the situation with CPS - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 07:37 PM
 
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Wow, I'd be upset too! She didn't leave a card or something so you could call her?
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#3 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, I'd be upset too! She didn't leave a card or something so you could call her?
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#4 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 08:11 PM
 
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This website has good info about your rights ect.
http://familyrightsassociation.com/c...parents_guide/

Good luck and I hope everything goes just fine!!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#5 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 08:23 PM
 
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Know your rights. You do NOT need to let her in or let her see your children if she doesn't have a warrant. You do not even need to meet with her without a warrant.

-Angela
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#6 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 08:25 PM
 
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Call a lawyer...now. Trust me. Good luck!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#7 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 08:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Call a lawyer...now. Trust me. Good luck!
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#8 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 08:59 PM
 
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Legal aid? Check the social services listings in your phone book, there is likely a number for free or low cost legal help.

Good luck, mama. Be strong!

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#9 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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It's disturbing and probably one of my worst nightmares. Who in the world would have called? (There's no chance it was your husband, is there? I hate to even suggest it : but...) My Ex has threatened to call CPS so many times just because he's an angry man, that I fully expect a visit sooner or later.

I hope it's nothing... I've heard they have to follow up every call they get. And maybe whomever made the call was mistaken. I'm sending calm, soothing vibes your way, mama!
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#10 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:08 PM
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It could be nothing. Talk to the woman on the phone when she calls you back. Depending on what she says, make a decision on how you want to proceed from there.

Also, I'd do some thinking. Any angry neighbors or business associates with a grudge?
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#11 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#12 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#13 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:24 PM
 
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Desirae, sorry this is happening. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'd be really careful about everything anyway. Keep a log of dates and times and names of people you talk to. Don't let anyone in your house. Try to resolve this over the phone. If you do meet the lady in person, take notes during the meeting. If this turns into something, let me know. I used to represent parents in CPS cases, and I've seen a lot of the crap CPS does wrong.
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#14 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:26 PM
 
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I'm glad you weren't there when she showed up so you have time to prepare. You won't be as shocked and flummoxed when she arrives. I hope it all goes great.


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#15 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Desirae, sorry this is happening. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'd be really careful about everything anyway. Keep a log of dates and times and names of people you talk to. Don't let anyone in your house. Try to resolve this over the phone. If you do meet the lady in person, take notes during the meeting. If this turns into something, let me know. I used to represent parents in CPS cases, and I've seen a lot of the crap CPS does wrong.

i'm really scared candice.

anything I say could be miscontrued and used against me. I need to chose my words very carefully.

Legal aid is closed for the evening I will call back tomorrow morning to try to get some advice.
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#16 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#17 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:31 PM
 
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momma
I had CPS at my door a week ago and it was the scariest think I've ever had to deal with.
Everything is fine now, so I have a lot of positve thoughts coming your way !!!!

mother to E-(8).... A-(6) .... & N-(5)
Vivian Claire born 3-11-10.... ...still an , extendedmomma :
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#18 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#19 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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Was she able to tell you why? You and your precious son will be in my thoughts. Best of luck to you. I would contact legal aid before you go tomorrow. Why take the baby with you?

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#20 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 09:38 PM
 
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Ever since I came across some old CPS threads on this site, this has become my greatest fear. I'm seriously talking to DH about choosing a place to live based on how much discretion the state law gives CPS. And panicking about my dirty dishes.

I'm sure you are a wonderful mother and praying that that comes across in your phone conversation and that she drops it after that.

Let us know what happens tomorrow.

ETA: (simultaneous post) Praying for you.

At least the visit is at her office so she can't go snooping into your kitchen sink or the books you read.

Make sure triple check that you have everything a baby could possibly need with you.
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#21 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Was she able to tell you why? You and your precious son will be in my thoughts. Best of luck to you. I would contact legal aid before you go tomorrow. Why take the baby with you?
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#22 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 10:03 PM
 
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It gives you a chance to make a good impression.
Best of Luck, I'll be praying for you too.

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#23 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 10:15 PM
 
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I would DEMAND to know what you're being accused of BEFORE going! She HAS to tell you. This sounds VERY fishy to me. Personally, I would NOT go. Sounds almost like a set up. TAKE A WITNESS WITH YOU IF YOU GO! Keeping you in my thoughts...

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#24 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 10:22 PM
 
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The social worker finally called me back.

There is an open investigation.

She wants me to take the baby with me to her office tomorrow at 10 am.

wish me luck, send a prayer, good vibes, positive thoughts....
If it were me, I would not bring the baby unless the lady had a warrant. This can be a fine line between protecting yourself and pissing the social worker off so much that she has a vendetta against you. Why not tell her that you are going to seek the advice of an attorney before meeting with her? Tell her that you honestly have no idea why they were called, but you want to make sure you know your rights before meeting with her. I've never really dealt with the stuff that happens before kids are taken. I got to deal with the cases after that point. I can tell you that a number of cases would never have gotten to that point if the parents didn't let people into their houses and if they didn't offer information like, "Crib, what crib? We sleep in the same bed," and what have you.

You know, it's also really normal to say something like, "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable coming to your office. Can we meet at a coffee shop?" You are the one with the constitutional right to privacy and right to parent your child as you see fit. CPS doesn't get to infringe on those rights unless they can prove neglect or abuse. If those things are not present, then feel confident when you talk to her. Don't feel like they have any control over you.

You also have a right to know what the accusations are. You don't have a right to know who made the accusations, but you have a right to know what they are, so find out.
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#25 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 10:27 PM
 
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she asked me to bring him with me.

She said we could talk tomorrow.
Mmm...if someone said this to me, I would say, "No thank you. If you can't even tell me what this is about then you can call me if you ever get a warrant."
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#26 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 10:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mmm...if someone said this to me, I would say, "No thank you. If you can't even tell me what this is about then you can call me if you ever get a warrant."
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#27 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 11:05 PM
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Oh, no. I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all. I would call back, sweet as pie, and say, "You know, on second thought, I'm not comfortable bringing my child to your office. I'm sure whatever we need to discuss can be discussed here on the phone."

At that point, hopefully she'll start talking. It would behoove you to know EVERYTHING about child development you can get your hands on, particularly how it pertains to your child. Social workers like facts. Height, weight, how many times he nurses/how much formula he takes. And know loose generalities like what is expected of a baby your son's age.

If she demands or insists that you bring him to the office, again refuse. Say you won't be comfortable with her near your child without a lawyer's advice, and that if she comes to your home again, she'll have to show a warrant.

But try the nice-as-pie approach BEFORE you get to legal mumbo jumbo. If she thinks you are putting her off, she'll automatically be hostile to you, kwim?

But no. Don't go to that meeting tomorrow. Call at 8AM and cancel.
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#28 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 11:12 PM
 
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Oh boy... I have only had negative experiences with CPS, but I'm thinking of you tonight and hope things go well for you. Listen to the previous posters! No warrent? No entry! Its the single most important thing you can do to protect your family.

Secondly, don't sign anything. If you aren't guilty of anything, signing "case plans" is an admittance of guilt.

Get a lawyer asap. I will tell you that many legal aids won't do CPS work (or they will take it on, but honestly don't try very hard at all to fight for you) because they often work in conjunction with CPS as well. If they go against them they run the risk of being black balled from any future state cases. (which give them income)



Good vibes coming your way!



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#29 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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I can imagine how frightened you must be, Mama!
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#30 of 127 Old 03-19-2007, 11:16 PM
 
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Couldn't read and not respond. Hope all goes well. Be firm and be strong, and volunteer as little information as possible--silence usually gets people talking and you're more likely to learn more about the whole situation by offering sparse answers.
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