There is an utter lack of respect for us, and for our parenting choices. The lack of respect for us we can handle. We're not looking for anyone's approval. Acceptance would be nice, but we're not too concerned. The lack of respect for our parenting choices is another issue. By questioning our parenting skills and our beliefs about what is best for our children, you are choosing to start a fight and to alienate us. By outright defying our decisions and backing one or the other of us into a corner, you bring out the overprotectiveness of the other, which only leads to more conflict. There is more than enough negative energy in this situation!! We don't need people creating more just to see what happens, or to validate their own beliefs.
And then there are the constant comparisons. We realize that everyone parents differently, and that those who parent more closely to the way you have will automatically earn your respect. However, that does not mean that those choices are the only choices, or the only respectable choices. We don't need or want to have to hear about how much better you feel your other grandchild is doing, or how she is so much more advanced than she should be. Pride is all well and good, but there comes a point when it becomes an interferance and a negatve effect on others. It has reached that point with us and we must insist it stop. As with some people in this family, their in for a huge surprise when they find out what they think they know is not at all the truth. Problems arise out of small things that are overlooked or ignored altogether. The fact that you overlook or ignore the big things here is the issue. Your willing to travel across the country but not willing to go a few blocks up the street? Sorry, but that is complete and total onesidedness and selfish. We are no different than anyone else in this family and to be treated otherwise is BULL $H*T!!!
We have tolerated the favoritism about as long as we care to. We are adults, and far more intelligent than it appears to be the perogative of this family to recognize. It matters to us only because it is affecting our children. We see the same things continuing with the new generation, and it sickens us on the whole and pains us where it relates to our children. Long-held biases should not be visited on our children. We recognize there are encyclopedias full of anger and pain that should have been dealt with long ago that are still floating around. The refusal of certain people to be mature enough to just come out with it and say what's on their mind is bad enough, but when it reaches the point where those issues are being used as an excuse for things that involve our children, we must draw a line and enforce it. If you must express your anger or whatever you wish to call it regarding the past, do so, but please limit your agressiveness to the adults in the situation. The children were not here then, and they have no place in all of this. The negative energy needs to be aired and done away with before any further harm is done to any of us, especially the children. We are willing to sit down and discuss the open wounds and other issues as adults. However, we will no longer stand for the constant subtle insults and insinuations. If this situation can not be resolved, we will be left with no choice but to resolve it on our own.
And then there are the constant comparisons. We realize that everyone parents differently, and that those who parent more closely to the way you have will automatically earn your respect. However, that does not mean that those choices are the only choices, or the only respectable choices. We don't need or want to have to hear about how much better you feel your other grandchild is doing, or how she is so much more advanced than she should be. Pride is all well and good, but there comes a point when it becomes an interferance and a negatve effect on others. It has reached that point with us and we must insist it stop. As with some people in this family, their in for a huge surprise when they find out what they think they know is not at all the truth. Problems arise out of small things that are overlooked or ignored altogether. The fact that you overlook or ignore the big things here is the issue. Your willing to travel across the country but not willing to go a few blocks up the street? Sorry, but that is complete and total onesidedness and selfish. We are no different than anyone else in this family and to be treated otherwise is BULL $H*T!!!
We have tolerated the favoritism about as long as we care to. We are adults, and far more intelligent than it appears to be the perogative of this family to recognize. It matters to us only because it is affecting our children. We see the same things continuing with the new generation, and it sickens us on the whole and pains us where it relates to our children. Long-held biases should not be visited on our children. We recognize there are encyclopedias full of anger and pain that should have been dealt with long ago that are still floating around. The refusal of certain people to be mature enough to just come out with it and say what's on their mind is bad enough, but when it reaches the point where those issues are being used as an excuse for things that involve our children, we must draw a line and enforce it. If you must express your anger or whatever you wish to call it regarding the past, do so, but please limit your agressiveness to the adults in the situation. The children were not here then, and they have no place in all of this. The negative energy needs to be aired and done away with before any further harm is done to any of us, especially the children. We are willing to sit down and discuss the open wounds and other issues as adults. However, we will no longer stand for the constant subtle insults and insinuations. If this situation can not be resolved, we will be left with no choice but to resolve it on our own.