For moms with baby daughters - Pierce ears or not? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#21 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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I have to agree with the above posters. My husband and I were just discussing this today, actually. I have no problem with piercings, but I feel its a personal choice, whether its ears or belly button or whatever. When my daughter is old enough to take care of them herself, I have no problem taking her to get them done. I'll pay to get her ears pierced, np. But until then, I don't want to impose my own ideas of beauty onto her. But thats just me. (of course, I can't even put a hat on her head although I think its cute, because I know its not climatically necessary atm and she hates it)
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#22 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 06:49 PM
 
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Liberty has already asked several times but I am still waiting until she has a little bit more life experience behind her...and till she is old enough to take her to a professional piercer.(They said 9 years old)
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#23 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 06:53 PM
 
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Nope. I have stated my opinion on this before and won't go into all the details, but my holes still get infected and this is 20 years later. Not common, but I wish my mom would not have made me get them.
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#24 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 06:53 PM
 
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I just wanted to comment on the "guns" that they use. I don't know about everywhere, but DD just got hers done last year (she's 9). They (one of the jewelry places in the mall) used brand new wrapped in plastic disposable plastic guns and threw them away after they were done. Now from an environmental standpoint...not so good. But definitely sterile.

That being said, I wouldn't do it to a baby anyway. Too much pain for her, too much extra work for me. This way it was something special when she had them done and she was very excited

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#25 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 06:56 PM
 
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DH wanted to have our baby girl's ears pierced shortly after she was born. I am saying NO WAY!!! (She isn't due till Feb.) I had to wait till I was old enough to take care of them and that is what she will have to do too. The youngest I want her to be is 8 years old!! 8 is a relatively important age in our religion so when she is 8 she can in my opinion have them pierced. Unless she doesn't want to at the time! I would never do it on an infant. My DH just wanted to make sure people knew she was a girl and didn't mistake her for a baby boy! Which it really isn't that big a deal!! She can wear girls clothes!! It's gonna happen though!! It does with every baby!!
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#26 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 07:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalizzie
I just wanted to comment on the "guns" that they use. I don't know about everywhere, but DD just got hers done last year (she's 9). They (one of the jewelry places in the mall) used brand new wrapped in plastic disposable plastic guns and threw them away after they were done. Now from an environmental standpoint...not so good. But definitely sterile.

That being said, I wouldn't do it to a baby anyway. Too much pain for her, too much extra work for me. This way it was something special when she had them done and she was very excited
That's good to hear that they finally addressed the sterility issue with those guns. The other problem is the way it punches through the tissue.

Gotta run, but here's some info on that:
http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns.htm
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#27 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 07:13 PM
 
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I also say no. Wait until she's old enough and asks for it. I totally understand the culture thing, but if any one asks just say she's beautiful without jewelry and you're waiting until she decides herself to get holes in her ears. Save the earrings, they will still be special years from now.

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#28 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 07:15 PM
 
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I agree with the pp's about waiting until the child can make a choice about it and care for the piercings themselves. My dd is 9 and horrified by the idea of piercing her ears although I was thrilled when my grandmother took me to get them done when I was 12yrs old. It is a choice they will live with so it is best to wait, IMO.
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#29 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 07:20 PM
 
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I will let my kids get their ears pieced (boys and girls) at a set age. I was allowed to get my ears pierced for my 11th birthday. My parents had decided that 11 was a good age as we were old enough to care for them and it was a time of puberty and changing from a little girl into a young woman. I HATED waiting until then, but it was something special to me and I plan to do the same to my kids (not sure on the age yet, somewhere between 9-11). I will take them to a real piercer to have it done with needles rather than guns as well, I feel that is just safer.

I was tramatized in a mall once seeing a baby get her ears pierced, it broke my heart. This little baby (maybe around 4 months old) was smiling away at the piercer and then she got a look of confusion on her face when the earing went in and then she was crying unconsolably. I couldn't help but break into tears. I decided at that moment that I wouldn't get my kids ears pierced until they were older.

Erika, mama to three beautiful kids (plus one gestating), and wife to one fantastic man.

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#30 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 07:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalizzie
I just wanted to comment on the "guns" that they use. I don't know about everywhere, but DD just got hers done last year (she's 9). They (one of the jewelry places in the mall) used brand new wrapped in plastic disposable plastic guns and threw them away after they were done. Now from an environmental standpoint...not so good. But definitely sterile.

That being said, I wouldn't do it to a baby anyway. Too much pain for her, too much extra work for me. This way it was something special when she had them done and she was very excited
getting pierce with a needle does not carry the same ear trauma that getting them done with a gun. guns, sterile or not, do a trauma punture (piercing a hole and beat the sh#t out of the lobe at the same time), and the placement can suck, not to mention the crappy jewelry they tend to use.

i think it is okay when families want to create there own special rituals with their children/newborns so even if many think it can be special to do it when they can ask, it is also special to adorn the love of your life in jewelry (even if it is not a popular choice amongst natural mamas).

as for the age question, you have a window: under 6 months, babies don't know there ears are there or that the earring isn't a part of them so they won't pull usually, and they will heal very, very quickly. after that they will tug at them so then you need to wait until they are aware and can ask and not touch them, which depends but usually isn't until they are 6 or so. it is better for you to use a bead ring (the bead is attached so no choking hazzard), not pokey backed earrings. there are flat disc backed earrings...in other words the earring that were a gift probably shouln't be worn until dd is way older (and even then a lot of people are sensitive to gold and there composite metals).

obviously there is a right and a wrong way to go about it if you decide to do so, but it's sad that so many people are against it just because it was done the wrong way for them.

to find a reputable studio in your area go to:

www.safepiercing.org/

there are many theads on the topic and it is quite a controversial issue, if you haven't already guessed!
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#31 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 07:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BookGoddess

I thought of asking the pediatrician to do it but I wonder if he'll go for it. He already thinks I'm a bit odd. If you had your dd's ears pierced where was it done?
oh and to answer that OP, pediatritians aren't trained in piercing so yeah, it would be sterile, but the placement and earring size and diameter are important too.

my first girls ears were done at two weeks in our living room while she slept, by my husband, a body piecer of 15 years. she woke up, fussed, went back to sleep, we did the other side, she fussed, nursed and when back to sleep.

then we did her sister at 4 weeks ( big sis was 2yo now) and it was in my nursing rocking chair while baby nursed. dd#1 passed on her gold earrings to baby and got her new bigger, gold rings with ruby-studded beads and it was VERY special for her to pass on her earrings to her new sister and get fancier earrings. it was a bonding experience for her, and important to my husband and me as well.

both of their baby books have pages dediacated to showing the ritual-- pictures, the baggies the earrings came in, even the needles (sealed up tight of course), and their papa holding them afterwards (no they are not crying or in pain at all)
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#32 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 08:21 PM
 
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oops sorry, didn't mean to kill the thread.....
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#33 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 08:55 PM
 
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My DD is 10 months old, and her ears won't get extra holes until she asks for them. Her body is her body, just like my son's is his own and whole.

If she wants earrings later, then fine.
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#34 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 09:42 PM
 
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mama nomad - you didn't kill the thread - I really thought your story was very sweet and you definitely made a big deal and a ritual out of the piercing and I think that was very cool.

If/when my dd gets hers done - I hope to take her and make it an event and and turn it into a special thing for us to share - like you did

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#35 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 09:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ChelseaG
mama nomad - you didn't kill the thread - I really thought your story was very sweet and you definitely made a big deal and a ritual out of the piercing and I think that was very cool.

If/when my dd gets hers done - I hope to take her and make it an event and and turn it into a special thing for us to share - like you did

thank you!
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#36 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 10:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dynamohumm6
Nope, I would never, not until she is old enough to make the choice herself. It's her body, not my place to be poking decorative holes.
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#37 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 10:22 PM
 
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Dd will absolutely not be getting her ears pierced till she's old enough to make that decision for herself and take care of them herself. I don't think I'll make her wait as long as my parents made me wait (17), but probably early teens or tweens. Every child is different though so if she's responsible and really wants them sooner then I'll probably let her as early as 6

Her ears shall remain as intact as a son's penis would! It's not nearly remotely the SAME thing, but it's definitely similar. Parents choosing to hurt their child for cosmetic purposes... religious and cultural reasons (and I loved mama_nomad's story!) are cool, but I have none so... yeah!

love and peace.

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#38 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 10:27 PM
 
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IMO it makes them look like those little pageant girls who are dressed like adults. very creepy. we'll wait til she asks.
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#39 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 10:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mothragirl
IMO it makes them look like those little pageant girls who are dressed like adults. very creepy. we'll wait til she asks.
Yeah... now that I think about it, you're right! I never thought of that before though.... creepy indeed.

love and peace.

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#40 of 130 Old 12-07-2005, 10:50 PM
 
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I wouldn't do it. For me it's all about the pain. Even if it doesn't hurt to actually do it, there is soreness afterward, and if they get infected (which can happen even with the best of care) there is definitely pain then. I have 7 holes in my ears and a pierced naval, so I know.

A baby or toddler can't understand the reason for this pain, and just knows that it HURTS. That feels wrong to me. An older child or adult can understand the cause of the pain and that the pain will end, but a baby cannot. I wouldn't do anything painful to a baby unless it was urgently necessary. I think it's wrong to inflict pain unnecessarily on anyone not capable of understanding and consenting.

I don't know about the cultural issues. That's a tough call. My gut still says it's not right, but then again I'm not part of a culture where such a thing is common and normal. So I'm really in no position to judge.

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