HELP! My 5 mo still doesn't sleep through the night! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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And it is causing problems with my other half. He doesn't like to cosleep even after all the information on why it benefits our DS. His sister and mother are really mainstream and keeps telling him that her DD was sleeping all night in her OWN room, by 5 months. I am at my wits end with his family! :

It does seem that DS likes to nurse numerous times throughout the night and that does not allow me for much sleep. I would like him to sleep through the night but I don't think I want to end the cosleeping altogether.

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? Please help!!!!
TIA
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#2 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 11:43 AM
 
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Probably not the advice you want to hear, but 5 months is still really young and babies at that age often use that nursing time for nutrition.

Some babies do sleep through at 5 months, most do not. If they are forced to (like CIO) then of course they will, but that doesn't mean it's normal.
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#3 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 11:45 AM
 
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You need to remember that "sleeping through the night" is only about 5 hrs straight. At 5 months most breastfed infants don't sleep for longer than that. Breastmilk is really easy to digest and after about 2 hrs the babe has 1/2 of what was in their tummy to start with. At 4-5 hrs they get hungry.

Most babies do not on their own "sleep through the night" or longer than 5 hours at 5 months.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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#4 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 11:54 AM
 
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the child who sleeps through the night you mentioned in the post was probably sleep trained (read CIO) and that is never ok, no matter what the pay off.

cant really offer *useful* advice, save to say you are probably in the majority here. babies are not designed to sleep like adults. it's our modern society that has that (unrealistic) expectation of them, often at the expense of their emotional wellbeing. 5 months is a very busy time developmental wise, and that can have a negative impact on parental sleep quality milestones are being reached, teeth may be sprouting, a growth spurt may be driving the desire to nurse more, all manner of things can disrupt their sleep.

FWIW my dd is 14 months and has yet to sleep through the night. one night she only woke twice, that's the best she can do right now. there are times when i want to pull my hair out and scream, but i never had any expectation that she would sleep through until she's much older that makes it easier to deal with.

babies dont eat, think, talk, speak, or do anything for that matter, like an adult. i dont understand why some people assume they would sleep like one :

<hugs> for you, you are a great mama and are doing tjhe best thing for your baby by responding to his nocturnal needs. hang in there
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#5 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:02 PM
 
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I have to agree with the pps. My dd is 19 months and still wakes every 2 hours most nights. Ds did the same thing until he was 2 in a half and then one night he slept 12 hours and has been doing it ever since. It will happen, but be patient.
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#6 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:11 PM
 
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Probably not what you wanna hear, but my DS is 17 months old and still doesn't sleep through the night!
He has his own mattress in his bedroom, but every night I'm in there with him by 1am.
I'm going to enjoy it while I can....
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#7 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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DS who turns a year old next week doesn't sleep through the night.
In fact, neither do I, nor does my DP. We both get up to use the restroom and get a drink of water at least once.
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#8 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:18 PM
 
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Ds is 11 months.....still up every 1-2 hours. I haven't gotten more than 3 in a row since he was born. And 3 hours was absolute heaven Perfectly normal from what I understand and actually healthy for them at a young age.

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#9 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:22 PM
 
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Before I go any further, just let me say that my family never co-slept. Well, sometimes I would sleep on the couch with DS2 because he was up and down all night.

DS1 slept through the night at 6 weeks, in his own bed, with no "training." He'd go down at about 11:30 and slept until I woke him up at 5:30 to nurse before I left for work.

DS2 finally slept all night when he was 3.5 years old. He probably would have benefitted from co-sleeping, but it really never occurred to me back then.
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#10 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:25 PM
 
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I'd personally worry if my 5 month old was sleeping through the night. The rate of SIDS peaks from 2-6 months old, and there is some research indicating that SIDS is related to deep sleep cycles. Therefore I don't want my babies sleeping through the night until 6 months old!!! I'd much rather have them safe with me in bed where I know if they're breathing, etc. I slowly nightwean between 6-9 months, then transition them to their own crib after that, and into their own room by 1 year.
I'd just smile wryly at your inlaws and say he's "sleeping like a baby" and leave it at that!

- Krista

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#11 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:29 PM
 
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Sorry- totally normal.

-Angela
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#12 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:30 PM
 
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not to be mean but

did you really think at 5 month the baby WOULD ---- there is no way a baby can go that long without eating at that age, and they still don't have the matrue brain

I have no help

my 12.5 month old wakes every 45 to 90 minutes and i see no end in sight. I do not remember sleeping 2 hours in a row.......................

but

i know he sleep better with me adn apart form me (naps)...............

as for ILs you can smile nice, lie or do what i do tell them -- they can sleep with the baby cuz I'd love to sleep (if i am in a good mood) or tell them to F off and leave me adn my baby alone (if i am not in a good mood)

A

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#13 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:31 PM
 
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my 13 month old or 28 month old both wake up in the nite, my youngest wakes up 3 or 4 times!!
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#14 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:36 PM
 
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Like others have said, 5-months-old is still very small--babies this age usually still wake up a few times to nurse. There are some babies that will sleep through the night at this age, but that is not the norm. When my fist baby was small, a very wise mama told me to stop thinking of baby "sleeping trough the night" as a goal, and instead shift my focus to getting enough sleep.

The Sears book Nighttime Parenting might be helpful.
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#15 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:51 PM
 
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My son "slept thru the night" at 7-8 weeks meaning he slept form around 11:00 pm till around 6:00 am. He was really big, over 10 lbs at birth and kept on gaining so he was a voracious eater. People used to tell me that big babies slept better but I don't think that is true, just an old wives tale. I do have to say that my son was the *only* one of of my friends kids who was (and still is) a good sleeper. He was definitely an exception.

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#16 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the suggestions/comments. I really don't mind him "not sleeping through the night." It is my DS father that is having the issue with it. He works nights and really likes to sleep, not that he wakes up all the time with DS. He is just getting an earful from his mom and sister about my parenting choices. It is so infuriating to be second guessed all of the time just because I am doing things differently than they think I should. :

I really appreciate the support from all of you!! It helps to know that I am on the right path, regardless of what the mainstream inlaws think/say.
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#17 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 01:01 PM
 
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If he's working nights then he's not there to be wakingup by the baby. SHouldn't bother him at all then.

My 4yrs old still wakes up 2-4x a night. Shedid slept thru for a while then started waking. We tired lots of things to get her to sleep and nothing worked. The only thing that works is letting her sleep in our room. When she sleeps with us, she sleeps thru.

It's normal for a 5mths old to not sleep thru. 4hrs for a baby is consider sleep thru. And bf babies do wake up more often than formula because bm digest faster.

Ignore the ils.

Sand, Mom to three girls and a new SON!!!!  babyboy.gif Born on March 7th, 2011  I get to do these again:   bfinfant.gifslingboy.gifcd.gif
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#18 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 01:08 PM
 
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My baby will be 5 months old on Friday. The longest he ever sleeps is 2 hours....

Maybe try reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley for gentle ideas on some things you can try? She specifically has ideas for co-sleeping as well. I'm currently trying some things myself (to maybe get one longer stetch) as I'm so sleep deprived that I've almost caused several accidents with driving and I'm scared for our safety at this point...
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#19 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 01:38 PM
 
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My ds is 6 mos old. We have co-slept since he was born. My dh was not so sure about the co-sleeping thing either. But after trying different things this is what works for us; I sleep in the middle of my lovely guys, easy to roll over and nurse my ds, easy to curl up with my dh. We do have a king bed (necessary) and have a bed-rail on the baby's side. My ds sleeps anywhere from 3 -5 hours at a stretch at night. I have noticed that if I feed ds really well (both sides) just before he goes down for the night he lasts a little longer. We will keep ds in bed with us till he wants his own. We might start making his room ready when ds is 2 years old. About your inlaws; talk about all the wonderful things the baby can do and totally ignore/change the subjuct when the sleeping thing is brought up. You sound like the best mom, your ds is lucky to have you for a mom.
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#20 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 01:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom View Post
My son "slept thru the night" at 7-8 weeks meaning he slept form around 11:00 pm till around 6:00 am. He was really big, over 10 lbs at birth and kept on gaining so he was a voracious eater. People used to tell me that big babies slept better but I don't think that is true, just an old wives tale. I do have to say that my son was the *only* one of of my friends kids who was (and still is) a good sleeper. He was definitely an exception.
My son was big, too (the one who slept through the night at 6 weeks). I was also a big baby and a "good sleeper," according to my mom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee21972
....there is no way a baby can go that long without eating at that age....
Apparently, some babies can go that long without eating at even younger ages. My kid did....and he's still alive, well, and sharp as a tack. He'll be 15 in January.
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#21 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 04:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnysideup View Post
When my fist baby was small, a very wise mama told me to stop thinking of baby "sleeping trough the night" as a goal, and instead shift my focus to getting enough sleep.
What a great perspective!! It's true too. My husband is away and I'm home with the 3 boys. The baby probably nursed 4 times last night....yet I got about 10 hours of sleep last night. So it doesn't HAVE to leave you sleep deprived as they get "older", you just have to work around it.

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#22 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 04:47 PM
 
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My 8 month old still wakes up like 10 times a night right now.

Sorry, hope you get some sleep somehow or find some solution...and if you do let me know so I can try it! lol
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#23 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 06:23 PM
 
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My ds didn't cosleep after 6 months or so, but he didn't sleep through the night until he was well into his first year. Let your partner know, it's not because you co sleep. Many babies just do not sleep all night long.
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#24 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 06:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 2tadpoles View Post
Apparently, some babies can go that long without eating at even younger ages.
Yup. I've had one of each, both breastfed on demand, both cosleep with us most of the night, both have been (and will continue to be) ALWAYS responded to at night whenever they need something:

My 2-3/4 yo son still wakes up a couple times at night.

My 5 mo daughter has been sleeping from about 9pm-5am every night since she was about 12 weeks old.

. Same parenting, different kids, different results. Since having my daughter, I am a firm believer in temperament being a LOT of what makes our kids tick; IMHO, the key to AP is being responsive to them and their needs as individuals and not forcing them to do things that society says they are "supposed" to do or not do.

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#25 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 06:38 PM
 
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My four year old still gets up a couple times at night! I didn't know kids ever slept thru the night! Ha ha. My ds is just now 5 mos old and I don't expect him to be sleeping thru the night anytime soon. How could I miss that cute little sleepy grin in the middle of the night and the snuggly nursing...I nursed my 2nd dd thru the night till she was around 10mos old.
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#26 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 06:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by cadinsmommy View Post
Thanks for all the suggestions/comments. I really don't mind him "not sleeping through the night." It is my DS father that is having the issue with it. He works nights and really likes to sleep, not that he wakes up all the time with DS. He is just getting an earful from his mom and sister about my parenting choices. It is so infuriating to be second guessed all of the time just because I am doing things differently than they think I should. :

I really appreciate the support from all of you!! It helps to know that I am on the right path, regardless of what the mainstream inlaws think/say.
yeah, well you shouldn't take their advice if they are not experts on the subject let alone didn't co-sleep and don't even have experience with it, etc.

he should tell them to go buy some books on the subject and not make opinions on something they don't even know anything about.

besides you are parents of a pretty new baby, tell him to suck it up, perhaps he should sleep on the couch

don't second guess yourself, your doing a fabulous job and making good choices.
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#27 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 07:09 PM
 
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I read somewhere once (maybe one of the Sear's books) that at one year of age, 69% of bf babies still wake up at night. You are very much in the majority not the minority.
I am a very shy, quiet person, not in anyone's face about anything, but I don't take flack on my parenting, I know what's best for my child not my family members. I simply smile and say firmly that this is what works for me, and that it's not up for discussion. It does work.

DD1 started sleeping through the night when she was 3.

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#28 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
Yup. I've had one of each:

My 2-3/4 yo son still wakes up a couple times at night.

My 5 mo daughter has been sleeping from 9pm-5am every night since she was about 12 weeks old.

. Same parenting, different kids, different results. Since having my daughter, I am a firm believer in temperament being a LOT of what makes our kids tick; IMHO, the key to AP is being responsive to them and their needs as individuals and not forcing them to do things that society says they are "supposed" to do or not do.
mine too... one slept through at 6 weeks old... 11pm-6am!! and breastfed...

my dd always did a 5 hour stretch 7 - 12pm and then up every 3 hours until she weaned... so 3am and 6am.
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#29 of 40 Old 11-28-2006, 07:31 PM
 
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Well, and the funny (not ha-ha) thing is that a lot of these moms who insist that crib sleeping in another room produces all-night success - how would they know? They're in another room. The babies have been taught that nobody's going to come and help them in the middle of the night. I have an extremely hard time believing moms who insist that their 6 month old is sleeping through teething, fever, colds, etc that we all know plague an infant's - not to mention adult - sleep patterns. Just because the parents choose to pretend they don't know the babes wake doesn't mean they're not waking, and miserable, or alone, or what have you.

Many of the CIO moms I knew either pled ignorance (i.e. I just put her in there, who knows if she wakes up? If she's crying, I sure can't hear her anyhow) or knew that their kid was awake and/or crying during part of the night. I knew one person, she put her daughter to bed at 6 pm, even though she didn't go to sleep until almost 8. Same thing with her naps - same scheduled naptime everyday, whether the kid ever went to sleep or not. I knew one mother of twin infants, she couldn't wait to move into their new house, then she'd be two floors away from the babies, so she wouldn't hear them crying at night.

I say you gather a little more suspicion towards these inlaws and their miracle sleepy baby cure. When you spend time in CIO homes, you see things as they really are, not the way parents are trying to spin it. Many mothers are bound up in being perfect mothers, and appearing to have all the answers.

Feh.
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#30 of 40 Old 11-29-2006, 01:31 AM
 
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found a good link you might like to read about sleeping thru the night and all the scientific stuff about it

sleeping thru the night link
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