Ah, the holidays! So many, many stupid remarks! S many perfect comebacks that you only think of later!
Uncle J.: you sleep with the baby? Aren't you afraid of rolling over on her?
Wish I'd said: Considering the thousands of babies that die in cribs in the US every year, shouldn't I be MORE afraid of putting her in a crib?
Grandma: (Holding baby who is whining because she is going through separation anxiety) It's okay for her to cry.
Me: (taking baby back) I'll remember that when you're in a nursing home and are hungry or scared or lonely. It's okay for you to cry!
(maybe a little too harsh, my grandma is really a loving person but just has this bizarre notion that it's okay to let a baby cry when you could just s easily give her what she needs.)
MIL: Maybe when you start giving her solids she'll start putting on weight faster.
Me: No food we can give her has more calories and nutrients than breastmilk.
Aunt M: My grandchildren that were formula fed all gained weight so much better than the breastfed ones.
Me: Yes, breastfed babies are leaner.
Wish I'd said: What's so great about being overweight? OR: Yes, formula grows 'em bigger, but breastmilk grows 'em smarter.
Uncle B: Tell Steve (single BIL) he can get up with the baby tonight.
Me: He wouldn't be much use to her. (meaning because he has no breasts.)
Wish I'd said: That's the beauty of breastfeeding and cosleeping, NONE of us gets up at night.
MIL: Can I give her a biscotti to teeth on?
(She was serious!!!)
Me: No, I don't want to give her any sugar.
Thought to myself but didn't say in order to keep the peace: Are you a COMPLETE idiot?? First of all, she hasn't started on solids at all and you know you are supposed to start one food at a time with a week between, and biscotti have like fifteen ingredients. And you know we are only going to give her vegan food. And the main ingredient is wheat which should be introduced late because it's so often an allergen. AND what kind of moron would give sugar to a six-month-old?
Upon seeing me bf for the second time in one hour...
MIL: Oh, is she having ANOTHER snack?
Aunt M: Tht's what I didn't like about bfing mine. They eat just enough so they aren't hungry and can fall asleep, then they need to eat again before long.
MIL: I'm glad I didn't nurse, it has it's good points but...
Me: Oh, I don't mind, feeding her is usually a welcome mental break from trying to keep her entertained all day long.
Could've said: Hello? I'm sitting here with my feet up watching the game with my uncles and this is supposed to be a bad thing? -or- She always tanks up before bed then sleeps seven hours straight. (okay so it's actually five or six but these people are hung up on sleeping through the night) -or- Isn't that EXACTLY how all the experts tell us to eat? No large meals, just frequent small ones, and eat slowly and just until you aren't hungry, never full or stuffed? -or- I'm so glad I'm giving my baby the best AND nursing releases the same hormones in me that are released with orgasm. (Surely THAT would shut them up!) -or- Yeah, not that I find bfing inconvenient, but God Forbid taking care of a baby should inconvenience you!
WELL! I could go on but it looks as though I already have!
On the bright side, I nursed (very discreetly) with others in the room and didn't get a single comment at all! (sometimes I did nurse in the other room just for the quiet but let them think I was being "modest." Then DH joins me saying he'll "keep me company", and proceeds to channel-surf and fart! thanks hon.)
Veganmama, LOVED the what do you think Jesus ate comment. I so wish you could go back and re-do that moment!
I am so glad we have this forum, it's saving my sanity.