mom gave 4 mo. old taste of ice-cream! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 07:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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During a recent visit to my parents, dh and I left all 3 children to run a quick errand for my mom. We hadn't left any bm, and baby got hungry, so my mom let him suck her finger. Then she put a smear of vanilla ice cream on her finger and let him suck that!!! It's been 2 days and I haven't noticed any reaction apart from a bit of fussiness, and that I think I can attribute to another growth spurt (I hope) but I'm so frustrated. Talking to my mom about certain issues is like talking to a rock, and anyway she has severe depression and all kinds of stressors in her life right now, so I didn't say much, but sometimes the whole 'grandparents disrespecting our choices' really gets me down. It doesn't happen very much anymore, but when it does I still get pretty upset. I know it was just a tiny bit, but the poor kid could have a milk allergy now! Anyone else have a friend or relative whom you can't reasonably criticize/disagree with over child-rearing issues?
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#2 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 07:57 PM
 
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Honestly I wouldn't leave a 4 mo old with anyone. And I wouldn't leave any child with anyone I didn't trust 100%- "family" or not.

-Angela
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#3 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 08:04 PM
 
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If you don't trust your mom, defenitely don't leave baby with her. Sorry this happened mama.
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#4 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 08:40 PM
 
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I would not freak out about a tiny taste of ice cream on a finger, and I doubt it will create an allergy. If that's the worst your baby ever has to deal with, I think he'll have a pretty mellow life. It sounds like the more serious issue here is the relationship with your mother.
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#5 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 08:43 PM
 
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it isn't a big deal to our parent's generation to give babies "tastes". ice cream is pretty safe as far as food exposures go. i wouldn't worry and i wouldn't leave my baby with someone i didn't trust.
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#6 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 08:49 PM
 
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My FIL (whom I totally adore) did this right in front of me right after I finished telling him that any food given to babies increases their risk of future food allergies--I was sooooooo angry!!!! I didn't say anything but I did give him a look which he understood the meaning and apologized. I will admit that I would be very concerned if I had to leave my infant with him again--not because the babe wouldn't be safe but because of this incident. Any food given before the one year mark--especially dairy--can cause the babe to develop an allergy later in life, I would not want to take this chance!!

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

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#7 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 08:51 PM
 
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We may be related; my mom pulls that kind of stunt all the time. She always wants to be the fun one and the one who gets to break the rules so that she ensures DS likes her. Whatever . . . .
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#8 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 11:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep, she does this with the older kids too -- gives them things they're not supposed to have, overindulges them with sugary foods, etc. It's sad. I can totally trust my mom to keep them safe and she and my dad adore my kids, but we always have this issue of her going against our wishes and not tolerating even the most diplomatic criticism. She either plays the martyr or laughs it off but rarely if ever takes us seriously. It's a problem. Thanks for the reassurances though, y'all. I was worried about this incident triggering an allergy, but I think we're safe.
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#9 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 11:46 PM
 
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: when my mom comes for a visit she always brings a sugary snack for the kids... like a bag of candy and my oldest is only 2!!! i always tell her NO! and it would be nice if she brought over some fruit instead..
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#10 of 13 Old 08-31-2006, 11:52 PM
 
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I think on some level, with my mom at least, they think because they raised us they know more than we do. My mom questions my judgment often and offers advice freely. Apparently since she managed to avoid killing me off she is the parenting expert and I am a novice in need of guidance.
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#11 of 13 Old 09-01-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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I left DD with my SIL for a few hours and she gave my DD peanut butter. DD was about 10 months old. SIL has 3 children so she should have known better.

Heffernhyphen - My mother is exactly the same way. I often hear, "But we did this with you and you turned out just fine!"

Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
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#12 of 13 Old 09-01-2006, 08:49 AM
 
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Know what's funny - my mom came over the other night with brownies. So the older kids were eating them and my mom asked if she could give the baby some. Okay, the baby 16 months old. So I said she could have a bite. Well, she took a bite, but then she saw the bananas my mom brought over and started pointing at those "bana bana bana bana". My mom is like, "would she rather have a banana than a brownie." I said, "yep, probably." And DD continued to devour an entire banana, and didn't give the brownies a second look. Like a PP said, the taste of ice cream probably won't hurt. But there is a real issue with your mom.
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#13 of 13 Old 09-01-2006, 12:29 PM
 
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it is so annoying.

older people are the MAIN ones that i notice doing that stuff. because they did not have these same "RULES" we have these days. they think "it was ok in 1960 it is ok now"...

im sure the chances of an allergy are actually pretty slim..from a one time thing... but the chances that the baby will LOVE the taste of sweet and reject something less sweet = higher.

who'd want smashed up carrots if they could have ice cream? if you didn't know the health reasons.

just wanted to jump in. cause ive been there and it is SO frustrating.
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