case". well thanks, supportive best friend (who by the way has NEVER BEEN PREGNANT).

then i had some light spotting a few months in (nothing major), and both my midwife and my bf's dad (who is an MD) said it was nothing to worry about unless it got heavier or was accompanied by cramps or fever. my mom flipped out and said "no, you have to go to the emergency room right now! if you're having a miscarriage they can give you a shot to stop it!"

some other gems from my mom:

in response to my saying that there was zero chance of me sending my newborn child to stay with her in michigan for weeks at a time: "so i'll never get to just have the baby without you there telling me how to raise it?"

no, mom, because it's NOT YOUR BABY.

in response to my saying that i did not want the wind-up swing her neighbors were selling at their garage sale, since we don't need a swing because the baby will be in the sling most of the time: "you really need to stop being so unrealistic. i know you're irrational because you're just so hormonal right now but you have to realize that you're not going to be able to hold the baby all the time. you need a swing so you can put the baby somewhere while you take a shower!"

in response to my saying that i did not want her at my home birth, but that we would call her as soon as the baby was born: "QUIT HOGGING THE BABY!"

in response to my mentioning that i had been doing laundry: "before you do that again, you need to get on the internet and find a month-by-month chart of how much weight it is safe for a pregnant woman to lift."

she also told me not to raise my arms above my head. my grandmother (her mother) happened to be there and told her to stop being silly! grandma is also the one who intervened on my behalf about cosleeping, etc. and told my mom that as long as my baby is healthy and happy, she should keep her opinions about how i plan to parent to herself. GO GRANDMA!

then, my bf's mom was over here the other day and asked me where i planned to deliver (she knows full well we're having a home birth with a midwife, my bf told her over a month ago!). when i said "here, at home", she said, "so, the midwife will come here?"


what does she think, the midwife is going to talk me through it via satellite?
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