What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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And what PERFECT comebacks did you have ready or did you think of later?

If you have other combacks, please pass them around.

I am sure that we could all use some good laughs!!!
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#2 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 02:00 AM
 
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When dd was about 7 wks my grandfather said she was spoiled, I told him "You're right, she's spoiled with love"

I hate it when people tell me to just let her "cry it out" or that I'm going to spoil her

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#3 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 02:16 AM
 
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When I was pg at Thanksgiving, my uncle, who thinks he's the head of the family, came and sat down next to me. All showy and fatherly he leans over and says

"Ya know, parenting is hard work."

I just wanted him to go away. I leaned over and said

"Well... Duh."

He didn't know what to say. I realized he had this whole head of steam, prly a monologue about how you just can't prepare, such a challenge, yada yada. He just got up and left. I told my mom about it later. I was all, what the?? And she and her sister laughed their butts off because he thinks he's so wise and everyone wants to hear what he has to say. Blow hard. Hubby and I totally changed our lives around so we could do the kids thing, I thought it was pretty obvious we were taking it seriously. I guess not to everyone...
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#4 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 02:37 AM
 
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I was told that letting him stand before 7 months would make him bow legged and that when he sat on the floor and rocked back and forth he had mental problems! Plus I had a dr tell me she thought he was deaf cause when she tapped the table by his head he didn't look for the noise!

No come backs I was just astounded at the stupidity!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#5 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 02:40 AM
 
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My MIL said that by nursing my ds I was going to turn him into a homosexual.
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#6 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 02:47 AM
 
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After I had my third daughter I was walking around some shops with my two daughters in tow and my third newborn daughter asleep in a stroller. An old lady walking by peeked into the stroller and said "gee, I bet you would have rather had a boy", then walked away. I was shocked! My oldest daughter, 5 years old at the time, asked me what was wrong with being a girl. I told her nothing, that the lady was just stupid.
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#7 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 11:21 AM
 
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My kids have big heads. All of them. Not balloon heads, just bigger than usual. Their dad has a big head, so they get it from him. (Not my side of the family!LOL!) I took my youngest to the pediatrician, but my pedi was away, so we saw his partner. By this time, ds was already sitting up and crawling, so I sat him on the table and the doc began to exam him, measure him, etc. When he took his head circumference, he gasped, "His head is too big! We need to follow-up on this!" I was for a minute, like "Oh, my G-d! What's wrong with my baby!" Anyway, the doc started to make plans for a CAT scan and an MRI, EKG, etc, and said, "Don't let him sit up until we get the test results in! I need you to take him to the hospital right away!"
Well, common sense took over again, and I figured, Well, if he has a neurological problem, would he be sitting up, crawling, eating, playing, and developing normally? Of course not!
So, I told the doctor I thought he was over-reacting, and yes, his head was a little on the large side, but if he was already crawling, and been sitting up for quite some time, why did he think he was not well?
The nurse started to crack up, she ran and got a tape measure and started to measure dh's head. She showed the doctor how big dh's head was, laughing hysterically. (Poor dh!)
Doc still insisted on having him tested, but I refused, and said, look, if my baby was not well, I would be the first to know. I think he's fine, and there is no reason for alarm. Yes, he got a big head, but so do my other kids. If anything should appear strange, I'll rush him in.
The nurse agreed with me.
When my regular doctor came back, I saw him and told him about it and we both had a good chuckle. My doc said." Some folks just have big heads!"
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#8 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 01:49 PM
 
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The dumbest thing ever said to me was while I was pregnant with our youngest. I was talking to an ex-friend, who was a little dumb to being with, about going on vacation and how I couldn't wait to go swimming. She told me that I can't go swimming while I was pregnant because I would drown my baby. The whole comment shocked me because I have never heard anything so dumb before that I just sat there and couldn't say anything... I think I laughed though.
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#9 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 02:25 PM
 
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I went to visit one of my childless friends and she had another friend over who had a 3 or 4 year old there. My ds was maybe 3 months or something at the time...

So I of course feed him while we are there and the childless person says..."does it hurt?"..I'm like "would I do it if it hurt???" This is also the friend that kept asking me if it hurt when the baby moved when I was still pregnant...duh.

Anyway, then the other person who had a child had to go into the reason she couldn't breastfeed her baby..
"Oh, I really tried and finally after day two the nurses realized that I wasn't making any milk..so I had to give her formula..." blah blah blah..then proceeds to tell me "man, I had to wear the tighest bra I had when I got engorged..it was so painful..."
Not wanted to completely embarrass everyone I just sat there puzzled by this logic..."I have no milk, but I am in so much pain because I am engorged"... :

I always wonder, why can't people just say "I don't want to breastfeed, that doesn't work for me..." I would have much more respect for their honesty then the idiotic stories they come up with...

Oils
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#10 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 04:18 PM
 
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I've had many negative comments about bfing:

MIL told dh "She only needs to nurse ds for two months."
My grandmother "You only need to nurse for two months. That's how long your cousins were nursed (2O plus years earlier)." I responded with the Amercian Pediatrics Assoc. says a year and the WHO (Word Health Organiz.) says two years and that extended nursing has great benefits like fewer ear infections. She responded with, "Well your cousin had tubes put in even tho' he was breastfed for two months." At the time I had no come back to that. But now I believe from what I've read (and learned from moms telling me that even tho' they nursed for two months or less and baby needed tubes put in at about a year old from ear infections) that inner ear problems in babies is only lessened while being breatfed. :
My grandmother "My doc told me my milk was too thick and was giving your dad diahrea (sp?) so I had to give him goats milk" I asked how the doc knew it wasn't just normal runny explosive breastfed baby poop? She said he just knew. And my ds was 3 months at the time and had that diahrea explosive thing going on. So I think it made her wonder.
MY SIL at every holiday gathering: "Have you tried giving him a bottle??" I have to explain every time that he has gag reflex just to get her to quit asking.

People are so uneducated about bfing b/c it is not the norm right now. My hope is that bottlefeeding will not be the norm one day so my future daughter or grandchildren won't have to go thru the hell I went thru and goofy questions people ask. But a good friend is not sure she will breastfeed her next baby and I am so sad. Maybe it was b/c all the frustration I had in the first few months of learning??
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#11 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 04:43 PM
 
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Pumpkinseed, that's a good one! And here I thought straight men LIKED boobs
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#12 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 04:57 PM
 
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P'nseed ... ... that's amazing.

This thread is a riot. In the "sad but true" category of riots.

I've got too many to add, but just one comment off the top of my head ... a friend who said "if you don't wean by one then they'll never wean!" ... :

Better remember to nurse 'em one last time before they walk down the aisle ... :LOL



- Amy
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#13 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 05:27 PM
 
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I had a friend who did the "I couldn't BF because I had no milk - just a few drops " (duh - thats all that is supposed to be there). And then go on to complain because her Dr. wouldn't give her the shot to dry up. : I just wanted to stand up and scream. Some people just don't get it.

The dumbest thing I have ever heard is one of the nurses in the NICU when dd#1 was born told me I wuld know she was latched on right when it hurt.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#14 of 5048 Old 12-22-2002, 11:57 PM
 
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What is it with EVERYONE asking, "so...is she sleeping through the night?" Like it's some kind of contest or something. I used to actually try and answer this question. My answer would go something like this, "well, we co-sleep and I bf, so when she's hungry I just kind of roll over. It's night, so I'm not sure how often it happens. Usually I fall asleep with her eatting...." You get the point.
I got so tired of having to explain why what I'm doing is okay, and to some people that this was not a criminal act. So, now I've just started outright lying to the various strangers and friends of friend's that ask me this question, I just say "great!" Sometimes people look disappointed when I say this, like they wanted me to say "horrible!, she cries all night." People are so wierd...
I wanted to tell a nice story too...
One afternoon I was at my grandma's and I took a nap while she watched dd for me. When I woke up my grandma said, "I just walked her and held her the whole time you slept, she's only happy when you hold her. You've really spoiled her."
and I relplied to my grandma something like "I guess I have."
and grandma said, "isn't it great spoiling babies!" and she was smiling. My grandma told me she never let one of her 4 babies cry...and that my mom never let me cry either. She said my grandpa didn't think it was right to let a baby cry.
Just wanted to add that there are a few older AP parents out there! Imagine being AP in the 1950's????
This thread is great! Why do people feel free to say stupid things to mothers and pregnant women?
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#15 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 12:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Amanda
...Why do people feel free to say stupid things to mothers and pregnant women?
Nice granny

I saw a quote once, I'm paraphrasing - when you're pregnant, everyone thinks they're an obstetrician.

Prly goes the same for "pediatrician"

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#16 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 12:41 AM
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"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!

ok, I think i almost gave this elderly lady a heart attack, but hey, I was sick of it that day.
Also..."If your baby was white she'd look like a snowman."
WTF?!?:
I am totally dumbfounded by that one. uh, jeez, thanx?: Or how about, "You really think so? Wow!" (last part said with complete awe).:

Bf'ing: after dd #2 was born, I went to nurse her and the Dr. had a sh*t fit. he yelled that I was going to give her an infection! And here i was at a 'Birthing Center' that specialized in water births. Hellllloooooo?!?!: :
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#17 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 12:56 AM
 
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thanks ladies, SO funny!

when i was pregnant and at my baby shower, my best friend's mom was talking to my hubby (it was a co-ed shower). she was telling dh that even though the u/s said we were having a boy, the penis might go inside, and we could have a girl!! my hubby being polite, was like, "oh really, very interesting"

also, on the "is he sleeping through the night" question, this is what i always say:

first i kind of scoff and shake my head, then i say, "of course not, i know very few adults who sleep through the night, how could i expect that of a tiny baby!?!"

works EVERY time.

"you know you're right, my dh doesn't sleep through the night, and i'm up once to pee, hmmm, what a silly question"

hth
amy
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#18 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 12:57 AM
 
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i'm vegetarian & we're raising both kids vegetarian. here's my winner for dumbest comment, made while i was pregnant with ny second. she was very small, due to my chronic ridiculously high blood pressure, but extremely healthy and very active. hearing me complain about her constant movement (she'd get her little feet into the oddest places and then S-T-R-E-T-C-H.) one of my husband's friends told me that there was probably something wrong with her & that the reason why she wiggled so much was because she had indigestion because "she wasn't used to a vegetarian diet". : wha?

as for all the people who wouldn't breastfeed because they didn't have any milk, well i REALLY didn't have enough milk. my daughter was a preemie, small even for a preemie (3lbs 6 oz), gaining weight so slowly she was off the curve, & in the special care nursury for 3 weeks. i was having the hardest time letting down to my crappy little manual pump, and the hospital refused to rent us a pump because we choose not to have a credit card. when i finally got her home my milk came in but i started having problems with extreme pain while nursing, due to the fact that her mouth was too small to latch properly, she wanted to nurse every hour or more, & my nipples were traumatized. i am still having trouble with pain & cracks that even lansinoh won't heal (posted "help!" in bfing "overcoming difficulties" board.) even one of the hospital lactation consultants was suggesting i give it up.

my daughter is 6 months old on the 30th. if i can breastfeed for SIX MONTHS through all that & still keep going then these twits can stick it out till their milk comes in. no, of course its not "easy". "easy" is for wussies, not parents.

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#19 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 01:06 AM
 
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Someone (a babywiser) told me that children my daughter's age (7 1/2 mo) "don't need stimulation". This is the same person who told me that she doesn't play with her 4 yo dd b/c she "doesn't want her to expect that." I feel very sorry for that little girl. The mom would probably freak out if she saw me crawling around on the floor with dd giggling and playing!

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#20 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 01:50 AM
 
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While I was pregnant and arranging for my mother to come visit us after the baby was born...

Me: "Okay, Mum, so the c-section is scheduled for July 16, but if I go into labour before then they'll just do it at that time."

Mum: "What do you mean 'if you go into labour before then'? I thought your due date was July 24?"

Me: "Uh...the 40 week gestation period is just a rough guess, Mum. Babies can be born any time around the 40th week."

Mum: "Really? That's so inconvenient! How does anybody plan these things?"

(keep in mind my mother adopted us and has never been pregnant. still...pretty naive, don't you think? lol)

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#21 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 02:15 AM
 
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at my son's 2 month appt (which i regret going to), the nurse asked how long and often noah nurses, i said " i don't know...when he wants to." she gave me this look like "but i have to write something down or i'll cry!." so i said, "every 2-3 hrs, anything from 2-40 minutes."

then hse said, "so i see he'll be getting shots today"(i told them twice that he wasn't) i said no and she looked dumbfounded. then she said, "but you have medicaid" then it was my turn to give the "and?" look. she said "the dr won't be happy about this!" (oh no, i don't want to upset the dr!!!!!! lol) she said (w an attitude) "i'll have to have you sign a paper" and then right as she was leaving she spun around and said "you know medicaid can hold your coverage from you if refuse vaccines...and they WILL!" I told her it didn't matter cause he'd be on different insurance soon.

the doc came in, opened the file and said, "so i see you're refusing shots. i said yes and he asked why.i told him that i needed to educate myself more about them and that if i did choose to vaccinate, it would be on a schedule i choose and noah would be older so if he did have a reaction, his immune system would be stronger. he just gave me a blank stare.

then he saw about b.feeding and said nursing him past 15 minutes was bad cause he was just using me for confort. i said, "so??" he didn't have much to say after that, except when he saw noah standing and snapped at me sayong that he was too young to be doing that (so what am i supposed to do? put him in a cast that prevents it?)

SHEESH!!! i know i have more, but this day stuck out in my head
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#22 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 02:40 AM
 
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i just had to add to the good baby thing.

this is the most common and stupidest thing ppl ask me!

"is he a good baby?" I just smile, nod, and say"yeah, he's great"

what do they thinkim gonna say?????

also, everyone always asks, "so does he cry alot?" and "does he wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying?"

I always say "no, y should he?"
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#23 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 03:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by MamaInTheBoonies
"Is she a good baby?"
Uhmmm...No, she's downright evil! She's horrendus! She even says the F-word!!! can you believe it?!?! And twice I have caught men in her bed!!!!!!! My baby is so naughty!!

ok, I think i almost gave this elderly lady a heart attack, but hey, I was sick of it that day.
ROTFLMAO I was laughing so hard I woke up dd! How's a Mama suppossed to nurse a baby to sleep with such funny posts??
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#24 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 03:30 AM
 
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Yesterday I went to my aunts yearly xmas party and was talking to one of her friends. She asked me where the baby was that I was pg with last year. I told her I miscarried that baby. She said, "Oh you weren't that far along anyway. And besides, that baby was most likely deformed, so its actually a good thing it died."






Nice. I wanted to slap her, instead I said, "That very well may be true, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier."

Jesse
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#25 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 04:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by indiegirl
...She said, "Oh you weren't that far along anyway. And besides, that baby was most likely deformed, so its actually a good thing it died."


OMG...I cannot believe anyone would be so calous as to say that to another human being! What was she thinking???

I am sooo sorry for your loss and that you didn't kick that lady's A$$ for being such a biotch!
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#26 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 01:00 PM
 
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I also heard a similar comment after my miscarraige.
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#27 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 01:18 PM
 
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From my MIL:

"You know, most women aren't actually able to breastfeed."
"If there's a problem this time, are you going to go to the hospital or are you going to just wait around for (dh) to get home like you did last time?" (this was said regarding our plans for a homebirth after my first baby was stillborn - like she died because I just dicked around)
"If you never let her cry, her lungs won't grow."

From my mom:

"You should probably start giving her formula just so she'll be used to it if you ever need to give it to her." Eeeewww! No!

From my grandmother:

"She needs to cry at least 2 hours a day so her lungs can develop."
"That baby is tired/cold/hungry/uncomfortable." Uh, if she is she'll let me know.

From my sister:

"Let her cry! I want to hear her cry!"
"You're probably one of those people who would die of cancer because you would try to cure it naturally." (said in regards to our rejection of modern medical involvement in childbirth.) Yeah? Tell that to D____ who is actually dying of cancer right now. I'm sure he'd appreciate your analogy. Childbirth=cancer? I think not.
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#28 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 04:19 PM
 
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I guess the biggest comments I get is about bfing. First, everyone who has formula fed feels like they need to explain in horrid details why they couldn't bf. Then when they find out that my ds didn't latch for 2 weeks and that he didn't even nurse well until 3 months and that he had about 2 ounces of formula his whole life because I started pumping right away they don't know what to say. I feel the same as another poster said, "hey if O can endure the hell that it was for the sake of my baby getting the BEST, more people can too" Yah its hard but isn't yourchild's well being worth it.
Also, now that my ds is almost 10 months everyone has it in their minds that I will wean at 1 year. Hello...the AAP says at LEAST one year. Why would I give my baby the LEAST? I plan to give him the MOST!!

Here are some of my comebacks to extended breastfeeding"

IDIOTS:How long are you going to bf?

ME: At least till college, so he'll do well on his exams.
or
When he grows a mustache, I think it will itch.
or
Never...I want to get the World Record.


hee hee I love it ! My most hated comments are:

he'll bite you
when they can ask for it, its too long
the mothers are doing it for them not the baby


When will the world wake up???

Heather and Parker 2-28-02

Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10

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#29 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 04:29 PM
 
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indiegirl & HotMama, I've had the same comments, too

... another silly one just came to me ... once during the stage of tandem nursing DD & DS#1, when DS#1 had a cold, my mother was in the room while I was nursing DS.

Mom: Will you nurse DD, too?
Me: Ma, she's a baby. Of course. What else is she gonna eat?
Mom: But he's sick.
Me: So?
Mom: Well, what will you do if his mucous gets on you?
Me:
Mom: Well?
Me: Ma, what would you do if mucous got on your body?
Mom:

My mom is at this point really supportive and cute, but sometimes is stuck in that ... rut ...



- Amy
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#30 of 5048 Old 12-23-2002, 04:34 PM
 
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Originally posted by Parker'smommy
Also, now that my ds is almost 10 months everyone has it in their minds that I will wean at 1 year. Hello...the AAP says at LEAST one year. Why would I give my baby the LEAST? I plan to give him the MOST!!
yeah!

Amy, good use of the eyes, I liked the blinking part - he he he
MysticHealerMom is offline  
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