Is my 10 month old really behind? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know anything about babies, just my own. I've never babysat, I don't know any babies, etc.

Since having a baby I've noticed the babies I see in public a lot more, obviously. And of course I read here, and I read books like The Baby Book.

I'm coming to realize that my DD seems to be way behind. She seems bright and curious enough to me, but otherwise she seems behind. I am starting to think she even LOOKS young for her age (see siggie, that's her at 9 months).

- I saw a baby that looked about 7 months old at the park yesterday who was clapping hands listening to music. My baby doesn't clap hands.

- She doesn't crawl or pull up. She does roll around and also tries to "will" herself toward a toy if she's interested. That's new, though, from what I read that's more like 6 month old behavior

- She didn't sit up unpropped at 6 months like she was supposed to. I think it was around 8 months, but even now, at 10 months, she doesn't sit up in a way that I could just leave her be. She can sit up for a minute or two and then she'll reach for something, and PLOP. So if she plays with toys that require sitting up I have to help her or prop her, otherwise she'll hurt herself going over on the toy

- She doesn't eat any food. She puts anything in her mouth except food

- I got her some toys that said 6 months + and she's not really doing anything with them except holding the pieces and mouthing them. Such as the doughnut ring toy where you can stack the rings, or the toy where you push different shapes through cut out holes that match the shapes.

Heck, I even saw a baby yesterday that didn't look much bigger than her that was walking, running, dancing in circles, etc.

So I realize there are lots of variations, but it seems like she's not even up to a 6 month level even though she's 10 months. I'm getting a little nervous, and wondering if I'm doing anything wrong. I love her more than life itself and she brings me joy every minute of the day... I just want to do right by her.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#2 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:03 PM
 
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My baby has always been early on her milestones, but I have a friend who's baby is more like yours. My friend is sad that her son can't do the things Zara does and that makes me feel bad when they have playdates together.

All babies develop at their own pace. If you really think she may have a delay, don't hesitate to see a specialist. You said she acts bright and curious so I bet she is just doing things on her own time. Perhaps she is ahead in lauguage or social areas?
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#3 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:15 PM
 
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First - she's so cute!!!

Have you talked to her doctor about any of your concerns? All kids have their own timelines. My ds hit every milestone on the late side and my doc was always like, "well, let's wait a couple months and see what happens." Undoubtably, a couple of months later and he would be up to speed. But I know how hard it is not to compare (I have twins, so I was seeing side-by-side what each could do and not do.)

If you still have concerns, I would contact your local school district. Every public school district has an Early Intervention program for children ages 0-3 years. It's free and they are able to do all kinds of evaluations for speech and language comprehension, gross and fine motor skills, etc. It could put your mind at ease, or highlight areas where she might need a boost. And if your dd does need services - it's free!
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#4 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:16 PM
 
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She is adorable
I really think all babies develop at their own pace, try not to worry to much(easier said than done)
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#5 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:18 PM
 
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I've heard of plenty of babies like yours. My almost ten month old doesn't clap or eat much food either. Your daughter is ADORABLE. I don't think she looks younger than her age in that picture at all.
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#6 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys. I hate my ped so I didn't really want to take my concerns to him unless it seemed warranted. I don't know if she's ahead, on schedule or behind verbally since nothing I read gives any guidelines. She says Ga! or Gat! for cat, and she says Mama. And she says Baba or Bebe when she sees herself in the mirror, or when she holds a doll, often (not every time), and we "think" she might be saying Dada for her daddy, but we're not sure.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#7 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:22 PM
 
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my dd is special needs so I keep pretty up to date on this kind of info

absolutely nothing you said is concerning to me except two things.

1, that YOU are concerned- you are her mother so if you really feel like something is off, don't hesitate to get an evaluation
2. the sitting up is a little indication of a possibility for low muscle tone. would you describe your baby as springy or more floppy? will she put weight on her legs if you stand her up? then again, if the only reason she's falling over is to reach for a toy, she could just be "busy" and not want to sit. When you say fall over, do you really mean she loses her balance and keels over or does she consciously lower herself until she's on her tummy?

looking at her pic, she does not look young for her age, she looks adorable and has no signs of dysmorphic features that are seen with any common syndromes- she looks perfect to me. and she does look bright and curious too. other than the sitting, I think she's within normal range for development, just on the relaxed side! not all babies are supermotivated go-getters, they're content to chill out!

eta, she is on track if not ahead verbally.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#8 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bri276
if the only reason she's falling over is to reach for a toy, she could just be "busy" and not want to sit.
This is ds. He doesn't sit for long, but I think it's because he can roll around and grab for things more easily when he's on his tummy.

The Baby Book has made me worried in the past, too. It's difficult not to start worrying when your own baby (who is, of course, the brightest, smartest, most advanced baby on the planet) isn't hitting a milestone when other babies are. If your concern stems just from the comparison, then try not to worry. But if you intuitively feel that something is wrong, get it checked out.
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#9 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:34 PM
 
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On the verbal. My dd was a little ahead of the curve physically--very active, crawled and walked early--but only just had what you're describing for verbal skills at like 12 or 13 months. At 18 months, she still is working on playing with the stacking rings and shape sorters in what we call the right way --I think sometimes that because she doesn't have the rule book for the education toys, she has a lot more fun just experiencing them. Sounds like that's what your daughter is doing, too.

Yes, if you're worried about your daughter, not in how she compares to others, but how she is, then find someone you trust and get her evaluated. Otherwise, just enjoy her and her unique path of development.

what a lovely bright-eyed child.

Mom of two girls.
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#10 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. I only got worried reading the books and looking at the age recommendations on the toy boxes and stuff. I never thought about it before. It's also possible I am misjudging the ages of the babies I see in public.

I think she's ok, just a little less motivated physically.

As for sitting up, she isn't floppy, her abdomen is firm and upright, just rather that she can't/doesn't control her balance when she leans over. If she didn't want to lean over, she'd stay sitting up (unless she got upset in which case she'd lean BACK). And yes, she can stand, though she doesn't balance herself at all - but if I just provide the balance, she can stand on her own all day if she wanted to.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#11 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 03:01 PM
 
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The ages on toys don't mean babies should be able to "master" playing with them that way at that time. It just means they're safe for babies of that age. Most 10-month olds are only interested in putting toys in their mouths. (Shape sorting, for instance, is a skill that develops much later.)

And, you can't tell how old a baby/toddler is by size. My 3.5 month old is the length/weight of a 6-9 month old. I see babies all the time that are smaller than he is doing all sorts of things he can't. It's always because they are a few months older than he is!

As for food, ds1 did not get into eating solids until 11.5 months. He had an overactive gag reflex. He even gagged on cheerios. Often, babies who refuse solids tend to be prone to allergies; it's a defense mechanism. So, don't push it. By 13 months, ds1 was shoving big handfuls of everything into his mouth.

Since you're not familiar with the range of normal for baby development, you may want to look and see if there is a Parents as Teachers program near you. We have a teacher come visit our home once a month. She brings toys/books/games with her and has playtime with ds. She answers any questions, and can tell you what to expect regarding development. I also get all kinds of ideas for things to do with ds using materials we have around the house. If there is a delay of any kind, they'll also be able to get you help right away. We also go to playgroups through the program, and its fun to have someplace to go. Ds1 loves going to "school." I get to stay with him, and it's free! Just google Parents As Teachers, and you should be able to find their national site, and then find somethiing local through there.

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#12 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 03:14 PM
 
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I think its a little early to worry. (easier said than done) Dont listen to the toy packages. They make me mad. Some toys are listed as 0-4 months. Now what newborn is going to be able to shake a rattle? Their hands are still in fists, mostly. My dd at 8 mo.s still does not play with the rattles (0-4mo) appropriatly. She prefers to mouth it, then slam it on the floor to hear the sound, then watch mommy bend over to pick it up. She also just mouths the rings. As long as your kiddo is interested in the toys, its all good. She does not have to play with them they way they were intended. She sounds normal with interactions. Some babies are just lazy, and others are more inquisitive. Just like us adults. Mine still does not stand or pull up, where as my friends babies walked unassissted at 9 months. It wouldn't hurt to have her checked by her ped, or if you don't like him/her, find a new ped, or nurse practitioner to take a look at her. Nurse Practitioners are generally more "people oriented". And they generally spend more time with you, since they do not carry the same load as a physician. Try not to stress too much. Keep giving that babe lots of love and attention!
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#13 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 03:47 PM
 
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You know we are just too into pigeon holes, we have to have us and our kids in certain boxes doing certain things at certain times, it's soooooo wrong. Our lives are to governed by what we should be rather than what we are, I sometimes feel that all these little boxes that our kids should fit into are more harmful. For example a friend of mine has twin boys one is smaller than the other - they are not identical, to cut a long story short, the ped has recommended that she gives him growth hormones because he won't reach 165cm in adulthood, because he won't be the same as the rest of the general population, my sister's youngest is deaf, it doesn't mean to say that he can't have a fulfilled life as some people would like to suggest, listen to how YOU think your child is and work on it from there, if there is a problem then you probably know in your heart that there is, and that is fine we're all different and development means our child's development not a general development.

to you and I hope you manage to get through that which is troubling you.

ewe + dh = our little lambs + we and have many just : and : life .
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#14 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 04:33 PM
 
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Your dd sounds just like a friend's dd. She was quite advance verbally (saying all those words at only 10 months is pretty advanced) but couldn't really sit up well on her own until at least 10 months, crawled later and walked around 16 months. She is 3 now and completely caught up with all the other kids who sat up/walked early, and she's still advanced in speech/language.

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#15 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 05:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybee
Since you're not familiar with the range of normal for baby development, you may want to look and see if there is a Parents as Teachers program near you. We have a teacher come visit our home once a month. She brings toys/books/games with her and has playtime with ds. She answers any questions, and can tell you what to expect regarding development. I also get all kinds of ideas for things to do with ds using materials we have around the house. If there is a delay of any kind, they'll also be able to get you help right away. We also go to playgroups through the program, and its fun to have someplace to go. Ds1 loves going to "school." I get to stay with him, and it's free! Just google Parents As Teachers, and you should be able to find their national site, and then find somethiing local through there.
Parent as Teachers is awesome in my community. I love being part of the program & my DD loves the playgroups!
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#16 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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I don't feel qualified to evaluate whether your dd is behind or not, but I agree with pps that if YOU feel something is going on, then you should get it checked out. It never hurts to get it checked out -- if you don't agree with the results then you don't have to do anything. But you might find it helpful.

It does seem that your dd is a little behind on the physical side, although I agree she's advanced with words, and also that it's normal to not get the shape-sorter or stacking rings yet. I just don't know if she's "behind" enough to be considered outside the range of normal. Again, go with your gut.

One other thing you could consider is taking her to a chiropracter and/or for craniosacral therapy. I did/do both of these with my dd (11 months now) due to birth trauma and nursing difficulties, but I also believe they helped her physical development as well (she has been on time or ahead for everything). The chiro noticed when she was maybe 5 months old that she resisted being put in a sitting position (arched backwards out of it). She made a tiny adjustment, and after that dd sat happily (with help, of course). But I wonder if without that adjustment, sitting unassisted may have been delayed, since being in that position obviously caused her some discomfort. And I absolutely LOVE CST ... it has changed our lives in so many ways and I think it's great for dd (you can read more about our experiences here if you want). Helps her out physically (digestive problems, etc.) as well as helping her release trauma, which I think helps physically as well (her body isn't weighed down by that, and is free to develop unhindered). We see a massage therapist who specializes in CST and kids, and it's $30/session. I know she treats kids with autism, developmental delays, etc., with some success (according to her). I'm so impressed with CST that I'm considering getting some training in it myself. If you're interested, you can find a practitioner here. Find someone with lots of training, then call and ask if they work with babies. I happen to believe the somatoemotional release aspect of CST is really important, so you can see if they have that training too.

Good luck, mama. I know it can be hard not to worry {{{HUGS}}}.

Mama to M (7/05) and S (5/08) my surprise !!!
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#17 of 21 Old 06-29-2006, 07:46 PM
 
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I don't think there is anything to worry about at all. Every baby develops at his or her own pace, and your daughter seems to be taking a bit more relaxed attitude towards physical development. She's still absolutely within the norms though. I've read a ton of books about baby development and I don't see anything in your story that leads to concern. She's an early talker, but she is by no means significantly late with anything else. Don't worry, mama, she is doing just fine.
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#18 of 21 Old 06-30-2006, 02:47 AM
 
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Well, I have a 9 month old, and it sounds like they are right around the same place.



- I saw a baby that looked about 7 months old at the park yesterday who was clapping hands listening to music. My baby doesn't clap hands.

DS doesn't clap either

- She doesn't crawl or pull up. She does roll around and also tries to "will" herself toward a toy if she's interested. That's new, though, from what I read that's more like 6 month old behavior

He doesnt' crawl or pull up either. Sometimes I get a commando crawl, but not often.

- She didn't sit up unpropped at 6 months like she was supposed to. I think it was around 8 months, but even now, at 10 months, she doesn't sit up in a way that I could just leave her be. She can sit up for a minute or two and then she'll reach for something, and PLOP. So if she plays with toys that require sitting up I have to help her or prop her, otherwise she'll hurt herself going over on the toy

Ds has been sitting unassisted for about 6 weeks - so since around 7 1/2 months. He often plops over too. My now three year old DD didn't sit unassisted until almost 10 months.

- She doesn't eat any food. She puts anything in her mouth except food DS' fave "food" is paper. If he puts food in his mouth, he spits it out. If he manages to swallow any, he throws it up.

- I got her some toys that said 6 months + and she's not really doing anything with them except holding the pieces and mouthing them. Such as the doughnut ring toy where you can stack the rings, or the toy where you push different shapes through cut out holes that match the shapes.

I think this is actually pretty normal - even my very physically advanced DS1 and my great with hand eye coordination from birth DD couldn't/didn't do much with those kinds of toys.


Heck, I even saw a baby yesterday that didn't look much bigger than her that was walking, running, dancing in circles, etc.

Sounds like an advanced young baby or a small older one. This is the way DS1 was. He took his first steps the day he turned 10 months old, and was literally running by evening. He was scaling bookshelves and giving me heart attacks at 9 months. DD, OTOH, didn't sit unassisted until around 10 months, didn't commando crawl until her 1st bday, and didn't take her first steps until 16 months. I had one who did everything way ahead of schedule and another who was toward the end of the normal range and often into "late." The good news is that they have both turned out fine. DS1 is still very physically daring and DD is still pretty timid when it comes to climbing, biking, stairs, etc - but both normal. DS2 is, so far, in the middle. Your baby is probably fine, and even if "behind," will likely be fine.

All of that said, if you are having any doubts, you might ask for an evaluation. It can't hurt, and it will either reassure you that she's fine, or get her OT to help get her to where she needs to be.
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#19 of 21 Old 06-30-2006, 12:02 PM
 
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if you're worried, call your local early intervention specialists. it should be free, through the local school district. anyways they'll check for any developmental delays.

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#20 of 21 Old 06-30-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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I agree...if you are worried, see about having her evaluated. It never hurts.

I too felt the same way with my oldest though. He sat on his own at 8 months, didn't crawl until 10 months and walked at 15 months. When he did talk he didn't know his colors and would say everything was blue. Long story short...at 5 we had an IQ test done and found him to be in the genius range. He doesn't have any learning disabilities or anything. BUT, I have also found that if you have concerns and you are worried, trust your instincts.
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#21 of 21 Old 07-06-2006, 12:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire
I got her some toys that said 6 months + and she's not really doing anything with them except holding the pieces and mouthing them. Such as the doughnut ring toy where you can stack the rings, or the toy where you push different shapes through cut out holes that match the shapes.

.
i work in an infant room at a daycare, and ive never seen a 10 month old play with these types of toys "correctly" ..... every once in a while a ring might make it on the base, or a shape through the right hole, but its purely accidental.... most kids dont start getting the rings til after 12 months, and i dont think we have any that can do the shape sorters, except maybe a couple that were ready to go to toddlers, and my room is is 6 weeks to 18 months

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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