What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 05:12 AM
 
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I am so sad

My girls have been sick for 2 months straight.I am doing everything I can and know how to find out the cause.The most difficult to treat is the constant runs they have had for 9 weeks straight.So I am in tears talking to my terribly toxic mother(first mistake)saying,I dont know what else to do mom or where to go from here.She says welll what about your milk?
Me-what about it?its the best thing for them especially now when they wont drink or eat anything else.
Her-well it can go bad
me-no it cant
her- oh yes it can!
me_no mom it cant.it doesnt go bad or go sour.
her-charmaine,I KNOW it doesnt go sour,but it does go bad.
me-ok mom,i am not going to argue about this anymore.I will say that i know it doesnt bc i have done so much reading about BM that I know I am doing the best thing for them.
her-YA,WHATEVER(she is angry now!)So,what are YOU eating to make them sick?
I hung up the phone.


I just finished e mailing her a ton of info on FAQ and myth sheets,as well as a little note to just leave me the hell alone.

So that has to be my worst.
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#122 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 05:58 AM
 
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My mother told me the "best" thing I could give my dd while she's teething is Popsicles!!! The best thing? She's never had anything but breastmilk, and I should give her Popsicles?
Hey-hey, what about popsicles made from breastmilk (for an older child, of course). :LOL


<edited to add I'm so sorry to hear about so many having such uncaring "friends" and relatives. I guess this is one of the reasons a lot of us practice attachment parenting, to make this world a better place.>

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#123 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Laila...that's an AWSOME idea. Breastmilk popsicles.

I too feel bad that soooo many of us are getting such crappy comments from ppl who are supposed to love us.

The dumb comments from strangers, well, I just expect that and it always surprises me that I NEVER get comments from strangers.

Katie
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#124 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 04:28 PM
 
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My mom told me not to nurse my daughter because she'd turn into a lesbian.

Also, she was watching her while I was at the dentist once. I left some EBM, and my mom said she didn't want to feed her it because "it's a bodily fluid." I left with the babe and got my dh to leave work to watch her.

*SIGH* !

Zee
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#125 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 08:05 PM
 
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I just had to say OMG!!!! I am so glad she didn't influence your decision to bf still!
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#126 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 08:09 PM
 
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After my second child was born, a friend of the family called to see how she was doing. I said, "Oh she's great, she's in her swing right now". And the friend said, "Well, if she's happy being put down then DON'T HOLD HER or she'll always want to be held." ??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????:c onfused: This is my second and probably last baby, and I'm not supposed to hold her? What the hell? My MIL also said, when I mentioned that I have DD in the sling most of the day or my DS (who is 2) is always accosting her in some way, "Oh, but then she'll always want to be held. You should just put her in the crib during the day." ????????????? What?????????
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#127 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 08:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mamazee
My mom told me not to nurse my daughter because she'd turn into a lesbian.

I left some EBM, and my mom said she didn't want to feed her it because "it's a bodily fluid."
Can I just say, OH....MY...GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't breastfeed your female child or she'll turn out GAY? She CAN'T really believe that...that's the most ignorant thing I've heard in a looooooooooooong time. And besides, even if your DD did turn out to be a lesbian, why is that so bad?
And what does your mother mean by breastmilk being a "bodily fluid"? Is she putting it in the same category as urine or vomit? Mamazee, I feel so badly for you. Thank goodness you are raising your daughter how you see fit, and realize the silliness of your mother's ideas on the subject of breastfeeding.
My brother said that if his wife had breastfed, he'd have felt badly that he couldn't feed the baby. My DH and I reminded my bro that DH had given our babies plenty of bottles of EBM, and bro said, "yeah, I guess..." Then, when the subject of extended br/feeding came up, my bro blurted out, "Now that's sexual, you have to admit". I replied, "Paul, you don't honestly believe that a mother would breastfeed her toddler to get off do you? Or are you referring to the toddler-who knows nothing of sex? What exactly are you saying?" Bro kind of chuckled and admitted he had no idea what he was talking about. Our own father was breastfed till he over the age of 3!
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#128 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 08:56 PM
 
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Laila...that's an AWSOME idea. Breastmilk popsicles.
I'm not sure if it would work, but might make a good comeback to the poster's mom who suggested popsicles.

Maybe ice-cream made from breastmilk. Wouldn't separate maybe. Then formed into icecream popsicles. :LOL
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#129 of 5048 Old 01-04-2003, 08:57 PM
 
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My mom doesn't live close by, so I've been giving her updates over email. She has a large extended family and keeps them in the loop. I send her email and say "I'm doing fine, this is week 18" or something.

One day she wrote back and said - how far along are you? and when's your due date?

wellllll, I thought she could count - but I guess when she was pregnant they were still measuring in months, and not weeks. : Although I'm surprised no one she talked to did the math.

So I cleared it up - you get 40 weeks or there about, so we're expecting mid May as the due date, and if we're at 20 weeks now, that's half way.

"Oh! Thanks!!"

I didn't tell her the exact "day" so they won't try to hold me to it Gotta love her
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#130 of 5048 Old 01-05-2003, 02:08 AM
 
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will someone *PLEASE* try to make these pops and let us know how they turn out!!!



thanks

christy

~Christy crochetsmilie.gif, mom to DD Sage (12-2003) joy.gif and DS Isaac (04-2012)  babyboy.gif, wife to Josh geek.gif.

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#131 of 5048 Old 01-05-2003, 05:13 AM
 
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Maybe morgan's_mom ? She's got a freezer full of breastmilk I heard.

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#132 of 5048 Old 01-05-2003, 09:05 AM
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I've got a freezer full of frozen breastmilk, so I'll give it a try when DH wakes up. Hey, regarding the postings earlier about why nurses can be so insensitive to new moms -- I asked my mom this question last night (she was a labor, delivery, and nursery nurse for many years). She replied that nursery nurses get attached to the babies and they assume that new moms are idiots and often feel sorry for the babies who have to go home with these idiots. I said "Don't you think nature supplied the new mom with some degree of instinct and also that new moms will most likley have more support and advice than they'll want once they get home?" She said yes, but that nurses still tend to feel that way. That explains a lot. DH and I were told several times by nurses in the hospital - when we went to the nursery to get our DD - "Oh, she's fine right here. Just leave her be." We had to be confrontational just to take our baby back to the room!!!
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#133 of 5048 Old 01-05-2003, 10:14 AM
 
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Oh yes, those nursery nurses think of those babies as their babies. They wrap them all up tight like burritoes and pop the binkie in the mouths, tidy rows of nice tidy little bundles. Never mind those little bundles just spent 9 mos in utero and need to be next to a warm body, smelling mom, grooving on the love, suckling and being kissed!

(OT--Breastmilk popsicles? Just get one of those popsicle making kits, Tupperware has them, you can get them anywhere in summer, Walmart or wherever. Maybe now in a kitchen store?

Then as your kid gets older, you can make OJ pops, or yogurt mixed with peanut butter, or fruit, etc. Toddlers think this is cool.)
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#134 of 5048 Old 01-05-2003, 07:49 PM
 
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My family really likes the applejuice/bm combination appropriate for all ages (where apple juice is appropriate anyway): sore throats, sniffles, meltdown, nausea, thirst... the list is endless

~diana ild

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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#135 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 12:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by laila

Maybe ice-cream made from breastmilk. Wouldn't separate maybe. Then formed into icecream popsicles. :LOL
Breastmilk does separate, but who cares? They'd still be the best ever!
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#136 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 01:00 AM
 
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wouldn't it be amazing if real true wisdom was as widespread as bullcrap?

I 'm 37 weeks and have gotten it all.

just wanted to share this graphic too


http://www.milksucks.com/breasttop2.jpg
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#137 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 01:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by laila
Hey-hey, what about popsicles made from breastmilk (for an older child, of course). :LOL
Check out the links here (at the bottom of the page) for breastmilk yogurt, popsicles, soap....

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

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#138 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 03:02 AM
 
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At the birth center where I labored there were some bars of soap on the counter in a basket, with some business size cards next to them. DH picked up the soap, smelled it and showed it to me....when I was putting it back I saw the little card that said something to the effect of "this soap is made out of breastmilk, if you want me to make some soap from you milk, contact me at....."

I showed DH and he was soooo grossed out :LOL

Also, there is a show on TV called "Girls Behaving Badly" and they had a stunt they pulled on people in a cheese shop....they had men and women sample some "special cheese" after they got their reaction to the cheese, they told them it was made from breastmilk, and then showed a picture of some woman from a foriegn country....oh, you should have seen the people's faces when they heard this :LOL

After the people were completely grossed out and most of them spit out the cheese, they revealed that this was in fact cow's milk cheese.....some of the people actually got pissed off....
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#139 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 03:39 AM
 
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While pregnant with dd, an old boyfriend who we're still friends with but who lives far away came to visit and the first thing he said to me was "hey fatty"

When i started pumping, someone asked if I feel like a cow.

I of course went into a bit of a rant about how first of all, cows are commonly thought of as big dumb and stupid, and I didn't appreciate the implication, and secondly, it just goes to show how messed up we are societally that when we think of milk and expressing milk we think of cows instead of moms. As though drinking cow's milk is more 'natural' than drinking mother's milk!:
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#140 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 12:12 PM
 
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When dd was diagnosed with a uti, my mother was convinced she got it from bf because I've had them in the past and I HAD to have passed it to her. She'll try anything to try and get me to stop. And dd is only 2.5 months old!
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#141 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ya know what?

It wasn't an ex-boyfriend who called me "FATTY" It was my SISTER.

When I was 4 months PG and barely showing compared to what I looked like at 8 months, my sister came to my house for a Stamping/Scrapbooking party. I had a house full of ppl and she walked in with her friend and said "hey fatty how you doing?" "Wow, you really are a tubbo"

She then later asked me to come to see her at the zoo where she works and I made her promise that she'd NEVER EVER say anything like that again. She tried to tell me that she never said it, but ALL my guests heard her and were once again reminded of what a witch my little sister is.

She also told me, right before I got PG, that I'd be a shi**y mother and that she hoped I couldn't get PG . We'd been ttc for 15 months at that time and hadn't told a soul. I was sooooo hurt and threw her out of my house without telling her that we were TTC and what a long road it had been already.

How that for dumb and mean!

Katie
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#142 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 05:11 PM
 
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kater07, I'm sorry to hear your sister is such a cad!! I would hope she smartens up when around your child! My mom's behavior is actually even more shocking, and I don't allow her around my kids at all. She says stuff like so and so is molesting my kid and uses very graphic language to say it (not to mention that the guy has never seen me or my kids & my mom has schizophrenia), and says my kid has to hear it. So she is not allowed near my kids and scare them that way!


Quote:
Also, there is a show on TV called "Girls Behaving Badly" and they had a stunt they pulled on people in a cheese shop....they had men and women sample some "special cheese" after they got their reaction to the cheese, they told them it was made from breastmilk, and then showed a picture of some woman from a foriegn country....oh, you should have seen the people's faces when they heard this


I loove that!
I can't believe they think cow's milk is so not gross, but that breast milk is so very disgusting that they spit it out!

There was a time that the Japanese thought drinking cow's milk was disgusting and wouldn't ever try eating ice cream!


My baby is a little over 3 mos now, and my mil is trying to convince me to give dd juice diluted with water. Yeah, like tap water is so great and juice is sooo much better for a kid than bm!
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#143 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 05:30 PM
 
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When I first found out I was pregant with my first, my MIL said to me, to my face, twice "Well I hope that you have a miscarriage/God takes it away because you two (Dh and I) wouldn't be fit parents"
When she had the nerve showed up in the NICU when my son was a week old (lung punctured at birth, on a respirator, pulmonary hypertension) without warning you bet it was all I could do to hold my tongue, seeing as how a NICU isn't the place to blow your stack.
Never mind the evil things people can say to you...how about the evil things people can DO to you??
That same MIL called CPS on me 5 days after I gave birth to my third at home because I was "denying him medical care"!!! AHHHHHHHHH! What an abupt end to a blissful babymoon. I was forced to take my perfectly healthy newborn (She claimed to CPS worker and to all of her friends that he was too red (all of my babies were red) and he wasn't breathing right : ) to the emergency room to be checked out or "else" CPS was going to do it for me. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. Luckily the case is closed on us now, as the social worker realized pretty quickly there wasn't much to investigate. Luckier still, I now have a pretty good excuse to forbid her to see our children ever again since her insanity has proven to be a danger to the very fabric of our family, not to mention she told Dh when they ran into each other at the mall Christmas shopping if she could do it all over again she would (despite not getting to see her grandchildren again). GAWD.
Jesse
Mommy to Kieran (3yo), Donovan (21mos) and Liam (6 weeks)
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#144 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 06:52 PM
 
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I could probably sit here and just add things all day...

When my ds was almost two weeks old, my dh dropped me and ds off at my mom's and he left with my dad. my mom told me I was "selfish and just trying to be cute" by BFing him, and "soon I would realize how selfish and wrong I really was..."

She was holding him and he (rightfully!) started to cry. I went to get him, and she turned her back on me. I walked around her and she manuvered into a corner and was doing all she physicially could to stop me from taking him. He started screaming and the only option I had left would have been to over power her, which I was scared to do. I sat down (I was a first time mom) and cried, and he cried to sleep. It was so crazy! Then, my husband came back five hours later to pick me up (waaaaaay late because of my dad). My mom had held ds in her grip the whole time. He was passed out cold like never before (from all the crying). He went for five hours without BFing- a record and I thought my breasts were going to explode!

Looking back on it, I want to scream! I have since been forced to make them realize that we are the parents, not them. I only wonder what took me so long. The weird part is they seem so normal on the outside, but they are completely different people when they are in private.

just wanted to add~ that CPS story was awful! I feel for you!

and that Jesus link was AWESOME!
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#145 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 07:18 PM
 
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This what my mother said to me when I told her intended to breast feed for as long a possible:

"Honey- That’s what kept Victorian women chained to the house"

:

This from a women who nursed all 5 of her children for over a year. She thought formula was the the best thing ever, they just couldn't afford it.

I told her "don't worry I'll still get out of the house in fact I plan to go back to work." The ongoing conversation about pumping was just ridiculous.

To my mom's credit she did "defend" me to any her friends that thought it was weird. She also told me very hush, hush that ”You know your SIL plans to wean at 6 months, maybe you should talk to her"

Pardon me while I puke.gif

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#146 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 07:38 PM
 
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PerfectLove your post makes me want to cry!! I would be tramautized for life it that happened to me! OMG!!! If I was there I would have taken her favorite whatever and threatened to drop it unless she traded it for my kid!!! I wish you could have tackled her!
She knew you couldn't do anything to her though, aggh! I'm soooo sorry you had to go through that for sooo long!

Do you ever talk to her? I can't believe she would do that to two week old.
I gotta hug my baby now!
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#147 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 08:01 PM
 
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You poor women have been through so much opposition! It makes me want to cry, I'm serious.....I have never heard such ignorant remarks in all my 20 years of raising children.
I think I'll call my mom and thank her for being so supportive of me all my life, and for setting such a good mothering example
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#148 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 08:10 PM
 
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PerfectLove, if I were you I would have taken out a restraining order on my mother after that incident. I'm not kidding.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#149 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 09:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Yeah, like tap water is so great and juice is sooo much better for a kid than bm!
I had a lady tell me this just yesterday. She's a sweet lady who's a customer of mine, but has some weird ideas. She's about 65 or so. We were talking about how when her kids were babies the doctors told them to give the babies orange juice and skim milk.

"We didn't breastfeed back then. No one did", she said. "Our kids are healtheir than you kids were, though."

"You mean breastfeed kids are healthier. Right?" I say. Thinking I heard her wrong.

"No, no. You kids who were breastfeed aren't as healthy as my kids were."

"Breastmilk is very healthy. It protects babies from allergies and illness."

"Well yea, but not when mothers eat junk food and drink and take drugs, like they do nowadays!" she says.

Didn't even know what to say. Not sure if she was saying my mom was a drug addict-junk food eater, or she was, or me or what

People have some weird justifications for things....

Karen Mommy of McKenna 2003 & Alysson 2004 homebirth.jpg Expecting stork-girl.gif an early Christmas Present
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#150 of 5048 Old 01-06-2003, 09:45 PM
 
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one of the dumbest things said to me was by my sil....when i told her my youngest was wandering at night, so he now sleeps with us (and did for 2+ years after) she told me to get a deadbolt and oput it outside his door, so i could lock it from the outside. i should then lock him in his room at night (no nightlight either) and leave him there, even if he cries. I told her "your fuc**ng nuts". she also seriously recommended i use that as a disciplining tool also.

I was at the grocery store with all three kids. my two older kids are 11 & 8 years older than the "baby". a lady came up to me and noticed my youngests blue eyes and blonde hair and said "Do they have the same father, or did you adopt him?". I looked at her and said "f*ck off" . i really did say that, the "f" word really working to my advantage in situations like this.
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