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Old 03-01-2006, 03:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so I think I know about babies. I have sat for people since I was 10, I cna change an over flowen diaper without gagging, I am not scaird of boogers or poop, I can deal with temper tantrums, I even apprenticed with midwives for several months (figured out that I am more keen on being a Doula). I feel that I could take care of a baby, good thing since I am due with my first in June. I felt this way until one day a week or so ago I broke down in a panic wondering...
"What on earth do I do with the infant while I am eating? What do I do with baby when I need to go to the bathroom or take a shower? Ooh my gawd my Dh and I are bed hogs in a queen size bed, baby will never survive? I dont know if I am ready for all this yet? Dh and I cannot agree on anything like CD, and no circ if baby is a boy? OMG WHAT WERE WE THINKING?????!!!!"
Is this panic normal, will everything work out, how do I get Dh to be receptive to CD and no circ? I need help, I need chocolate, coffee would be nice, a bigger bed too. Am I alone in this?


newbe mom due in june
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:07 AM
 
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It really will be okay. I think most people panic as the due date gets closer. You'll figure out all those little questions as you go along. When dd was fussy sometimes I held her while I went to the bathroom. I had a bouncy chair that I used to put dd in while I showered...that way I could keep the shower curtain open halfway and we could still see each other. With the sleep question....I ended up sleeping with dd and dh slept in our extra twin bed....that's just what we did, lots of others have made it work with everyone in one bed. There really are so many ways to make things work and you will find what works for you when your little one arrives. Your baby's personality and temperament will help you make those decisions too.

And personally, I would push for no circ first and I'd be willing to skip cd if I had to to get an agreement on no circ. (I am in favor of cd-ing and used them for dd.)

I hope you get to feeling more relaxed. You are going to be a great mom...I can tell just by reading how much care you are putting into all your decisions and planning already!
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:16 AM
 
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"What on earth do I do with the infant while I am eating?
Hold or have someone hold, nap time is good for eating and dp and you can take turns eating/holding.

What do I do with baby when I need to go to the bathroom or take a shower? Put them somewhere safe you can see em and get er done.
Ooh my gawd my Dh and I are bed hogs in a queen size bed, baby will never survive?
Yes, nothing is better then cozing up to your perfect beautiful baby. If possible get a king size IMO its best for 3+ bodies.

I dont know if I am ready for all this yet? Most of us are never really ready...

Dh and I cannot agree on anything like CD, and no circ if baby is a boy?
Bring him to MCD this place is the best for no- circ info and CD. Turned me around for sure.

OMG WHAT WERE WE THINKING?????!!!!"
Can't help you there

Is this panic normal, will everything work out, how do I get Dh to be receptive to CD and no circ?
If you are panicing you may want to do your research so you feel 100% you are making informed choices-not fear!

I need help, I need chocolate, coffee would be nice, a bigger bed too. Am I alone in this?
We all need help with parenthood! A little chocolate, coffee, MDC a big ol king size bed and your good to go


newbe mom due in june[/QUOTE]
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:24 AM
 
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The panic is definitely normal - I know it set in for me as I got closer to due date.

Eating/Hygiene - If you don't already have one, make sure you have a sling. Good for holding babe while eating, going to the bathroom, etc. Also good for calming down a fussy/colicky babe. I have held DS while going to the bathroom more times than I could count. Now that he sits up he often either sits on my knee while I pee or sometimes I'll set him down on the floor. I kept a swing in our bathroom for most of the first couple of months so I could shower, but if you don't have room a bouncy seat would work well. I also took advantage of DS's sleepy time in the evening when DH got home from work and let DH hold him while I showered.

Sleeping - DH and I are both huge bed hogs and fought over the covers constantly because we both had to be "cocooned" in our covers. Honestly for the first few weeks DS slept mainly on my chest at night. I was up feeding him every 2 hours anyway so it worked well for us. We had a cosleeper next to the bed so I wasn't worried about him falling off of me and out of the bed, but the cosleeper quickly became a clean-laundry hamper and DS never once slept in it LOL. We're about to add a twin bed next to our queen now that DS is 7mo and becoming his own little bed hog.

As for things like CD and circ, I had to do some work to convice DH. With CD, the cost of sposies helped a bit. With circ, it was more difficult, since he had a (supposedly) medically-necessary circ as an older baby and remembers it well, and didn't want DS to go through that. But our MW gave us a couple of books to read, and after reading about the procedure and the after-effects, DH was pretty much convinced, though we both are now hyper-vigilant about preventing any problems. Visit the circ forum here at MDC for some really good resources.

Finally, just take a deep breath and tell yourself it will all work out. And it will, I promise!

Mama to two crazy boys (8/05 & 9/07) and happy wife to one wonderful hubby.
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:33 AM
 
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I remember that panic all too well. I kept asking dh what I had gotten myself into--I wasn't fit to be anyone's mama. Well, by the time dh arrived, everything had fallen into place even better than I could have ever planned. I figured out that if I wanted to eat or use the bathroom, ds had to be asleep (which rarely happened) or I had to be holding him. I couldn't possibly hold him and eat/use the bathroom so I fell into the whole sling/wrap thing. So I became a sling/wrap connoisseur (sp?). I realized I wasn't going to get any rest with dh in his crib (which I spent forever picking out) so I fell into the whole co-sleeping thing. Although I was all set on cloth diapering, I was so overwhelmed that I used disposables until one day I just whipped out the cloth diapers and started using them . . . I fell right into cloth diapering. What I am saying is that it all falls into place/will make sense. You'll figure out what you need and what you don't need. What's most important is taking care of yourself and your baby . . .everything falls into place.

P.S. in terms of taking care of baby, I would urge you not to circumcise. If you just take a look at all the info, at least that much will be crystal clear to you. Many blessings with the new baby on his/her way!

Stay-at-home mom to 2 beautiful.busy.boisterous boys b. 08.17.05 & 12.29.08
Nirvana is . . . the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. --Gandhi
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Old 03-01-2006, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so glad I was turned onto this forum I learn so much. I told Dh once that I would run away with baby if he tried to circ him, he laughed because we live in Fairbanks Ak and there is only one road out and one airport which Dh works at as TSA security. I though he would see that I was serious, we don't really talk about it anymore, that comment kinda made him mad. On the CD I figure that since I am the one who does the laundry and I am the one who takes out the trash then whats the inconvience to him, so what if he dosent want to carry around wet diapers, he'll get use to it. I told him that I use cloth pads, he was suprised said he never even noticed after a year of living together and I am a very regular person when it comes to my period. Ugh techno people, sometimes I questions my weakness for the nerdy computer geek who loves his technology advanced world when I just want to get back to the basics. We are an odd pair, but I love him and he is going to be a great daddy, i just got to work on these two things, I have him looking forward to the family bed and he is excited about carring baby in a sling. Thank you Mommies, for your replies, you all are a great community to be apart of.

--Riki, mommy to be to a CD no Circ weather anyone likes it or not so there!
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Old 03-01-2006, 07:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rikiamber
--Riki, mommy to be to a CD no Circ weather anyone likes it or not so there!
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Old 03-01-2006, 08:33 PM
 
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In case you haven't seen it, here's a link to the circumcision forum on MDC:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=44

I think there was a recent Mothering article that said something like less than 50% of American boys are now being circumcised! I was shocked. You may be able to find it if you search the magazine's site.

DH's parents are European, so he's not circ'd. If your dh has specific concerns (e.g., son will be made fun of, etc.), feel free to PM me and I will discuss with dh and get back to you with his experiences. Maybe that will help reassure dh.

I personally feel that any parent who decides to circumcise their son should have to be present for the procedure and hold and comfort their baby. When you mention this to someone (especially a male), they blanche and say no way would they be there. Well, if it's so awful that you can't even stand to be present, how can you justify doing it to your child??? Maybe try running that by dh and see what he thinks, lol.

I think you're doing great, and you got good feedback from pps. You'll figure everything out, don't worry. I remember when I was pregnant, and I couldn't figure out what you used a onesie for, lol!

Mama to M (7/05) and S (5/08) my surprise !!!
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Old 03-01-2006, 11:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Shanana
I personally feel that any parent who decides to circumcise their son should have to be present for the procedure and hold and comfort their baby. When you mention this to someone (especially a male), they blanche and say no way would they be there. Well, if it's so awful that you can't even stand to be present, how can you justify doing it to your child??? Maybe try running that by dh and see what he thinks, lol.
Amen!! That's how I got my dh in the beginning...I told him if he wanted to circ he had to watch the circ video. He said, "No, way!" and that was that. Now he's just as anti-circ as me, and I'm r-e-a-l-l-y anti-circ.

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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