Mama to Noah- 05, Eden - 07, Isabella -09 and Cade -11
At 7 months, dd wasn't ready and whenever we would try to put her down she would immediately start bawling and at that point she was still nursing to sleep anyway, so we just let it go for a while, figuring she'd let us know when she was ready to go to sleep on her own. Around 11 months is when she got to the point she is at today. Follow your baby's cues to see what he is ready for and when. Good Luck.
My daughter, who is almost 7, nursed to sleep every night for 2 years. She would not fall asleep without my nipple in her mouth, and she would wake up if I took it out of her mouth. I was certain that I was setting myself up for the worst sleeping kid on the planet.
We never did any sleep training or CIO with her at all, and she falls asleep perfectly fine, and sleeps with no problems whatsoever. Babies like to nurse to sleep, there's nothing wrong with that
My dd is 12 months and I still nurse her to sleep for naps/bedtime. I expect to continue to parent her to sleep in some form or another until she is ready to do it on her own. And like pp, I wouldn't let anyone watch her who thinks it's okay to leave a babe to cry. For what it's worth, my dd has gone through many changes in sleep...she used to need to be completely asleep before I laid her down. Now she can be laid down before she's in that limp sleep state. She used to sleep only while nursing or being held. Now she is able to sleep for 2-3 hours on her own.
I think you'll know when your babe is ready to be more independant in sleep if you follow her cues. Good luck!
Originally Posted by turtlemama77
is there an age when YOU would like to be left alone to cry from being scared or lonely with no one to help you or comfort you?
You are TOTALLY doing the right thing! My 3 1/2 year old nursed to sleep EVERY NIGHT and EVERY NAP until he weaned shortly after he turned 3. Same with my 18 month old who just weaned himself this last month. I'd make it VERY clear to whoever is watching them that you do NOT CIO and if they can't respect that, then they don't get the priviledge of watching your ds.
I've never CIO and never will. Sleep time is a peaceful time for us. I'm not in a hurry and they look forward to bedtime. Sometimes my 18 month old doesn't want to settle down, but it's my job to help teach him how to settle and relax and crying isn't relaxing at all. My 3 1/2 year old looks forward to bedtime and went from a crazy night owl who would never sleep, to asking to go to bed at 8pm every night.
Developing healthy sleep habits takes time, patience and understanding. It doesn't happen overnight and there are nights when it can be frustrating, but it helped me to ask myself WHY am I frustrated? Most of the time I was frustrated because of my own selfish needs. Instead of trying to fulfill them after the kids went to bed, I changed my 'me' time to other times of the day. This reduced our stress at night and allowed me to enjoy this time when my kids actually WANT me with them....they grow so fast and someday they won't need me to snuggle, rock or sing them to sleep. I'll miss that when they are older. I try to keep my eye on the big picture.
I used to get comments like "He'll never fall asleep on his own" and "He'll never wean" and "He'll be in your bed forever!" I got a visual of my 30 year old son buying the house next door so I could go over and nurse him down, coming home for 'lunch' and a nap. It always made me giggle.
Originally Posted by la mamita
I think it is possible for someone with a different parenting philosophy to watch your kid and agree to follow your rules, even if they think you are a little kooky for not doing it their way.
I mean...they might agree to follow my rules, but whether they actually will or not is another story.
I'd definitely make sure the sitter had a clear understanding of what you wanted and make sure you trust that they're going to follow through.
Originally Posted by turtlemama77
I don't want to be mean, but is there an age when YOU would like to be left alone to cry from being scared or lonely with no one to help you or comfort you?
I don't let my babies CIO. Sometimes they just cry nomatter what I do, but I will hold them and let them cry in my arms. Or let them know I am nearby and there for them if it seems like when I hold him I'm making things worse.
I wouldn't let someone babysit my infant who believed in CIO. Unless I guess I trusted them ALOT and believed they would follow my wishes about not CIO and how to treat my baby. Luckily htis has never happenned. We don't live near family and I have never left my younger two with anyone as babies or even young toddlers. They are always with me or DH. But if I had a babysitter I would be really worried and strict about it.
I would let someone babysit who didn't agree with my methods if I trusted that they would follow my instructions. My parents agree with CIO but they would never do that to my ds. I would freak!
Originally Posted by vanessagreene
Well what I do is I nurse ds in the living room before a nap and put him down awake. If he starts to cry I go into the bedroom and nurse him to sleep. He needs to be nursed to sleep about 85% of the time. I do it this way because sometimes he does go to sleep on his own and I want to encourage that. I don't let him CIO ever.
Great point here. I also for the first 6 months of DS's life assumed that he couldn't possibly put himself to sleep and that he needed to nurse to sleep every time. Over the last month I have given him the opportunity to fall asleep on his own by laying him down while he is sleepy. To my suprise he does just fine about 50% of the time (with no CIO whatsoever) and is improving each week. I don't think there is anything wrong with a little experimentation (not with CIO I mean but just different ways of falling asleep) as long as it is within your comfort level.
I think that many of the parents who extoll the benefits of CIO don't realize the problems that they are creating for themselves in the long run. My parents used CIO on all of us, and I remembered the middle of the night/bedtime dramas all too well...not to mention, CIO doesn't work so well on a child who can get out of their bed/crib, which happens around 1 year at the earliest.
You either end up in bed with them early or late - meet the needs either earlier or later, but they will need to be met at some point. It's way easier to do it earlier than later...
Before dd was born, I read everything from AP to Babywise (and lots in between).
This is what works for us:
We try to follow a "nurse, wake time, sleep" pattern (Babywise), but I also nurse anytime dd wants to (In the evening, she likes to nurse often).
I put dd down for nap/bed at the 1st signs of being sleepy, usually by holding/rocking for a few min, then laying her down awake.
Often, she'll drift off without a complaint or maybe a slight whimper (if so, I don't leave her).
If she starts to cry, I hold/rock her to settle her down, then try again.
We do not CIO, but I almost never nurse to sleep.
I also read The No-Cry Sleep Solution (endorsed by Sears).
Lots of ideas for helping children fall asleep without nursing or crying!
(I understand many people want to nurse to sleep, but there are alternatives)
My 2 year old and my newborn both nurse to sleep (at the same time, and it's a sweet moment, one that I look forward to twice a day). I don't really see what the issue is... Babies like to nurse to sleep. It's a sure bet with my kids, it always was, and I really don't understand the need to make babies independent right from the start. They are supposed to be dependent on us. It's okay!
My kids have all slowly transitioned from a baby who nursed to sleep, to a toddler who occasionally fell asleep in my husband's arms, to a kid who happily goes to sleep on his own. Two out of four so far, and one day, all of them will be sleeping on their own.
Nurse your baby to sleep if you want to. It's not an issue!
Now, with DD (9 months) I nurse her until she's drowsy and then put her down. When she was younger, she'd start crying unless she was "out" and I'd immediately pick her back up and nurse again. Now that she's a bit older, she goes down pretty well when she's tired enough, warm, and has a belly full of mama milk.
Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.
Mama to Noah- 05, Eden - 07, Isabella -09 and Cade -11
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