3 week old crying and crying and crying...ack! - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-22-2006, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 3 week old ds has in the past couple days started crying a LOT. Yes, I know babies cry, but egads! It seems like he's crying during 90% of his awake time Of course this means that my poor dd is getting even less attention because dh and I are constantly trying to calm ds.

He's crying at the breast, in arms, while being rocked... this morning I was able to calm him for a little while by holding him under his arms and bouncing him on my knee... and then he'd get upset everytime he'd start to doze off...

He sleeps well during the night, so he is getting some rest. Last night he cried for hours and I was ready to lock myself in the closet and cry by the time he fell asleep.

Is it a growth spurt, colic, reflux, overstimulation (from what???)... and better question- how do I calm him? We have Hylands Calms for kids tablets, but the bottle says ages 2 and up...but they're homeopathic so I don't *think* they would hurt him (any homeopathic mamas out there ?)

help?
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Old 09-22-2006, 01:27 PM
 
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Gosh, he sounds like my DD. SHe was VERY colicky up until 3.5 months. Unfortunately, we tried pretty much everything, and eventually she just had to grow out of it, because nothing seemed to work. We tried swaddling, rocking, slinging, white noise, vaccuming, gas drops, outside walks, reflux meds, shhh'ing, sucking, Cocynatal, etc....the list goes on and on.

Oh, I forgot...one thing that WOULD ease her crying for short periods of time was to sit in the bathroom with the shower running. Sometimes using Chamomile Catnip (by Eclectic Kids) would help, too.

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Old 09-22-2006, 01:33 PM
 
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Old 09-22-2006, 01:35 PM
 
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Have you tried the 'colic hold'? That was what worked for my dd. My DH also had/has a lot of luck with holding her up so she is kind of hanging over his shoulder (her belly is against his shoulder) - that almost always calmed her too.

We also found that standing and swaying back and forth and bouncing up and down (at the same time) calmed her down.

I second the shower idea. Also going outside often helped. Another thing that sometimes works when she gets really worked up, is standing in front of the freezer with the door open. We've gone so far as to lean in so we're almost inside the freezer. It's like the shock of cold air calms her down.

Good luck and hang in there!
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Old 09-22-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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Is your DS arching his back? Spitting up frequently? Crying out in the middle of his sleep?

You may want to look into infant reflux. That was our DD. It was very tiring, but once treated, things got a lot better for everyone.

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Old 09-22-2006, 01:42 PM
 
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have you tried a sling?
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Old 09-22-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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s. That's exactly when it started with my ds. Unfortunately, it lasted 5 weeks. : I tried everything: chiro, modifying my diet, Hyland's Colic (I think you should get the ones specifically for babies), Boiron Cocyntal (might have spelled that wrong - another homeopathic med), probiotics, all of the holds, wearing him, etc. The *only* thing that ended up working for us was time but maybe some of the things we tried will work for you. I wish I had heard of the Happiest Baby DVD - I definitely would have tried anything at that point. My ds definitely has reflux as well. My poor 6 yr old was totally neglected by me during that time - I am so glad he doesn't seem to hold any resentment with the baby so far - I must have done something right, LOL. Good luck - it will get better! If you have any firends or family who can help hold the baby to give you a little sanity - DO IT!!!!
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Old 09-22-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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I second the Happiest Baby on the Block!! It was a lifesaver for us in those early weeks... also, that would help you to rule out whether what your babe is experiencing is a physical/medical issue.
Sorry it's been so rough.... hope things get better soon!
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Old 09-22-2006, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by quirkylayne View Post
Have you read/seen The Happiest Baby on the Block?

Swaddle her
Shush
Hold her on her Side
Jiggle (put her head in your palm and softly jiggle it)
Suck (on your finger or paci)
Tried all of these.He hates being swaddled (swaddling was a lifesaver with my dd when she was an infant). Shushing doesn't help at all. Holding him on his side.... well, sorta works, except he has to be diagonal and only when HE wants it (he'll work himself into that position from being on our shoulder) and even then only for a little while. Jiggling works for a couple minutes but really only when he's diagonal. Sucking... he won't nurse when he's upset (or more accurately he'll nurse and cry at the same time until he works himself into a fit), he'll only take dh's finger and only when we're driving. He refuses racifiers so far...

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Originally Posted by Treyson'sMommy View Post
Have you tried the 'colic hold'? That was what worked for my dd. My DH also had/has a lot of luck with holding her up so she is kind of hanging over his shoulder (her belly is against his shoulder) - that almost always calmed her too.


Another thing that sometimes works when she gets really worked up, is standing in front of the freezer with the door open. We've gone so far as to lean in so we're almost inside the freezer. It's like the shock of cold air calms her down.
What is the colic hold? I'll try the freezer thing. We tried an outside walk last night and he only cried harder :

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Originally Posted by Snooter View Post
Is your DS arching his back? Spitting up frequently? Crying out in the middle of his sleep?

You may want to look into infant reflux. That was our DD. It was very tiring, but once treated, things got a lot better for everyone.
Sometimes he's arching his back (but he generally holds himself stiffly anyway, so it's hard to tell sometimes). He's not spitting up a lot. He'll occasionally cry out in his sleep, but it's not a pain cry, it's more like he's reacting to something he's dreaming. But I will look into reflux- do you have a good resource?

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Originally Posted by binxsmom View Post
have you tried a sling?
Yup. We can wear him in a mei tai if he's in a good mood, or a pouch if he's tummy to tummy, but not when he's upset... he just gets mad at being confined.
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Old 09-22-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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The colic hold is like the football hold, only baby is facing down and in front of you, instead of off to the side.

I always did it so DD's head was in the crook of my elbow and her legs dangled on either side of my arm, I used my other hand to pat her on the back. My DH would do it the other way, his hand cupping her head and her butt in the crook of his elbow.

Another thing I did when my arms were tired of holding her, was lay her on my legs on her tummy and rock my legs side to side. We could either do it so she was sideways (head hanging over one side, legs the other) or so her head was between my knees.
Good luck!
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Old 09-22-2006, 04:10 PM
 
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I know how hard that is. Does it seem like it oculd be an over-supply or foremilk/hindmilk issue?
I'd never heard of these with my first, who was colicky. But with ds2, he started diong that crying at the breast thing, and not nursing to sleep in the evenings about that age, and I started feeding him just one side at a feeding, or even two feedings in a row at the same breast, for the evening feedings, and it totally stopped.

If that doesn't work, here are some things that "worked" (at least seemed to lessen the length of the crying spells) with ds1:
vertical front hold in the sling with kind of loud music playing. Especially music with a distinct bass, like reggae, or singers with deep voices. Dance around.

as above, but while vacuuming.

as above, but with the kitchen sink running full tilt (I know, awful waste of water, but at that point it was whatever works, KWIM?)

I found normal rocking or swaying to be ineffective. I had to "dance" fairly big and exaggerated. Big knee bends, or rotating upper body back and forth.

I also would sleep propped up on pillows, or in the recliner, with him on my chest and pillows under my arms so he couldn't roll off. THat seemed to keep him asleep for the longest amount of time.
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Old 09-22-2006, 04:28 PM
 
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Sounds like what I had w/ my babe. Now he is the happiest baby. Here's what I did:

Eliminated ALL dairy (even whey and casein) from my diet (takes 2 weeks for it to be out of system); did gripe water 6x per day; Cocyntal when extremely freaking out; stopped my prenatals b/c of the iron; and put him on Zantac for Reflux. Also I wore him in my kozycarrier all the time too.

Within 2 weeks of that, my baby turned into a smiling fiend. I don't think there is ever a minute that he doesn't smile laugh or coo now except whensomething dairy gets into my system by accident....then he is a wreck. Good luck!!
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Old 09-22-2006, 05:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by liawbh View Post


I know how hard that is. Does it seem like it oculd be an over-supply or foremilk/hindmilk issue?
That was our problem in the beginning. I had terrible OS/OAL and he was soooo gassed up. One night I was sure there was something terribly wrong and was about to totally freak out when he let loose this monster poot.
Once I figured out what was going on things slowly but surely improved. One more . I hope things get smoothed out soon mama.

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Old 09-22-2006, 07:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm hoping this is just a growth spurt... today when he hasn't been crying he's been sleeping... alot of sleeping Crossing my fingers for growth spurt, but keeping an eye on everything else.
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Old 09-22-2006, 07:29 PM
 
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First of all, doesn't it SUCK MONKEY BUTTS?

Just had to get that out of the way. My son did this too, from 3 weeks until about 8 weeks. And magically, it was all gone at 8 weeks.

I HIGHLY recommend the Happiest Baby book. I know you said your son doesn't like swaddling, but neither did mine - at first. They act like you're killing them, but it really does work if you follow the instructions in the book - and even better, get the DVD. For my son, the trick was to do 4 of the S at once - sucking, swaddling, slinging/swinging (I bought a baby swing for when I needed to make dinner), sound (vacuum and HPOTB CD that comes with the DVD). And then, finally, he would stop crying and calm down. Eventually, he'd go to sleep - a very deep sleep if swaddled.

We also found that having a consistent, early, regular time for sleep was helpful. He was way overstimulated and staying awake too much. He had a very hard time calming down himself and really needed us to help him with that. If we didn't do those S's above, he would just stay awake all day long, with a 5 minute nap here or there. It's not healthy for a baby.

I had a thread like this too, about 10 months ago, and got some great advice. Good luck!
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Old 09-22-2006, 11:16 PM
 
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that was my dd until I did the dr. sears elimination diet. phew, new baby over here. TG cause I was losing it quickly!

your baby probably has a sensitivity to something you are eating...check our http://www.askdrsears.com . do a search for elimination diet.

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Old 09-23-2006, 12:19 AM
 
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We tried everything and the one thing that worked was bouncing with her on a yoga ball. Good luck
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Old 09-23-2006, 01:10 AM
 
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this is what i used to do. Turn on the hair dryer (on cold air) put him in his bouncy and turn the vibrator on, he was instantly quiet and asleep! Good luck mama!
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Old 09-23-2006, 01:26 AM
 
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We tried everything and the one thing that worked was bouncing with her on a yoga ball. Good luck
I was just going to suggest this. And time outside, but you tried that already : Hang in there mama. I'll be praying right with you for a growth spurt. I was gonna suggest the vacuum while in the sling too like a pp mentioned. Hmm....white noise music? Baby yoga?

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Old 09-23-2006, 03:04 AM
 
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Oh, Crystal, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time.

I know Anna did that for about a week at a time when she was going through growth spurts. I only know that now, in retrospect. At the time I had no idea what was going on. It is really, really hard. I'm gonna be thinking of you--sending you calm baby vibes.

I really loved the happiest baby too. I know you can check it out of St. John's lending library. I'll PM you about it.
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Old 09-23-2006, 03:32 AM
 
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I would consider taking him to the chiropractor. A doctor that has experience with babies might be able to help him a lot.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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Old 09-23-2006, 03:38 AM
 
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Is there any chance he has thrush? Ds#3 seemed to get really bad at about 3 weeks, had a rash (but it was very hot and humid at the time and we thought for a couple days it was more prickly heat rash on his bum), and finally I saw the white patches. We immediately started giving him powdered probiotics, and within one day, he was back to my happy little guy. He stopped crying/pulling away at the breast, and stopped with the gassiness.

Another thing you might try in those moments of extreme fussiness is to put a little Rescue Remedy either on his gums (you can put a drop or two on your finger and then rub them), or on your breast/nipple. We use it when ds#3 misses the "window of opportunity" for a nap and gets overly worked up because he's so tired.

And yes, 3 weeks is a big growth spurt time too ... with another one coming around 6 weeks.

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Old 09-23-2006, 03:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mamao'two View Post
I would consider taking him to the chiropractor. A doctor that has experience with babies might be able to help him a lot.
:

there may be something wrong. i know some babies do cry. but sometimes there is a medical reason. not saying there is, but if its incessant crying, there just may be.

s
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Old 09-24-2006, 03:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by aisraeltax View Post
:

there may be something wrong. i know some babies do cry. but sometimes there is a medical reason. not saying there is, but if its incessant crying, there just may be.

s
My ds had colic. It was so so difficult. I finally took him to a massage therapist who was trained in cranio-sacral (some chiropractors are as well). We went for 3 visits. After the first he was a little bit more calm, the second he was worse, and the third he was a smiley happy baby. I had him at home, and had such a strong urge to push that he was out in two pushes. I think the force of it all threw him out of whack. Just another idea for you.

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Old 09-24-2006, 04:50 AM
 
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My daughter was a crier. She cried most of her awake time for months. We had her checked for medical problems, we tried the S's, we tried...everything. She just cried.

She had reflux. She had colic. Our main thing was just to make sure she was ok, and hold her and comfort her as much as possible. Her reflux was treated, and we kept her upright a lot.

If you have a baby who doesn't respond to comforting, and cries and cries and...cries, make sure you get a break. Wanting to lock yourself in a closet is the start, wanting to jump out the window is the next step I hit (but we lived on the ground floor...so...), and wanting to chew off my own limbs in sheer frustration was shortly after that. When I got to my breaking point, I made sure to put her down, walk away, count, call someone if they could help. It was my baby, and I loved her more than anything, but after 12 hours alone with a screamer...you start to lose it.

Lots of support, and hoping it passes. For us, six months was just about magic for ending 'colic'. She still cried a lot, but not the predictable 5pm to 7am whenever awake we were having. Now she's ten months old, and she doesn't cry unless she's tired. We made it through the hard part.

As others have said, make sure nothing is *causing* it, and if you've exausted the possibilities, embrace your 'crier' and buckle under for the long road to the magic nine month old milestone that brings about less crying. If you need the ear of someone who has survived 'mystery crying', I'd be happy to listen. I know it took me a lot of venting to survive. :
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