August '05 Mamas...March Thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow! March already! Mtsunshinemama and my little guy will be 6 months in a few short days, then we'll all be Mamas of 6 month-olds! Where did all the time go? Oh that's right, feedings, diapering, feeding, sleeping, teething, feeding, staring into their gorgeous faces, feeding, diapering, not sleeping, pacing the house - trying to comfort, feeding, diapering...ahhhh, it's good to be the mama!
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#2 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 02:03 PM
 
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still here
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#3 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Re High chair usage - ds2 wants nothing to do with the high chair, but suddenly ds1 wants to sit in it instead of on the regulr chair. Oh well. Ds2 sits on our laps, but will occasionally lay on the floor next to me if we're "picnicing in the family room" or play in his exersaucer so I can eat w/two hands. He loves to sit on my leg & bang a spoon on the table while telling us all about his day. Between his chattering & ds1's "tories" (stories) dh & I get small pieces of conversation here and there - as long as we don't try to solve world hunger we do ok.

Both boys have been going to sleep around 8, so dh and I do get to hold adult conversations then. Hmmm, adult conversations sounds kind of naughty...mostly we talk about bills or dh's work, or projects to do, family issues...nothing so fun as traditional adult conversation.

Noddy: I wanted to mention on the February thread and didn't get a chance to post, as an fyi, ds1 didn't eat solids w/any regularity until around 15 months (and was 20 pounds from 6 months until 18 months when he went down to 19 pounds - then was 22 pounds by 20 months) so yes, your mama's milk can definetly sustain your child for longer than 6 months, but you wouldn't believe it in today's formula fed culture, would you? And when you throw in well-intentioned moms of our own/mils who never breastfed, or who "lost" their milk at the same time as a growth spurt - well, it's hard to go against the grain on so many subjects so much of the time. And the well intentioned questioning causes you to question yourself...I too thank MDC for being here to aid me in my research.

www.kellymom.com is another great resource to look to in regards to feeding your child (whether it's solids or breastmilk)
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#4 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 02:27 PM
 
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I don't know if the February discussion bleeds over to this thread, or if it starts new, but I just wanted to share what's been going on the last few days. I'm sure you'll agree that are babies are doing wonderful things. Just yesterday morning my dd woke up at 5:30. I could hear her kicking and I just didn't want to get up. I've been exhausted lately. Then, I heard her start going through a repertoire of sounds that I had never heard her make before. It sounded like talking -- though gibberish -- but sounds that go together in real language. I was amazed that she knew that much. She has never done it during the day. It was like she was practicing in private. I relished that moment, listening to her learning in progress without interrupting. I was glad to be awake to hear it.

DD must be going through a growth spurt. She's been eating like mad, and sleeping more too! She fell asleep at 6:30 yesterday and didn't get up until 6:30 this morning! Wow! That's not usual. When does their growth taper off? I know they slow down at some point.

Anyway I just wanted to share. I posted a new thread about getting exercise with baby. I've been trying to exercise for 30 minutes 4 days a week. We take mommy and baby fitness at Gymboree and that helps. I feel a little less exhausted for a while after I exercise.

riverrundine - I don't have a pic of my tattoo, but when I get one I'll try to figure out how to show it. I don't really show that one too much. I want to get some more work done on it too.

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#5 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 02:33 PM
 
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Thanks for the advice on being a parent of two small children. I'll see if I'm up to the challenge come January 2007. I'd like to be a mommy again around October 2007. I so want my dd not to be overindulged. I also would like her to have someone to share life experiences with. I also love being a momma. Thanks again.

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#6 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 02:35 PM
 
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Hi Mamas! Subscribing.....

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#7 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Hi Mamas,
It makes me so happy to see our thread still going strong. Maybe we will still be around , swapping storied on MDC next year. I hope so.
Emmett is a wonderful joy and I am loving being the parent of two little boys.
I am really unsure about having more or not. I like life to have surprises, so we will see. I am in no rush to add to the family now, but I can imagine a big family sometimes. - Kerri
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#8 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 03:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mama C: I love how our little group has grown and how we're all still here offering support and commiseration...it's made a big difference these past 6 months! (And the 40-odd weeks prior as well)

We want 4-6 kids total (whether through adoption or biologically) it's just a matter of timing. 27 months worked pretty well for us this time in terms of ds1 accepting ds2 as part of the family (although I think that had a lot to do w/the homebirth/family bed) and less to do w/his age. So as ds2 gets older dh and I are wondering how his personality will morph/change. So far he's pretty laid back, but that can totally change when he gets mobile (ds's did) - we'll see.

The house we're in now, while not small, if we have another we'll have to redo our bedroom again (add a twin bed next to the king) for ds1 or if he wants his own room then we'll have to move/figure out what to do w/the guest room/my sewing room. Or move to the country and get our farm! That's what I'd REALLY like, although the prospect of moving w/little ones almost makes my blood run cold!
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#9 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 03:41 PM
 
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Happy March, everyone!

I know Kate and I have different experiences, with our "babies" being eight years apart, so I just thought I would share a couple of comments about that. In our case, it just kind of worked that way. Griffin (born Nov. 97) was an incredibly spirited baby and I have to admit I was a basketcase for his first two years. I went back to work when he was six months old, so that added to the chaos. Well, by the time he was about four, I got thinking I would like to have another baby. It took me a full year to convince DH. LOL. And then, probably due to my advanced age (I'm almost 38), it took us two years to conceive. There was nothing medically wrong, it just wasn't happening.

But darling Tova was worth the wait. She is such a doll. And Griffin has been a wonderful big brother in every way -- even better than I could have hoped. I don't think he was overindulged, at least not in a negative way, and now he is a very spirited but kind, patient and fun little guy. He is self-sufficient in a lot of ways, and with DH working nights, it's good to know I can dedicate a lot of my energy to the baby without him getting upset. We will play board games while I'm nursing her, and he does all the work (rolls dice, moves figures, etc.) and never complains. It seems I will be able to overindulge Tova, too!

There are pros and cons to all age gaps, I'd say, but we all make our unique situations work for us. Tova and Griff may never be close playmates, but as adults they may find they have much in common (who knows?). My own sister is 15 years older than me (I was a bit of an accident, but it all worked out) and we're close as adults, although she was more like another parent to me as a child. Can you say built-in babysitter? DH jokes that we won't be able to afford Griffin's services, since he's a stickler for his allowance. Then again, as a dear friend at G's school pointed out, but the time Tova gets to junior high, I'll have attended 14 pumpkin socials. Egad!

Anyhow, that's a little about our experience. Maybe Kate has something to add ...

Cheers for now.
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#10 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 03:42 PM
 
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Griffin's patience may run thin when Tova gets mobile and starts to explore his precious Lego. HaHa.
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#11 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 06:52 PM
 
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March already? I'm ready, bring on the Spring!!!

I want to chime in with saying how much I love these threads, and second the hope that we'll keep going well into next year (and beyond!).

Subbing, will add more later.
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#12 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 09:52 PM
 
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Wow, it was 75 degrees here today. Gonna shave my legs and wear some shorts tomorrow!
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#13 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 10:10 PM
 
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i missed februarys thread, but wanted 2 ask if anyones lil darlings have gotten teeth yet. my dd is drooling like crazy, and it seems like shes been teething for months now - but still no sign of teeth????/
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#14 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 10:13 PM
 
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We had a challenging and sad morning today. I came downstairs at 6:40 and found my cat -- dead on the kitchen floor. I screamed and screamed. DH fled downstairs so fast that he forgot his glasses. I called an animal ER and head DH say from the other room, "she's cold, she's dead."

At 7:30 I took baby to the sitter so she would not have to be around our sad moods. DH and I cried and cried. I am so lucky to have him. I am so lucky to have this beautiful babe.

The baby loved watching the cat. I'd always point to the cat and say the word and do the sign for it and thought that would be her first word.

We bought lime at the hardware store, dug a grave and placed her and some of her favorite items into it. Then we went on to work.

I am so sad, yet I'm feeling grateful. Grateful to have a beautiful babe and supportive DH. Grateful to have a fabulous work place that understands my need to come in late today.

The death made me very reflective. Every day, O wakes up happy to be alive. She appreciates every day. What do we think when we wake up? Do we appreciate the morning as much as our babies? Or do we think we don't want to go to work or etc etc?

After work, I visited with some mom friends. I didn't tell them what happened. I wanted to stop thinking about it. Then I went home and DH, babe and I went for a walk around the lake. The sunset looked like it was burning the water. I thought of how we buried the cat at the edge of the yard and how the sun disappears beyond that spot. I often look out the window to the back yard and watch the sunset and now I'll see grave, too. The light at the lake started to fade and we headed back -- just the three of us now.

Lots of love to you all,
hh
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#15 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 10:22 PM
 
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wsgrl--

My motto is "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy."

That means I need to eat when I'm hungry. brush my teeth and take regular showers, and drink lots of water.

I kept putting DD first and it contributed to my low supply and the FIVE cavities I've had since getting preg. Before that I had NO cavities.

So learn from my mistakes, my friend. =)




**************

I just can't see having 2 children. At the same time, I know time is running out and I feel a bit of pressure about it. Oi, vay.

A friend dropped by -- she's 39 -- and she said she couldn't see doing it again either. Both of us didn't want to go through the labor recovery again. Labor was easy but the recovery! My gosh!!

I think some people are suited for mamahood and some aren't. I LOVE my daughter. However, I don't think I'm a "natural" mother. Does that make sense? I'm at peace with how I am. I'm going to do the best I can. However, I don't handle exhaustion and the FT work-mama stress as well as I'd like. So I'm just "getting through" the next year or two and being the best mama I can be to my little cutie pie and enjoying every day I'm blessed with her presence.
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#16 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 10:42 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you lost your cat.
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#17 of 389 Old 03-01-2006, 11:19 PM
 
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Oh Deb...so sorry about your cat!!!! It's awful to lose a pet member of the family!!! Especially to have a shock to find her like that.
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#18 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 12:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Deb, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. My Lee is 11 years old and ds1 loves to go "pet kitty Lee" and ds2 loves to watch him, I can't imagine him gone. Many, many hugs Mama.
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#19 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 12:31 AM
 
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Hi all! I'll chime in since the thread is nice and short. I really have appreciated chatting with you all over the last few months but I just CAN'T keep up! So, at the beginning of the month I make an appearance, and we'll see how it goes for March. Does anyone else feel like they don't know where their day went each evening? I'm home full time, and yet I still feel ! Props to all of you who juggle working and mothering!

Deb, I'm SO sorry to hear about your cat! I am a cat lover too, and my heart goes out to you!

I went to an Ash Wednesday service tonight and just about lost it when the priest put the ashes on Clara's head. As she leaned over Clara's little head (who was solemnly staring up at her) she said "Clara, dust you are and to dust you shall return..." Golly, I've heard those words so many times spoken to me, and they are a comfort to me (thinking about the cyclical nature of life) but it just floored me all of a sudden that Clara will DIE some day! I don't EVER think about that--I'm not stressed about that sort of thing, and when it hit me tonight it wasn't a scary thought, just a weighty one! I think it's easy to take things for granted in the day-to-day exhaustion, but the reality is that we only have the moment right now! Anyway, I hope my thoughts aren't too morbid for ya'll, that's just what's on my mind right now.

I'm off to curl up with my book (a novel by my FAVORITE author, Wendell Berry) and then head to bed soon. Goodnight!
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#20 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 01:51 AM
 
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Deb, so sorry about your kitty. Hugs, mama.

I know what you mean about your assessment of yourself as a mom. I'm not what I'd call a "bosomy" mother - not very nurturing by nature, snuggly, etc...but I've found that I'm a GREAT mom to toddlers and older kids. My dd1 is doing great with a practical, pragmatic, fun mom who has firm boundaries and limits. Just letting you know, there are all kinds of moms and I'm sure you're a good one.

Skana, my take on spacing is that I'm so happy with my girls' ages, but it wasn't intentional. I've been married twice - divorced when dd1 was four - and it took awhile to get my 2nd life going and have another. I would have loved to have given dd1 a sibling sooner, but my X had a vasectomy when she was five weeks old and the rest is a loooooooong story! In the end, my girls are great together and both seems contented to be with the other. DD1 really seems truly content now that Annabelle is here - as if she's just been waiting to be a big sister and now that she is, her life is complete. I hope to have another baby, we'll have to see how finances, age (I'm almost 41), and moving from two to three kids conspire to make that happen!

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#21 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 12:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarenSwan
I think it's easy to take things for granted in the day-to-day exhaustion, but the reality is that we only have the moment right now! Anyway, I hope my thoughts aren't too morbid for ya'll, that's just what's on my mind right now.
Caren-I hope you won't go for good. I bet few of us read each and every single message so don't feel like you must. Just jump in when you can. =) Goodness knows, we all know we're all busy.

ALL
Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. I cleaned her bowls out today and will put them downstairs in the cat carrier. I'm giving away her expensive food on freecycle. I barely slept last night; my eyes are swollen and red.

That quote above is where I am right now. We only have the current moment. When I'm rushing around, trying to get my hair and teeth brushed, eat oatmeal, nurse and get out the door for the work it is SO hard to stop, breathe and appreciate this moment, this life, this wonderful time I've been given. Every moment is a gift, especially every moment with my DH and baby.

I feel guilty about the cat. I'd not spent as much time with her since O was born and the cat was my first baby. You pet owners will understand. =) The night before she died, she put a paw up on my lap to request more food. DH picked her up and rubbed her back and we both gave her some love. Then I stood up and the cat jumped from DH's arms because she really wanted more food. I fed her and was thinking how it's been 6 months and I'm less freaked out about motherhood than I was in the first few weeks. So I'd planned to pay more attention to the cat now that I was less overwhelmed. I learned the hard way life isn't like that. We can't say I'm going to pay less attention now and pay more attention later because there might not be a later.

What I learned is I want to be present starting today. When baby is playing, I don't want to think about the bills or work or what to eat for lunch. I want to be with the baby. Yesterday was the day i started to do that.
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#22 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 12:19 PM
 
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s Sorry about your kitty Deb.

I hear you on not feeling like a natural mother, I have to force myself a lot of the time, especially when it comes to babies. To be honest, I was content with one child, but wanted Nathan to have a sibling. I'm not always huggy-cuddly all the time and need space. Sometimes I feel like I'd like to just start out with a 10 mo and skip all the rest, but in reality I really wouldn't trade it for anything.

Mom to two boys, ages 8 and 11, and one blessing due May 8th.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 baby.gif 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

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#23 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 01:37 PM
 
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Deborah, I am so sorry about your cat. That is so difficult.

Caren, it is so nice to see you here - and please, these threads do get really long...but even if you just pop in to say hi & don't read all 43,983 posts, that would be great, too! It's good to hear from you.

All -- I came to the March thread this morning & I'm reading posts about child spacing and thinking about my own child spacing...

--because I'm pregnant again.

It's bittersweet - I'm happy, of course, because I love babies and I definitely wanted another one, and I wanted A to have a sib, and on and on ... but I am so anxious and just...not ready yet!! I am scared to death I'm going to lose my supply during pregancy and I Do Not Want to wean Adam yet. I'm scared about how tired and crazy I was a few months ago and already afraid of this coming fall and next winter, being tired and crazy with a newborn and a 15 month old! Adam still wakes up for ~3-5 diapers at night, and nurses ~3-4 times at night, still. We have been talking about eventually having him sleep in his own bed over the course of the coming year, for multiple reasons, but not yet!! And how am I going to be as nurturing to a toddler & infant as I was simply to this one infant? How am I going to sling two kids? How am I going to sleep, ever again? Let alone DTD - I can count on 1 hand the number of times dh and I have done so since Adam was born, and sure enough...

I am just...scared. I ordered LLL's book on tandem nursing this morning, and got on kellymom, and it made me feel a little better, but I'm just way overwhelmed imagining it.

And family - I am thankful most of the time that they are several hours away, but ultimately, that means that there is no one around to help, either...

Thanks for reading this far - I'm just really nervous and overwhelmed, and I feel bad because I was so happy the minute I found out last year that I was pg with Adam...and I don't feel like my reaction right now is truly honoring and loving the little bitty life within me.

The odd thing was, I haven't told any of my IRL friends yet -- one is pregnant and going for her 1st u/s today - I called her in the car to sing "Happy Ultrasound to You", and didn't quite feel it was the time this week to tell her. And the other one may have to schedule surgery on Friday to take care of her hemorrhagic cysts and seemingly unsolvable fertility problems...and it isn't the right time to tell her, either. So thank you all for being here for me.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#24 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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Emily, gosh, big gigantic hugs to you and CONGRATULATIONS! That is really fabulous news!

I sure know how you feel about not being ready. When I got pg with Annabelle my dh was living in France and I didn't even tell him until he decided to move back to the States, because I didn't want the pg to feel like some sort of manipulation. Even then, I considered termination. It really is a PROCESS to accept an unplanned pregnancy. Give yourself some time, your baby will wait.

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#25 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 04:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Emily: Congratulations! It's hard, adding the second, but it's worth it. I had alternating feelings of anxiety, happiness, love, guilt for having to share my love for ds1 w/this future sibling (when in truth the love comes from some spring inside of me and there's more than enough love for the two of them) guilt for ending his babyhood so early, guilt for not falling instantly in love with this being inside me, guilt for not being a better mother those early months when I was almost too tired to get off the couch and we watched a lot of tv, guilt for not taking care of myself as well w/ds1's pregnancy as I was w/ds2's pregnancy, guilt for getting pregnant a second time so easily when one sil suffered from secondary infertility and the other sil tried IVF several times w/out getting pregnant, guilt for feeling guilty (surely all that guilt couldn't be good for the growing babe, no?) But it all works out in th end and I just had to/have to have faith in that.

Congratulations again!
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#26 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 06:28 PM
 
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hi ladies.

My name is Kristen and I had my first child Madeleine Isabella on August 5, 2005. She was born via emergency c section under general because my placenta had started to tear away. She ingested quite a bit of blood and had to be left in the nicu for a week. But all is well with her and she came home soo strong and we have been exclusively breastfeeding ever since!

She has started crawling, and we have started her on some solids, but I am not pushing it. Some days she is intersted some days she isnt, and some days I am not willing to give up my nursing time with her. She started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks.

Considering everything, I am damn lucky, and my baby is the light of my life. I am 25 and live in florida with my fiance. Life couldn't be more intersting. I also started working part time last week at a vet office. It is murder being away from her, but nice to be back at work.
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#27 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 07:29 PM
 
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Congratulations Emily! s It's scary I know, but you are a great mom, things will work out. Keep us posted.

KristenandMadelein - Hi & Welcome!

It was 40 degrees today and we went for a walk--Outside!!!!

Man, the fresh air blew out months worth of brain cobwebs & the kids had a blast.

Mom to two boys, ages 8 and 11, and one blessing due May 8th.

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#28 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 11:14 PM
 
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Emily!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow...that is so exciting!!! I can understand how you're feeling -- I hope you just give yourself lots of space to feel whatever comes. I can see going back and forth and everywhere in between!!! That was very sweet of you to let your friend have her ultrasound day!! That was my favorite day of pregnancy.

I had the longest crappiest day!!!! Gotta work now...

Welcome to the new folks!!!!
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#29 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 11:33 PM
 
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Emily!!! Congrats! I can totally appreciate the mixed feelings--I'm SURE I would feel the same way! But I know so many people who have sucessfully tandem nursed and who even claim that it's EASIER to have them close together ! One friend in particular felt SO guilty that her little boy wouldn't get to be "babied" for as long as he would have otherwise, but it turns out that now he and his little sister (I think they're about 16 mos. apart) are the BEST of friends, and he never had jealousy issues because he was just too young to have the whole entitlement thing going! I know of so many sibs who are spaced farther apart and have such a hard time adjusting. So just think! You're sparing Adam that! And I'll bet he'll be a great big brother! It's funny, I have two friends IRL who are in the same boat--prego with a little one in tow--and though it's taken them a while, they're both getting really excited. Blessings to you!

Also, thanks for the nice welcome back, everyone! You guys are the best!

And to KristenandMadelein!
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#30 of 389 Old 03-02-2006, 11:34 PM
 
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Oops, double post...
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