June 2006 Mamas- here is a space! - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 05:47 PM
 
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I'm surprised that CDs worked out for us too, because I am sooooo LAZY. The first diaper I tried was a fitted with a cover and it leaked right out the side. Then I put a Fuzzi Bunz on her and it was golden. (In more ways than one, I suppose.) I immediately ordered a full-time supply. Once I got the washing routine down, I was good to go. I started CDing after the meconium passed, even though I had a ton of disposables. So I always had all those disposables as a backup. Less pressure for me. Now I'll give the disposables to a friend who is about to have her 5th kid, and I know there is no way in hell she'll CD. Anyway, I don't get the hype about "cute" diapers, but I do get why people spend so much on FBs, because I have.
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#302 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 06:17 PM
 
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My little Willow (06/09/06) is sleeping through the night YAY! I am so glad, because ds didn't until 22 m,onths old!
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#303 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 07:07 PM
 
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I'm glad we're getting the hang of CDing only because with my pg stomach, the smell of the disposables was actually making me physically ill, so it was a relief to put a clean piece of cotton on her bum instead. Just using prefolds and covers mostly, but I do have a few kissaluvs that I use for night-time, although I do need a more absorbant nighttime dipe since she's sleeping more at night.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#304 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 08:08 PM
 
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wow, 9 weeks yesterday. she's starting to grow out of newborn sizes. she doesn't have her 2 month visit for another week and a half, but i am sure she's doubled her birth weight (not hard since it was only 5lbs!). i think i still have thrush, and it's driving me crazy. we did nystatin, which cleared her up, then gentian violet, and i've been taking GSE and garlic and probiotics the whole time. adding vinegar to the laundry, changing the sheets and towels, all that. maybe i should just sit in a bath of vinegar for a day. i guess the next stop is diflucan??

slings: we're boring now, we have a khaki OTSBH and a black Zolowear ring sling. my husband and I share them. i have my eye on a mei tai next, and i think i will get a reversible one with a nice girlie pattern on one side.

dipes: we use probably 90% fuzzi bunz/bum genius and the rest we fill in with 7th generation sposies. like when laundry is behind or we are out. we didn't start from birth because she didn't fit into them. DH hated fitteds and covers, so we've gotten rid of those.

birth regrets: i'm in therapy over this one. i could write a book, although i should probably start with just writing the damn birth story one of these days. labor at home and in the tub was awesome, and i'm glad i got to experience it. the c-section was horrible, and i think i have PTSD. i still have no idea if we could have predicted the low fluid/growth restriction thing in advance. i thought i was doing everything right with low intervention midwives and a doula and mental preparation blah blah blah. i go back and forth being angry at my midwife and angry at myself, like could we have known? the midwife said if we had caught it, we would have possibly induced and done a trial of labor, and if she hadn't tolerated it, the outcome would have been the same. since i wasn't post-dates, there wasn't an indication for a BPP other than a drop in fundal height, and it just so happened that she engaged deeply to coincide with the drop. and then i see all the trumpeting on the natural birth boards about how late heart decels aren't serious, blah blah, and anyone who has a c-section got railroaded, and i just feel like crap. i hate that the thing that probably saved my baby from more serious problems gets lumped in with all the convenience c-sections. the best guess i've gotten from the midwife and the on-call doc was that the placenta deteriorated early, possible brought on by the stress i experienced at 36-37 weeks when we were homeless for two weeks because of a flood. this caused fluid to stop being produced, and she stopped getting adequate nourishment. but we don't know. if someone could give me a specific answer and say "this happened, here's why," i could file it away and move on, i think. this is going to be our only baby, so i don't get a do-over. i don't think i want one anyway. i can't handle another scare and disappointment like that. and she's perfect anyway, of course!

whoo, you get a cookie if you read all that!
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#305 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 08:09 PM
 
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The virtues of breastmilk....

So, I read that breastmilk is good for a wide variety of things, including baby acne. I've been 'squirting' DD a few times a day and rubbing it in for 2 days now, and her acne is SO much better! YAY, breastmilk!!!!

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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#306 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 08:16 PM
 
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mommitola, how do you like Bumgenius? I'm thinking of switching from FBs, what with the price increase and all. If I'm going to spend that much, I'd rather get the one-size BGs, you know? I have heard that some babies get a rash because of the suede cloth. Also, about the reversible mei tai, I ordered one from Baby Hawk, so I'll let you know how we like it. It won't be here for a couple of weeks.
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#307 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 08:17 PM
 
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helen... i love that you sat exactly what i'm thinking regarding c-section. when i get home tonight, i'll wriite my birth regrets.

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#308 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 08:29 PM
 
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Hi everyone...I've been reading for a while but haven't posted on this board yet. I posted some pictures of Maggie on the June picture board the other day though. I thought I would tell you all a little about myself.
Maggie is 8 weeks old. She was born on the 21st, It was a wonderful water birth at a birthing center about an hour from our house.
I'm also having a lot of anger issues about birth though. With my first daughter, I was young and dumb. I trusted the doctor to give me the best information and medical attention. I ended up induced at 40 weeks with an epidural and a routine episiotomy! I now feel like I was neglected the truth! The only good thing that came out of Layla's birth was of coarse Layla, and the desire to learn more about the natural state of my body.

: Okay enough of the crying...
Maggie is great. She weighed 8lbs 8 oz and is well over 12 now. She is beautiful and healthy. Layla loves her. We're tandem nursing. It's a handful but I think it is worth it.

We're pretty much full time fuzzi bunzing over here. I have had no problems from them. My husband even loves them. We're working on ecing. It's amazing. I miss a lot, but it's one less diaper I wash!

As far as babywearing, I have a hotsling, that I use everyday. I also picked up a baby bjorn at a consignment shope for a really good price, but I hate it and am going to sell it on ebay soon. I want a list of carriers: moby wrap, ergo, and mei tei (sp?). I would love some good suggestions on where to start. I went to la leche league the other day, and the leader was really into wrapping. She said I needed a storchenwiege or didymos. She said Maggie was pretty big for a Moby??? I was just loving the Moby D too. Once again, I would love some ideas.

Even though I haven't said much around here, I am really enjoying your babies! I'm from Arkansas, and there aren't a lot of natural parents around here. You all make me feel like I'm not such and weirdo mom! You should see the looks I get with a sling on!
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#309 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 08:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mommitola
whoo, you get a cookie if you read all that!
I would like a big, warm, homemade chocolate chip cookie please. And could I have some milk to go with that?

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#310 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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I went to the fabric store today and got 5yds of black cotton. It makes a great wrap!! I also bought 1/2 yard of black/blue flame fabric that Im going to put in the middle like a panel, like the moby d's. its gonna be so cool. I'll have to post a pic when i get it all sewn. he loves the "fake moby" he fell right to sleep
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#311 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 09:23 PM
 
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that sounds great, I would love to know how it goes! Has anyone heard of the ultimate baby wrap. It looks like the moby, but it's not. Anyway, I saw one at a resale shop the other day for $20. I didn't buy it cause I thougt I should check it out first.
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#312 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 09:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by papayapetunia
mommitola, how do you like Bumgenius? I'm thinking of switching from FBs, what with the price increase and all. If I'm going to spend that much, I'd rather get the one-size BGs, you know? I have heard that some babies get a rash because of the suede cloth. Also, about the reversible mei tai, I ordered one from Baby Hawk, so I'll let you know how we like it. It won't be here for a couple of weeks.
I am on the fence about the BGs - I love the economy of one-size, but the suede cloth doesn't wick the moisture off the skin as nicely as the fleece as far as we've noticed. No rash, but we rotate with other things, so not sure how that would work out full-time. She has a Muttaqin one-size AIO with an organic velour snap-in layer that does better with the moisture, but those are even more $ (although I love the prints they come in!). But the BG stretchy tabs are great, and the fit is nice and fairly trim.

Sarah: I will get the cookie in the mail. Now, around here, you get your choice of soy milk or breast milk... ewwww.

Korin:
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#313 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 09:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mommitola
and then i see all the trumpeting on the natural birth boards about how late heart decels aren't serious, blah blah, and anyone who has a c-section got railroaded, and i just feel like crap. i hate that the thing that probably saved my baby from more serious problems gets lumped in with all the convenience c-sections.
: I *heard* the decelerations on the tocometer....how SLOW they were, like.....S-L-O-W. And NOT recovering. It scared the ever living daylights out of me. As much as I hated having the section again, the possible alternate outcomes were NOT something I wanted to risk. I can't even think about that. So, I feel defensive and lousy on MDC sometimes, like I have to justify it...which sucks. I'm not too posh to push, but unfortunately I get lumped in there probably, too sometimes. Oh well. So much other great stuff here at MDC. Big to all of us who had sections who really didn't want them and triedall we could to avoid them...


Quote:
Originally Posted by mommitola
whoo, you get a cookie if you read all that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by sehbub
I would like a big, warm, homemade chocolate chip cookie please. And could I have some milk to go with that?
:, too!!! mmmmmmmmmmm, chocolate chip cookie..........

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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#314 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 10:22 PM
 
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: I *heard* the decelerations on the tocometer....how SLOW they were, like.....S-L-O-W. And NOT recovering. It scared the ever living daylights out of me. As much as I hated having the section again, the possible alternate outcomes were NOT something I wanted to risk. I can't even think about that. So, I feel defensive and lousy on MDC sometimes, like I have to justify it...which sucks. I'm not too posh to push, but unfortunately I get lumped in there probably, too sometimes. Oh well. So much other great stuff here.
Yes, that was a terrible sound. She hit 60 and didn't bounce back when we were still at the house in the tub, and the midwife just said "OK, which hospital are we going to?" She hadn't had a transfer in 3 years, and only a handful in 14 years of practice, so I basically knew I was getting a c-section at that point since I was only 5-6cm and couldn't push her out quickly. The decels continued at the hospital even though contractions virtually stopped from all the adrenalin, and then they started happening between contractions, which is when we booked it into the OR. I didn't want to find out what else would happen. It felt like it would amount to playing a game of chicken with a freight train. We do what we gotta do for our babies, huh? And I am forever chastened for any judgments I've ever made when reading someone else's birth story.
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#315 of 510 Old 08-19-2006, 10:23 PM
 
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's to all with labor/birth regrets and upset. I don't know if I have any real regrets or upset over it (pretty textbook waterbirth at home), but I did not enjoy it, it started really slowly and nice, and then went from basically 0-60 in the course of an hour, and I still ended up tearing and requiring stitches, probably because I transitioned and pushed so quickly (well, that and the fact that Elliot's head was 14 1/2"!). I think deep down I just knew it was my last - I really didn't enjoy the pregnancy much either, whereas I loved being pregnant with my first two boys. So, I probably need to process it all, especially because we were paying out of pocket for what I thought would be my dream labor/birth experience and I think I feel kind of ripped off. (I absolutely loved my midwife, her attendant, and my doula though.) I also wrestled with having my two older boys there - still do. I had them there for their benefit, but definitely did not enjoy it.

Slings/carriers: I have a couple homemade slings, a homemade podegi, homemade wrap, plus a rebozo and Babyhawk mei tai. I go back and forth on what I like the most.

CD's: We cd full-time. Plus both older boys are in pockets/aio's at night. The laundry is unbelievable though. We use flats, prefolds (trimmed premiums already), fitteds (Swaddlebees, Little Beetles and Dream-Ez), and homemade aio's (VB pattern). I just ordered two FB for night time to see how he does (he *hates* being wet). We typically use wool (Bumpy - my absolute favorite) or fleece covers (Swaddlebees or Sugarpeas), but also have PUL (Nikky's, Bummis, and Bumpy).

Baby: Elliot is such a cutie and flirt! He is full of smliles and sometimes shares his adorable giggle with us too. And boy is he big. At 2 months and 2 days, he weighed just over 15 pounds (at least by my method of weigh myself and then weigh us together ). My middle ds wasn't 14 pounds until 4 months. We are almost donw with thrush - just a couple light white patches left in his mouth, which we treat with powdered probiotics.

 Me + dh = heartbeat.gif ds (7/01), ds (11/03), ds (6/06)
and dd born 11/21/10 - our T21 SuperBaby ribbluyel.gif heartbeat.gif
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#316 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 01:24 AM
 
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At 2 months and 2 days, he weighed just over 15 pounds (at least by my method of weigh myself and then weigh us together ).

Glad your getting over with the thrush. Ryker prob weighs 15-16lbs now, at his 2 month & a few days apt he was already 14lbs.

's to everyone with labor/birth regrets and upset.



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#317 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 01:26 AM
 
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Ok... so labor regrets. Honestly, i don't know if i actually regret anything. it's not regret, but ... i can't think of the word. i wish more than anything I'd been able to eat and not throw up, or maybe if I'd slept solidly the 2 nights before, or maybe if... maybe what? Maybe if I were more of a woman i'd have been able to push her out? Maybe if I were stronger she wouldn't have gotten stuck? Maybe if I'd just done one more thing, pushed for one more hour, tried one more position, then what? Yes... that is the constant tape that's played in my head. I actually admonish myself for not being strong enough, or for perhaps not pushing long enough. I pushed for THIRTEEN f-ing hours, and I think these thoughts.
You know, it's funny.... when we first started infertility treatment (yeah for those who don't know, or don't remember, our conception wasn't all roses either) I felt so much SHAME, I didn't want anyone to know that we might have a baby concieved with help. By the time we got to IVF, I was shouting it from the rooftops. I was (and still am) PROUD to be part of the infertile tribe. I told practically everyone that my pregnancy was an in vitro success. I figured, the more I talk about it, the less shame someone else will have in the future.
And now... here I am again. i stand here, two months out from a failed homebirth that ended in c-section, and i feel so much SHAME. I feel like i have failed at the one thing my body was made to do. It's like starting IF treatment all over again, only bigger. I feel like i let myself down, my husband down, my midwife down, and most of all, i feel like I have let Ruby down. And this one hurts the most. I treat babies, kids and adults everyday who are recovering from birth trauma.. and now I have kid that seems to have birth trauma. Everytime we give her a bath she is BEYOND happy while she's in the water. It's like the entire universe is finally right. And then when we take her out, she completely loses her shit. Inconsolable crying that is only relieved with swaddling and nursing. Sigh. At least I can relieve it, right?
I look at this little person, and I can't believe she was inside of me. It's like I don't believe it because I didn't see her comeout. I feel like I missed the best part of birthing her.those first few moments of her life outside of me are lost, and I will never know what they were like. i can never change it, and I can never go back.

So.. how's that for some birth regrets?

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#318 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 01:39 AM
 
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Oh, Korin..... is about all I can think of right now. You really, truly put in a superhuman effort, please know that. 13 hours? My God. I pushed for 2 and was exhausted.

My first born was also born by section, and he is a happy, healthy, bright, super little guy, so please don't be hard on yourself and think Ruby is destined to carry any extra weight about being born by section...she KNOWS you love her and would do anything for her, and that you are there for her. Because you are. You can tell from your blog that you are completely devoted to her, and trust me, she knows it.

Oh, and my DD, born by section? HATES water. HATES her bath....is WAY happier once she's out of it, so go figure. Please be gentle with yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but I hate to see you hurting when you're so obviously a wonderful woman and mother. I hope you can gain some peace about Ruby's birth and start healing soon.

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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#319 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 01:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by beccalriley
that sounds great, I would love to know how it goes! Has anyone heard of the ultimate baby wrap. It looks like the moby, but it's not. Anyway, I saw one at a resale shop the other day for $20. I didn't buy it cause I thougt I should check it out first.


I bought one the other day and i love it colors arnt as nice as mobys,it has the rings like ring slings it makes the waist nice and tight.


good buy too retil for 39.95 @ babies r us.

/NIKI/

Doing what I can to make better choices every day!
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#320 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 08:41 AM
 
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Korin, I am so very sorry you feel so guilty. You did an amazing job carrying Ruby long enough for her to get healthy and strong, and 13 hours? Holy crap, woman. Seriously...that in and of itself is amazing.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#321 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 09:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by The4OfUs
...she KNOWS you love her and would do anything for her, and that you are there for her. Because you are. You can tell from your blog that you are completely devoted to her, and trust me, she knows it.
:

Wow. These stories are so powerful. If they are any help, big, milky mama hugs are being mentally sent across the Pacific.

Next time (if there is one...) I'm going to watch my child be born. I didn't use the mirror and now I regret that. Also, when my midwife asked if I wanted to touch her head when it crowned I said "no." Don't know why. Wanted to focus, I guess. Now I look at her and wonder how I ever could have NOT wanted to touch her. Live n' learn, I suppose.

Megan. Student Physical Therapist. Married & Mom to Geneva (6/30/06). Recent transplant to the rainy side of the Cascades.
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#322 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 11:12 AM
 
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Korin...I am sorry. I think sometimes we can get caught up in the "whys" and lose some focus on what was actually happening. You did MORE than your best. Damn, I was wore out after pushing for 45 minutes with my first. You are amazing. What would have happened if you didn't get a c-section? Ruby could have lost oxygen...she could have not tolerated anymore. What happened is exactly what was supposed to happen, for whatever reason. You are safe and the baby is safe...sometimes modern medicine is helpful..hey, it got you Ruby in the first place, and it saved you both in the end. There is noone who could ever say you failed...and Ruby has a lot to be thankeful to you for..you fought like hell from day one to give her life. You are a true strong mama.

~C~
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#323 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 11:15 AM
 
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Oh, and as for me....my one birth regret is that..well, actually I don't really have one. Not a regret really, but I wish it wasn't so fast. I would love to have a labor that builds slowly so I don't lose control.

As for next time...there won't be a next time. DH is getting "The Procedure". He has a consult in about three weeks. Now there is a place for regrets...

~C~
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#324 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 11:38 AM
 
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Well said caroline!! I think we could all play the "what if" game or "should have" game, but that doesn't do anything but make us feel that "what really happened" was somehow not good enough. But since everyone else is sharing theirs, I'll share mine;

I wanted a natural birth, but ended up needing pit. then laboring w/ no pain meds, on pit, not progressing past 4cm for 14 hours, then getting an epi (feeling I've failed), pushing for 2hours to no avail, my doc having to use the vacum to get him unstuck from under my pubic bone, then me pushing him the rest of the way out. My husband was supposed to "catch" the baby but because of having to use the vacum, he didn't get to. That is ONE of my biggest regrets. I feel like if I didn't "give up" and kept pushing we wouldn't have needed the vacum and Jas N could have caught J.C. but my dh keeps telling me it happened the way it was supposed to and I didn't give up, I was exhausted for being in labor for 17 hours...he sees me as a hero and I see myself as a quitter.

I hate that I feel this way, but I try not to dwell on it. My second was a c-section pretty much like Korins labor went. So this time around I wanted to do everything "right" and plus, this one is our last, so I feel like it was my last chance to have the "perfect birth" I guess I should be proud of myself for having my VBAC, eventhough it wasn't as natural as I planned. But Caroline's right, J.C is here and healthy and my family's complete.
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#325 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 11:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Caroline248
Oh, and as for me....my one birth regret is that..well, actually I don't really have one. Not a regret really, but I wish it wasn't so fast. I would love to have a labor that builds slowly so I don't lose control.

As for next time...there won't be a next time. DH is getting "The Procedure". He has a consult in about three weeks. Now there is a place for regrets...

~C~
My dh is going to have the procedure too. We really talked about this one and I finally consented to having it done. I didn't want to take such a drastic measure of birth control, but I can't take any hormones due to my family's risk of breast cancer and we already tried natural family planning, say hello to J.C, so this looks like the best option. Plus, in worse case scenario it can be reversed, I guess.
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#326 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 11:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mommy2girlies
we already tried natural family planning, say hello to J.C, so this looks like the best option.

Yeah....William was a "What the hell???" baby. I still am not sure how he actually was concieved. My first daughter was a natural family planning baby. We need to be more proactive!! I definatly don't think we could handle anymore children and still give them the best, so we need to be done. But it is sad...I started having kids at 19 and now I am 30....I don't know any different than being in the baby stage of my life. Whatever will I do with myself??? It is a bit scary.

~C~
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#327 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 02:38 PM
 
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I think Brad's getting the snip too, although we may look in to storing a "donation" at the sperm bank just in case we decide in four or five years that we want one more. As he tells people, if this baby is a boy, we're 100% done. If it's a 4th girl, we're 99.9% done. I so desperately want a boy, and I know he does too. I'm only 22, so still very young and have plenty of child-bearing years left in me, but also have 4 kids. There are a lot of factors. Apparently we're just too fertile for our own good, given that DD was a birth control baby and this one is a "holy crap! i can't believe i got pg 4 wks pp!" baby.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#328 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Any regrets w the birth? NOPE, I dont have time or anything to think of it. Actually we are so thrilled we were able to catch what happened and have a c section since Maggie was a footling and would have died at 24 weeks delivered naturally.

As far as the procedure- been there done that. We decided then it was to be done. no regrets. We just want to enjoy our two beautiful girls and get on with that part of life.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#329 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
Any regrets w the birth? NOPE, I dont have time or anything to think of it. Actually we are so thrilled we were able to catch what happened and have a c section since Maggie was a footling and would have died at 24 weeks delivered naturally.

As far as the procedure- been there done that. We decided then it was to be done. no regrets. We just want to enjoy our two beautiful girls and get on with that part of life.
I like how you put it. It makes me give myself permission to stop feeling so guilty about the totally unplanned events in her birth.
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#330 of 510 Old 08-20-2006, 03:45 PM
 
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Korin
I think your really amazing...like superwoman or something...wow 13 hours, you should never feel guilty! You should feel strong!
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