What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Page 93 - Mothering Forums
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#2761 of 5048 Old 06-11-2006, 12:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by corwinegall
I get the sleeping question a LOT, its weird. I'm not bothered by it so much, but I am really worried that when I get older I'm going to start asking that question, that subconsciously its sinking in that its something you're supposed to ask strangers with babies.
I think on most of the dumb baby questions (does he sleep well, is he "good", etc) people are just looking for something to say, a common topic that works for all babies.
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#2762 of 5048 Old 06-11-2006, 01:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Starr
"Does she speak spanish?"

Asked after we brought our daughter home from Guatemala at 4 months. My answer, "Yes, fluently"
You know, I actually understand that one. She'd had Spanish, I assume, spoken to her since she was born, and I feel that a 4 month old does get used to words being spoken. So while of course she wasn't *speaking* it, there's a level of understanding there.

That said, DS had this weird magical understanding of Korean words spoken to him by his grandmother, even on the first time hearing them. It was wild. We'd say something to him and he wouldn't respond, then she'd say it in Korean and he would do what she said (not just a response indicating he'd heard her etc)...I think "give that to me" was the first example of it, when he had something he shouldnt' have. This was not at 4 months, but early enough that it made an impression.
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#2763 of 5048 Old 06-11-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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Our landlord: What baby you have, boy or girl?

Me: Girl.

Landlord (disappointed): Oh, well. You can try again.
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#2764 of 5048 Old 06-11-2006, 05:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nubianamy
My mom told me about her mom (who died when my mom was in her 20s, so I never met her, but she had 9 kids)'s weirdest parenting "technique": when her sister Annie would have temper tantrums, her mom would throw a cup of cold water in her face. :
My Mum told me once my grandmother dumped a whole BUCKET of cold water on my aunt, for not doing what she was told.
Makes me want to cry even imagining it :

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#2765 of 5048 Old 06-11-2006, 07:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by weliveintheforest
My Mum told me once my grandmother dumped a whole BUCKET of cold water on my aunt, for not doing what she was told.
Makes me want to cry even imagining it :
My mom occasionally threw a cup of cold water on me in the morning if I didn't get up when she told me to (after a few tries). I felt so ashamed and angry when she did that. I guess that's why I don't see it as any kind of reasonable technique.
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#2766 of 5048 Old 06-11-2006, 07:33 PM
 
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My mom was trying to toilet train my oldest brother (he's now 35) when he was small and my dad's SIL said "I can make him go!!" and poured cold water on his penis while he sat there to "make him go" Apparently it was weeks before my mom could get him to go NEAR the bathroom after that!


For us, when we told people we were expecting a boy (we have 3 girls too) I hear "oh so now you can stop having kids!" more times than I can count! Like the only reason we had girl #2 and 3 was hoping for "one with a penis" ??!?!?!?! ARGH! :
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#2767 of 5048 Old 06-12-2006, 03:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pjlioness
My mom occasionally threw a cup of cold water on me in the morning if I didn't get up when she told me to (after a few tries). I felt so ashamed and angry when she did that. I guess that's why I don't see it as any kind of reasonable technique.
While that was just cruel, wiping your face with a cool or cold damp cloth is a really great way to wake up those times when you've had enough sleep, but your eyeballs still feel tired.
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#2768 of 5048 Old 06-12-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by weliveintheforest
My Mum told me once my grandmother dumped a whole BUCKET of cold water on my aunt, for not doing what she was told.
Makes me want to cry even imagining it :
DH and I had some friends when we were still just dating who would put their 2 year old little girl in a cold shower (with all her clothes on) when she wouldn't stop tantruming
They actually did it one evening when we were at their house.
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#2769 of 5048 Old 06-13-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ripcurlgirl26
And my mother, insisting that I shove a pacifier in DS's mouth! "He has a strong urge to suck, he neeeeeeeds a pacifier." Give me a break. I'm his pacifier!
If your ds has a strong need to suck and wants a pacifier, believe me, he will let you know. My ds would suck long enough to bring the milk down, then squirm away and push my breast away as the milk poured out of me. All he wanted was the suck.

R~mama to 3

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#2770 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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ok - not nearly as bad as some but seemed really bad at the time for me...

my MIL and I had a great relationship before our first child was born. after Eva was born it seemed everything changed. My MIL and I just have very different philosophies on parenting...

a few days after birth, my husbands family came to stay with us for a few days to see Eva. I was still feeling so tired, fat, gross etc...MIL was taking pictures of our daughter and then proceeded to turn to take some pictures of me too, I asked her not to and she took them anyway. I was emotional at the time and didn't want to say something that I would later regret. She says to me "you need pictures with her, she's your daughter."
I was like "yes, I know she's my daughter, I think we'll probably end up in some pictures together!" I just couldn't imagine me unslep, unshowered, with a leaked on tshirt - being th ephoto to end up on the mantel.

a few days later i was still have a lot of difficulty getting Eva to latch on due to flat nipples. I spent so long everyday just working with her to achieve a latch. My MIL asked if we were going to use a pacifier. I told her that I didn't know bu definitely not well until after bfing was established. A few minutes later I walked in the room to find her putting a pacifier in my daughters mouth. I was stunned! I grabbed it and walked out of the room. I was almost in tears, I had been working so hard and for NO REASON she was completely undermining all that I had done. I don't even think Eva was fussing!

Then when Eva was about 3 months old we were out to breakfast with my MIL and she grabbed Eva's pacifier and dipped it in syrup and went to stick it in her mouth. I grabbed it and just looked at her and said "Are you serious?"

I realize that these are actually stupis things that she did and didn't actually share but i figured, close enough.

the thing that makes me so mad is that i want to trust her. she always talks about wanting to take the kids to stay with her but i can't really consider it when she so obviously doesn't respect us enough to honor our (my) wishes. it just feels like this power struggle.
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#2771 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 03:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmPaige
a few days later i was still have a lot of difficulty getting Eva to latch on due to flat nipples. I spent so long everyday just working with her to achieve a latch. My MIL asked if we were going to use a pacifier. I told her that I didn't know bu definitely not well until after bfing was established. A few minutes later I walked in the room to find her putting a pacifier in my daughters mouth. I was stunned! I grabbed it and walked out of the room. I was almost in tears, I had been working so hard and for NO REASON she was completely undermining all that I had done. I don't even think Eva was fussing!
I don't think those are minor concerns. I had a hard time latching on DS and if someone had interfered with that it would have really made me hurt and angry. That shows a serious lack of compassion.
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#2772 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alisaterry
I don't think those are minor concerns. I had a hard time latching on DS and if someone had interfered with that it would have really made me hurt and angry. That shows a serious lack of compassion.
: It also sounds like MIL is uneducated about breastfeeding (or at least the difficulties that can arise).
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#2773 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 04:48 PM
 
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oh yah -

and when we were trying to pick a name for our first we let everyone give us input - SO STUPID of me!

when we were pretty set on Eva (pronounced like Ava) my sister said to me -
"over my dead body." who says that???

so we immediately decided that that was the name!

my sister is still living and we asked nobodies advice when naming our son!
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#2774 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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This happened this morning at work. I just finished pumping, and saw an acquaintance. He asked me how old my baby is, 5 months, then he asked me if I'm pumping the milk so I can sell it. Whaaat? Yes, I'm getting fabulously rich by having my baby get formula at daycare while I pump mik to sell it.
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#2775 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dogmama
This happened this morning at work. I just finished pumping, and saw an acquaintance. He asked me how old my baby is, 5 months, then he asked me if I'm pumping the milk so I can sell it. Whaaat? Yes, I'm getting fabulously rich by having my baby get formula at daycare while I pump mik to sell it.
now thats funny!:
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#2776 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dogmama
This happened this morning at work. I just finished pumping, and saw an acquaintance. He asked me how old my baby is, 5 months, then he asked me if I'm pumping the milk so I can sell it. Whaaat? Yes, I'm getting fabulously rich by having my baby get formula at daycare while I pump mik to sell it.
You should have told him where do you think you've been getting the creamer here at work?
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#2777 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 05:26 PM
 
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It also sounds like MIL is uneducated about breastfeeding (or at least the difficulties that can arise).
well, she actually BF and was there the whole time i was working so hard at it...i don't want to think that she wanted me to fail...

i thought of another thing...

all the time when i was pregnant with my first people would tell me how hard parenting is and tell my all the difficulties etc...
why do people feel the need to do that?

whenever i see pregnant people now i always tell them how wonderful it is to be a parent, how our kids have changed our lives so much...for the better!
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#2778 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 06:26 PM
 
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5 pages of it!!! hahahaaa

dumb thing said to me:

ex mother-in-law used to tell me "only animals breastfeed" or "it's umm I don't know...UNNATURAL" I almost killed her. LOL Then with second baby she'd roll her eyes "oh no...here we go again" (then she'd get disgusted and go outside for a good old healthy smoke...) With the 3rd I had to go back to work and *sob* went to bottle and she said "Oh thank god, no more hanging out like an old cow" ok can I kill her NOW????

Such tact...such grace....

My own mother thought babies should teeth on stewed beef bones with a bit of meat still on it "for flavor"

Suprised I"m alive....
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#2779 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 07:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EmPaige
well, she actually BF and was there the whole time i was working so hard at it...i don't want to think that she wanted me to fail...
Well, I think it's just that some people don't have problems, or don't nurse long enough to have problems, or if they do have problems don't mind supplementing or putting on a schedule, etc. And some babies have NO problem with pacifiers and nursing.

The problem might just be that she can't figure that other people have different situations and different babies than hers.

Take my stepmom. She had three kids, nursed the first two until they were each 2, then her daughter insisted on going to beyond 4. She never had problems, nursed them when she and they needed, it was all very simple for her. When she comes across people with problems, she gets frustrated b/c she wants to just say "just NURSE, it's really simple!"

Now, she comes across people with problems ALL the time, as she is a NICU nurse (went through prereqs and nursing school while first pregnant then with a newborn/infant/early toddler = my half-sis...so she even knows nursing while working, going to class, and studying!). Her solution is just to shut up. I suggested she become a breastfeeding helping sort of nurse at her hospital, but despite the extra pay it would bring (along with her RIDICULOUSLY high salary for TWO days of work a week) she realizes she's of NO help in those situations b/c she'll want to just put baby in mama's arms, leave them alone, and assume they'll work it out. She recognizes that that doesn't always help.

Seems to me that your MIL hasn't learned that about herself and others. I wonder if you could bring up "your friend's stepmother" to your MIL, and see if she could get anything extrapolated about herself...hmm.....
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#2780 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Aeriane
My own mother thought babies should teeth on stewed beef bones with a bit of meat still on it "for flavor"

Suprised I"m alive....
Well, bones are actually not that bad for teething, as long as the baby is old enough for meat.
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#2781 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 09:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EmPaige
oh yah -

and when we were trying to pick a name for our first we let everyone give us input - SO STUPID of me!

when we were pretty set on Eva (pronounced like Ava) my sister said to me -
"over my dead body." who says that???

so we immediately decided that that was the name!

my sister is still living and we asked nobodies advice when naming our son!
LOL, when I was pregnant we didn't know if dd was a boy or girl. We let everyone know the names we picked out and while everyone LOVED the girls name, everyone HATED the boys name. Ok, fine, I don't care. But my MIL's insistance that we never name a boy that because it's not a Christian name, just made me want to use it more. We had a girl. MIL is still so against the name, I'm hopeing for a boy next time just to piss her off with us using the name! Totally backfired on her!

Mama of three.
 
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#2782 of 5048 Old 06-14-2006, 11:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by elmh23
But my MIL's insistance that we never name a boy that because it's not a Christian name, just made me want to use it more. We had a girl. MIL is still so against the name, I'm hopeing for a boy next time just to piss her off with us using the name! Totally backfired on her!
Sooooo, what's the name?
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#2783 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 02:19 AM
 
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A friend of mine who is single and childless was talking to me on the phone when I was pregnant with my daughter. She randomly said "just promise me you'll quit breastfeeding when the kid has teeth!" I was like "you do realize that babies start getting teeth at 6 months old, right?"

shows how little she knows about kids! even the AAP suggests breastfeeding until 1 year. not even mainstream people think thats weird.

made me realize too how people throw shade at breastfeeding mamas....they have NO CLUE what they are talking about most of the time.

I explained to her that and that I feel fine about breastfeeding until 2 (or longer if it feels right for me and my baby) and told her the health benefits etc. She's a really cool girl, but just made some crazy assumption without knowing the facts...

XOXO
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mama to Milena Anjali (4/26/06) and Vincent Asher (4/13/09) ~ married to the love of my life since 2002.
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#2784 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 12:52 PM
 
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Just saw someones post about how a family member was like, "You're not naming your kid that!" Um....yeah...BTDT....

DD's name is Emilia. It is pronounced like Amelia, but with an "eh" sound at the start instead of an "uh" sound. We call her Emi 90% of the time & have since we found out her gender before she was born.

My SIL didn't actually SAY anything about the name, but at our baby shower the spelled the name Amelia on all the stuff she gave. No biggie...it's a little different so we just figured she didn't realize how we were spelling it. DH nicely mentioned it to her & we figured that would be the end.

Well, fast forward a couple months to the hospital after DD was born. SIL & the IL's were visiting & brought gifts. Lo & behold EVERY thing SIL had written on said "Amelia". This time *I* corrected her (and not as nicely as my DH had ). She basically said, "Yeah, I know that's the way it's spelled, but I don't like it and it's a stupid way to spell it, so I'm spelling it the other way..."

Once again...um....NO! I also told her that she could start spelling/pronouncing DD's name correctly or I would gladly start calling her "Kirsten" instead of "Kiersten" since frankly I like Kirsten more.

FWIW, she hasn't done it since!

Holly
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#2785 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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I got a couple of dumb ones the other day.

"In this day and age, formula is just as good as breastfeeding." Uh, no it's not.

"I'm a big fan of circumcision." I guess she meant that she likes the way a cut penis looks more, but I VERY much doubt she's ever seen an intact penis.

I let her know just exactly how ridiculous she was being on both accounts. Thankfully, she has no kids and is not planning any. She's the type of person to do whatever everybody else does or whichever way she thinks is easiest for HER, no matter how hard it is on the baby.

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#2786 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 03:32 PM
 
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Saw a friend from college the other day, he asked about ds, 2 months old, "So, is he walking yet?"
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#2787 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 04:07 PM
 
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These are hysterical...I'll have to go back and read them all later. I only got through a couple pages.

Okay, here's mine.

About 3 days after bringing DS home from the hospital, this girl I grew up with ~ who isn't married and doesn't have kids (yet) and is extremely competitive and wants everything I have ~ came up to Nate's nursery with me while I nursed him. I was extremely awkward, because we were both still "learning" and didn't want to nurse in front of her fiance. (sp) I didn't mind her coming up and keeping me company...but then she asks me :

"So when he nurses does it feel...sexual? Because I know when Lenny sucks on my boobs I get turned on."

Seriously? I looked at her and said ~ "I'm so worried that he's latched on and sucking and getting enough to eat that "sexual" hasn't once crossed my mind. But thanks for bringing it up..."

Wow...all I can say is Wow. She has told me that she is going to bottle feed her babies so that Lenny can share the responsibilities. I didn't bother to try to change her mind too much. I just told her that it's proven that mamma's milk is best for babies.
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#2788 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 04:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jmkteach

"So when he nurses does it feel...sexual? Because I know when Lenny sucks on my boobs I get turned on."
Right, because we all know that not one single part of the human body can be multi-purpose :
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#2789 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 04:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CryPixie83
Sooooo, what's the name?
Jasper Matthew. Jasper we love and dh's nn is Casper (he has Casper the Friendly Ghost tattooed on his chest, lol) and Matthew is after dh. MIL is praying I never have a boy.

Mama of three.
 
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#2790 of 5048 Old 06-15-2006, 05:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suprgrl
My mom asked how often ds nursed each day. I said I wasn't sure. (She thinks he is too big: 17 pounds at 4 months) She then told me that by 3 months he should only need to bf 3-4 times a day!! Sometimes he does that before 9 am!! Ugh. How sad. No wonder my mom's milk dried up so fast with my brother (I was ff). My poor little brother. I bet he was so hungry all the time....my mom said she just thought it was colic
Makes you wonder how the human race has survived this long, doesn't it?? :
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