What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 5048 Old 01-19-2003, 10:24 PM
 
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DANG! Where's the "dope slap" emoticon??

I heard of a few stories where women with nurses or clueless lactation consultants had their breasts "man handled" and stuffed into their babies mouth. Can you imagine wanting to eat after having the boob brutally shoved into your mouth?? Gad...
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#182 of 5048 Old 01-19-2003, 10:54 PM
 
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Um, I think I would have sued. I probably would have been too shocked to actually do anything at the time, so I would have sued them or filed a criminal charge of assault.
Anyway, that sucks, that's why I was terrified to have my baby at the hospital. That's why i didn't. Damn abusive nurses. I'm glad you turned out okay.
Lauren
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#183 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 01:23 AM
 
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veganmamma...I was 19 and clueless. I'm thankful I was able to have a successful nursing relationship with my son after that trauma. I understand why so many women don't make it with that lack of support.

I must say, though, that of all the nurses we've been through at this hospital, that one and one other were annoying. The rest were absolutely priceless. Last time, I told the nurse I didn't want an epidural, even if I asked for one. When I asked for one (I always do) she encouraged me and reassured me that I could do it.

Imagine that!

The more informed I became, the better my experience. It's too bad I still pay full price, though.
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#184 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 03:19 AM
 
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when i was born (i was a c-sec in 1980, an old style c-sec, YKWIM) the nurse came in and my mom was laying on her side and i was on the bed feeding, or trying to feed, and the nurse asked her what she was doing.

mom goes, "what does it look like?" the nurse came over, took me from my mom, rolled my mom over very roughly, (she just had a c-sec the day before), and told her to sit up and use a pillow. when mom refused and asked to have me back, she took the bed controller and pushed the button that makes the bed go into an upright sitting position. then she shoved a pillow onto my mom's tummy and then she shoved me onto the pillow...then she forced my mom's nipple into my mouth. we were both crying! mom told her to leave and she wouldn't leave until i was fed....my dad was out somewhere, mom was all alone with that crazy nurse.

as if that wasn't bad enough, mom's nipples started to crack and bleed once we got home, and she stopped bfing me altogether.

So i was bf for 3 or 4 days.

and she didn't even try to bf my brother...she said she just knew she would do it wrong. :

oh, and why did my mom have a c-sec?? well, her ob went home saying that she would be in labor all night, and she hadn't progressed (1st baby) the dr coming on the next shift came in, (mom laboring alone in a tiny room) and looks at her and tells her that i "flipped over" and he needed to do an "emergency c-sec". no exam or anything!! the same dr told my dad in the waiting room that the cord was around my neck and was choking me. so dad signed the consent forms and i was born under general anesthesia....: her original ob was shocked and angry when he came in several hours later to check on my mom and found her in surgical recovery.

i don't trust hospitals.

***wow***that was long...sorry

~Christy crochetsmilie.gif, mom to DD Sage (12-2003) joy.gif and DS Isaac (04-2012)  babyboy.gif, wife to Josh geek.gif.

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#185 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 02:13 PM
 
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I can't remember all the advice people have given me, but my MIL who has not cared for a child since the 1960s gave me a book this past Christmas about how to deal w/ a rebellious teenage girl (a new approach). Yes, I know ya'll think there is nothing wrong w/ this gift, but my dd is 6 MONTHS. Is it really nice to put a damper on my enjoyment of being a parent to a new baby by providing me a book about what is to come?

My DH scratched off the writing in the book (signature) and we returned it to the book store for a cook book we wanted. Thanks MIL for the gift

Jenni and Helon 6/29/02
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#186 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 06:07 PM
 
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While I am enjoying this thread as much as anyone I need to remind you of this particular section of the user agreement

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1- Posting in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, namecalling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.
"Other individual" means anyone -- a family member, a nurse in the delivery room, your neighbor, the woman in line at the checkout lane behind you, etc. For example, refering to one's mother as an "idiot" is a no-no. I know this is a fun thread, but please tread with caution. Violations of the rules will result in Alerts being issued. I don't want anyone here to be in that situation. If you haven't read the entire new user agreement, please do so by going to the rules and guidelines forum.

Thanks, Beth

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.
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#187 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 07:27 PM
 
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You've got to be kidding! So basically venting about other people in our lives isn't allowed? This is the first I've heard of that, and I hear people venting all the time about society, their mothers, their MILs, their families, their...whatevers. Is there a rule that says that negative emotion shall not be expressed here? : Well that's just f***ing ridiculous! So I guess the censorship continues...
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#188 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 07:39 PM
 
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I can certainly understand not calling another member's mother an idiot, but I reserve the right to call my own mother whatever I want. *L* Thanks.
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#189 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 07:40 PM
 
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Can we say "some person in a hospital said....
or "a lady in a dept store mentioned.....


Like, a girl I saw yesterday said "your dd's eyebrows are red...she must be tired"

I didn't say "Her eyebrows are always 'red' (right now, like my first ds's was at this age before turning blonde, her hair and eyebrow colors are reddish)"

But I was surprised because I never heard that before! She had just gotten up from a nap! Too funny!
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#190 of 5048 Old 01-20-2003, 07:53 PM
 
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Oh, on another forum I go to, there is a report listed about a guy in Germany being taken to court over something he said in a forum on line. What he said went against a German law.....even though his defence is he was being sarcastic.

Just to let you know it does happen! I don't know yet if he was found guilty. I'll let you know if I can find it again and find out if he got jail time.

Know the laws in your country! I also don't mind following the new forum rules, I don't really feel censored.
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#191 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 01:20 AM
 
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Quote:
You've got to be kidding! So basically venting about other people in our lives isn't allowed?
I didn't say that. Vent away, simply be cautious about how you word things. Calling your mother an idiot is not okay. Saying that you just can't understand where she comes up with her crazy ideas is fine.

I realize these are new rules and we are all getting used to them. I'm asking that we all read the new agreement and follow it. Censorship isn't an issue as this is a privately owned board which states very clearly it's rules and guidelines about what is acceptable or not. People who do not agree simply don't have to become members.
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#192 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 06:47 AM
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Hello everyone,

What Beth has posted as a reminder is correct but let me explain a bit.

We certainly don't mean to close the door to venting. Venting is very theraputic for some of us BUT I am sure we all have it within our ability to vent without bashing someone in the process.

If the insults and namecalling must fly then it is better left to a private venue of discussion rather than a public discussion board such as ours. We have had more than a few situations here where people have come across things said about themselves or others that were insulting and rude. That not only results in us having to pull up and examine the entire course of discussion, sometimes interspersed in the thread of several pages, but we then have to ask for editing or we must remove threads. So we would prefer to have a standard up front that everyone maintain a level of respect for all people.

Thank you so much for your understanding in this matter. We don't mean to make things difficult. We do hope that such guidelines improve the quality of the boards for everyone. If you have any questions or concerns about this or other issues you can PM or email me and I'll be glad to talk it over with you.

Peace everyone

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#193 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 03:39 PM
 
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Love this board!
One of the dumbest questions I ever heard was step-grandmother after my sister had a bi-racial baby. She asked, "Is he striped like a zebra?" In her defense, she lived in a cave and wasn't trying to be mean, she just didn't know.
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#194 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 03:56 PM
 
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Worst/dumbest:

"you have to circ it's so much cleaner!!!!!"

comeback:

it was so long ago I can't remember, but I'm sure I related my personal experience with intact males.
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#195 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 04:31 PM
 
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Ooooh--That striped thing--That was the genuine concern of some of my "friends" in high school when dh and I started dating!

And I just remembered: When I was preg. with my first child, my nmw wasn't there for one visit so I saw a new ob. I had already refused the alpha-fetal protein test on the previous visit, but this woman was sure I had made a mistake. I explained that, as a special ed. teacher, I fully understood the impact of a special needs child and that we were prepared for anything, but we wanted to enjoy the pregnancy without the anxieties of false positive test results, ect...

She said: But what if it's something truly horrible? Don't you want the opportunity to terminate the pregnancy?

me: No.

Ob: But, but, but....what if the baby doesn't have a head?

me: Ummm--don't you think that will show up on the sonogram?

Ob: silence.

:

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#196 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 04:33 PM
 
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I've never even heard of that test!


Striped!!

I love this thread!!!
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#197 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 04:58 PM
 
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Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions. Why do people feel the need to ask? I would never ask them something so personal like 'how much money do you make?'. We got this question all the time!
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#198 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 05:16 PM
 
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When I was 7 mos pregnant with my first, I was working and a classmate from high school (who maybe wasn't an idiot but just played one on tv ) came into my workplace (Walmart) and in front of a long line of customers shouted, "Whoa! when's it due!?" I told her...then she said, "Who's the father?!"

Um. "My HUSBAND."
She said, "You're MARRIED?!"
I said, "Yes."
She said, "Why wasn't I invited?!"
I said, "We only invited family and friends."
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#199 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 05:17 PM
 
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Dont forget the "was this pregnancy planned?" questions.
Oh yes! :LOL We've been telling people about my pregnancy (yes a bit early, but we're too excited to not share!) and we get a lot of people who, if not specifically ask that question, reserve their response until they ask something like "Is that a good thing?" or "Should I be happy?". Which is pretty silly, considering my Dh and I tell people with these goofy grins on our faces! I'm kinda glad I told my close friends we were TTC because now they are all excited for us! Told one friend two nights ago and she was jumping up and down. Very sweet.

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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#200 of 5048 Old 01-21-2003, 05:36 PM
 
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chellemarie, that is priceless
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#201 of 5048 Old 01-22-2003, 12:59 AM
 
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Ohmygosh... this has had me laughing and crying so much today! (It took me three naps to get through all of 'em =) ) It's so sad that people can be... less than informed; it's painful when they're hurtful, and worse when it's family. I'm so sorry for all that's been endured. I'm glad things seem to be getting better. =)

My favorites:
My 41 week prenatal visit, I mentioned I didn't want a VE (let 'em do one my first at 40 weeks and found it *very* uncomfortable) and the nurse chick was shocked... "What, you want a c-section?" As if more VE's = vaginal birth...? Ironically, after 30 hours of labor and 3 hours of serious pushing, the kid didn't move and I ended up with a c-section after all (much to my dismay).

That visit, the Dr did an U/S to check for the fluid and such. She informed me grimly that I had a Grade B placenta (or something like that) and tried to scare me into induction. I really wanted to make it through unmedicated, and knew if I started with meds, I'd end with 'em too. I declined induction... on my chart she wrote that it was "refused." I really was nice about it! And then I went home and looked up the placenta thing... whatever grade I was at was normal for 40 weeks... so being at 41 seemed to be a good thing to me...? Oopps... that makes sense. Heaven forbid. =)

Another nurse at the doctor's office told me not to read so much. I'm the oldest child and an engineer darn it, don't tell me not to be informed. "OK... I'll just blindly do whatever you tell me to do." I think they enjoy the power that knowledge gives them way too much.

A friend was talking to DS, "I bet your mommy picks you up whenever you squalk." So I responded for DS, "Of course my mommy does! She loves me!"

I find it amusing how people who formula feed their babies have a need to explain why they didn't bf. I understand that there are circumstances that make bf'ing undesirable, but my MIL was told by her doctor that she was too big and all she'd do is make milk all day. ? A clerk at some store said she tried, but her baby was always hungry so she gave up after a week. That would probably be about the same time that babies go through a growth spurt and nurse all day to increase your milk supply... it's amazing what education does for you. *sigh* I think people who have less than logical reasons like that have a need to "confess." I think they feel guilty and want to be told that they did the right thing. I don't like to lie, so I don't say anything supportive; but I don't condem them either. I think they were the victims.

Along the same lines, I was talking to my grandfather-in-law... kinda. I've never met him, but he's a great guy. He told me about how his daughter was so fussy at night and he spent hours rocking her to sleep. Then they found out the doctor (problem #1) told them the wrong amount (problem #2) of formula (problem #3) to give her. Like the doctor knows when a baby is hungry. *sigh* Goodness, I eat when I'm hungry... Whatever.

Maybe, someday, people will start to use that gray matter between their ears. =)
~Melissa
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#202 of 5048 Old 01-22-2003, 11:18 AM
 
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Originally posted by MelissaEvans
. I declined induction... on my chart she wrote that it was "refused." I really was nice about it!
FWIW - "Refused" is just a medical term used when you decline something. It has nothing to do with how you decline or what your attitude was.
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#203 of 5048 Old 01-22-2003, 11:24 AM
 
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That's true - but words still have power.

(Just thinking of Dr. Mendolsohn's words - he pointed out where the power was intended to be kept...)
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#204 of 5048 Old 01-22-2003, 05:35 PM
 
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I just found out how "mainstream" my sil is...yesterday she had me babysit her school age kids and told me how "I need to supplement my dd with formula at 4 mos AND start her on solids"....

I kinda mentioned something about my allergies to milk and such and she dropped it at least

I talked to the nurse at the clinic and she reassured me bf babies get all they need from mommy-I was just whining about my sil to her, and was happy to get the reassurance.

My dd is on the 75 th percentile for weight and head circumference, and 50th for length
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#205 of 5048 Old 01-22-2003, 07:50 PM
 
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Oops, I failed to expain that I ended up allowing the VE (sort of a compromise on my part for refusing the induction). Maybe I could go back and sue the nurse. "You said if I had the exam I wouldn't have a c/s." =)

I've been lucky; all three of my moms are supportive of nursing. Though my birth-mom kept trying to get me to be more discreet when I was still in the hospital learning. Heck, I just went through hell and back, ask me if I cared that nurses and visitors (close friends and family members) saw what my baby ate! =) I've even "warned" my mil that I plan to nurse until ds is ready to stop, and if that means while I'm pg the next time and have another baby, so be it - and she's OK with that. =)

~Melissa
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#206 of 5048 Old 01-23-2003, 02:53 AM
 
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Anyone who has read this whole thread knows what a crazy family I have. I just got my email and there was a really nasty letter from a close aunt telling me how messed up I was for homeschooling, and I starting crying. I was so sad and dh is sleeping for the night...I came here and stumbled across this thread and was laughing in no time. Thanks, everybody!!
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#207 of 5048 Old 01-23-2003, 03:21 AM
 
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Hey PerfectLove,

You're all right. Don't be sad.

If they didn't have homeschooling and breastfeeding and other stuff to pick on--
your relatives would criticize the color of your drapes. Or you know, something. Anything. Politics. Religion. Basically, anything that indicates how you are an independent adult!

I think you are a very accommodating niece to actually give your aunt something real to disagree about with you. : Not only that, but you sound like a great mom, too! Keep up the great work!

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#208 of 5048 Old 01-23-2003, 05:48 PM
 
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Do some research and find articles written about how all the top colleges in the country are fighting over the homeschooled kids because their educations are so top notch.
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#209 of 5048 Old 01-23-2003, 10:24 PM
 
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Can't believe I made it through reading this whole thread!

Had to add a few beauties that I've gotten:

When my dh told his boss that we were expecting our second child his boss said he was amazed we even ever had sex since our first son still slept in bed with us. Now I'm normally a very polite and rather quiet person, but this just was so rude and couldn't help respond - so I said to him, "We obviously have a better sex life than you since we're creative enough to have sex somewhere other than our bedroom." That pretty much shut him up.

My 2 yr old was hugging me and shying away from some relatives he had only met once before and my m-i-l says to me - he's such a mama's boy. I picked him up gave him a big hug and beamed a great big smile at her and said, "He sure is my boy!"

My oldest ds has curly blond hair and lovely blue eyes - so people always thought he was a girl. One clerk in the mall told me he was too beautiful to be a boy :

Ok - and now I just have to add some come backs I've been thinking of as I read the threads about people saying that bfing your child causes them to be homosexual:

I think if someone said this to me I'd look at them with total seriousness and say, "Gee, I've done a lot of research on bfing and I've read that it makes children healthier, smarter, less likely to be obese, (add the other 100 reasons to bf) etc. . .but I've never seen any link to bfing and homosexuality. Where is it that you read that research - I'd like to look into it." Now there are going to sit there and feel like a big old a$$hole b/c they realize that they have just spouted you complete nonsence with no intellectual basis what so ever.

or

I might say - hmmmmm. . . that doesn't really make sense now does it because 50 years ago there was no formula and everyone bf, right - so then what? all our ancestors were gay? If all our ancestors were gay then they wouldn't have been having heterosexual sex and creating us - the future generation - now would they have. However that's probably just a little too complex for any fool whose going to try to tell you bfing your child is going to make them gay.
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#210 of 5048 Old 01-23-2003, 11:59 PM
 
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I live in San Francisco, and most of my community is pro- queer (if not queer themselves), so i doubt I'm ever going to ge that comment about bf causing homosexuality. but if I do I know just what I'll say: Is it really that easy? Wow!
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