Seperation anxiety - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-25-2006, 01:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My ds is one year and boy, this seperation anxiety thing is making me crazy! I know, I know..I probably sound like such a terrible mom (at least that's how I feel right now) but I can't even go to the bathroom without him screaming...and he's with his daddy while I'm gone. He won't settle for daddy at night when he wakes so I do all the feedings. When daddy's home for the day he will play with him but wants up with me constantly. When I offer him to daddy he turns away. My dh is a wonderful caring husband who loves his son deeply I don't understand why ds acts this way? I'm home all day with him and we get lots of quality time in but, especially at supper time when I'm trying to fix dinner, he just wants up all the time. How do I cope with this? I'm emotionally exhausted and feeling like I'm doing this alone because ds won't let dh do anything for him...Help!
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Old 01-25-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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I was just signing on to post the exact same thing. Lachlann has been a total mama's boy from day one. He's gradually getting better (he'll very occasionally let my husband feed him, but only at night and only some of the time). I think my husband has handled 5 of the night feedings since he was born.

My husband can entertain him, but only if he's high-energy.. he has to be up and moving and constantly entertaining, whereas I can sit and hang out on the couch with the baby. On the weekends, we take turns letting each other sleep in.. something we've been doing since Colwyn was a baby. I normally let my husband sleep in until 10:00am (when he wakes up on his own), but Lachlann will only stay happy with my husband until about 7:30-8:00am, when I have to get up and feed him.

I'm sure it's not something my husband's doing.. Colwyn never had any of these problems--he went through seperation anxiety, but was equally fine with either of us and my parents. I'm so frustrated that I never get a break. I tried for 2 months to get my milk to come in (I had true insufficient supply), and the one consolation about bottle feeding is that I should be able to get a break. But I can't!

So, I don't have any advice.. I'm just assuming that it will gradually ease up as he gets older. But he's almost 6 months now with no real sign of getting used to Daddy..

-Rachel
Mommy to Colwyn, 10/03 ~ Lachlann, 8/05 ~ Fiona, 6/08 ~ Niall, 5/10
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Old 01-25-2006, 02:31 AM
 
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I am having similar issues w/ my 9 month old ds. He is fine w/ my mom during the day and he even stayed w/ a friend of mine ( a very good friend) whom he's never been around w/out me for a couple of hours one day w/ no problems (and even seemed to have a great time with her). However, he does not do well w/ dh especially at night. I have a 3 hr class on monday and tuesday nights and he literally screams the whole time I am gone It is very difficult for me to be in class knowing ds and dh are miserable til I come home. I don't know what to do. I have to take these classes. I know it is hard for dh. I am sure it makes him feel bad that his ds is not happy with him.
I am lurking this thread for any advice coming your way.
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Old 01-25-2006, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hooray! I'm so happy to hear that I'm not a terrible, selfish mother for feeling the way I feel. I love my son but I so miss the days when I could come and go as I please - seperation anxiety doesn't help these feelings one bit. Will there ever be a time when I can even so much as pee in peace again??
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Old 01-26-2006, 08:20 PM
 
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I was told by dh that ds is spoiled by spending too much time with me : This was a comment he made after he and ds went to mil's house. I'm sure she's the one who said it because dh has never said anything like that before - not to mention dh has (thus far) been happy that I have been so adament about being with ds as much as possible. Apparently thst is a bad thing now because he gets seperation anxiety. I am not sure what to do about it. It seems like ds is not getting any better either. I so wish I could just be a SAHM. Good luck to you with your dc. I hope it gets better soon. If it helps any, I haven't been to a movie since before ds was born and it doesn't look like I am going to one anytime soon. I just know that right now his needs are more important than mine (not that I NEED to go to a movie ) and eventually I will get to go back to enjoying some of the things I used too (although it will never be the same because he is a huge enjoyment for me )
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