Trying to encourage paci use - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 01:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How do I encourage DD's paci use? She's 5.5 months and so far has rejected the Soothie, the Nams, and the Nuks. I am having a hard time with her taking a bottle also but that's another story.

I'm not a paci mom as DS never had the need for it and I liked not having the problem of trying to wean my kids off them... But holy cow, DD is having a really hard time sleeping unless she's on my boob. When I try to gently pop her off, she cries and 80% of the time her eyes are still closed! I much prefer the paci than her thumbs in terms of easier weaning and I would only allow the paci use during hard-to-get-to-sleep moments.

I get her the little newborn ones but she twirls them around and moves them from side to side before shooting them out of her mouth or gagging on them. I've tried both latex and silicone.

Am I doomed to be her paci until she weans herself?
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#2 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 01:42 AM
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Are you only trying it at night? Have you tried it during the day? Sometimes, you just have to keep putting it back in, until they get the hang of it. It took about a week with my dd but she was only 4 weeks old and colicky 10 hours a day so I was pretty motivated. 5 mos may be a bit old.

Also, she may be doing the human paci thing for a reason. Have you had her checked? Maybe at her 6 mos appt, if you go, you can ask about this. Or, take her in sooner. Dr. Sears has some good info, in the sleep section, on his askdrsears website about causes of nightwaking. Sometimes there are reasons, like allergies, teething, etc. If you have not ruled them all out, it could be one of them. When my dd was first teething, nighttime pain was an issue. We got some babyorajel swabs, which are topical only and very easy to apply to the exact spot. Very easy when mom is half asleep. They helped a lot.

Otherwise, I am not sure what to say other than s as this is a trying situation. This too shall pass!
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#3 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 01:49 AM
 
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My ds who's the same age is having trouble sleeping recently as well....I think it's either teething or his tummy (we started solids)....but he does take a paci and I had to keep giving it. He doesn't always hold it in, although he does long enough to go to sleep. I gave it pretty much from the beginning (dd never got one, but I relaxed with #2). I found one he really likes recently and it has bumps/ridges for teething. Have you tried that one? I can't remember what brand it is, but I can find out.

Has he never taken one before? Maybe it's just too late to get him started, but I don't know....perhaps another mom here has more info if that's the situation.
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#4 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 02:07 AM
 
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You are not her pacifier, you're her mother. It's normal. She's smart- she knows pacifiers are not a good idea- listen to her.

-Angela
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#5 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 02:17 AM
 
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some babies just dont like pacis. none of my sons have ever taken them (well, ds3 plays with his. he puts it in his mouth for about 3 seconds, turns it around and puts it in his mouth, etc. etc.).

i would recommend against the paci.

one thing that i just started doing with my son (who at 9 months still loves to keep the nipple in his mouth) is to wait until i KNOW he's asleep, gently remove my nipple, and put my fingers gently under his chin and push up on his chin. i learned this from someone else here a few weeks ago and it has worked about 80% of the time, which is much better than never.

try it and see if it works. even at this age, the paci could affect your bf'ing r/s.
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#6 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 02:49 AM
 
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I have given my 7 mo a pacifier from early on when I realized that he loved to suck. I had never thought we would use one but the baby knows more than I do about these things! The only one he liked (aside from my nipple or my finger) was the gumdrop (you can google). We tried about 4 other types. He still uses it occasionally now. After 6 mos of ebf, I will have to say that it did not affect my supply or our bf relationship in anyway and soothed him greatly during colicky phases. Anyway, a number of people I know say that this is the only paci their babe will take. However, I don't know if it would be too small for your baby at 5 mos or if she would take to it. I think it's getting too small for DS as he is using it less these days.

At 5 months, though, is exactly when my son went through a phase where he had to be on my breast for 8 hours a night. He did come out of that phase though in the past few weeks and we both survived! I sure thought I was going to go crazy with all the poor sleep and sore boobs. Given that experience, I think you won't be her paci til weaning! Good luck to you.
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#7 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 10:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by aisraeltax View Post
i would recommend against the paci.

one thing that i just started doing with my son (who at 9 months still loves to keep the nipple in his mouth) is to wait until i KNOW he's asleep, gently remove my nipple, and put my fingers gently under his chin and push up on his chin. i learned this from someone else here a few weeks ago and it has worked about 80% of the time, which is much better than never.

try it and see if it works. even at this age, the paci could affect your bf'ing r/s.

This is great advice. I know it's tempting but please don't use a Pacifier, they're not a good idea.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#8 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 11:15 AM
 
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I found one he really likes recently and it has bumps/ridges for teething. Have you tried that one? I can't remember what brand it is, but I can find out.
This is OT, but I've wondered about those pacifiers ever since someone gave us one at ds's baby shower. Don't they teach babies that it's a good idea to gnaw on the things they suck on? IOW, wouldn't a baby that teethes on a pacifier be likely to start teething on mom's nipple, too? (I'm not trying to say that anyone who uses them is wrong! I'm just surprised that it's not a problem.)

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#9 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 11:18 AM
 
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I'm sure they DO teach that, among other bad things. I have never used a pacifier & never missed it. There are far more drawbacks than advantages.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#10 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 11:34 AM
 
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My son loved his binky as a newborn and young infant but he totally gave it up at around 7 months old. Just didn't want it anymore. We struggled at first with how to help him get to sleep without it but ultimately I think it was easier that he gave it up on his own then, than if he'd stayed dependent on it. Maybe your daughter really is just ready to not use it anymore. It's hard but it's probably time to go ahead and make that transition.

I second the suggestion about putting light pressure under the chin after pulling your nipple uot, that seemed to work well with my son as well.

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Don't they teach babies that it's a good idea to gnaw on the things they suck on? IOW, wouldn't a baby that teethes on a pacifier be likely to start teething on mom's nipple, too?
That was never a problem with my son. Even as a toddler/preschooler he's never been one to put random things in his mouth. I don't think he ever actually "gnawed" on the binky anyway...???
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#11 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 11:38 AM
 
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We never encouraged paci use but have made them available to her. She likes to play with it and chew on it a bit (teething), but has never had a real interest in sucking one and that's fine with me. If she's not addicted to it, then we don't have to worry about her breaking the habit later on.

If yours doesn't want it, then don't force it. Besides, I've heard if you're going to use one, it's best to use up to month six, then after that, not so much as it becomes difficult to wean from its use. So since your child is already close to 6 months, I'd say give it up entirely.

I also gently pop my nipple out of her mouth when she's asleep -- if she cries out or roots for it, I let her suckle a bit longer. But usually soon after, I can pop it out again (not while she's in midsuck obviously) and that works fine. But there have been many nights where I fall asleep with her suckling (side-lying) and that's okay too!

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#12 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 12:39 PM
 
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She's 5.5 months and so far has rejected the Soothie, the Nams, and the Nuks. I am having a hard time with her taking a bottle also but that's another story. But holy cow, DD is having a really hard time sleeping unless she's on my boob. When I try to gently pop her off, she cries and 80% of the time her eyes are still closed!
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At 5 months, though, is exactly when my son went through a phase where he had to be on my breast for 8 hours a night. He did come out of that phase though in the past few weeks and we both survived! I sure thought I was going to go crazy with all the poor sleep and sore boobs. Given that experience, I think you won't be her paci til weaning! Good luck to you.
Recent survivor of this phase Ds will be 6 months next week and spent much of month 5 on the boob all.night.long. Some nights it was hourly and I thought I was going to go nuts. As nighten mentioned, I just tried to snooze through it while sidelying as much as possible but it's tough! There is a HUGE growth spurt around 6 months and I'd guess they're probably nursing like little fiends to get the supply ready for that.

I also wanted to add to you. My ds also refuses a paci/bottle/anything that's not the mama and is a huge comfort nurser. It can be tough, and I imagine your older dc may need you during some of this time too. If your babe just won't take the paci she just won't take it...not much anyone can do about that. If the requirement to nurse all night, even when sleeping, is new, then you can bet it's a phase that's likely to pass long before weaning.

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#13 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 12:59 PM
 
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I think also that it could be a passing phase. my dd went through this for a couple of months around that time. I think it was a combination of teething, and being hungry all the time. It is hard mama, but if you can, hang in there and let her nurse. It will pass. Of course, if you have to work in the morning, I realize that you really need your sleep.

The times that I have felt like a pacifier was right, were in cases when the baby was really obsessively sucking on anything and everything, every moment of the day, almost like it was a neural situation. For you, it sounds more like a comfort thing. Try to comfort nurse if you can, and know that it is a pretty common thing around that age, and there will be more phases like this. I eventually learned to fall asleep while she was doing that. One other thing you can try, is lying on your back and having her chest, nursing that way. It could be that she just needs to feel your body. If she falls asleep on her stomach on your chest, I would bet that when you take the nipple out of her mouth she won't mind a bit.

Hugs to you mama.
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#14 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 01:07 PM
 
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DS was never much into the paci, and while we didn't really push it, I always thought it would have been nice if he could have used it sometimes. He's always preferred to nurse. Now he's 7 months old and never uses it anymore. I am glad we don't have to deal with weaning him from the paci. The other good thing is that he is really into sucking his thumb. I'd say over the last month or so, he's been thumbsucking more, and will do it many times to help him fall asleep. Does your dc show any interest in thumbsucking? That could be another alternative.
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#15 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 02:43 PM
 
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You are not her pacifier, you're her mother. It's normal. She's smart- she knows pacifiers are not a good idea- listen to her.

-Angela
Yes I am sure that her baby "knows" they are not a good idea. Lets be real here.

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#16 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 03:12 PM
 
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DS went through a suckling all night long phase too. The thing I noticed was that it started at the same time the too distracted to focus on nursing phase started. I felt that by nursing all night he was making up for not nursing as much during the day. Remember that just b/c she is asleep doesn't mean she isn't eating.

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#17 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 03:25 PM
 
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Yes I am sure that her baby "knows" they are not a good idea. Lets be real here.
I believe the poster you're replying to meant that if baby prefers mama to the paci, then baby is reaffirming that a paci is not a god idea in her case.

No need to get snotty about this. We're all doing the best we can.

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#18 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 03:30 PM
 
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We really encouraged dd to take one in the early weeks (once bf was going strong) because she was screaming for 12 hours a day from colic. She never really liked it, only took it really to get to sleep. At four months she refused both paci and bottle and has never looked back.

At six months she started sippy cups and does ok with them.

I honestly wouldn't push it on her. Have you tried the chin thing? I think I read it in the 'No Cry Sleep Solution', where sometimes if they're sleepy and flutter sucking you can break latch and hold the chin kinda up...if that makes sense...while saying 'shhhh' or something. I thought it was crazy, but it actually worked sometimes with dd. She would relax sometimes to the sound and stop the frantic rooting. And sleep was a terrible struggle for us because we can't cosleep.

Hope this phase passes quickly, or you're able to figure out if there's a reason and fix it.

I'm actually glad dd rejected the paci. I see most kids her age running around with them constantly and I think dd looks so much cuter without a big platic plug in her face. Somehow we survived the post-paci phase. It sometimes took me hours before I managed to nurse her to sleep so I could put her down.

Good luck!!
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#19 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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Yes I am sure that her baby "knows" they are not a good idea. Lets be real here.
I'm confused. Do you not think that babies have some wisdom? They know when to eat. They know when to sleep.

Pacifiers are not a good idea This baby is trying to tell mom that she doesn't want or need one.

-Angela
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#20 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 04:43 PM
 
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Yes I am sure that her baby "knows" they are not a good idea. Lets be real here.
I'm sure she knows it too! What's "unreal" about that?

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#21 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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DS went through a suckling all night long phase too. The thing I noticed was that it started at the same time the too distracted to focus on nursing phase started. I felt that by nursing all night he was making up for not nursing as much during the day. Remember that just b/c she is asleep doesn't mean she isn't eating.
THIS is what mine has done for the last few months too. IF you can (not always possible for me), then try to nurse her each day alone and away from distractions. I find on our "down days" (i.e., no picking up other kids from school, no errands, no major distractions), he tends to nurse MORE during the day and less at night. But with this age, he is so easily distracted.

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Yes I am sure that her baby "knows" they are not a good idea. Lets be real here.

i think *most* mamas here do depend on our babies knowing much of what they need (eating, sleeping, and yes, even comfort).
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#22 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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pacifiers are not a good idea
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please don't use a Pacifier, they're not a good idea
Could someone please expain why not? I have not come accross any blanket directive to not use them at all, other than in this thread and I'm wondering what the reasons would be to avoid their use altogether?
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#23 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 05:01 PM
 
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Could someone please expain why not? I have not come accross any blanket directive to not use them at all, other than in this thread and I'm wondering what the reasons would be to avoid their use altogether?
Sure, a few reasons in no particular order:

they're something else to keep clean (and often aren't)
it's an unnatural sucking position
it can decrease supply
it can mess up baby's latch
it can encourage premature weaning
there is some evidence it could contribute to ear infections

-Angela
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#24 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Could someone please expain why not? I have not come accross any blanket directive to not use them at all, other than in this thread and I'm wondering what the reasons would be to avoid their use altogether?
my only statement against teh paci is that i wouldnt recommend using one. my reasons are personal. basically, i have read in much of the literature that there is a risk of nipple confusion. also, there is a risk of a baby nursing less if he/she is using a paci (which i dont think is good).

mostly, though, FOR ME, my recommendation against a paci is that i have seen too many kids with paci's in their mouths at an older age and i don't think that is a good thing for teeth development. i also don't think its good for a child to be dependent on a paci for comfort. yes, every child has things they take comfort in, but for some kids with paci's, it seems they have to be taken everywhere and if they get lost, ive seen some kids go crazy (yes, this has happened with blankets, etc. but i think they are larger and much less likely to get misplaced). i never wanted to have to deal with weaning from a paci. i guess you could CLW from a paci, but i never had to consider that b/c my kids never took to paci's at all. i bought them, but didnt push them. and i don't recommend pushing them on babies for hte above reasons. my reasons may not be the same as others, and no one has to agree. just trying to explain why i said what i did.
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#25 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 05:17 PM
 
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Just in our experience with pacis, as far as not being a great idea:

DD1 used one constantly, until she was almost 3 1/2. She would talk around her paci. I am not her biomom, so wasn't around until she was almost 3 1/2, and therefore had no control over the situation, but she had serious speech impediments, and it took over a year of intense oral exercises for her to be able to pronounce words correctly. And this wasn't normal kiddo word-flubbing, it was a matter of her top jaw having been realigned because of the pacifier, making it impossible for her to correctly form some words. Not a big deal when she's small, but a big deal when she's starting school and can't be understood.

DD2 refused to use a paci, and has never sucked on anything other than her hair and has perfect speech. Any word she tries to pronouce comes out perfectly.

DD3 won't take one either (she's 6 months now) and we're not trying to get her to. She's perfectly happy gnoshing on knuckes and her own fists, and it seems to help her when she's teething.

All that said, I was unable to breastfeed DD3 (preemie, dried up 3 times, got pregnant and lost supply) so I can't relate to the night nursing issues, and I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

Just wanted to add my $.02 about why it's been called a "bad" idea.

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#26 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 07:05 PM
 
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This is OT, but I've wondered about those pacifiers ever since someone gave us one at ds's baby shower. Don't they teach babies that it's a good idea to gnaw on the things they suck on? IOW, wouldn't a baby that teethes on a pacifier be likely to start teething on mom's nipple, too? (I'm not trying to say that anyone who uses them is wrong! I'm just surprised that it's not a problem.)
my ds doesn't chew on it, just sucks and can hold this one in his mouth easier...so I don't know if it serves the intended purpose for him (teething toy). It also hasn't caused him to chew on me, but i can see where it could possibly lead to that for some.

I agree that paci use can be a pain. i've had one babe with and one without. we haven't had nipple confusion, but it does get dirty, lost, is an added expense, etc. sometimes giving my pinkie works....i'm going to try the chin idea, i'd never heard of that one
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#27 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 07:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your insight.

I'm not pushing the paci on DD but am not discouraging her use either. (HA! What use??) Since she hit 4 months, all sleep has gone downhill and we're very close to rock bottom in terms of my sanity. In fact, right now we're battling a nap. It's been 3 hours since she was supposed to take her 2nd nap, she's slept in 10 minutes stretches and has woken up 3 times. She's obviously tired, I have rocked her for 30-40 minutes each time she's woken up. I've nursed her and she's comfort sucking. She'll start the let-down then gag and pop off, spraying milk everywhere.

(Yes, I'm watching her sleepy signs and I'm catching it correctly. She falls asleep within minutes but won't stay asleep.)

DS is about to wake up from HIS nap and she still hasn't napped. So what do I do now? I plop him in front of the TV so I can keep trying to get her to sleep.

I know the evils of paci's as I have several friends whose children are going through speech therapy for prolonged paci use. I myself don't like the look of kids running around with paci's but for me, she has got to sleep without me. For me, for her, for my son, for my family. I cannot keep doing what I'm doing every day and every night. I'm at a point where I've thought about "drugging" her - with homeopathic stuff, not the OTC stuff - so just once, I can get a full 20 minutes to sit and eat my lunch. A lunch that hasn't been reheated 3 times because she keeps waking up! :
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#28 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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Since she hit 4 months, all sleep has gone downhill and we're very close to rock bottom in terms of my sanity. In fact, right now we're battling a nap. It's been 3 hours since she was supposed to take her 2nd nap, she's slept in 10 minutes stretches and has woken up 3 times. She's obviously tired, I have rocked her for 30-40 minutes each time she's woken up. I've nursed her and she's comfort sucking. She'll start the let-down then gag and pop off, spraying milk everywhere.

(Yes, I'm watching her sleepy signs and I'm catching it correctly. She falls asleep within minutes but won't stay asleep.)
It sounds like maybe there are some other issues here that a paci may not solve.

That said, we used a paci w/ ds and tried one for dd. With ds, I had never heard anything negative about them other than that they can ruin teeth/bite(which we are struggling with).

With dd, I knew the negatives firsthand. But she had pretty bad reflux and I had serious oversupply. Every time she nursed my milk would let down. True "comfort nursing"--just slow sucking w/ little or no spray, was not possible. Then she would nurse until she projectile vomited. So I tried the paci but turns out she prefers her thumb.

I was able to correct my oversupply; meds have her reflux under control. She still loves her thumb though.

Sometimes you are educated and know something is not ideal but you do it anyway because the circumstances seem to warrant it at the time. I don't know whether it is the solution in your case. Another option might be to keep her in a sling for naps. My dd sleeps much better that way.
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#29 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 07:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Sure, a few reasons in no particular order:

they're something else to keep clean (and often aren't)
it's an unnatural sucking position
it can decrease supply
it can mess up baby's latch
it can encourage premature weaning
there is some evidence it could contribute to ear infections

-Angela

Reasons 3, 4, and 5 only apply in the first month or so of life, right?
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#30 of 53 Old 10-22-2006, 08:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Maggie'sMomma View Post
Reasons 3, 4, and 5 only apply in the first month or so of life, right?
It applies at any time. I would also be concerned about prolonged pacifier use & speech delays.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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