If your son is intact (not circed) please read - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 08:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there. I was sitting here this morning reading in The Case Against Circ and yet another mother has come in saying that a dr retracted her sons foreskin causing the boy much distress. It occured to me that not everyone here might now about the no retraction rule and that I could send u all to the sticky over there and maybe save some other little ones from this assault. Here is a direct link to A Warning To Parents Of Intact Sons It is very important that the proper measures be taken to protect our sons from uneducated health care professional and in some cases family members.
Thanks



Also see the sticky in CAC The definition of "Retraction" & Why it is BAD


Even if you dont see any damage after there can still be micro tears that can lead to scar tissue later. Do whatever it takes to keep this from happening please.

 
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#2 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 09:09 AM
 
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bump.

a dr in peru retracted my son. i made the wrong assumption of thinking that because so many kids there aren't circed, she'd know not to retract my DS. wrong!! luckily, DS didn't get an infection.

on the first page of the link, there's a sheet on the care of the uncircumcised penis--good to print out and bring to the dr!

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#3 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 09:11 AM
 
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A nurse at KPA tried to retract my son and wouldn't quit till I smacked her hand away!
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#4 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 09:54 AM
 
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Thanks for the post. I have a question- how can you tell if someone has retracted your babe's skin when you weren't there. I have told anyone that has ever changed his diaper (MIL, etc) about what to do/ not to do, but I was wondering if it is obvious if it has been done. Is it red or bleeding or what?
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#5 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sometimes it is obviouse with bleeding, swelling and redness. Other times there are no signs. Just depends on the idividual.

I want to add to that when most hear the word retraction they think of pulling it all the way back, but in fact retraction is any movement of pulling the skin back at all and should not be done at all. The skin of a baby is so thin that even a small amount of movement can cause microscopic tears and that can let in bacteria. There is a intact care agreement http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm u can print out and have kept in ur sons chart and to keep with u for visits to other healthcare places so that u can give it to them and go over it so this dosnt happen to ur son. And here is the link to the AAP Intact Care Guide just in case ur dr wants to argue the point.

 
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#6 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 05:24 PM
 
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I had this old nurse try to retract my 9 mo ds, to clean him to put a little urine sticky bag on him. I had to yell at her and knock her hand away. She kept telling me to move my hand, and I told her no. She acted like he was dirty or nasty because he was intact
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#7 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 05:34 PM
 
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That's aweful.....I could sort of understand an inexperienced caregiver trying to get things clean and not knowing any better....but what business does a Dr/nurse have with anything in/under there ?? Why even bother to retract??

Laurie, wife to guitar.gifDH (Aug/04), mom tobikenew.gifDS1 (Nov/05) and bfinfant.gifDS2 (June/12).

 

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#8 of 110 Old 05-17-2006, 08:56 PM
 
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Thanks!
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#9 of 110 Old 05-18-2006, 12:13 PM
 
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My sons ped actually retracted and then told me that I should be doing it with every diaper change! Can you believe that? I looked at her like she was nuts and she ignored me. Lets just say do to that and a few other reasons we are NO LONGER using that ped. I can't believe some of the doctors out there it is sooo scary how much we have to be our childs own doctor in a sense because you have to constantly weigh what you are being told to make sure what is right for your child. This retracting should NEVER be an issue ugh it just makes me sooo sad...
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#10 of 110 Old 05-18-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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ccbloom, you are right... we DO have to be our own child's doctor alot of the time. It is the only safe way to do it. Doctors are so ingrained, and so quick to do what is the "norm", even if it could be harmful
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#11 of 110 Old 05-18-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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Ooh! This has me so fired up! How incredibly wrong for someone to do that. I had no idea it was so prevalent.
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#12 of 110 Old 05-19-2006, 02:38 PM
 
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I'm so glad this topic is here. We chose not ot circumcise our son mainly because there was absolutely no reason TO do it. Our pediatrician told us to retract it also, AT EVERY DIAPER CHANGE! I did not know better in the beginning and I was doing it. How horrible I feel now. And knowing that me, being clueless followed her directions, I wonder how many others out there are? I've really lost all respect for this woman as someone in the medical profession. Not only with that bad advice but also telling us to let him CIO, start solid foods 3X daily at 4 months, and tsk tsking at us cosleeping.
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#13 of 110 Old 05-19-2006, 02:44 PM
 
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My ped tried the very first time I saw him, I said "don't retract his foreskin" and he said it's okay to do it a little. WTF...

The next time we were there, dh was w/ me I said the same thing and he said ok... I guess DH intimitated him...

****I've had to tell every single person in my mainstream family & DH's to not retract it when they change him, they we're all surprised.
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#14 of 110 Old 05-19-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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maybe if we start a handslapping campaign,, seriously, i had to slap the old nurse's hands away from ds. She was going after him and I just HAD to make her stop!!
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#15 of 110 Old 05-19-2006, 07:41 PM
 
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I'm so glad you posted this. We had our 8 week visit with a new CRNP. She was on the older side. She was nice, but she grabbed it and retracted it a little, and said that I should gently retract it a little every day and clean it and gradually the adhesions would go away. I didn't think this was right - I just leave it alone.

Is something that older practitioners tend to do? Or is it strictly ignorance?
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#16 of 110 Old 05-20-2006, 10:37 AM
 
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Our ped told us we had to retract and keep it clean and i didn't know any better so i did a few weeks after he was born i found this site and saw that i wasn't supposed to. I'm so mad at myself for listening to the stupid ped and not finding out for myself The nurse that took care of ds while he was in the nicu even said i had to. I was wondering though, once it has been retracted do you have to keep retracting and cleaning it. I havn't since i found out that it wasn't supposed to be done, but do i need to?

Mom to Malachi 8, Shaylee 5, and baby boy Ezra due October 30th 2014
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#17 of 110 Old 05-20-2006, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malachi's_mommy
Our ped told us we had to retract and keep it clean and i didn't know any better so i did a few weeks after he was born i found this site and saw that i wasn't supposed to. I'm so mad at myself for listening to the stupid ped and not finding out for myself The nurse that took care of ds while he was in the nicu even said i had to. I was wondering though, once it has been retracted do you have to keep retracting and cleaning it. I havn't since i found out that it wasn't supposed to be done, but do i need to?
No definatly not the more retraction that is done the higher the odds that scar tissue will form causing major problems down the road. If given time the damage that was done will heal itself but only if it is left alone.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#18 of 110 Old 05-28-2006, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#19 of 110 Old 05-28-2006, 05:53 PM
 
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Anyone who examines my son gets a "DON'T RETRACT HIS FORESKIN" before they even start. I totally trust my doctor not to do it. And I would easily smack someone's hand if they tried!

We had a ER trip awhile ago and they were confused how to treat him since he was whole. (he needed a catheter) I ended up opening the foreskin just slightly and the nurse inserted the tube. No one touched his penis but me!
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#20 of 110 Old 05-31-2006, 02:25 PM
 
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I've only let a select few change DS's diaper for this very reason, and have watched him like a hawk at each Dr. visit.

We recently started seeing a new Dr., and I was prepared to have to give him the "don't touch/retract his foreskin" talk at DS's last check-up. How pleasantly surprised was I when the Dr. didn't even attempt to open his diaper at all! Maybe this Dr. is a keeper
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#21 of 110 Old 05-31-2006, 05:40 PM
 
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What if the tip is red, but it's because your boy won't leave it alone? Is the redness bad or indicate anything is wrong? (Said son is 3yo) (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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#22 of 110 Old 05-31-2006, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Titus2fam red tip from the boy tugging and pulling is normal. If u visit the Case Against Circ forum lots of info there on it.

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#23 of 110 Old 05-31-2006, 06:59 PM
 
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*THANK YOU!* My two older sons didn't experience the red tip thing. Okay, yet ANOTHER great Mothering forum I need to visit! LOL! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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#24 of 110 Old 05-31-2006, 07:00 PM
 
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*THANK YOU!* My two older sons didn't experience the red tip thing. Okay, yet ANOTHER great Mothering forum I need to visit! LOL! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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#25 of 110 Old 06-02-2006, 01:17 PM
 
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just wanted to bump this up...

raising my two sunshine children.

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#26 of 110 Old 06-02-2006, 03:23 PM
 
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It is not okay to hit a health care worker. Pick up your child instead. Seriously.

Tamara: hs'ing Christian mom of five here and five in Heaven. Joyfully awaiting Punkin, coming mid-Sept!
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#27 of 110 Old 06-02-2006, 04:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is not ok to hit anyone I agree. I did push the peds hand away with ds since it would have been kind of hard to just pick him up since the dr had a tight hold of his penis

 
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#28 of 110 Old 06-02-2006, 04:31 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing this info.

My brother is intact, but my mother INSISTS I am suppose to retract my sons at every bath because that is what the ped told her 18 years ago when my brother was born.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#29 of 110 Old 06-02-2006, 04:32 PM
 
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PS I have NEVER retracted them nor will I ever

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#30 of 110 Old 06-02-2006, 06:19 PM
 
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to all the mamma's and little sweet boys that has had this happen to them!! I feel so lucky that the Dr's I have had for my boys have not ever tried!! When my first son was born I asked our DR if there was anything I needed to do to take care of it, I was uneducated about intact boys, she said "No you don't need to do a thing different then if it was a circ'd boy! It should retract on it's own during his childhood, don't do a thing!" My boys weren't circ'd at first because they have hemophilia and it would have been a danger to them to do it,and if we had it would have been a 3-5 day hospital stay for a procedure my insurance wouldn't cover because they considered it "cosmetic" so we would have had to PAY for all that!! Not gonna happen!! But later as I learned it became more that we thought they needed to be whole and there wasn't a thing wrong with that!! I was glad we didn't do it!!
There was even one time my oldest son had an infection in/on his penis that caused it to be red and swollen and the PED we see now gave us a perscription for an ointment and said apply this ON his penis and when I asked about the foreskin she said "Don't worry about that it could get worse if you pull it back, just apply it to the outside and it should be fine in a day or 2. I feel so lucky and I feel awful for the little guys this happens to at the hands of uneducated dr's and nurses!!
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